Agreed. Mine is quick, simple, and clean. You can view it here: http://www.ashanas.net though it hasn't been updated to include my most recent job.

^^^ I really like this, a lot. Makes me wish I had an extra job or some awards to throw on a resume that I could throw on a page and put together like that.

dont forget a solid handshake during the interview. it makes all the difference!

Who do you think you are? PageWizard?

dont you hate when you accidently get a bad grab on somebodies hand like you only grab their fingers and you look like the the biggest piece of **** in existence?

I think I give a good handshake but everybody makes mistakes especially when theyre nervous and its so embarassing to **** up a good handshake

This is just anti-intellectualism.

The foundation is a sort of pandemic pseudo-eugenicism that claims all skills are exclusively the result of breeding. This has happened because we, as a culture, no longer understand the meaning of the verb "to learn". People don't understand how much study and training is necessary to learn a skill because they are not exposed to it. We are essentially brainwashed from a young age with the myth of the child prodigy, and our assembly line education system is so useless that the development of genuine skill is only ever accomplished in the home, virtually hidden from the rest of society. The very concept of learning is now an alien thing, replaced wholesale with an absurd strawman of rote memorization and waxing moronic about the last century's pulp serials.

"You can't judge me for being uneducated, I was just born this way."

...then you combine it with "all men are created equal", which is almost-universally misinterpreted* to mean "all men are absolutely equal in merit". That's when you have a problem. Because suddenly it's okay to be a hopelessly useless, untalented, unread, uneducated simpleton, because surely they've got something else going on that you don't.

"Oh, you're really smart. That means I must have a bigger penis than you do."

...and then you bring it into the "business" world.

How much should the programmer get paid? Nothing. I'm working for free, the programmer should too. We're equals.
How much should the programmer receive in equity? 50%. There are two of us, we're equals so we should get the same shares.
What percentage of the work was coming up with the idea? There are two of us working on it and we're equals, so the idea was 50% of the work.

It's dumb as all hell but this is what people actually think.

(* N.b. it means "all men are born naked, with an empty head, an empty wallet, crying and covered in ****". lol if you believe the founding fathers thought the serfs were as meritorious as the landed gentry.)

heh i felt like a wuss once during a job i had just started...i had on my day off got mad at something and punched the spare tire on the back of my car, and well probably sprained my hand, no insurance so i sucked it up. i wanted to kill all the new people i met that week!

so, I changed my major and went back to my old college (going from art to IT)... How does one list that, without sounding lame as ****? Or would it be best to keep it off?

I would assume honestly, if they're really interested in why you had such a drastic life change why try and make it more than it is and have it come off as stupid

"Art wasn't for me, I found something new I really enoyed, so much I went back to school to study it"

or

"Art was lame, I couldn't afford a new fedora or rent every month so I decided to do something more profitable and worthwhile"

Both could be true. What are they going to do, scold you for being honest?

I think Jon`C said before: They know why you want the job: to stop yourself from starving. It's not really a big secret. Why try sounding like a hero?

Actually I believe you've got huge leg up if you haven't quit your last job. Just don't print off your resume at your current office and leave it in the printer like in that one tv advert.

About a year and a half ago I realized that I didn't enjoy my job (mostly due to being pretty much like this - and no, I didn't choose a life of crime instead) so I decided to apply to the university again. Then again, back in high school, the only subject I really got good grades in was history so I decided to apply for that (around here it's not considered an art degree but it might actually be even worse). I thought that maybe in a few years, having a bunch of papers that say "FGR can has teh Master's Degree in Social Sciences" (I really hate the way that sounds in English) might get me ... somewhere that's not a basement.

But lately I've started to wonder if I really made the right choice. I may have to change apartments soon and for that I'd need to take a loan and thus far I've prided myself in not owing anything to anyone ever (not including monthly stuff like Spotify and cellphone bills in this criteria). Technically I'm on a study leave from my job until September 2013, and with that mind-breaking job I still earned enough to maintain a poptastic daily routine. These days I've had to cut off some stuff (not that much, actually). The only bad part would be that returning to the job would eventually erode my soul and make me become Macro_Roshuma or something. Going through with this degree thing (it'd look nicer than "lol n0 d3gr33, n3rd") might just have delayed the inevitable doom and I might actually regret leaving the basement in the first place.

Kind of annoying, but - sadly enough I'm 100% serious right here (which is a rarity for me) - it seems like I had to take this studying "diversion" in order to properly finish Deus Ex: Nihilum. Would be more or less impossible with a full-time job. Once done with that, well, I don't really have any other future prospects or plans so I actually might just get back to the basement in Sept 2013. I guess the boxes full of papers and outdated computers with Microsoft Excel open might have missed me for who-knows-why.

Now how does this relate to the original topic.. well, I once applied for some summer job and I sort of wanted to pad my Curriculum Vitae (that's the most widely used name for 'resumé' around here) a bit so I included "OMG I HAS A LEVEL IN BUILDJEDUED" in it. So... don't do anything like that.

Typically you can just put the year you graduated in and what your degree is and that's really all you need. I doubt someone's going to throw your resume away because they saw "Graduated in 2008" instead of "Attended from 2004-2008" with your college. If they want more detail, they'll ask for it, but most likely they won't care enough to even ask.

And if you're currently a student, I would just state the year you intend to graduate in, major, GPA info if it's good, etc. Typically on a resume, don't volunteer information that you think may be looked at negatively, as long as omitting that information also won't hurt you (you don't want to leave out a crappy job for example if it's going to add a big gap in employment in the middle of your career). If you had a crappy job in high school that doesn't have **** to do with your career and adds no real value to your resume, leave it off. If you're afraid they might not consider you because you took 6 years to get a B.S. instead of 4, don't tell them when you started college unless they ask. If your GPA in college sucks, leave it off.

Did you finish your art degree? If so, list it second. Leave it off if you didn't. For the reasons Darth said.

Nice observations. I think I've definitely been guilty of this sort of mindset at times. But I don't think it's necessary or possible for everyone to be self-actualized achievers. Because in the value systems of people in general, being that sort of person isn't necessarily considered better (I think this runs deeper than simply "bad culture" as you suggest). It's just another mode of being out of many. You can't force someone to value what they don't. That said, it's easy to see how more go-with-the-flow type people and dimwits forget that doing stuff is, you know, hard.

I'm not saying that dimwits should be able to dick over the capable. I just don't think they should necessarily be condemned for their dimwittery if they keep it from spilling into the lives of others.

Your post reminded me of an Asimov quote I've always liked. "Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'"

my company filed a patent for a circuit design i made them, even though i'm a software programmer.
is that still OK to put on a resume?

What was the design?

Does your employee agreement say anything about patents? A lot of times the company owns the actual patent but you can still say "I invented this." In fact I question how it could be legal for them to claim you couldn't do that.

in the US a patent can only be granted to a "natural person"

as such, many companies have the employee sign a clause at time of filing, saying that they:
a) hand over all use rights to the patent (cant sue your own company for "infringing" lol)
b) allow the company to pursue further endeavors (sell the patent, participate in legal battles, file further for international)
c) agree to assist the company in any legal matters, regardless of future employment status (defense in court)

still, if one typed up the number into a patent search engine, the top of the page would still always show the name of that "natural person"

i could care less to keep the rights or not- its not some Zero Point Energy device lol..
it's for connecting two pieces of x-ray equipment (neither of which could i afford out of pocket :P)

and don't bother asking the number- it's only just been filed- probably another 6 - 24 months before anything turns out from it

PS patent attorneys are $expensive$

Ah, I see. In that case it sounds like you should be fine?

yeah, if your name is on the patent it's yours.

Core relation, does not imp lies cause action?