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choose the best answer:

A. Foo
B. Bar
C. None of the above
D. All of the above

Zero partial credit, still takes six weeks to grade the scantron.

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but if they used short answer, they'd need more than 1 professor to 500 students.

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Literally had this one on a statistics midterm:

If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance you will be correct?

A. 25%
B. 50%
C. 60%
D. 25%

Oh ho, watch out, it's "wacky professor"

I'm not stuffy like those other professors, I watched Dead Poets Society and

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(Also when all of the above is below none of the above, making it a logical contradiction. But did the professor intend for it to be a logical contradiction? Or did the professor **** up, and the mistake was just never caught because your cheap-ass school won't spend the money on the TA hours to test assignments? Ahaha.)

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Extra marks will be deducted for getting the wrong answer. To discourage guessing.

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Marks will be deducted for guessing incorrectly.

T/F: This statement is false.

Am I overthinking this or is that a trick question? Or both?

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D) Developers
D) Evelopers
E) velopers

I learned to memorize my address and phone number, estimate distance, that plants grow, and how to tell time from analog clocks in kindergarten. I honestly think that was the year that I learned the most useful things.

u learned the fact that plants grow in kindergarten?

In the practical sense, it was my first real exposure. We each got a little container filled with soil and we got some grass seed. We learned that plants need air, light, and soil to grow. Each day, I could barely contain my excitement to see how much it had grown. It amazed me how quickly the grass was growing day after day. Totally blew my young mind.

Must be awful nice to have a life where literally watching grass grow is a more important skill than being able to arithmetic up a personal budget

I always do really well at multiple choice tests even if I haven't ever studied the topic because I'm reading the test instead of the questions. It was really nice to see all of the things I've complained about for years being said here.

When you don't have an income, the budget becomes pretty simple. Spend as little as humanly possible.

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Yeah, where has JM been lately?

Kindergarten guys, he was in kindergarten.

He was in kindergarten, but he isn't anymore.

ah! right, my bad. Hurp!

In an interview with professor John Nash that I found on the Nobel Prize website, the interviewer asked him how American schools could better serve the needs of 'gifted children'. I'm not sure he answered the question, but he did manage to say that the grades after kindergarten were, well, actually just kindergarten all over again.

Well, the only correct answer to that question is "burn it all down and start over with a thousand times the funding, better people, and better priorities" but that answer isn't really diplomatic enough for a public figure like Nash.

What do they really teach in kindergarten? Sit still and pay attention. Do it for just 10 minutes, and then you get rewarded with free play time. If you can't sit still and pay attention, you have to sit in the corner. Of course every grade after kindergarten is just more kindergarten, because your entire life after kindergarten is the same way. Except the sitting still time always gets longer, and the free play always gets less free.

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+ people who reward themselves with toys.

I. I hate this test
II. I'm going to kill someone
III. I haven't yet decided whether to kill somone
IV. Go **** yourself with a rotary saw
V. The fact that I'm about to be asked which of the preceding statements are true rather than which of the following statements are true makes a difference in my attitude toward this question
VI. Seriously, shut up

Which of the preceding statements are true?

A. I, II, IV, and VI
B. III, IV, V, and VI
C. V only
D. I, III, IV, and VI
E. I'm going to skip this question because if I use the full allotted test time, getting out of the parking garage will take at least half an hour

-- Multistate Bar Examination

I wish I could share my graduate-level computer graphics final but I didn't get to keep it.

It wasn't multiple choice, but... uh

It was something like:

Question 1.

a. You have a camera at point c with an 80 degree fov and vertices v1, v2, ..., v8 on an object rotated 90 degrees around vector w (all vectors were given numbers). Calculate the world space coordinates of the vertices v1,...v8

b. Calculate the view space coordinates of v1,...v8

c. Calculate the screen space coordinates of v1,...v8

d. Graph v1,...v8 on the following postage stamp-sized square. Assume v1,...v8 form a polygonal chain. What shape does v1,...v8 make on the screen?

e. There is a point light at position l emitting x light uniformly in all directions. What is the intensity of the light reflecting off of v1,...v8 toward the camera?

f. More.

g. More.

h. Even more.

...and then 8 more questions.

It's a good thing I am a boss at linear algebra because we were given an extra hour and I was still the only person to finish.

And I'm sure I set the curve too, so good news all around.