Backstory: I went to a state university, earned a business degree, and got a decent job. I never had any particular interest in business, but I have never had a particular interest in anything, so it seemed like an easy and "universal" degree. I did it because I was always told "go to college and get a good job."

I worked that job and made decent money. I bought a house at 24, another at 26, and a third at 27. Eventually, I grew weary of sitting in a windowless office and staring at a monitor all day. I wanted to do something different and "meaningful" with my life. I did not want to spend all day in front of a screen daydreaming about being elsewhere. I started considering different careers.

Before too long, I got into law enforcement. Out of over 1000 applicants, I was one of three hires. I thought I would enjoy it, as it was purported to be different each day, beneficial to my fellow man, and a great long term career, but after some time I realized I did not enjoy the job at all. I did not care for the politics, bureaucracy, excessive scrutiny, and rigid command structure. It was actually a pretty boring job, with occasional periods of heavy activity. I had some very dark times (emotionally and mentally) due to the nature of the work, but was eventually injured and left the department.

Physically infirmed and unemployed, I entered a period of despondency. I burned through most of my savings. Eventually, I sold one of the houses and bought a small business. Over time, it grew and became a decent vocation. I cannot complain about the business as I earned plenty and worked about 15 hours a week. The earnings are solidly middle class, but there is little to no hope of them improving. It's a slowly decaying industry and the income potential will not likely amount to more than "comfortable." Since I am the sole owner, a lot of the income goes into paying for insurances, taxes, and supplies/equipment. There is not likely to be any sort of "retirement" in this trade.

Today: I am in the process of selling the business; by the end of this month I will again find myself unemployed. I'm trying to figure out where I want to go and what I want to do. I would like to move out of California, as our taxes and cost of living are astronomical, yet education, safety, and quality of life decrease steadily. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the country, with (literally) the best weather in the nation. I would really like to live someplace less crowded, quieter, slower, and with four seasons.

So here is my question: have you ever just started over? If so, why? What did you do?

If you were to start again, where would you go? What education, training, or industry would you enter?

Other than a wife and three kids, I have a no restrictions, debts, or any other obligations, and I will shortly receive a significant one-time cash infusion from the sale of the business. I have the opportunity to go nearly anywhere and do almost anything, and I am trying to figure it out. Any ideas, suggestion or discussion are appreciated and encouraged.

Jeez. I don't know if I've ever really "Started."

But good luck to you!

As I recall it, you're expecting your first child. Did the birth already occur, or is it upcoming?

I don't know if I'd call it starting over, but at one point I was a college dropout with a ****ty job drinking too much. I decided to clean up and realized I wanted to do a PhD. So I sampled subjects until I found what I thought seemed most interesting, enrolled in community college and worked. Well, here I am just after my first year of my PhD.

Why a PhD? Probably in no small part because its difficult. Ive worked harder in the past few years of my life than I did on anything I've ever attempted before. Wanting to acquire this degree has become a goal I've centered my entire life around. And when I wake up, I can feel stressed, I feel down, I can feel overwhelmed, but no day feels meaningless or purposeless. Being published feels more gratifying than I expected it would. I also find teaching surprisingly more enjoyable than I thought I would.

A PhD isn't for everyone. The point is to have a project. Not just a side project, but a life project. Something that you feel matters and is worth dedicating your life towards. "But what to do?" is a fair question. Nobody can answer that for you, but I believe a sense of the imminancy of death and awareness of how short life is can narrow down the choices. We want genuine, deep, challenging things in life when we are at our strongest and most healthy.

In your situation you have people who depend on you. Any choice which doesn't provide income is not very realistic. Having to earn is going to be constraining on your choices. Fortunately though, love and family are the most genuine things to have. You may invariably have to suffer things you don't want to for them. But hell, that's a sacrifice worth making, as much as ordinary jobs suck.

Instead of making a whole life project, maybe instead just reserve time for a life project. Save a piece of yourself not just for a hobby, or a side gig, but something you feel really matters and is worth it. Something not worth doing because it helps you survive, but because it's just worth doing.

I wish I wasn't so easily tempted to rake in fat stacks of cash this summer inbetween coursework. I'd love to backpack the Appalachian for a while.

I've considered getting a master's degree in something and teaching at the community college level. I'm not so interested in research or being published, but I think I would be a decent teacher, and I wouldn't complain about having all holidays and summers off. I wouldn't be a good grade school teacher because kids are *******s, but in a college setting they've chosen to be there (and are paying to be there) and will be more tolerable.

I wouldn't mind having an "ordinary" job; I'm just not sure what I could get into with my indiscriminate experience that would also offer a decent level of income. I'm not skilled enough at anything or have a long enough history at anything to be in demand. I work hard and learn quickly, I just haven't stuck with one thing long enough to become excellent.

I'm open to going back to school, learning a trade, or buying another business. Upon the sale of this business, I'll have the cash to be able to provide for my family and attend a school for a few years, buy another business, or buy some property somewhere, but probably not all three. I'm looking for ideas as to what might be out there. I know that ultimately it depends on my skill, personality, interests, work ethic, money, etc. but the world is big and there are untold roads I could take.

Some things I've considered that seem to match up with my experience, interests and personality:
Purchasing, renting and managing multi-family dwellings
Becoming a pilot
Getting a degree/training in forestry or some similar outdoor field (I wanted to be a forestry officer/game warden, but they get paid **** and don't get to choose their service area)
Teaching at the local college level
Flipping houses (this is not the market for it, at least not where I live)
Learning a skilled trade (fabrication/tool and die making interests me and I have acquaintances in the industry)

Unrealistically, if there were a job that would pay me to go fishing and hunting and riding motorcycles and hiking and camping with my kids and make things out of wood and metal, I would be the first in line to apply. Since no such career exists (that I'm aware of), I figure the next best thing is to make enough money and have enough time off to do those things on my own.

Yep, she was born Tuesday evening after an insane 3 and a half hour labor. My wife spent 3-4 days dilated at 7cm, was walking around and going to work. Tuesday we went in and had them break her water. Then after something like 30 minutes she was in active labor.
Our little girl is incredibly robust. Before the vernix was cleaned off she was already looking around and lifting her head up. Though she was really active in the womb, so I guess she got her exercise.
Right now we're just figuring things out. We've hardly slept since she was born, but we're home now, and not having nurses barge in every five minutes has been really nice.

If I recall correctly you had a little girl too. How is she doing? Is it a big change from your sons?

My sister recently got fired from her job managing a small truck and RV repair/maintenance shop. She'd been working there for over 10 years and making pretty good money. Her husband was lead mechanic there as well. (Sounds like she got fired because of some personal issue with the owner.) Anyway, she was sort of bent. Instead of filing for unemployment and just looking for a different job, she decided to open her own shop and compete with her old job. Her husband quit about a week ago and they opened for business on Monday. They've had a ton of customers already (and a bunch jumping ship from her old shop, since she was really the face of the shop anyway. I know this story doesn't help much with your question but the point is that she's much happier being the boss than she was being an employee. I wonder if you'll be happy taking a "regular" job after running the joint?

Wow, that's rough, but worth it, huh? Congratulations, being a dad is the hardest, most frustrating, most rewarding, best job you'll ever have.

Our little one is seven weeks old today. She's a very chill baby, like her brothers were. She's on my lap right now making funny sounds and faces. The biggest change is that my wife had to undergo a C-section this time and has been almost completely out of commission until recently.



That's the same point my wife made. It would certainly be a difficult adjustment. Its been a while since I've had a boss.

Tell her she’s a badass. The world needs more people who think this way.