One day there was a man. He werked at blak masa in New Mexico he had to get a test to make him a troo blak masa enplaya we putt the spesamin in the cantment fild and thinn...... something hpend there was lightning evry here and there was theys weird cretchers evrywere and thin they stared attaking him so he ran and pickud up a pistle and started shoting at thim andthey prity mutch all dyed thin thay all joind togethere and th became a huge spiter like thing and thin it crold in the vints....

That's not HL. I think that's Max Payne. Anywho...

The crittures went intoo the vints and kiiled a bunch of peeple and then he shot them soome more but they woouldn't die becauuse they were invinciple moonsters so he got a bazooka out of his poccket and blew them out of a wiindow and they all died.

If you want this to be a serious story you can ignore this post.

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'But tonight, we're going to a party. Because that's our job.'
'Bleed and die, yub, yub.'
'Never tell me the odds. You know Corellians have no tolorence for odds.'
'Me? Egotistical?

-Wedge Antilles