Hi gang! As you probably already know, it is nearly impossible to create a successful Interactive Story thread here at good ol' Massassi. (Just ask me, I know!) So I said to myself, "Self, how can I create a popular story that lasts for more than two posts?". To which myself replied, "How the heck should I know, you stupid twit?" Sometimes schizophrenia can be hard. But I digress. Suddenly, the answer hit me smack dab in the center of my forehead. I needed what all popular IS stories here have...a subject that is completely incoherent yet sounds cool when repeated to your friends. With this in mind, I submit my story for you.

"Artic Banana: The Saga Begins"

Go nuts, budding writers.



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"If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell your enemies."

Your right it was a pathetic attempt.

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I don't care about your name, Red. I don't want to know your name. If you survive your first three or so battles, then maybe I'll learn your name. Not before. I used to learn the names, but it was a goddamned waste of time. Soon as I'd get to know a puke, he'd up and die on me. These days I don't bother.

-Horkin, Master-at-Wizardy

*In the Refrigerator of Life, in the freezer of a corrupt world, covered in the chocolate of poverty, sits a lone man. His feet sit on an old rickety wooden desk, he leanes back on a purple spinny chair with wheels. He had to fire his secretary 6 months ago, because 1) He didn't have any money to pay her 2) She was using up to much chewing gum and 3)She had no purpose. He hadn't had too many cases in the past year. Or the past 12 years for that matter. In fact, he had only had one case, and that was the Case of Mrs. Ferguson's Missing Cat. It didn't exactly involve a lot of explosions, shooting and intrigue. But now things were going to change. Because he wasn't just any private detective. He was Artic Banana! A burning banana peel was clamped between his lip. Another banana was jammed into his holster. He wasn't any Banana. He was a Banana with a purpose. A Banana hungry for revenge.*

(ooc: There. That's some to get it started.)

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May the Windex be with you
-Janitor Jack (Salk Wars)

and... we stop posting here

Is he actually a banana? Or just a guy in a freezer with bananas.
And there are three replies already anyway (not including this one) so it looks like you've succeeded.

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I created the most popular toilet 3do ever!
http://files.massassi.net/3do/toilet2.zip

As he stepped out of the freezer, he suddenly realized that it was a very long way down. And the Arctic Banana died a tragic death for no apparent reason!

"I needed what all popular IS stories here have...a subject that is completely incoherent yet sounds cool when repeated to your friends."

No, you are wrong. The only proof of that is Spooky Taco. Rabid's many ripoffs, such as Spooky Nacho, actually did get a few, but they were mostly stupidly long posts that filled a long way down. (5 posts per page if I remember) Amazingly, that thread was not banned. That is very rare in the Summer of Platypus. Actually, that was probably the cracking point for Rabid. AFter, he becamse the psycho poster he is today. Probably because he got shot and killed in that thread, but came back to life. Stale Cookies didn't live for long. Defenestrating Dog (or however you spell it) went on for a while, but it is no longer here.

Hey guys. Relax. I think you're dwelving a little too deeply into what I was trying to do here. This was just supposed to be an amusing little parody of all of the bizarre, confusing IS posts that seem to flock here in inane attempts to be successful. Don't dissect it so much.

All right, here. I'll try to get the story back on track...

There sat Arctic Banana, smushed against the kitchen tile-floor-of-life. It wasn't long before his body was found. His death was astounding, and his obituary marked his demise as "a bitter encounter to an open fridge door." But it seemed too easy. Banana's old partner, Agent Cole Slaw, knew their was more to this case than met the eye. He needed answers. Fast. He knew just where to turn....

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"If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell your enemies."

[This message has been edited by ComicKook (edited July 10, 2001).]

Ms. Butterworth always knew what to do in times trouble. She was always in sticky situations herself, and was very calm and able to act accordingly in times when such traumas would occur.

Agent Cole Slaw: What are we going to do?

Ms. Butterworth: Well...there's only one thing to do.

Agent Cole Slaw: (looks at Ms. Butterworth suspiciously) What would that be?

Ms. Butterworth Dreamily) We must give him mouth to mouth.

Agent Cole Slaw: Eww..are you serious?

Ms. Butterworth: Oh yes. Now..I know you don't like giving mouth to mouth...so I guess I'll have to do it.

Agent Cole Slaw: Are you sure you don't mind?

Ms. Butterworth: Oh..not at all.

Agent Cole Slaw: (looks at the clock on the stove) Well..come one..let's get to it before he become banana pudding.

Ms. Butterworth: (Proceeds to give him mouth to mouth) one..two...three..(she counts as she presses down on his stomach)

(Artic Banana coughs out a big blob of syrup and begins breathing)

Ms. Butterworth: He's alive!

Artic Banana: (stands up) Thank you for saving my life.

Ms. Butterworth: Pleasure was all mine...I mean, you're welcome. Maybe we could go...

(Ok..I don't know what to write. I was really bored. LOL..sorry if I messed up your story)