A man by the name of Craig Ri'att, was wlking along the street one day. He was feeling pretty good, considering he had a good job, his wife wasnt cheating on him, and his car wasnt trying to eat everyone he knew and loved.
But little did the man know, that a witch with powers much greater than any one before was looking on him with great interest...

thats all i got. just off the top of my head. go ahead continue. please. dont make me look stupid.

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may the farce be with you.

She thought that Craig was rather hot with all the warts, and the scar running along his cheek. All she ever thought about was him, and she watched him all day through magic means. Finally, one day, she decided that she would make Craig fall in love with her, with a spell.

The witch thought that maybe she could try and get him a little hot under the collar before she put tespell on him. so she tried coming up to him on the street and asking directions.
"Hiya," she said, trying to sound sexy, "You wouldnt happen to know where the closest motel is, would you?"
"sure," he said, cheerfully, "Just walk into that building up there that says 'Motel' across the front of it. you cant miss it."



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may the farce be with you.

The witch didn't give up easily, though.
"umm, do you think you could walk me over to it?" she asked.

"Well, I don't know.."

"But don't you think I'm sexy?"

Craig looked the witch over and said, "Actually, your nose is a bit long..."

"But you know what they say about chicks with big noses dont you?"

"Actually, I dont."

"Neither do I." At this she went into an uproarious cackle, which turned craig completely off.

"I've got to get home," Craig said, looking as his arm, which was empty of a watch, "Its getting late and my wife gets grumpy if i dont orally pleasure her at 8:00 sharpe. Goodbye."

The witch not discouraged decided she would flash him, but one look at her body made craig wretch.


OoC: boy this isnt going in the direction i envisioned it as going.

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may the farce be with you.

However, the witch wasn't ready to give up, so she caused Craig's wife to be eaten by a Venus Fly Trap and die. Craig was devastated. The witch took the oppurtunity to call him up and give him her consolation.

the phone conversation went someting like this:

"hello?"

"Hi there. Hey, im sorry to hear about your wife. what a shame." giggle from the witch.

"Who is this?"

"im a friend, i jsut want to help you out." mor giggles.

"i dont really need any help. my psychologist is taking care of it."

"Psychologist?!?! who is SHE? what have you been doing with HER behind my back?!?"

"its a him. and what the hell are you talking about? who is this?"

"ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. one that likes to swing both ways huh? weeeeeeeeeell, i see it now, youve been having wild threesomes with that psychologist lady and this man you've just mentioned. i get it. you dont love me any more."sobs.

"im hanging up now."

"but wait..." *click* "oh damn...."

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may the farce be with you.

[heh, we're the only ones that have responded to this thread]

Craig was perplexed, so he called his psychologist. The psychologist told Craig that a witch had probabaly fallen in love with him. Craig decided that his psychologist was off his rocker, and fired him. Then he decided to go for a walk. He went out, and saw a beautiful woman walking towards him. The woman was really the witch in disguise, but Craig couldn't tell, because the disguise was magic, and therefore, very believable. The woman walked up to Craig and said, "Hey Craig, honey!"

Craig glanced nervously at the woman. "How'd you know my name?" he asked.

The witch kicked herself. "Umm, I ahh... I just do..."

Craig thought hmm a psychic...
"are you psychic?"

"why yes, i am. how did you know that? *scoff*you must be psychic too!"

"as a matter of fact i am, what am i thinking right now."

"let me see..."

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may the farce be with you.

"Oooh, Craig, you're a naughty boy!"

"Um, I was thinking about going home and eating a sandwich."

"Oohhh... so you like sandwiches, do you?"

"Um, yeah." Craig said this just as the witch's magic disguise was wearing off.

"I like sandwiches, with cheese and pickles..."

"You look like a witch." said Craig.

The witch glanced at herself in a shop window reflection. To her horror the magical disguise had worn off. She hurriedly glanced around for her broomstick. She realized with horror she left it behind.
Instead, she stole a rake from a shop and mounted it. She tried to fly, but it wouldn't go. People were staring at her, probably because she was dressed like a witch and hopping around straddling a rake...

Craig didn't know what to do. He called out for someone to call the mental hospital, but everyone was too stunned to act. They simply stared at the witch with the rake. Finally, the witch realized that it was futile to try and fly on a rake, (as they just don't posess the same power as brooms). She began to cry. Craig felt really stupid, so he went over to her and put his arm around her shoulder to comfort her. Immediately he came to his senses (probably due to the smell) and stepped away from her. Then he left to go melt his arm in acid.

But he realized that doing so wouldntbe a very good idea considering what he did with that hand. soo he went off to find the nearest magical shop where they soldmagic soap. he ended up in sri lanka, where there was a boy pleeping covered in mud...

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may the farce be with you.

But the boy ran away, and Craig went home. When he got home, the was a note on his door. He read it, and it said, "I'm sorry about your arm... Sometimes I get a bit eccentric. I think you're really cute, and I wanna be your girlfriend...

signed,
The wit- err... Melanie

and he thought that was very sweet. but he noticed the mistake and sought gudance to rid the planet of the evil witch. eve though she kept looking better and better everytime hew saw her.

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may the farce be with you.

the man decided, now tha his wife was dead, that he would go out with the wit- erm...Melanie. he thought hey it might be a good idea.

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may the farce be with you.