I’ve wanted to start an interactive story for some time, but I could never think up an idea. So, I’ve decided to start a thread where people can post parodies of scenes out of the Star Wars universe (not just the movies though). But these scenes aren’t connected to the previous scenes, therefore creating a thread of unrelated SW short stories! I’ll start with this:
BEN: Moose Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
LUKE: Moose??
BEN: Yes, moose. You heard me.
LUKE: How’d it get its name?
BEN: You’ll find out when we get there.
A brief scene of some ancient automobile driving by some Jawas leading strange animals that look vaguely like drugged llamas with monkey behavior.
LUKE: Ben…
BEN: Yes I know, Imperial Stormtroopers. Don’t worry; we’ll get away.
Stomps down on the accelerator. After a few feet the back wheel flies off and trips an untidy looking bug-eyed horse. Stormies approach.
BEN: It’ll be alright. You just ignore them, young Luke
STORMIE 1: I’m sorry, but you have attempted to break the speed limit, we’ll have to ticket you.
BEN: We’ve only gone two feet in this speed, so go f**k one of those llama-like critters.
STORMIE 2: We do not allow such crude language here, I’m afraid we’ll have to sentence you to the guillotine…
STORMIE 1: Hey, Andy! Aren’t those the droids we’re supposed to be after?
STORMIE 2: Yah, but hold on a sec… Isn’t that the specially programmed trashcan that I saw in the recycling ad?
STORMIE 1: Yah! And that’s the tin man! Ooooooh I always wanted a robot like that ever since I saw The Wizard of Oz! (turns to C-3PO) Can you dance like the bloke in the movie?
C-3PO: I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations, and I am most certainly NOT made out of tin. I am not much more than an interpreter, and am not skilled in the arts of break dancing…
STORMIE 1: I don’t care. Can you do this?? (starts tap dancing before he gets overexcited and falls over in the dirt)
STORMIE 2: My friend here and I would like to purchase these droids. Will you give ‘em up for say… Twelve bucks?
BEN: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
STORMIE 2: Oh yes they are!
BEN: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for!
STORMIE 2: Yes they are! Come on; give ‘em up. You can’t win.
BEN: Look deep down inside and ask yourself; do I really need them?
STORMIE 2: Yes, deep down inside it says that I do need them. Now…
BEN: What will your conscience think?
STORMIE: I’ve had enough of you! (pulls out blaster rifle)
Horse that looks as if he just checked out of rehab decapitates one stormie
STORMIE 2: YRUICHAGGLYPOOOH AHHHH!!!!!!
and drags the other one off someplace to be eaten. Horse kisses Luke and shuffles off.
LUKE: How’d we get past those troops, I thought we were dead!
BEN: The Horse can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
LUKE: Smart Alec.
BEN: Moose Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
LUKE: Moose??
BEN: Yes, moose. You heard me.
LUKE: How’d it get its name?
BEN: You’ll find out when we get there.
A brief scene of some ancient automobile driving by some Jawas leading strange animals that look vaguely like drugged llamas with monkey behavior.
LUKE: Ben…
BEN: Yes I know, Imperial Stormtroopers. Don’t worry; we’ll get away.
Stomps down on the accelerator. After a few feet the back wheel flies off and trips an untidy looking bug-eyed horse. Stormies approach.
BEN: It’ll be alright. You just ignore them, young Luke
STORMIE 1: I’m sorry, but you have attempted to break the speed limit, we’ll have to ticket you.
BEN: We’ve only gone two feet in this speed, so go f**k one of those llama-like critters.
STORMIE 2: We do not allow such crude language here, I’m afraid we’ll have to sentence you to the guillotine…
STORMIE 1: Hey, Andy! Aren’t those the droids we’re supposed to be after?
STORMIE 2: Yah, but hold on a sec… Isn’t that the specially programmed trashcan that I saw in the recycling ad?
STORMIE 1: Yah! And that’s the tin man! Ooooooh I always wanted a robot like that ever since I saw The Wizard of Oz! (turns to C-3PO) Can you dance like the bloke in the movie?
C-3PO: I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations, and I am most certainly NOT made out of tin. I am not much more than an interpreter, and am not skilled in the arts of break dancing…
STORMIE 1: I don’t care. Can you do this?? (starts tap dancing before he gets overexcited and falls over in the dirt)
STORMIE 2: My friend here and I would like to purchase these droids. Will you give ‘em up for say… Twelve bucks?
BEN: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
STORMIE 2: Oh yes they are!
BEN: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for!
STORMIE 2: Yes they are! Come on; give ‘em up. You can’t win.
BEN: Look deep down inside and ask yourself; do I really need them?
STORMIE 2: Yes, deep down inside it says that I do need them. Now…
BEN: What will your conscience think?
STORMIE: I’ve had enough of you! (pulls out blaster rifle)
Horse that looks as if he just checked out of rehab decapitates one stormie
STORMIE 2: YRUICHAGGLYPOOOH AHHHH!!!!!!
and drags the other one off someplace to be eaten. Horse kisses Luke and shuffles off.
LUKE: How’d we get past those troops, I thought we were dead!
BEN: The Horse can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
LUKE: Smart Alec.