Setting: Imperial Star Destroyer, Vader's personal quarters. The dark lord sits perched over a keyboard, eyes glued to his computer's monitor. Suddenly his master, Emperor Palpatine walks in and approaches the other.

Emperor: Darth?

Vader: Oh! My master, you once again honor me with your divine pr--

Emperor: Knock it off. We're off duty.

Vader: Oh...right...

Emperor: Glancing at screen So, what you are working on?

Vader: Nothing much.

He points to the screen, revealing the familiar "Massassi Temple Forums" banner.

Emperor: Reading Interactive Story Board? You've got to be kidding.

Vader: Everyone needs a creative outlet.

Emperor: Oh, and I'm sure Shakespeare was launched into greatness after dwelving into a primeval stew of flame wars and 1337-speak.

Vader: Just leave me to my hobbies!

Emperor: rolling his eyes Sure, fine. Go ahead and type.

Awkward silence.

Emperor: Um...you're not typing.

Vader: THIS ISN'T EASY, OKAY?!?

Emperor: You've got writer's block. Don't you?

Vader: No...

Emperor: Do not try to cloud your feeling, my headstrong apprenti--

Vader: And you can cut out that fortune cookie crap! The last thing I need is that. ARRGH! Stupid words!

Emperor: Look, Darth. Forum posting isn't for everyone.

Vader: No! I have the knack! Check out my signature!

Emperor: Reading the screen "All your Rebel base are belong to us."

Vader: Get it?

Emperor: dry Yeah, really original.

Vader: Look, master. I know I have it in me. It's just that its so hard to be witty on these boards nowadays. You wouldn't believe what passes for humor online. Sadistic tacos and things dying and idiotic rantings about inanimate objects. How am I supposed to keep up?

Emperor: Don't worry, my friend. Moving his hands along the keyboard. Why don't we try something like this....

Return of the Jedi II: With alternet ending of course!

Han solo has been captured by Jabba the hutt who somehow manages to carry his several thousand pound body from place to place on 2 tiny legs. Luke skywalker decided to send a brave team of resque specialist (all the other main characters) to save poor solo. 3-CPO and R2-D2 after entering the building and passing customs (two pigs with the brains of low fat wood chips and a really ugly female of a species God forbid ever finds its way here) go before Jabba and realize they are now under his possetion because Luke was still holding a grudge on R2-D2 for running away in Episode IV. 3-CPO was sold because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.


[This message has been edited by Master_of_the_Sith (edited August 05, 2002).]

NSP: *ahem* Why not write for the NeS?

A tale of arguing siths on wonder who was better than who.

Setting: The hangar at naboo, all of the sith from all the movies and games have gathered, yet they dont know their differences.

Darth Maul: Okay, were all here because-
Jerec: We should destroy the jedi.
Darth Maul: Okaayyyy, we want to make---
Darth Vader: Chaos in every living thing!
Darth Maul: At last I will punch vader.
Sariss: Weres my recognition!?!?!
Darth Maul: It's----
Yun: Yeah Wheres mine too!?

(All argue about screaming about whos better than who and who deserves rcognition)

Darth Maul: SHUTTT UP!!!! Or I will kill you all!!!!
Jerec: Why dont you you red head?
Sariss: Shut up u drunkie
Yun: Shut up u girly puss for a dark jedi.

(All draw sabers and fight, while kyle and obi-wan watch over.)

Kyle: The sith cant help their anger.
Obi-Wan: Yeah, there soo crazy
Kyle: ooh did I just see sariss kill maul?
Obi-Wan: I think I saw Reborn kill desann.
Kyle: I think I gotta silence this battle, wanna help?
Obi-Wan: Sure with force lightning.

(Kyle and obiwan ZAP the bunch dead)

Kyle & Obi-Wan: We are the 1337 Jedi!
-END-

---------------------------------------------

"These are the droids we are looking for." "no they are not" "But they look like them in this picture" "These are not the droids!" "They look so familiar." Later....."What happen charlie?" "I found the droids I wasnt looking for."

^ A clip of Diary of a Crazed Mimbanite.

Return of the Jedi II continued...

Luke skywalker after arriving at Jabba's palace (dump), was immidiately cast into the Rancor Pit. Princess leah...leaiha..leiha.. whatever THE PRINCESS had forgoten to release Han Solo from Carbonite Freeze. This made for an awkward scene when, as we all know, they were about to be thrown into the pit of Carcoon. I mean it took 2 freakin skiff barges to lift Solo who ultimately fell into the pit in his frozen state because the script writters thought it would be easier to do than have THE PRINCESS trying to kiss him like that or have a romantic conversation. Plus R2-D2 and C-3PO never did much so they blew up with the sail barge. Luke did some fancy pretty-boy heroics and got the rest of the main and supporting characters onto a skiff that somehow managed to traverse space and make it to a Rebel command ship.

to be continued...

(The Emperor grinned, lifting his hands from the keys.)

Emperor: Ehh?

Vader: Hmmm...

Emperor: You don't like it.

Vader: No, no. It's okay. It's just...

Emperor: What? Just what?

Vader: Well, don't expect a lot of posts. That's all.

Emperor: What?!? Why not?

Vader: It's too predictable. "Let's make a Star Wars parody on a Star Wars website.' It's been done.

Emperor: All right, fine. I haven't failed you yet. What about THIS....

(He starts writing furiously, as sentances form across the screen.)

[This message has been edited by ComicKook (edited August 06, 2002).]

Dark forces II. Setting: Nar Shaddaa bar.

(Kyle is enjoying himself when a drunk jerec comes up beside of him)

Kyle: Whats up no eyes?

Jerec: Nothin much, just drinkin and killin'

Kyle: You want to go to the computer room amd post on massassi?

Jerec: Yah first let me slug dis quantum beer.

Kyle: (Laughs)

(Later, kyle and jerec make it to the computer room.)

Kyle: okay, now type the homepage for massassi.

Jerec: (Types the page in)

Kyle: okay register

Jerec: To what?

Kyle: Massassi!

Jerec: What for?

Kyle: Just register you idiot.

Jerec: How?

Kyle: See this? (points to the word register)
Click that, create a name and ur in.

(Jerec types name in and such, then goes to forums)

Kyle: Ur not ready for forum posting.

Jerec: Yes I am

Kyle: No u are not.

Jerec: Yes I am

Kyle: Download SBX will ya? I'm tired of having a 2d saber.

Jerec: So am i.

(Jerec clicks download on SBX-JK 3.1)

Jerec: okay its downloading........

Kyle: it is not.

Jerec: it is too.

(Kyle and jerec's sabers suddenly change looks)

Jerec: Now we can battle!

(Kyle and Jerec battle, and Kyle wins)

Kyle: His saber was still 2d......huh I broke his little saber.

--------------------------------------------
"." - Silent Man

the matrix rerite

M: School is a system Neo, and that system is our enemy. But when you're inside,
what do you see? Boys, girls, students, the very minds of the people we are trying
to save. But until we do they are still apart of that system, and that system is our
enemy."

[later on]

"M:It's another training program to teach you one thing, if you are not one of us, you are one of them."

"N: What are they?"

"M: Teachers, they can move in and out of any classroom that is still written in their lesson plans. Soon or later someone will have to fight them."
"N: Someone..."

"M: I will not lie to you Neo. Everyone student who has stood his ground against a teacher has gotten detention. But where they failed you will suceed."

"N: Why?"

"M: I have seen teachers grade tests, Students have studied for hours on end and still gotten F's on their tests. But there studies are still based in a world built on rules, because of that, they will never be as powerful as you can be."

"N: What are you saying, that I can study at the speed of light?"

"M: No neo, I'm sayin when you're ready, you won't have too."

-----------------------------------------------------
I heard this some where . i think not but I m not sure. (it might be an original idea,but I still have a hunch that I've heard it some where. oh well
if you wrote it (and am not just trying to screw me over) tell me and i'll delete this post.

Setting:Carbonite freezing chamber, Luke and Vader are battling when they notice the sabers are looking a little flat.
--------------------------------------------

Luke: Hold on vader........look at your saber.

Vader: Hmph, I can battle with a flat stick.

Luke: Our sabers will break.

Vader: Okay, u convinced me, lets go down in the chamber and get GotG.

(Both download)

Luke: The sabers are a little thick...

(Both download SBX)

Vader: I dont have a silver saber...yeesh

(Both download KWP)

Luke: Forget sabers, lets blast each other with these rifles.

Vader: Okay but I get gun no 3!

Luke: I'll be using gun no 9.

Vader: Uhhhh-oh.............

-END-

(The Emperor bursts out into a fit of laughter, reading the posts.)

Emperor: C'mon, admit it. THAT'S funny.

Vader: Well, sure. To you and me and whoever's a normal poster on these boards, but aren't there too many inside jokes for people who don't know about these games, or Star Wars itself.

Emperor: Come on. Who hasn't heard of Star Wars?

Vader: Uh...monkeys?

Emperor: Monkeys can't use computers.

Vader: Are you willing to take that chance?

Emperor: (Sighs.) Fine. What do you suggest?

Vader: Watch THIS...

(Vader types on the forums.)

------------------
"If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell your enemies."

did vader even read my post? did he?....diiiiid he?


/me sulks away




[This message has been edited by ENSIGN (edited August 13, 2002).]

Setting: Naboo Hangar, After obi-wan killed maul, he meets anakin in his fighter.
---------------------------------------------

Obiwan: What the heck is this?

Anakin: Some fighter....I think i did something bad at that big ship.

Obiwan: Are you kidding on that? you saved us all!

Anakin: I did?

Obiwan: Did what?

Anakin: Save us?

Obiwan: ????

Anakin: ????

(Stare blankly at each other for hours, when yoda and mace come down to the hangar to pluck them away from staredown)

Mace & Yoda: OBIWAN, ANAKIN WAKE UP!!!

Obiwan: Wha happened?

Anakin: I forgot what happened 30 minutes ago.

Mace: You went into a sticky staredown.

Yoda: And stuck were you? yes........

Mace: That is why we came.

Obiwan: Why do you need me? I'm using Qui-Gon's saber anyway...

Yoda: Need to talk..Meet at temple

Mace: Yoda says its important.

(Battle droid walks in...not seeing the 3 jedi)

Droid: UH-OH! (Runs)

Mace: I'll get that trade droid!

(Mace terminates the droid and runs back)

Anakin: I could make a new pod with these parts and....

Mace: The Naboo wont like it if you stripped their fighters for parts. Especially the queen.

(Mr Richoz walks in [SURPRISE!])

Mr Richoz: I'm just dilly dallyin around here....Who are you 4? A little boy...1 guy in tan robes...a green dude....and a black guy.

Anakin & obiwan & yoda & mace: Wrong topic mr richoz.

(Mr richoz walks out)

Obiwan: Okay, anakin, get out of that fighter, lets go see that surprise yoda has for me.

Emperor: Yeeesh!

Vader: What?

Emperor: Try to stay away from the the Mr. Richoz references. That's just asking for trouble.

Vader: Okay. There's too much SW-themed stuff anyhow.

Emperor: Except for that ENSIGN guy. That Matrix spoof was pretty good.

Vader: Matrix spoof?

Emperor: You didn't read the post, did you?

Vader: Uh...

(Clicks on screen. A message pops up.)



Vader: Whoops.

Emperor: Way to go.

Vader: So what? I'm a Sith lord. I'm used to hurting people's feelings.

Emperor: Hey! Listen here, Mister! The Dark Side is about domination of all inferior beings, NOT RUDENESS!

Vader: (Rolling his eyes.) Fine. I'll apologize.

(He types a quick apology.)

Emperor: There. Feel better about yourself?

Vader: (Sarcastically.) Yeah, I'm crying under this helmet.

Emperor: Shut up and post.

(He does.)

is this the end?

Hope not.

------------------
"If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell your enemies."

Setting: Docking Bay 94, Han and Luke get in an argument.

Han: This ship is mine, all mine.

Luke: Lando said you won it from him...so its his.

Han: Excuse me? I said that I uhh.......

Luke: Speechless? I thought so..in fact, I predicted that.

(Kyle katarn walks in and sees them two threating to kill each other and such)

Kyle: Whoa whoa whoa whoa Luke! What are you doing with that scumbag and that horrible looking ship?

Han: Who the heck are you??? Are you Dash?

Kyle: no, Dash looks a whole lot different from me.

Han: Well.....you remind me of him....

Luke: Han!!!!

Han: I mean...Dash died at skyhook....but I never found the remanents of his ship anywhere...no parts nothing.

Luke: HAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Han: What?

Luke: You won that thing from Lando right?

Kyle: Lando? He said nothing about the falcon when I was with him.

Luke: Kyle you met lando?

Kyle: Yeah...

Han: Hello!? Anybody here?

Kyle & Luke: no

Han: My gosh...ignorant

(Han goes away)

Kyle: What do you think of this.....this thing.

Luke: The falcon? Its a great ship....only Han makes it look like junk.

Kyle: You should have seen the crow after i crashed it...That was a piece of junk...but I can only imagine what happen to it...after defeating Jerec I was hijacking shuttles and such.

Luke: Oh.

Kyle: Lets get out of here before those weird..blocky....JK Stormtroopers get here.

(End of mission...or game)

Setting: Prisoner Camp on Hoth, Imperials are patrolling the area as usual when.....

Stormtrooper: I'm cold

Imp Commander: I am too but we cant leave this place.

Stormtrooper: Why not?

Imp Commander: The atmosphere is colder than this snow on the ground.

Stormtrooper: Yeah, and I'm al-l-l-l-most an ice-i-ice--icecle--un-un-der-er-er-r--this-is-is hel-el-el-mmmm-m-met

Imp Commander: I want a new uniform.....one warmer than this.......So darn cold....

(Dark Dingus comes in to tell the commander about something.

Dingus: My bucket tells me that this is no place for a camp.

Imp Commander: Your bucketheadness, I bow down to your shiny......bucketheadness.

Dingus: I remember when I was young people picked on me because I had a bucket for a head...they used to call me Mr. Buckethead

Stormtrooper: It's too....

(Stormtrooper freezes solid)

Dingus: I will never freeze for I have....

(Dingus' bucket freezes solid)

(Imperial Commander freezes solid)

(later, rebels come to the camp to find everything frozen in place)

Rebel 1: Okay....our old base has lots of frozen imperials, heh, the clothes they wear...no wonder

Rebel 2: Lets just blow up the froze imperials and get out of here.

Rebel 1: Okay.

NSP: I got a part of a jedi knight flag code for my name!

NSP: Snoogans.

------------------
"If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. If you didn't, tell your enemies."

[This message has been edited by ComicKook (edited August 14, 2002).]

Setting: Luke and C-3PO race in Luke's X-34 landspeeder to his home. While on the way.........

Luke: I wonder what has happened....

3PO: They might have been shot, captured by stormtroopers, killed by tuskens, sold off to jawas---

Luke: You may have a big mind 3PO, dont express Every opinion you have.

3PO: Sorry master.....I wonder how that arguing R2 is doing?

Luke: He's probably working on something, or just relaxing with Old Ben right now.

3PO: Oh My! I hate it when he wants to have Robo-S----

Luke: Not here 3PO. (Not on the forums anyway)

3PO: Sorry master.

Luke: Well, looks like were here.....

(Luke runs into something paying attention to his home.)

Luke: I hit my T-16! Now I will have to repair it....oh wait. (Does the usual lines in A New Hope)

(Luke turns around in his speeder and heads back...totally in shock)

Luke: T-t-t-t-t-hey we-rer-e-re--r killed-d-d-d.

3PO: Right master luke.

hmmmmmmm

yum

I got kinda bored, so here goes


---------------------------------------------
setting: a bar on nar shadaa...
---------------------------------------------

~Kyle walks in~

rodian-*in rodian* “hey look tescauno it's the old nerf herder himself”

rodian 2-“yeah... the old bugger, still gettin' around, old age and all”

Kyle-“Watch it punks....I'm not old”

rodian-*basic* “What's this i see....? GRAY HAIRS YOU MORON!”

~Kyle slings out his bryar and.....dang it's the jk bryar, too freakin' big to hold, and he drops it on the floor~

rodian-"Ha ha ha, human fool, you'll have to leave that out here, NOT THAT I NEEDED TO TELL YOU!"

Kyle-*grumbles*

~Kyle walks into the bar.~

Weequay-“hey....you wanna buy some deadbeats?”

Kyle-"um.......deadbeats?"

Weequay-"yah, the kind that hang around askin' you for money and such...."

Kyle-"You don't want to sell me deadbeats"

Weequay-"I don't want to sell you deadbeats"

~The weequay, a career alchoholic, stares blankly at Kyle~

Kyle-"You want to go home and rethink your life"

Weequay-*in a daze* "I want to go over to the bar, and but another lomin-ale...!#$!"

Kyle-"whatever"

~Kyle walks over to the dueling ring, but to his dismay the bets are only on small mine monsters..... not very pretty, and not good sport~

Kyle-“I’ll put two credits on the uh……the uh……ugly one”

Gran-“gnyorsh dagd dee wkthsoof, moasghko da veeshdtheek…”

Rodian-“Shut up Swee Beeps”

Kyle-*ahe he he hemm*

~The Rodian looks up uninterestedly, and sighs~

Rodian-“Look pal, you don’t need to be interfering with our bettin’ here…”

Kyle-“What? I just want to participate”

Gran-“you think we’d just sit here and let you dupe us with the force”

Kyle-“uhm ******* aaaaaaaghhhhhh ******* //ingame voice clips take over\\ “I wouldn’t want to attract any attention…”

~The rodian and gran stare in surprise~

Rodian-“ah well whatever…..the bartender wants to see ya, says something about how you hurt him……?”

Kyle-“ah….well, ok, we’ll see about that”

~Kyle walks over the bar, hopping around madly and repeating ‘I better try not to attract too much attention’ until the bartender yells~

Bartender-“Noble Jedis!”

~Silence from Kyle~

Bartender-“Noble! Jedis!”

~Kyle continues hopping, trying to use force, and trying to bring out his weapons to no avail~

Bartender-“NOBLE JEDIS!”

~The bartender throws a glass of Ruby Bliels into Kyle’s faces, and Kyle turns~

Kyle-“I’m sorry did you say something?”

Bartender-“Ah….captain Katarn….what a pleasure it is to finally meet the man who killed my brother”

Kyle-(rolls eyes) “Whatever, listen, I need information”

Bartender-(rage) “information! INFORMATION! Is that what you killed him for! INFORMATION?”

Kyle-“Look pal, I’ve killed lotsa-”

~The Bartender takes a swig of kyle’s correlian whiskey, and then slams Kyle’s sab on the bar~

Bartender-“Familiar yes? I learned it from your dead pal Boc”

~This said, the Bartender slams the glass down on the sab, shattering the mug into a thousand million billion sixty seven point eighty million pieces, one of which lodges into the saber’s crystal, effectively destroying the weapon~

Kyle-“HEY WHATS THE big IDEA! That was my best sab!”

````````````POSTER’S NOTE````````````````

ever wonder how, after losing rahn’s green sab to yun, then borrowing yun’s yellow one in jk, why he bothered to make a new blue one? Even when the box and manual say he gave up the force forever?! Why would he make a new sab just to give it to Luke?!?!?!

```````````````````````````````````````````````````

Bartender-“Do you remember when you and 8t88 had that talk so many years ago in that cantina?”

Kyle-“How could I forget”

Bartender-“Well it was there, you killed my brother and fellow bartender!”

Kyle-“uh…..you mean that old dude…..who said I was causing trouble? He got what he deserved for not warning me about those Gran”

Bartender-“ oh, maybe that’s true, but the Gall , THE SHEER POISONOUS gall to kill him by latching a rail charge onto his head!!!!?!?!?!?!”

Kyle-“uh…..well I was sorta bored”

Bartender-“hmm…..bored eh? Well let me tell you something wise guy!”

Kyle-“I’m no wise guy, just a Jedi with a lightsaber”

Bartender-“ WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT PUNK!”

~The bartender whirls, pressing a button that locks down the bar, unfortunately, he left his other correlian ale on the counter. This wouldn’t have been too bad, except for the fact that it splintered into a hundred thousand million pieces plus infinity times two, and one managed to lodge itself into his heart, effectively destroying him….~


~~~~~~~~~~~FINISH``````````````FINISH~~~~~~~~~

this story was not made, in part or full, or supported in any way by Lucasarts Entertainment Company.

All player names and references to Star Wars were written by me and if you don’t like that GEORGE!, well tooooooooo bad…..

---------------------------------------------
opusäâã


-opus

[On the New Republic Flagship Home One]


--------bridge----------

admiral ackbar-"ensign!"

ENSIGN-*silence*

admiral ackbar-"AHEM.....ensign?"

ENSIGN-*ignores*

admiral ackbar-"ENSIGN!"

ENSIGN-"yessir?"

admiral ackbar-"what took so long?!?"

ENSIGN-"sir....you uh.....forgot to make my name all caps.."

admiral ackbar-"what? you'll pay for your insolence, fool!"

ENSIGN-"what?!?"

(ackbar turns, furious, and grabs his blaster)

(ENSIGN screams, and ducks into the garbage chute, not because of the blaster (which his patented monkey fur vest can block), but because vadergator walked onto the bridge at that exact moment!)

Vadergator-"You incompetent fool! I tell you to distract him, and you can't even keep him here for five minutes!"

Ackbar-"s-s-sorry, your worship"

Vadergator-"You confuse me with that bungling princess! I don't need your worship, only your money!"

Ackbar-"Monkey?"

Vadergator-"RAAAAAAAGHGGH!"

Ackbar-"......money?"

Vadergator-"YES!!!!!"

Ackbar-"w......wh..what do you need money for?"

Vadergator-"Why to get revenge on that bumbling xizor of course!"

Ackbar-"But sir, he's dead, you blew his **** skyhook out of the air"


Vadergator-"RAAAAGGHRHR!"

(vader charges down the chute, trying to find ensign, i mean ENSIGN)


(meanwhile on the bridge)

Ackbar-"dang.....that guy is spooky...."

(door opens from command chamber)

Ackbar-"Who?..........ack!"

(A figure clad in white garb, blue skin and red eyes steps onto the bridge)

Thrawn-(who bears striking resemblance to thrawn 42689) "Where r teh lord vader?"

Ackbar-"he r in teh....i mean he followed ensign-"

Thrawn-"What?!?!"

Ackbar-"he followed ensign-"

Thrawn-"Who?!?!?"

Ackbar-"OOPS.....i uh....sorry sir i meant...well, ENSIGN"

Thrawn-"pitiful alien scum, teh empire was wrong to work wit you..."

Ackbar-"but sir...you're a....i mean..."

Thrawn-"SILENCE!"

Ackbar-"very well sir...."

(Thrawn stares daggers at Ackbar, and unfortunately they pierce his heart...)

Ackbar-"AH.....augugghgiehg.......no...wait!"

Thrawn-"what?"

Ackbar-"tther is....ther is.....

Thrawn-"ter r what?"

Ackbar-"ther...there is anothe....another..chiks;sssssss;skjssss"

Thrawn-"another chiss?"

Thrawn-"hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

---------------Garbage heap------------

Vadergator-"you cannot hide forever ENSIGN"

ENSIGN-*silence*

Vadergator-"you feelings betray you....i know you have to go, you have to go pee bad....how much longer can you stay hidden before you........POP!"

ENSIGN-"oof!"

Vadergator-"Well....if you wont come out....maybe 'ensign' WILL!!!!"

ENSIGN-"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! not my name wrong, not again never again imgonnakillyouyoufoolishexcuseforadarkjedi!!!"

(ENSIGN charges out, armed with a fistful of sludge)

ENSIGN-"aaaaaaieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

(ENSIGN hurls the sludge, catching vader unawares)

(vadergator swings his lightsaber, slicing the chunk of sludge in half)

Vadergator-"ha--!"

(is all he manages to get out before you chunk he cut down, now the perfect size, slides into his respirator and clogs his mask)

.......(he cant breath)

(he falls down, and his suit disentigrates in the acid)

(an......an alligator crawls out, running up the garbage chute, and bites admiral ackbar in two)

ENSIGN-"sigh"

-----------bridge----------

Ackbar-"ahhh! AHREHHRHGHGI! my FACE!"

(ackbar bites the dust)

Thrawn-"HA ha ha HA HA HAHA!!! it r teh dead fish-head!"

------garbage heap---------

ENSIGN-"what now? there's no where to run"

*a small scuttling noise in the corner*

ENSIGN-"hey! who's there!?"

(a small mouse droid rolls out....with the name [OPUS] printed on the back"

ENSIGN-"a droid.....maybe it can guide me to upper levels"

[OPUS]-[meh]....[whizz whirp bang]

ENSIGN-"riiiiiiiggggghtt........."

-------bridge----------

Thrawn-"guards! send a detail to search for teh ENSIGN, and get tis creature away!"

*ex vader*gator-*silence*

(a small panel opens near the floor)

*ex vader*gator-"hmmm?"

(a mouse droid screams onto the bridge, latches down with magnetic grappler, and fires a rocket into the viewport)

Thrawn-"aaaaaaaaehgh!!!!!"

(thrawn bit the dust)

*ex vader*gator-"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaghgh"

(vadergator lathces onto the floor with teeth and claws)

[OPUS]-[ha ha ha]

(the mouse droid repairs the hole)

ENSIGN-"whoa...."

(ENSIGN stands over vader....with vaders sab)

Vader-"uh....."

ENSIGN-"I want off the ship now"

Vadergator-"i'll do one better, joint owner ship of this SSD-"

ENSIGN-"what??!?!? this is the Home One, didnt you read the top?"

Vadergator-"well......no"

ENSIGN-"idiot"

Vadergator-"fine, i'll let you have this ship......as long as you make me a new suit"

ENSIGN-"hmmmmmm......deal"

(as the mouse droid, [OPUS], rolls into the middle of the room and starts beeping for countdown....the two realize its a modified IG-88 model!)

Vader-"aaaaaaaaggggghh! assassin!"

ENSIGN-"droid!"

([OPUS] fires wildly in every direction with the same rockets he blew out the viewport with)

(Vadergator bit the dust)

(ENSIGN bit the dust)


[OPUS]-"meh!"


(with no pilot, the home one wildly careens to one side as it hits the dead body or Thrawn)

(It slams into the third death star)


****** did i mention the third death star?*******


well now you know why you never heard about it

([OPUS] bites the dust)

(the Home One bites the dust)

(The death star bites the dust)

----------Yavin 4----------


Kyle Katarn-"Master Luke....i sense a disturbance in the force........"

Luke-"hmmm.....me too... feels like a fight"

Kyle Katarn-"maybe just some of our agents in the field.....btw whats the latest update from ENSIGN and OPUS's mission?"

Luke-"dunno....ill check after today's excersises"

---------------FINISH----------------


- PUS

i'm starting to think i got a knack for these nonsensical things

- PUS

hmmm......!

in case you are wondering, the 'other chiss'

was the bartender who died in the previous story......

btw.....vader.....*speaks to fictional character typed by comicook

vader, what do you mean by 'all your rebel base are belong to us?'

whats that from?

sorry, i don't get it

==Setting:The Battle of Hoth, two imperial pilots named Johnny and Imperial Dude in an ATAT talk inside the cockpit.==

Imperial Dude: What's this battle 4 anyway?

Johnny: Just to test out our new strategy for beating the rebels at ground assault.

Imperial Dude: I thought this waz a battle.

Johnny: Well you are certianly wrong, FIRE THE BLASTERS!

( Blasters fire and hit a snowspeeder that goes down in flames. )

Johnny: Good shot.

Imperial Dude: Thanx.

Johnny: I must note your mispelling of your words, you should use for instead of 4, was instead of waz, and thanks instead of thanx.

Imperial Dude: What???

Johnny: Just move this big noisy thing.

( Silence for a few moments... )

Johnny: Man, you move this thing too slow, look, that AT-AT is already ahead of us, just fire the guns at the speeders and we can go....

( Suddenly the AT-AT falls down... )

Johnny: Great....what a time to fall.

Imperial Dude: Letz get outa here!!!

-End-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Takes saber, makes 2 slashes on the wall that form a V, signifying the presence of IA_D_Vadergator.

Setting: Home One Imperials and rebel want to sign a peace treaty...I cant tell you what happens.

Imperial Commander: Okay, shall we start?

Admiral Ackbar: Yes we shall

Imperial Commander: *Clears throat* ahem, ensign.

*Silence*
Imperial Commander: ensign...
*more silence*
Imperial Commander: ENSIGN.

ENSIGN: Yes sir?

Imperial Commander: Why didnt you anwser me when I called you?

ENSIGN: You forgot to put my name in all caps.

Imperial Commander: okay......comickook.

*silence*

Imperial Commander: ComicKooK

ComicKooK: Sorry sir, you didnt use the caps right.

Imperial Commander: Doh just forget this treaty! ia_d_vadergator kill them!

*silence*

Imperial Commander: IA!

*silence, imperial commander fires blaster, I draw my lightsaber and deflect that shot*

Imperial Commander: RARRRRGH I hate rebels, theyre just sooo specific.

Ackbar: Make sure rebels is spelled like this imperial "REBELS OWN US"

Imperial Commander: okay soo...REBELS OWN US.............HEY!!!!!

--Big battle begins on ship, then moves to space.--

-=End=-