As suggested by this thread, we shall officially have our own Soap Opera.

Introduce your character and then we'll go from there...

Sarn squinted as the boat pulled slowly up to the dock. It had been a hard day of shrimping. Sweat glistened off his body and his muscles rippled as he moved. His sandy blond hair waved in the breeze. On the dock, he could see sailors and fishermen going about their daily tasks.

Just as the boat was coming to a stop, Sarn's eyes fell upon something rather out of place in the grungy hustle and bustle of the docks. A beautiful woman in a yellow sundress was standing with her arms crossed staring out to sea. With a shock, Sarn realized she was staring at him. He stepped down onto the dock, and the woman approached him.

"Can I help you with anything?" Sarn asked her.
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Ok... Now create your intro. I expect them to be incredibly cliched.

[This message has been edited by Sarn_Cadrill (edited September 26, 2002).]

Just as she was about to answer, a young lad named Flexor fell from a crane and squashed Sarn.

Then, GBK took a shovel and scraped bolth corpses into the water. Turning to the woman, he said "Can I help you?"

(I can see this turning into a horror story rather than a soap)

[This message has been edited by Flexor (edited September 26, 2002).]

Ford, realising he was named after a car, and incredibly good looking actor, and a being from a planet near Betelgeuse, decides to approach the woman as well.

The beautiful woman carries a handbag, which she has only because it looks good. Unbeknownst (always wanted to use that word) to anyone, especially her, there lives in that handbag a small furry creature (tm) from alpha centauri, named Silence. It squeeks when aroused, but elsewise lives up to it's name.

At this very moment, it is enjoying the warmth of the handbag, and wondering when the woman will absentmindedly set the bag down again and leave the room, so that Silence can emerge, and devour cats.

It does not realize that the woman is outside, and would be rather perturbed if it did.

[This message has been edited by silence (edited September 26, 2002).]

Heeb calls Ford on the phone, telling him his family has a major emergency. Heeb then uses the greatest pickup line of all..

..."Do you work for UPS? Cuz I coulda SWORN you were checkin' out my package!"

Heeb is horrified as the "woman" turns around, revealing...TheOtter!, which was a really big surprise, considering that he hasn't "really" been around for about 3 years now...

"I'm not a woman!" Otter said in a British voice similar to someone from a certain Monty Python movie.

"Then why are you wearing a dress?" GBK asked?

"I like to feel pretty at times too!" Otter replied.

"He's an ISB-er," Heeb whispered to GBK.

"Oooohhh..."

"Now to reach into my handbag..." theOtter began, digging through his black Mary Poppins-esque handbag with a red cross on it. "--Hey, where did my M&M's go?" Unknown to him, Silence is now a content little creature.

Just then, Gebohq enters the scene, yelling at Ford and Otter.

"Hey all!" Geb said, surveying the scene.

(NSP: Hmm, could this be the start of regular Massassians posting in the ISB? I wonder...)

------------------
C

Ford walks up to Geb smoking a cig. his eyes are red,with heavy bags under them, his usual neat ponytail is mostly down around his face. needless to say he looks deparate.

"Hey, man..." he says, looking shiftily. "When you gonna post for NeS, man? I need my fix. I neeeeeeeed it. I can't write anymore until i get my fix...NeS...Gaughl...NeS...Ne.."

Ford collapses into a heap at Geb's feet.

Geb looks down and says, "Riiiiight..."

Sarn climbed out of the water back onto the dock. "Geb!" he cries. "My long lost twin! Come back with me to Tenesee! Our mother is deathly ill. She could die at any moment!"

Roy, who's secret identity is special agent Correction from the GIS (goobers investigative specialists) seems to materialize from nowhere, watching sarn..

suddenly, the american who fanes a foreign accent and seems to fluxuate between spanish and french named Yecti walks briskly to the dock, taps SRAN on teh shoulder and points a gun at his stomach "make MaDa give me admin access to The Limelite, or you'll be short an apendix... and nobody will be able to find ANY of those complex definitions that aren't in the dictionary!"

------------------
-=Still Yecti... Still the Wang... just 1337 posts later... Still the same...=-
1337Yectiwan
Got Indie Music?

then Phoenix starts singing Sk8er Boi and get shot in the head by a automatic shotgun

The shotgun belonged to Zell, who in turn got...

(NSP: Hmm...to try and make an actual plot out of this thread or not. Hmmmm...)

(NSP: i would, but...Non ISB-massassians+ISB story |= well thought out plot. as you know most of them are used to things like word association, and the few three word stories that got closed.)

(NSP: OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE ... etc.)

Sarn ignores the others and prods Geb. "Come on, Geb. Our mother's not getting any younger, you know."

But Sarn was wrong. She was indeed getting younger, due to the new revolutionary YouthShake(TM), invented, of course, by the brilliant Dr.Flexor who previousely fell from a crane.

Outta no where, The extremly handsom and intelligent Shadow89 comes up and notices a dead body on the ground that is holding a YouthShake(TM). Shadow89 picks up the head of the victim and to his horror sees it's flexor.

"WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!" Shadow89 Yells.

Yecti, who is still tapping Sarn on teh sholder turns at Shadow89.

"Shut UP!"

Yecti Fires two shots at Shadow89. Shadow89 notices that his bullet time guage is full. He puts on Max Paynes face and pulls out two barettas. He does a side dodge and dodges Yecti's bullets. In responce Shadow89....

[This message has been edited by Shadow89 (edited September 30, 2002).]

(NSP: Bah, you can't go killing off brilliant DoctorS!!~! Don't you ever watch soap operas? Then again...)

Sarn approached Dr. Flexor and took his pulse. "He's not dead! He's in a coma!" Just then, Gebohq ran up to Sarn and breathlessly exclaimed, "Brother! Our dear mother's YouthShake has broken! Take me to Dr. Flexor so I can have him fix it! It's a mattert of life and death."

Sarn looked up at Geb, and replied, "My dear brother, Dr. Flexor seems to have fallen into a coma."

Geb moaned. "No! She's the only one who knows where to get proof of what's been going on at YectiCorp! Yecti could go free!"

Everyone turned to Yecti. "What?" Yecti asked innocently. "I deny everything. Those babies were born with three heads. YectiCorp's chemical testing had nothing to do with it, and you can't prove otherwise!" Yecti muttered to himself, "especially thanks to my trusty paper shredder." Yecti looked straight into Sarn's eyes portraying a look of pure evil, "And now if you'll excuse me, I've got some chemicals to put on the market." Yecti sauntered off.

EL3CTRO groaned as he turned in his bed, the light from the nearby window hurt his eyes.

Moving his gaze over to the clock something was wrong.. 54:21? 'Don't clock's usualy go up to 12?' he thought?

Moving back to his sleeping posistion he suddenly figured it out... 12:45! He was late.

30 minutes later, he downed a coffee and stumbed onto the set of the massassi soap opera.

"Hey guy's sorry im late!" Yelled L3CY.

"shhhh" Said Yecti "You're ruining my moment!" he muttered as he moved away

L3CY's mind clicked and realised he was being filmed

He stuttered, and finnaly blurred out "Uhh, Drinks on the house at L3CY's Bar and Grill"

Geb looked at him utterly horrified. "Dr. Flexor has just fallen into a coma and all you can do is offer free drinks?!"

meanwhile, Ford is still twitching on the floor from NeS withdrawl.

(NSP: Stupid school-work swarming on me like Trekkies on Seven-of-Nine...sorry, but for now, all I have time for is to offer a title to this thread:

General Discussion Hosiptal[/b]

or

As the Forum Turns[/b]

or

All My Massassians

/shrug/

And don'tcha worry, Ford. I'll be posting when I get the chance...stupid school...)

Just then, an ambulance wailed its way up to the scene, and from out of the driver's side door hopped a rather short, hairy paramedic with a bushy red beard.

"Let Krig through, let Krig through!" the paramedic shouted, even though there was no-one between him and the unconcious Dr. Flexor. He rushed over to the comatose doctor and listened to him with a stethescope.

"Ugh big doctor need blood transfusion, or he die bad!" the paramedic shouted wildly.

"He can have my blood!" L3CY cried, trying to save face after that embarrasing 'Bar and Grill' incident. "But I'm type E-negative, will it match?"

"We find out," the grizzled paramedic growled.

As Krig and L3CY dragged Dr. Flexor toward the ambulance, the twins Gebohq and Sarn followed behind them.

"Say, who called the ambulance?" Gebohq asked suddenly. Sarn stopped in his tracks.

"I... I don't know!" Sarn said. "It's a... It's a mystery!"

------------------
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." --Mark Twain

Sarn turned to Geb. "Wait, did you notice how short an hairy that guy was? That was no paramedic! That was a VIKING from YectiCorp! We've got to stop him!"

Just then a man with a thick russian accent stepped out of the shadows. "You'll go nowhere, Mr. Wildmann"

Sarn stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. "You! What are you doing here? I thought you were dead! And I'm no longer Wildmann. I turned from that path long ago."

The man laughed evilly. "Ha, you may think you have turned from that path, but in fact the consequences of your past life are only just now catching up to you. Meet me here at the docks at midnight. Come alone. It would be in your best interest to comply." The man dropped a small canister on the ground and smoke rose up from it in a puff. When the smoke cleared, the man was gone.

Geb looked at Sarn and asked, "Who was that masked man, anyway?"

"Uhh, wrong story, Geb," Sarn pointed out, "And he is ... was an old accquaintance of mine. His name is Nomen, Sine Nomen. I haven't seen him in years... Not since..." Sarn's voice trailed off.

buck, out of nowhere, pulled up in his dodge viper.


"not since the dissappearance of the kedri....."



[This message has been edited by mscbuck (edited October 02, 2002).]

(NSP bah, you weren't supposed to finish that. Some things must be shrouded in mystery!)

Meanwhile, the sun was setting over Chateau Slugworth. Master Slugworth had made his first million at twenty and his twentieth by thirty, making him impeccably rich, and the manor's decor reflected this. Slugworth himself was neatly dressed as befitting of a hotshot businessman, his cufflinks pure gold, his suit Armani, his hair slicked back in the Steve Buscemi look so popular with the ladies these days.

Despite his immeasurable wealth and comfortable surroundings, a dark cloud hung over Slugworth's head. Anger roiled through his mind like a tropical storm, though he hid his feelings well. The only visible indicator of his mood being his french wine glass, which he gripped too tightly.

A buzzer sounded, and the intercom's mechanical voice piped up. "Sir, the count has arrived." It was Alfred, Slugworth's quintessential butler.

"Send him in, Alfred," said Slugworth as he mentally composed himself.

The massive oaken doors cracked open, casting shadows about the study. A man entered, his coattails flapping, moving with the rapid grace of one accustomed to high society. The monacle on his left eye and the ivory cane keeping pace with his legs added to the distinguished air about him. It was Count Von Zuljin.


[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 05, 2002).]

"Ah, Slugworth, so good to see you," mewed Von Zuljin. His silken voice matched his movements.

"Likewise, count. Would you care for a drink?"

Slugworth detested being cordial with Von Zuljin, but he was left with little choice. The farce had to be played out. Slugworth rang for Alfred, and ordered a martini for the count.

Von Zuljin adjusted his monacle and began to speak, "I believe you know why I'm here, Slugworth."

"Actually, I haven't the slightest idea why you have deigned to grace me with your presence," responded Slugworth, although he knew very well why Von Zuljin had come.
The two stared each other down. Alfred arrived with the martini.

Slugworth broke the silence. "Very good, Alfred," he nodded to the butler, "Now then, Count Von Zuljin, I'm well aware of the situation between us, but I am not interested in playing games, so unless you care be sufficiently plain -"

In a rage, Von Zuljin hurled his drink at Slugworth, its contents soaking into the expensive fabric. Except for the olive, which bounced off of Slugworth's forehead.

"Sufficiently plain?" Hollared Von Zuljin, "I challenge you to a duel! Is that sufficiently plain?"

Briefly taken aback, Slugworth responded by dumping his beverage upon the count.

"I accept the challenge, you cretin. Will it be pistols at dawn, or shall I have Alfred fetch my rapier?" He gestured towards an old-style sword mounted above the study's bookshelf. "Or prehaps you would prefer fisticuffs, which I imagine a man of your questionable parentage would be well acquainted with."

Von Zuljin's ears turned bright pink at the insult. "Prepare yourself, good sir, prepare yourself!" And with that, he stormed out of the study in such a state that he forgot to retrieve his monocle, which had been knocked off by a flying olive.

Slugworth relaxed in a plush chair, proud that he had not given and ground to the obnoxious count, nor lost his cool during the encounter. He reached over, activated the intercom, and told Alfred to retrieve his pistol.

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 05, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 05, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 05, 2002).]

(NSP: shouldnt this be in a format similar to NeS? becuase it is a soap opera, and therefore would have a script, and this here would be such a script. i dunno, just throwing out ideas.)

Meanwhile, darkness had fallen over the docks. A light mist still hung about wafting off the water. A late-model Cadillac pulled to a stop nxt to the docks. Sarn climbed out of the passanger seat, and the Cadillac drove off. "Sine? Are you here?" Sarn called out. He stepped forward glancing about nervously.

"That's far enough."

Sarn whirled around. Sine had stepped from behind a crate, and now stood holding a gun at his waist aimed at Sarn. "What do you want?" Sarn asked him.

Meanwhile, things were heating up back at the television studio. Gebohq, armed with the knowledge of Krig's true identity, hopped into his Pointiac Firebird and gunned the engine, intent on rescuing the good doctor.

Realizing that his carefully prepared plans were about to be unravelled by that upstart hero Gebohq, Yectiwan sprang into action. He knew that if Doctor Flexor was revived, he would in turn revive Mrs. Ohq-Cadrill, who was a character witness in the YectiCorp antitrust suit. Or something. In any case, Yecti reached out and grabbed hold of the Firebird's rear spoiler just as Gebohq put the pedal to the metal, sending the car lurching foreward.

Ford stumbled about the streets, trying to find his way through the kaliadeoscopic bombardment of sensory information. Colours bloomed in his vision, and loud music blared in his ears. His limbs flailed about as though they were independant entities. Unable to make heads or tails of the world around him due to his drug-induced stupor, Ford staggered into an intersection, completely oblivious to the danger approaching him at breakneck speed.

After being dragged for several hundred feet, Yectiwan had pulled himself up onto the Firebird's roof and in through the T-top sunroof. It had been a tight squeeze, but Yecti had made it in and was now grappling with Gebohq for control of the car, which hurtled down the street more or less of its own volition.

Ford never even saw it coming, because he was stoned out of his mind on the crack cocaine. Or suffering from with withdrawl. Either way, he was hit head-on by the Firebird, his body arcing gracefully through the air before landing with a sickening splat. He lay there like a broken doll, only dimly aware of what had just happened...

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 07, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 07, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited October 07, 2002).]

IA_D_Vadergator walks up to Ford and says, "Are you okay? You look like a busted doll." Ford says "Daaaaaaah its nothin, this aint pain! this is the life!" Vadergator thought, Wait a minute, this guy is suspicious enjoying his pain........IS THIS GUY DRUNK? "Are you drunk?" Vadergator said, "No, i'm just lovin and livin large." Ford said. "Well, you could be another Found On Road Dead if you dont get medical attention soon, besides, its critical, YOUR BRAIN IS DAMAGED." Vadergator said.

(NSP: Okay time for the sappy Hospital part of a soap. Where some people are all doom thinkin Ford is gonna die, some people will think the car manufacturer is dieing due to low funding.....BUT THATS NOT POSSIBLE)

Ford glanced up suddenly full of dread. "I had something important to tell someone. Now I can't remember! I've got AMNESIA!"

*doo doo DOOM*

Ford blinked again. "whats amnesia? where am i? who are all you people? and most importantly, what the hell is this monkey doing gnawing on my foot?!?!"

MadQuack looked embarassed, and stopped chewing on fords foot. "Sorry"

This thread seems to be broken...

...or not.

Ford was quickly rushed to the hospital.

Meanwhile, back at the docks, Sarn and Sine were conversing quietly, Sine's gun still calmly pointed at Sarn's chest.

"The fact is, Sarn, we need you for another mission. I am merely a messenger. The other agent was supposed to meet us here, and now he hasn't shown up. He's got all your access codes and contacts."

Sarn shuddered. "You know I've moved beyond that. I don't do that kind of thing anymore."

Sine smiled mysteriously and said, "Oh I think you'd take this one. It's got ... personal connections involved."

"Who?!"

"Oh a lovely young woman by the name of Triste."

"What are you talking about? What's she got to do with this?" Sarn demanded.

Sine suddenly looked depleted, "I.. don't know, except that she's gone missing. The other agent was supposed to have the details, and now he's not here..."

"Who was this other agent," Sarn asked.

Sine responded, "His code name was Ford."
--------

Meanwhile, Ford was submitted to the hospital as a John Doe, as he had no identification on him, and no one knew exactly who he was.

--------

Back at YectiCorp, a beautiful woman was sitting bound and gagged at the foot of Yecti's desk. Yecti was seated at the desk smiling cruelly at her. "Now my plan is almost complete. Soon, Sarn will have no one to confirm his story, and I will gain control! MUAhahahhaaahaaa- hack *cough*

"... Ahem. Take her away boys. Place her in the dungeon" Two very large black men in sunglasses and tight black shirts picked up the struggling woman and carried her away.

The false call about Sarn's mother was enough to prevent him from waiting any longer. He told Sine that'd he keep him updated. Sine stands waiting at the dock and wonders if there could be any connection between the missing girl and Sarn's mother. But he accepts it as just coincidence. A few moments later he here's a loud explosion from the direction of Sarn's car, but Sarn is no where to be seen...

[This message has been edited by smv0 (edited October 09, 2002).]