A new song I just wrote. Enjoy. Warning: This song may offend some, but it is not meant to offend anyone, just be funny.

Jesus Loves You

This is the story about my life,
I never had no kids, and I never had a wife.
At the age of eighteen I was stuck in jail
Didn't have no friends, so I couldn't pay the bail.
My father always told me just to follow the lord,
But I didn't like church, 'cause it made me bored.

Jesus loves you, but he hates me,
And I'll burn in hell for eternity.

I was born religious but now I'm a teen,
And being religious just isn't keen.
I make fun of the Jews and I hate the Blacks,
I kick homeless people and I cheat on my tax.
The Pagans and sinners can't be forgiven,
I'll never get to chill with Jesus in heaven.

Because, Jesus loves you, but he hates me,
And I'll surely burn in hell for eternity.

So now I'm all grown up and I've learned my lesson,
I was a bad kid so I went to confession.
The priest said to me "Let the lord be with you"
But I spat in his face and I told him to screw.

So that's why, Jesus loves you, but he hates me,
And I'll surely burn in hell for all eternity.

Every time I tried to be good, I'd end up being bad,
Now I wish I'd taken the advice from my dad.
But now it's to late, and it's easy to tell,
That I won't go to heaven, but I'll go straight to hell,

Because, Jesus loves you, but he hates me,
And I'll surely burn in hell for eternity.

Because, Jesus loves you, but he hates me,
And I'll surely burn in hell for eternity.

Eternity, Eternity, Eternity…

Nice job!
Sounds like something Morrissey might do, or perhaps the Dead Milkmen.

It also reminds me a little of the chorus to Silo Lullabye by Toad the Wet Sprocket:
Goodnight, don't fear
I always will watch over you my dear
Goodnight, sleep well
I'll see you with the rest of them in hell

I prefer Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs Robinson".

neato

That should be a rap... just because I said so.

I prefer the Lemonheads' version!