of some song lyrics. Just came to me while in the shower earlier, so I typed it dwon real quick. I have a vague idea of how the music would go along with it, but since this will probably never amout to anything it probably doesn't much matter.

Anyway, what do you think?

verse:
I don't deserve this
I'm so worthless
I will never amount to anything
That's what you told me
Each time you'd scold me
But I'm not gonna listen anymore

chorus:
All my life, I've tried to please you.
I won't do that anymore
Things inside I've tried to hide (but)
I won't hide them anymore

verse:
You never hit me
But you abused me
Now I won't take it from you anymore
I'm on my own now
Have my own home now
So I don't need to take it from you now

some lyrics remind of the way I felt about a certain someone...

I think they're quite good, but really need to hear the lyrics in a song.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

angsty

Yeah, very emo. Almost whiny, it really depends on how you mean it to be sung.

yeah.. The way I have it in my mind it is kinda whiney.. A bit too much actually, so I'm gonna try and see if I can work out an arrangement for it, and hopefully one that minimizes the whineyness.

The lyrics are good, but I don't really see the appeal to writing songs that are so angsty Why not instead try some stuff like...

We broke up on friday,
And no, you're not missed.
Things are finally my way,
And I'm really not pissed.
You laughed at my dreams,
But who's laughing now?
I'm best without you,
And you know that it's true!

So, cry, cry, cry,
You sad little girl
You thought you'd get by
By ruling my world.
But, oh you were wrong,
And here is the song
That I promised you so long ago.

Agreed. VERY emo.

Unfortunately, I don't care for emo. Sorry. :-\

I don't really get an emo vibe--it's too literal. I would think that emo carries more of a faux-artiness feel or something. This is much more grunge-angst, I think.

That said, I find lyrics are often much more poignant when they are specific. My suggestion is instead saying "you abused me," narrate a specific abuse. That single abuse then becomes representative of an entire relationship of abuse, and is also much more interesting. Generality is not your friend.

but the abuse reference is more a play on words... Cause when you think abuse you normally think of something physical... and the point was it wasn't physical. And I don't want to over-explain it, cause I want that word-play to remain somewhat subtle...

But if you have a suggestion on *how* (specifically) I might accomplish what you're saying, then feel free to let me know, and I'll explore it more...

and...

OH NOS! THREAD HIJACKER!!11 I know the exact feeling though... Except it took me a lot longer before she wasn't "missed" :|

Ah, well yeah sometimes it does take awhile. Yeah, and didn't mean to hi-jack your thread. That was just an off the top of my head example, nothing I'd consider any work.

It's not emo at all, it reminds me of something Elliot Smith or maybe Kurt-y would write. I think it needs a stronger chorus.

stronger how? Like more of a statement?