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ForumsMusic Discussion and Showcase → 2:10 Recording
2:10 Recording
2006-02-23, 12:12 AM #1
This isn't exactly how I want it to sound yet, but I wanna know what you guys think of my attempt at rap-type poetry. I've gotten into it since Dj-Yoshi introduced me to the genre... whatever that genre is...

Anyway, lyrics:

Quote:
Demons have defied me, now wide eyed they don’t sleep
Angels fear my footsteps and fly headlong into the deep
In my wake lie fiends and multi-legged creatures creep
I’m grave robbing, into my veins dead poet’s blood seeps
Growing a garden of words ripe for spring crop and reap
Followers flock and rock back and forth to the beat like sheep
This is what souls have been needing.
The feeling you get is your spirit feeding.
The music is muted that sound is your heart beating.
1000 voices now chime out my word’s, they’re repeating
St. Peter shut the **** up, that’s my fist you’re greeting


Suggestions?
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2006-02-23, 12:44 AM #2
All I can really say is that you definately need to get those 2 in sync and then work from there. I like the rhymes though. Definately original.
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2006-02-23, 5:45 AM #3
Originally posted by JediKirby:
This isn't exactly how I want it to sound yet, but I wanna know what you guys think of my attempt at rap-type poetry. I've gotten into it since Dj-Yoshi introduced me to the genre... whatever that genre is...

Anyway, lyrics:



Suggestions?

It's rap. And I like it, except the last two lines seem a bit...overbearing compared to the rest of the poem.
D E A T H
2006-02-23, 12:48 PM #4
I redid it and took out the last line, click the link again and listen. Tripple-vocals == win.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

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