Oooh, I found something cool. As you can tell, I'm a distrurbed boy. I did this for keyboarding in seventh grade -- I didn't like that class much. Very stupid assignment, failed it because it "didn't make sense."
Wacky Milk Adventure
There once was a lady named Earl. She sold gallons of goat milk. She was a country girl and lived in Montana. On her farm, she raised goats that produced milk, as well as explosive carrots. One day, the evil milk man drove up to her in a mail truck. The evil milk man, named Susan exited his truck. He rang her doorbell. She answered the door and exclaimed, "Holy poo-monkeys! It's Susan, the evil milk man!" Susan was an evil milk man because instead of getting CoWs' milk, she shoved whole CoWs into bottles. Earl screamed and called upon her goat guards. Flying giant baseball bats were flung at Susan. Susan did a matrix-like dodge and threw a swift kick to Earl's face. Earl screamed as she was disintegrated into midget termites. Susan laughed and left, leaving behind a bottle of milk.
Two years later, after the goats were cloned thousands of times, a goat named Hamlet who had the most intelligence of all goats came upon as their leader! On July 82nd, -567 A.D. Hamlet found the bottle left behind by the evil milk man on the front porch. He smashed it open and a CoW burst out. "HI." screamed the CoW. The goat stared blankly at it and threw an explosive carrot at it. The CoW exploded and turned into pork. The goats had a milk and pork festival. This was all a part of Hamlet's plan. He was holding this festival to lure in Susan, so he could get revenge for Earl's death. Suddenly, a giant meteor smashed into the explosive carrot field and a robot named Mr. Roboto flew out of the debris and smashed face-first in front of them. "YOKO MAGATO MR. ROBOTO!" screamed the dead pork CoW. They all danced to '70s music. The festival had started.
Susan the milkman arrived as expected. The festival was in its prime, and they had aged into the '80s. The robot had been torn apart and turned into an electronic keyboard named Bob Saget. "We need to disguise ourselves!" panicked Hamlet. "I have an idea." said Bob Saget. Bob Saget explained his plan to the army. The army whipped out paper bags and flung them over their heads. "Okay," said Hamlet "When Susan walks by, you smash him over the head with that bottle, Bob Saget." Bob Saget nodded... Somehow. Susan came to walk by, and Bob Saget smashed the bottle on his head. Susan was dead. "Yay, we defeated the enemy!" exclaimed Hamlet. The goat army took off their paper bags, and Hamlet called the fire department. The firedepartment arrived in their fire truck and set the festival on fire. Hamlet slipped a firefighter a $50 bill, and the firemen drove off. Suddenly, Bob Saget threw an explosive carrot at Hamlet. Hamlet was hit and died upon impact. The goat army stared at Bob Saget, and he exploded into midget termites. The house door opened. "What the...?" the goat army said in unison. Earl stpped out of the door. "Hi everyone, how was your day?" "It's been two years..." said a monkey that lived on the house's ceiling. "Oh." said Earl. Earl set up a card table and began playing solitare. The goat army came and they all played blackjack. Suddenly, the monkey on the roof pulled out a tranquilizer gun and shot all 10,000 goats of the goat army. They all fell uncouncious.
The next day, Earl shipped the goat army off to Korea. She was paid 90 million dollars by the Kwik-E Mart's owner in Korea. Earl quickly invested in evil milk man stock and built a casino named "Casino." Many other casinos appeared around that area in the future years, and came to what we know as Las Vegas.
Moley Fase closed the story book. "And that's how pens were invented." He smiled and looked a the children that overheard the story. This is when he discovered that the children were rabid penguin-CoW hybrids! He quickly ran to the back of his mansion, hit a large red button, and they all exploded into pork chunks. He ran back in th room and ate all the prok chunks and flushed himself down the toilet. His house was abandon, and people began using it as a '50s trucker bar.
To this very day, no-one knew what happened to Moley Fase. But they will always remember the great stories he told, and his chronic acne problem. The trucker bar was eventually deserted because the fad wore off, and it's the 21st century. The house was torn down, and replaces with New New Hampshire, a new state.
Today's Lesson: Don't do drugs.
The end.
[EDIT: Oh, and yes, I editted from the original format to pertain to CoWs.![[http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]](http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif "http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif")
]
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[This message has been edited by FeTT (edited October 08, 2003).]
Wacky Milk Adventure
There once was a lady named Earl. She sold gallons of goat milk. She was a country girl and lived in Montana. On her farm, she raised goats that produced milk, as well as explosive carrots. One day, the evil milk man drove up to her in a mail truck. The evil milk man, named Susan exited his truck. He rang her doorbell. She answered the door and exclaimed, "Holy poo-monkeys! It's Susan, the evil milk man!" Susan was an evil milk man because instead of getting CoWs' milk, she shoved whole CoWs into bottles. Earl screamed and called upon her goat guards. Flying giant baseball bats were flung at Susan. Susan did a matrix-like dodge and threw a swift kick to Earl's face. Earl screamed as she was disintegrated into midget termites. Susan laughed and left, leaving behind a bottle of milk.
Two years later, after the goats were cloned thousands of times, a goat named Hamlet who had the most intelligence of all goats came upon as their leader! On July 82nd, -567 A.D. Hamlet found the bottle left behind by the evil milk man on the front porch. He smashed it open and a CoW burst out. "HI." screamed the CoW. The goat stared blankly at it and threw an explosive carrot at it. The CoW exploded and turned into pork. The goats had a milk and pork festival. This was all a part of Hamlet's plan. He was holding this festival to lure in Susan, so he could get revenge for Earl's death. Suddenly, a giant meteor smashed into the explosive carrot field and a robot named Mr. Roboto flew out of the debris and smashed face-first in front of them. "YOKO MAGATO MR. ROBOTO!" screamed the dead pork CoW. They all danced to '70s music. The festival had started.
Susan the milkman arrived as expected. The festival was in its prime, and they had aged into the '80s. The robot had been torn apart and turned into an electronic keyboard named Bob Saget. "We need to disguise ourselves!" panicked Hamlet. "I have an idea." said Bob Saget. Bob Saget explained his plan to the army. The army whipped out paper bags and flung them over their heads. "Okay," said Hamlet "When Susan walks by, you smash him over the head with that bottle, Bob Saget." Bob Saget nodded... Somehow. Susan came to walk by, and Bob Saget smashed the bottle on his head. Susan was dead. "Yay, we defeated the enemy!" exclaimed Hamlet. The goat army took off their paper bags, and Hamlet called the fire department. The firedepartment arrived in their fire truck and set the festival on fire. Hamlet slipped a firefighter a $50 bill, and the firemen drove off. Suddenly, Bob Saget threw an explosive carrot at Hamlet. Hamlet was hit and died upon impact. The goat army stared at Bob Saget, and he exploded into midget termites. The house door opened. "What the...?" the goat army said in unison. Earl stpped out of the door. "Hi everyone, how was your day?" "It's been two years..." said a monkey that lived on the house's ceiling. "Oh." said Earl. Earl set up a card table and began playing solitare. The goat army came and they all played blackjack. Suddenly, the monkey on the roof pulled out a tranquilizer gun and shot all 10,000 goats of the goat army. They all fell uncouncious.
The next day, Earl shipped the goat army off to Korea. She was paid 90 million dollars by the Kwik-E Mart's owner in Korea. Earl quickly invested in evil milk man stock and built a casino named "Casino." Many other casinos appeared around that area in the future years, and came to what we know as Las Vegas.
Moley Fase closed the story book. "And that's how pens were invented." He smiled and looked a the children that overheard the story. This is when he discovered that the children were rabid penguin-CoW hybrids! He quickly ran to the back of his mansion, hit a large red button, and they all exploded into pork chunks. He ran back in th room and ate all the prok chunks and flushed himself down the toilet. His house was abandon, and people began using it as a '50s trucker bar.
To this very day, no-one knew what happened to Moley Fase. But they will always remember the great stories he told, and his chronic acne problem. The trucker bar was eventually deserted because the fad wore off, and it's the 21st century. The house was torn down, and replaces with New New Hampshire, a new state.
Today's Lesson: Don't do drugs.
The end.
[EDIT: Oh, and yes, I editted from the original format to pertain to CoWs.
]------------------
[This message has been edited by FeTT (edited October 08, 2003).]
Moo.
