w00t! I won some writing contest and won 200 dollars for this..so enjoy..it's a comical story about me walking up my friends stairs.
PROLOGUE
It was 2:10p.m., and everyone at school was waiting for the bell to ring. The clock hit 2:11 and the bell rang. I don’t know why everyone gets so excited when the bell rings, it happens everyday. Anyway as usual I grabbed my bag and got on the bus. On the ride home I decided I didn’t want to go home, so I look over at my friend Corey Cere and said “I’m going to your house today.” Well Corey didn’t have anything better to do, so he just shrugged his shoulders and said “Okay, whatever”. So I got off the bus at Corey’s stop and we started to walk home. So on we walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and then after that we walked some more. But suddenly we were there, Corey’s house. The walk to his house was easy, but getting to his room upstairs was the hard part. Inside his house, past the kitchen, in the T.V. room, but before the bathroom, and to the left of Corey’s sister’s room was twelve steps. This could be tricky, if I was going to survive I would have to use all of my whit, strength, and courage.
STEP ONE
I glanced up at step one, it was a huge massive 7 inch tall, wood and carpet monstrosity. My first thought on how to defeat this massive challenge was to run full speed into it, so I did. “Rahhhhhhhh!!!!” I screamed as I charged at the huge step, getting closer by the second still charging I closed my eyes and braced for impact. I smashed into the first step and banged my head on the side railing. “Hmm....” I stopped for a moment and went into deep thought. After a few moments I realized what to do, but it would be hard. Using my new approach I lifted up my left foot and put it on the first step, followed by the right foot. I was amazed at how much more efficient and effective that was. I had defeated the first challenge, but was it really worth it? My legs were almost numb, and my feet were almost bleeding from the amount of work I had done. I decided to take a short rest and go for step two in an hour or so.
STEP TWO
An hour and a half had past since I had reached step one. Although I should have taken a longer rest I didn’t. I looked up at step two, it was just as big as step one. I was in trouble. Right before I lifted my foot I heard a bang. I looked up and there on step two was Tyler, Corey’s brother blocking my way. “Excuse me.” I said, but Tyler did not move. “Hmmm, this is going to be harder then expected” I said “You sure are one tough cookie to crack.” After a huge battle of “Excuse me” ‘s and side stepping I sat down and went through my options. I could grab Tyler by the throat and toss him down the stairs, but since he was the brother of my friend I couldn’t. After going through five or six options, all of which involved me killing Corey’s little brother, I decided to pick him up and place him at step one. I then proceed to step two, and once more I decided to take a break.
STEP THREE
Step three was a horrible step. I don’t remember all of it, but I remember enough to know it was horrible. I looked up at step three, and it was also just as big as step one and two, that’s when I realized that all the steps were going to be that enormous. I went to lift my foot, but once again I was stopped. My shoelace was untied and I tripped and fell. As I fell towards the ground below me I had a plan. I grabbed on to the side of the staircase just in time. My heart was beating uncontrollably, as I looked down below me and realized how lucky I was that I hadn’t fallen to my death. Since each step was 7 inches tall, and there were two steps below me, that’s like 50 inches right there. I shimmied over to step three and lifted my body up. It was at least 9:00p.m. and I decided to make camp and try for the top tomorrow, but before I could set up my tent I collapsed from exhaustion.
STEP FOUR
I was awoken by the pitter-patter of rain and the loud bang of thunder. I wasn’t quite sure what time it was, because the dark clouds covered the sky. I was scared of the thunder ever since I was a child, but I wasn’t a child anymore so I couldn’t cry for my mommy I decided to act as a man would instead and just cry my eyes out without mommy. After I cried myself a river and the thunderstorm had ended I decided it would be best to make for step four. My eyes were still red from crying and once again I stood up to take a step and slipped. I had slipped on my own tears, but this time I grabbed a hold of the railing instead of falling. Those years of watching Jackie Chan movies had really paid off, I had my left foot on one rail and my right on the other. I then jumped up onto step four, but as I jumped my glasses fell off my face and landed all the way down on step two. Since I was on a roll today, I decided to cry some more for the loss of my glasses. Suddenly I was very hungry, must of been from all that crying. Since there was nothing else to eat, I was forced to eat my tent. That night I slept with just a sleeping bag, pillow, pajamas, a blanket, a nightcap, and a pair of gloves....I was freezing.
STEP FIVE
I awoke again to another thunderstorm, but I tried really hard and didn’t cry. Instead I required a mop and bucket. My lack of eyewear was hard to handle, but since all of the steps looked the same I could probably feel my way up the steps. I grabbed a hold of step five and attempted to pull my body up. But my arms sliding across the carpet gave me rug burn, and believe me when I tell you, it kind of hurt. Once again I grabbed on to step five, this time I pulled myself up, even though it hurt. By now my shoes were almost worthless, the sharp, jagged, and rough, carpet had shredded my shoes up, but I wasn’t really mad because they were new shoes, I was mad because the front of my shoes were now creased. I went to sleep angry, and once again freezing. In the middle of the night I heard someone get up and walk over to the thermostat. Whoever it was changed the temperature from 75º to 70º. I almost got frostbite.
STEPS SIX AND SEVEN
I decided to throw away my shoes, but I kept the shoelaces incase I fell again. My feet on the carpet were hard to bear, and on top of that my legs were sore and my face was ugly. I glanced up past step six and on seven, and I saw a blurry round shape. I couldn’t afford to waste another day, so I dragged my tired body up on step six and made a lasso out of my shoelaces. I then tossed the lasso onto the object and pulled it down to me. It was a volleyball, I decided to name it Wilson. Later that day I tied the lasso back around Wilson and used him as a grappling hook to reach step seven, I still have no idea how Wilson didn’t roll down the stairs when I pulled myself up, but then again some questions are best left unanswered. Later that night I had a conversation with Wilson about Corey’s room. We just couldn’t wait to get upstairs to play games on Corey’s computer. Wilson is a great listener, I did most of the talking and he just sat there and listened. He seems to really understand me.
STEP EIGHT
I didn’t sleep very well last night, I had the feeling Wilson was watching me. He didn’t talk or move, he just sat there, eyes wide open, not blinking or breathing....just staring. Then I realized that Wilson was a volleyball and I forgave him. I decided to use Wilson as a grappling hook again, but after I made it to step eight the shoelaces broke. Later that afternoon Corey’s cat came wandering down the stairs. Well, I was really hungry, so I tried to grab it, but it saw me and ran away.....must of been my face. A lot later that day the cat came back up the stairs, this time it stopped and scratched my face. I found it only fair to scratch it back, and when I did it just laid there motionless...I thought it was playing dead at first, then I realized it was a cat, and cats don’t play dead. I always thought cats had nine lives, well I guess I was wrong. Even though I felt bad for the cat, I did eat well that night.
STEP NINE
I could almost see the top of the steps from where I was, I figured if I made it to step ten I could call for help. I almost didn’t make it to step nine, it was getting harder and harder to get up the steps as the days went by. I pushed myself really hard, because Wilson still looked full of energy, and if he can make it, so can I. I decided to try the good ol’ one foot in front of the other technique. But my left foot got caught on my right foot and I fell on top of my right leg and broke it. The good news was I made it to step nine, the bad news was I was out of cat and I had a broken leg. I spent that whole night thinking of a way to get to step ten...Well actually I gave up trying to think of plans after 30 seconds or so and fell asleep. I had a dream about a pony that night, it was a rather nice dream, it had Wilson in it too, and that really nice guy from across the street, under the bridge, two corners away from the barber shop was in it too, you know, the one with the white beard and the scar on his left nostril.
STEPS TEN, ELEVEN, AND TWELVE
When I woke up the next day I noticed I was already on step ten. I didn’t bother to ask questions, I just assumed that Wilson carried me up the step. Anyway I started to yell for help. “COREY! HELP, HELP!! IS ANYONE HERE!?! HELP ME! PLEASE!”. Nobody came. So I tried again, and again and again until my voice was so dead I could barley even whisper. Then I got a brilliant idea. I knew that Corey’s favorite game was called ‘Dark Age of Camelot’, so I then stopped calling for help and I said as loud as I could, which isn’t very loud because of all the yelling I did, “Corey, Dark Age of Camelot is a horrible stupid game”. Not even half a second after I said that Corey came running over to the stairs. “WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” he yelled at me. “I said, I need help getting up the stairs” I replied. “Oh, sure. I thought you said something else” he said. So Corey then grabbed my arm and pulled me upstairs. I was saved! But, OH NO! WILSON! As I looked back down I saw Wilson falling down the stairs! Since he was one of my best friends, I decided to start back down the steps to save him.
THE END
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Et E'llo Endorenna ut / Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' / Ambar-metta!
(This IS[/b] SAJN_Master)
PROLOGUE
It was 2:10p.m., and everyone at school was waiting for the bell to ring. The clock hit 2:11 and the bell rang. I don’t know why everyone gets so excited when the bell rings, it happens everyday. Anyway as usual I grabbed my bag and got on the bus. On the ride home I decided I didn’t want to go home, so I look over at my friend Corey Cere and said “I’m going to your house today.” Well Corey didn’t have anything better to do, so he just shrugged his shoulders and said “Okay, whatever”. So I got off the bus at Corey’s stop and we started to walk home. So on we walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and then after that we walked some more. But suddenly we were there, Corey’s house. The walk to his house was easy, but getting to his room upstairs was the hard part. Inside his house, past the kitchen, in the T.V. room, but before the bathroom, and to the left of Corey’s sister’s room was twelve steps. This could be tricky, if I was going to survive I would have to use all of my whit, strength, and courage.
STEP ONE
I glanced up at step one, it was a huge massive 7 inch tall, wood and carpet monstrosity. My first thought on how to defeat this massive challenge was to run full speed into it, so I did. “Rahhhhhhhh!!!!” I screamed as I charged at the huge step, getting closer by the second still charging I closed my eyes and braced for impact. I smashed into the first step and banged my head on the side railing. “Hmm....” I stopped for a moment and went into deep thought. After a few moments I realized what to do, but it would be hard. Using my new approach I lifted up my left foot and put it on the first step, followed by the right foot. I was amazed at how much more efficient and effective that was. I had defeated the first challenge, but was it really worth it? My legs were almost numb, and my feet were almost bleeding from the amount of work I had done. I decided to take a short rest and go for step two in an hour or so.
STEP TWO
An hour and a half had past since I had reached step one. Although I should have taken a longer rest I didn’t. I looked up at step two, it was just as big as step one. I was in trouble. Right before I lifted my foot I heard a bang. I looked up and there on step two was Tyler, Corey’s brother blocking my way. “Excuse me.” I said, but Tyler did not move. “Hmmm, this is going to be harder then expected” I said “You sure are one tough cookie to crack.” After a huge battle of “Excuse me” ‘s and side stepping I sat down and went through my options. I could grab Tyler by the throat and toss him down the stairs, but since he was the brother of my friend I couldn’t. After going through five or six options, all of which involved me killing Corey’s little brother, I decided to pick him up and place him at step one. I then proceed to step two, and once more I decided to take a break.
STEP THREE
Step three was a horrible step. I don’t remember all of it, but I remember enough to know it was horrible. I looked up at step three, and it was also just as big as step one and two, that’s when I realized that all the steps were going to be that enormous. I went to lift my foot, but once again I was stopped. My shoelace was untied and I tripped and fell. As I fell towards the ground below me I had a plan. I grabbed on to the side of the staircase just in time. My heart was beating uncontrollably, as I looked down below me and realized how lucky I was that I hadn’t fallen to my death. Since each step was 7 inches tall, and there were two steps below me, that’s like 50 inches right there. I shimmied over to step three and lifted my body up. It was at least 9:00p.m. and I decided to make camp and try for the top tomorrow, but before I could set up my tent I collapsed from exhaustion.
STEP FOUR
I was awoken by the pitter-patter of rain and the loud bang of thunder. I wasn’t quite sure what time it was, because the dark clouds covered the sky. I was scared of the thunder ever since I was a child, but I wasn’t a child anymore so I couldn’t cry for my mommy I decided to act as a man would instead and just cry my eyes out without mommy. After I cried myself a river and the thunderstorm had ended I decided it would be best to make for step four. My eyes were still red from crying and once again I stood up to take a step and slipped. I had slipped on my own tears, but this time I grabbed a hold of the railing instead of falling. Those years of watching Jackie Chan movies had really paid off, I had my left foot on one rail and my right on the other. I then jumped up onto step four, but as I jumped my glasses fell off my face and landed all the way down on step two. Since I was on a roll today, I decided to cry some more for the loss of my glasses. Suddenly I was very hungry, must of been from all that crying. Since there was nothing else to eat, I was forced to eat my tent. That night I slept with just a sleeping bag, pillow, pajamas, a blanket, a nightcap, and a pair of gloves....I was freezing.
STEP FIVE
I awoke again to another thunderstorm, but I tried really hard and didn’t cry. Instead I required a mop and bucket. My lack of eyewear was hard to handle, but since all of the steps looked the same I could probably feel my way up the steps. I grabbed a hold of step five and attempted to pull my body up. But my arms sliding across the carpet gave me rug burn, and believe me when I tell you, it kind of hurt. Once again I grabbed on to step five, this time I pulled myself up, even though it hurt. By now my shoes were almost worthless, the sharp, jagged, and rough, carpet had shredded my shoes up, but I wasn’t really mad because they were new shoes, I was mad because the front of my shoes were now creased. I went to sleep angry, and once again freezing. In the middle of the night I heard someone get up and walk over to the thermostat. Whoever it was changed the temperature from 75º to 70º. I almost got frostbite.
STEPS SIX AND SEVEN
I decided to throw away my shoes, but I kept the shoelaces incase I fell again. My feet on the carpet were hard to bear, and on top of that my legs were sore and my face was ugly. I glanced up past step six and on seven, and I saw a blurry round shape. I couldn’t afford to waste another day, so I dragged my tired body up on step six and made a lasso out of my shoelaces. I then tossed the lasso onto the object and pulled it down to me. It was a volleyball, I decided to name it Wilson. Later that day I tied the lasso back around Wilson and used him as a grappling hook to reach step seven, I still have no idea how Wilson didn’t roll down the stairs when I pulled myself up, but then again some questions are best left unanswered. Later that night I had a conversation with Wilson about Corey’s room. We just couldn’t wait to get upstairs to play games on Corey’s computer. Wilson is a great listener, I did most of the talking and he just sat there and listened. He seems to really understand me.
STEP EIGHT
I didn’t sleep very well last night, I had the feeling Wilson was watching me. He didn’t talk or move, he just sat there, eyes wide open, not blinking or breathing....just staring. Then I realized that Wilson was a volleyball and I forgave him. I decided to use Wilson as a grappling hook again, but after I made it to step eight the shoelaces broke. Later that afternoon Corey’s cat came wandering down the stairs. Well, I was really hungry, so I tried to grab it, but it saw me and ran away.....must of been my face. A lot later that day the cat came back up the stairs, this time it stopped and scratched my face. I found it only fair to scratch it back, and when I did it just laid there motionless...I thought it was playing dead at first, then I realized it was a cat, and cats don’t play dead. I always thought cats had nine lives, well I guess I was wrong. Even though I felt bad for the cat, I did eat well that night.
STEP NINE
I could almost see the top of the steps from where I was, I figured if I made it to step ten I could call for help. I almost didn’t make it to step nine, it was getting harder and harder to get up the steps as the days went by. I pushed myself really hard, because Wilson still looked full of energy, and if he can make it, so can I. I decided to try the good ol’ one foot in front of the other technique. But my left foot got caught on my right foot and I fell on top of my right leg and broke it. The good news was I made it to step nine, the bad news was I was out of cat and I had a broken leg. I spent that whole night thinking of a way to get to step ten...Well actually I gave up trying to think of plans after 30 seconds or so and fell asleep. I had a dream about a pony that night, it was a rather nice dream, it had Wilson in it too, and that really nice guy from across the street, under the bridge, two corners away from the barber shop was in it too, you know, the one with the white beard and the scar on his left nostril.
STEPS TEN, ELEVEN, AND TWELVE
When I woke up the next day I noticed I was already on step ten. I didn’t bother to ask questions, I just assumed that Wilson carried me up the step. Anyway I started to yell for help. “COREY! HELP, HELP!! IS ANYONE HERE!?! HELP ME! PLEASE!”. Nobody came. So I tried again, and again and again until my voice was so dead I could barley even whisper. Then I got a brilliant idea. I knew that Corey’s favorite game was called ‘Dark Age of Camelot’, so I then stopped calling for help and I said as loud as I could, which isn’t very loud because of all the yelling I did, “Corey, Dark Age of Camelot is a horrible stupid game”. Not even half a second after I said that Corey came running over to the stairs. “WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” he yelled at me. “I said, I need help getting up the stairs” I replied. “Oh, sure. I thought you said something else” he said. So Corey then grabbed my arm and pulled me upstairs. I was saved! But, OH NO! WILSON! As I looked back down I saw Wilson falling down the stairs! Since he was one of my best friends, I decided to start back down the steps to save him.
THE END
------------------
Et E'llo Endorenna ut / Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn' / Ambar-metta!
(This IS[/b] SAJN_Master)
Someone wrote this over one of the urinals: "The joke isn't on the wall; it's in your hand." - BV
