These are scenes that a friend and I made up for "Monty Python and The Holy Grail". Some of them are supposed to be stupid, and some are supposed to be funny. Bold text shows stuff we added.

(The other thread was deleted because it kept dissapearing on me! I couldn't see it on the forums!, and because nobody was on topic..so stay on topic.)

Comments/Suggestions?

DELETED SCENES

ARTHUR:
Right. How many did we lose?

LAUNCELOT:
Gawain.

GALAHAD:
Ector.

ARTHUR:
And Bors. That's five.

GALAHAD:
Three, sir.

ARTHUR:
Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.

ROBIN:
Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?

ARTHUR:
Oh, shut up and go and change your armour.

GALAHAD:
Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.

ARTHUR:
Like what?

GALAHAD:
Well... ooh.

LAUNCELOT:
Have we got bows?

ARTHUR:
No.

BEDEVERE:
Perhaps we could build this giant wooden snake and then…

ARTHUR, LAUNCELOT, ROBIN, GALAHAD:
Oh, shut up!

ARTHUR:
This is the fifth time you’ve came up with an idea like that!

GALAHAD:
Third.

ARTHUR:
What?

GALAHAD:
This is the third time he’s thought up that idea.

ARTHUR:
Right…that’s what I said.

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FATHER:
You fell out of the Tall Tower, you creep!

HERBERT:
No, I was saved at the last minute.

FATHER:
How?!

HERBERT:
Well, I'll tell you.

[music]

FATHER:
Not like that! Not like that! No! Stop it!

GUESTS: [singing]
He's going to tell! He's going to tell!...

FATHER:
Shut up! (3 times)

FATHER:
Not like that!

GUESTS: [singing]
He's going to tell! He's going to tell! He's going to tell! He's going to..

[slash]

FATHER:
What did I say about killi… Oh the music
stopped.

LANCELOT:
I didn’t kill him

FATHER:
I saw you run up and stab him…

LANCELOT:
No you didn’t

FATHER:
You don’t have to lie, I tried to kill him myse…

LANCELOT:
I am telling you I didn’t kill him!

FATHER:
But, I saw you!

LANCELOT:
No you didn’t, you saw that man over there.

FATHER:
What ma…

[slash]
[stab]

FATHER:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg.

GUESTS:
You killed him!!!!

LANCELOT:
...No I didn’t.

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TALL KNIGHT:
When you have found the shrubbery, then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest ... with a herring.

OTHER KNIGHTS:
Yes! With a herring! With a herring! Cut down with a herring!

ARTHUR:
We shall do no such thing!

TALL KNIGHT:
Oh, please!

ARTHUR:
Cut down a tree with a herring? That's just plain stupid!

TALL KNIGHT:
How about a Salmon?

ARTHUR:
No! Now listen here, if you do not let me pass th..

TALL KNIGHT:
Oh come on! A salmon is atleast two times the size of a herring!

ARTHUR:
No, it is ridiculous!

OTHER KNIGHTS:
(they all recoil in horror)
Oh!

TALL KNIGHT:
Don't say that word.

ARTHUR:
What word?

TALL KNIGHT:
I cannot tell you. Suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of Ni! cannot hear!


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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
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[This message has been edited by Rod-Nog (edited January 10, 2004).]

Erm...some of it is borderline funny, some parts don't really make sense.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

Meh, they fit in perfectly...then again I watch the movie about everyday :/ , so for me they fit, because I know what parts they refer to and what not.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
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No, that doesn't make sense.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

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Secondly...



Pointing out the blindingly obvious destroys the humor. Sort of the same way a joke isn't funny when someone has to explain it to you.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

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How does it not?


He says he has better and then the other guy says such as? and then he says what he thinks is better then he is like..oh wait..I already said that. makes perfect sense. Liek watch teh movie!

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

[This message has been edited by Rod-Nog (edited January 10, 2004).]

"Such as?" is the part that doesn't make sense. He says "I got better." That's a simple fact. The phrase "such as" is not an appropriate response to the statement.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

ugh, king arthur in the film keeps saying 5 instead of 3 when he is supposed to. Now Bedevere has an idea (For the 3rd time! to make a wooden animal) and King Arthur is like THE 5th TIME! and once again is corrected. Third.. IF YOU SAW THE MOVIE YOU WILL GET ALL OF THESE.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

I saw the movie, okay? I've seen it lots of times. Don't ask for suggestions if you're just going to blow them off. It's not funny. I'm offering to help you MAKE it funny. Capishe?

Anyway, I know he said the 3/5 joke. But you killed it by explaining it.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

[This message has been edited by Thrawn42689 (edited January 10, 2004).]

That 1 line doesnt make sense in context. if you added a line such as "(1 minute pause)", it would make a bit more sense.

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Americans call it "Tuna Fish". Canadians call it "Tuna". We just assume that it's a fish.

But those weren't suggestions, those were "They make no sense" things...and they made sense.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

btw: i was talking about the "such as" routine. sorry for not adding the quote.

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Americans call it "Tuna Fish". Canadians call it "Tuna". We just assume that it's a fish.

To you, maybe. Not to the other two people who have replied to this thread.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

How is this

- I got better.
- You've got better?
_ Yeah! I do! Like umm...well..uhh..She turned me into a ne...Oh I said that already didn't I?
- Burn her anyways!

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

By "I got better", he means he stopped being a newt. The other guy was skeptical because the person was obviously not a newt.

This stuff is not funny.

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My signature puts the 'hat' in 'phat'.

I interpreted it as I've got better, as in he has better things to say. I never thought of it as I got better health wise.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
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Everything is all fixed.

back on topic hi-yah! *cracks whip*
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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

[This message has been edited by Rod-Nog (edited January 10, 2004).]

I don't want to be rude, but why are you adding to the already wonderful script?

For a deleted scenes section. When we do our little crappy re-make we want to add in a bunch of made up interviews and deleted scenes. That's why And yes, the script is already brilliant. Like I said some should be funny some should be just stupid. Some people think it's funny, some don't.

We aren't selling it or anything, just for fun, so shut up with the OMFG THATS ILLEGAL bull crap.

(Also, I am trying to make the deleted scenes act like it was origionaly planned, I am trying to keep with character. One line that King Arthur says during my "Ni" addition doesn't seem right, but eventually I will fix it. It also mostly depends on how we act it out.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor


[This message has been edited by Rod-Nog (edited January 10, 2004).]

Nobody said mentioned illegality...

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The Matrix: Unplugged

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Tha point of it was, don't. LIEK OMG BACK ON TOPIC.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
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Hey, who here likes peanut butter?

For heaven's sake, if you want your thread to say on topic, spell it right. Anyway, the giant wooden snake thing still needs to be removed.

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Oh? what's not makeing sense about the snake? or was the " " for sarcasm

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

It makes perfect sense. It's just not funny, for reasons I've already pointed out.

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I'm a C4D b****!

Peanut butter? I told you once not to mention peanut butter.



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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
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My friends and I find the Swamp Castle one funny. so. and like it says some are going to be stupid for the reason of being a deleted scene.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

It's not stupid-funny, either. It's painfully unfunny, the kind of unfunny that makes one's stomach turn and makes one wince. The kind that compels one to politely excuse oneself from the room. Explaining the joke doesn't make it stupid, it just makes it unfunny. Does that make sense?

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

[This message has been edited by Thrawn42689 (edited January 10, 2004).]

It shouldn't need explaining first of all, because it's painfuly obvious that it's a reference to earlier in the film and second of all I said some would be stupid and some funny, not some would be Stupid-funny and some would be funny.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

I know it's painfully obvious that it's a reference to earlier in the film. But you explained it earlier, i.e. "ARTHUR:
This is the fifth time you’ve came up with an idea like that!" That line ruins the joke. And if the scenes are stupid but not funny, why watch them?

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

You must know that the "genius" behind Monty Python humor is that doesn't always push "stupid factor" to make humorous. It more like a "play on words" to produce something funny.

For example instead of saying something like "Let's make fun the rabbit and so he will screw up" the writing goes as, "Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake."

Also, about the scene with Lancelot and the father. The usage of contradiction seems so misplaced. Monty Pyton is known to use contradiction as a method but only in the right situations.

You also talk about the "wooden snake." If this is a reference to the wooden rabbit, the connection isn't clear. The wooden rabbit should be used once to remain as a funny part. If it used again, it would be not remembered as funny.

Lasty, remember the usage of words in the movie. "That's just plain stupid" seems not to belong. In that scene, don't make the Tall Knight suggest a salmon. You extending the fish humor a bit too far.



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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
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[This message has been edited by Echoman (edited January 10, 2004).]

Thats exactly why they are deleted scenes. I am just asking IF the scenes were to be extended, would they be similar to this? I mean does it keep with character.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

[This message has been edited by Rod-Nog (edited January 10, 2004).]

Probably it was never meant to be extended. Some things are likely never to be "added on." The only way I think that the writing could be added onto is if you made a whole new scene.

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
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But, but, but... That was..I mean..Deleted...and...but, but......ahhhhhh. Deleted scenes as in DIDN'T MAKE FINAL CUT. That's the point of these. It's a joke th...never mind! *storms off*

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

I guess its creative in a way...

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
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Yes! Victory!

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

That's more like it! haha.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

We also had an idea of makeing a deleted scene that would be the Black Knight scene..but with light sabers instead of swords. But we have a budget of like pocket change so.

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor

You can make lightsabers with Premier and Photoshop, you know.

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The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

To lazy to go slide by slide

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SAJN_Master had sticky Shift button - wrote 179 lines in CAPS.
Sample: [17:42] <SAJN_Master> Flexor