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A short poem

2004-01-22, 1:07 PM #1

..would like a shrubbery.

Posts: 4,822

This is a short poem I just wrote. I've never written a poem before but I thought this came out fairly well.

If anyone read my topic in the discussion forum not long ago, well it's about that.

Quote:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
I stand here,
In the cold,
Waiting until,
I grow old.

I see you,
Coming near,
Walking by,
then standing here.

I'm still here,
You are too,
I wish I could,
Just talk to you.

There you are,
Waiting here,
Unknown to,
The way I care.

If only I,
Had the nerve,
To tell you how,
I observe.

Too late now,
You're not there,
I've missed my chance,
You're gone...
</font>

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WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUT!!!

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2004-01-22, 1:11 PM #2

BurrBoy

Has nothing.

Posts: 2,246

I liked it!

-thumbs up-

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Signatures are overrated.

"You can run but you will only die tired."

The tired anthem of a loser and a hypocrite.

2004-01-22, 1:35 PM #3

saberopus

Likes Kittens. Eats Fluffies

Posts: 12,306

I enjoy how you didn't lapse into a repetetive and rigid rhyme scheme.

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saber opus
oh yeh wlel i jsut gots finesht wiht my morrwoind mod for teh JO An it takes up teh 900 gigabiets of spaec but i wlil not sowh yuo gyz teh scrnshoots becasue we dunat kare wut u gyz tihnk ne1 no wear i kan get ti hostad 4 dounlowd!!!!11!111 --Checksum

2004-01-22, 1:36 PM #4

Forsakahn

Rib Sneer Memo

Posts: 829

More like a song lyric than a poem, and nowhere near as creepy as Kirby's stuff on another thread. Not bad, not half bad at all.

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Americans call it "Tuna Fish". Canadians call it "Tuna". We just assume that it's a fish.

50000 episodes of badmouthing and screaming like a constipated goat cant be wrong. - Mr. Stafford

2004-01-22, 5:05 PM #5

Axis

Of Evil!!

Posts: 3,164

That's awesome. *prints it out* That's worth remembering...

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"The Oracle told me I would die with my boots on. I've worn tennis shoes ever since." - Axis

2004-01-23, 12:48 PM #6

..would like a shrubbery.

Posts: 4,822

Thanks.

[http://forums.massassi.net/html/smile.gif]

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WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUT!!!

2004-01-23, 3:36 PM #7

JediKirby

GoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy

Posts: 17,361

Quote:

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Forsakahn:
More like a song lyric than a poem, and nowhere near as creepy as Kirby's stuff on another thread. Not bad, not half bad at all.

</font>

...

Very unimaginative rhymes, and a bit under spirited. But certainly not the worst I've seen.

JediKirby

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"I was driving along listening to the radio, when Judas Priest comes on. It was 'You've got another thing coming.' All of a sudden, I enter 'VICE CITY RAMAGE MODE' and nearly ran some guy over"
- ]-[ellequin

ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

2004-01-23, 3:38 PM #8

Gebohq

ISB Kingpin

Posts: 8,352

I hope you don't take this as an insult, because it's not meant to be, but it feels a lot like Linkin Park lyrics, in the beat and style and such.

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