ok, well, this is a story i'm writing, and as you can guess, it's about WW3. i'm taking out the prologue, seeing as how is might...offend some people, but it says that in a way Russia takes power and teams up with the remains of Iraq (they're called Irsia) and take over the USA, and there was a treaty signed so that USA couldn't harm "irsia". Now, this does have REAL names in it...but please, don't stalk me and my friend, we wouldn't enjoy that. also note, this is FAR from being completed, and yeah, it's got big problems (m32? wtf? well...i was trying to think of some non-existent gun and out game M32), and please note also, that what's going on right NOW isn't WW3...even as they retake America (omq spoiler) it isn't WW3. WW3 comes afterwards, but that's still a WAYS off...soo...here it is.

please post all comments, questions, and criticism

BTW, it's in sip form because the form it's really in isn't supported, and if you don't have microsoft word...you may not be able to read it either...so...sorry

Just wondering...why on earth would Russia want to team up with Iraq, even at the peak of its power? Iraq kind of sucks militarily. :p

i dunno why thrawn...i was bored, and looking for a plot...i figured: what the hell, and i started the story. after that i focused mainly on what was going on, and tried to forget about that

How about they team up with France next.

>.>

hey thrawn, how about you read the story if you haven't thus far?

Oh fine.

WW3: THE PLAY-BY-PLAY, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THRAWNBOT

Page 1: Hehe, Massassi people. Funny.

Page 2: Whoa WHOA! Maybe it's not supposed to be funny. o.O But who sent him the email?

Page 3: Cazorian? Hahahaha. Now it's funny again. [break] Aw, poor guy.

Page 4: Yay, videogames! This reminds me of Cryptonomicon, sans the "vis-a-vis."

Page 5: W...T...F...no, seriously. wtf. Someone needs to design a new 9mm handgun. Also, judging from his performance in the simulator he's not really qualified to be training people is he?

Page 6: Um, at this rate I kinda hope the Russians kill you all. This is one messed-up military. Anyway, why is Sam complaining about child soldiers when half his group is under 16?

Page 7: There's really more to the military than pain tolerance, you know? All the pain tolerance in the world won't do a thing if you're dead. Methinks it's time for them to start learning how to not get shot in the first place.

Page 8: Uh...this is turning into some kind of demented and nonsensical Ender's Game. Sorry, but that's the impression I'm getting...I don't understand the point of this at all. :\

Page 9: This isn't really the military is it? I guess I got that impression somewhere, but it's like some kind of...deathmatch thing. Or are they playing videogames in the hospital again? I'm confused.

WW3: THE STANDARD MASSASSI POST

It's an interesting idea, although the Massassiness makes it kinda hard to take seriously. Also, the Chapters appear to be only one page each, which is kind of short for a story. They could be made much longer by adding emotion and description to the story, instead of a deadpan description ("Zloc did this. Then he did this. Then he killed 1 guy with a machinegun"). That reminds me, you should always spell out numbers, unless it's describing text within the story, e.g. reading a computer screen. The other thing is the senseless self-mutilation and destruction that I go into depth in in my play-by-play. I just don't get it. Also, even Ender
s Game had interludes in which the characters developed, spoke to one another, and did more or less normal things. This just jumps from one bloodbath to the next. There should be some "coffee table" sequences in between, showing perhaps what the characters felt about killing little kids and what have you.

EDIT: I almost forgot--you shouldn't use all caps so much in the dialogue like that, it looks weird and sort of kills the realism. Instead, try describing how loudly a character is yelling.

Anyway, those are just my suggestions. Interpret them as you will. And most importantly, keep it up!

Fine. Ignore me.

hey thrawn, thanks. I know it's got problems, and not much backround..and yeah, little things like "WHERE'D THE EMAIL COME FROM" but...I plan to finish it (estimating around 50 pages OR SO) and then release that..then go back and polish it...though, i prolly wouldn't publicly release the unpolished version. I just wanted to know what other people thought about it, other than me and my friend...so, Thrawn, THANKS, i guess...

It's creepy. o.o