Ok, to begin with, this is another of those text-based showcases, so if you came for pretty pictures, you are probably going to be disappointed.
I’ve always enjoyed creating tech-bases, that is developing the culture, technology, and legends of a fictional world, but I’ve never been very good at doing anything with them. Quite a while ago I came up with the Legend of the Worldsmiths, and have been fleshing It out in my mind ever since. Since the Worldsmiths’ legend is one of the shorter things I have come up with, I decided to try and type it out, after two and a half hours of work, here it is. There are probably quite a few grammatical errors, but I mainly want to know your opinions on the story itself, and of course the story telling.
P.S. The names I just pulled out of nowhere, so they may be crap, just replace them with whatever names you like.
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A great many years ago, in a land that can no longer be found, there came a reign of two great kings. Kirimoth, the great king of the north, and Garam, Great king of the south. These kings lead their people to great prosperity and glory, but eventually they came to make war upon each-other. The war between these two kingdoms lasted long after the kings themselves had passed on, and the people no longer remembered the first battle cries. Much blood was spilled on both sides, but the ones who suffered the most were those people who lived in the wooded regions between the northern and southern kingdoms. These people allied them selves not with either side, but yet they could not escape the consequences of the Great War. The story was an often-told one, two great armies would come to bear not far from a village. Eventually, one of the armies would come to be routed, and the survivors would retreat, and come to take shelter in the near by village. The wounded solders rarely spared thought for the villagers, and simply took what they needed, often by force if necessary. The stores and supplies of the village would be decimated, and the wills of its people would be broken. Before long the opposing army, having re-grouped from the previous battle, would march through the village, often setting fire to the homes and farms they found in order to flush out the remains of the defeated army, and sometimes even killing the villagers themselves as though they were aiding the enemy. For these villages there was little piece, as neither side gave though of the atrocities committed, nor were the villagers any match for the great armies that rode through their lands, staining them with blood.
In one of these small villages, their came to be a blacksmith of considerable talent. He dedicated his work to the making of weapons and armor so that the people of his village would be able to defend themselves should it ever pass that they become involved in this Great War. Fortune had spared the village for some time, and the Blacksmith came to rear two sons, both strong and hearty, and with a skill matching their fathers. They took to the forge with the same passion that their father had. Not long after these two brothers had come of age than the wheel of fortune had turned, and the great armies of the north and south met in a field only a few furlongs from the village. On the evening of the great battle, a small band of solders who had been wounded and escaped from battle came upon the village, and intended on taking refuge. However, the people of this village were not prepared to accept their fate silently, and the solders were met by the arms and armor of the blacksmith and his two sons born by all the men of the village. The battle was short, and the solders were turned away, but the blacksmith had sustained a mortal wound and passed before dawn.
The two brothers mourned their loss greatly, and swore an oath to avenge their father and all those to whom this war had brought injustice. Driven by their loss, and the hardheaded notions of youth, the two brothers made their way west into the great Ujeal Mountains. There, the two brothers took to the great rocks with nothing but their hands and their forge hammer, and from them they harvested a pack's worth of ore. The two brothers then headed south, where the climbed the slopes of the sleeping volcano of Almati. In the great heat of Almati they smelted the ore, and began to shape a blade in the fires of the earth. Once the blade had been shaped they carried it, still glowing from the earth-fires, north unto the glaciers of the frozen Valleys, and there in the icy streams they tempered the blade. Finally, again returning to the Ujeal Mountains the ground the blade into a deadly edge upon the granite slopes. The blade thus forged was one to which no man could recon with, indeed the brothers had forged the first Earth-Blade.
It had been several years since the two brothers had left their village, and with the Earth-Blade in hand they returned home to begin their quest for retribution. However, when the two brothers arrived they found their village burned and ruined. Amongst the ruins of their old home, the two brothers felt a great rage welling up inside of them, yet they could not resolve who it was that would carry the Earth-Blade into battle and seek justice for those slain here. Finally, the two brothers agreed that they would resolve this with a contest of skill. They thrust the Earth-Blade into their father’s anvil that stood still amongst the ruins, and their it stuck tight. They then agreed that they would meet in a year and a day upon their very grounds, and equipped with only the best arms and armor they could forge, the would fight to find out who would carry the Earth-Blade into battle.
When the two brothers left their ruined home, one of them headed north, and the other south. Each brother opened up their own smithy on outskirts of the two great kingdoms, and there they toiled, seeking to improve their skills, and to manufacture for that fateful day the best weapon and the best armor that they could.
When a year and a day had passed, the two brothers indeed met upon the ruins of their old home and stood before the Earth-Blade. Each one wore a suit of armor greater than any worn in the armies of the two great kingdoms, and each one wielded a sword of equal making. Fueled by their desire for revenge, but free of anger for each other, the two brothers began to fight. Their battle lasted a day, and in the end both brothers had broken their shields and swords upon each other, yet there was no clear victor. Exhausted, the two brothers agreed to meat again, this time in five years time, to again battle for the right to seek revenge. They then returned to their respective forges, and began anew to push their skills and developed their craft.
When Five years had passed, the two brothers again met over the ruins of their old home, this time bearing armor finer than any king had ever worn. With greater passion than before they battled, and through their battle, the sun set and rose again. On the evening of the second day, both brothers found themselves again having broken their shields and swords upon each other, and despite tremendous skill they was no clear victor. So again they agreed to match skills in five years. Another two times this pattern repeated itself, each time the brothers met in finer armor than before, and each time the battle would last longer than the time before, but there was never a clear victor, and so the great Earth-Blade remained impaled within their fathers anvil.
During this time, the skill of the two brothers became a thing of legend, and while no stories were told of their origins nor of the great blade they had forged tougher, it soon came to pass that many great heroes came to these brothers in order to equip themselves for their glorious battles. In time the skill of the brothers even came to the attention of the two kings of the great kingdoms of the north and south. Each king sent for one of the brothers, and having brought him before the court, ordered him to begin equipping the royal armies. Finding themselves in no position to object, the two brothers began forging armor and weapons of the finest quality to be carried into battle by the very armies that had destroyed their homes. Each brother worked furiously, fussing their mind such that they could developed their skills and wield the blade they had forged, and that they could seek revenge against the kingdoms whose employment they now kept.
Again five years passed, and the two brothers, seemingly untouched by the ravages of time, slipped out for their fateful confrontation. Unknown to the brothers, two great armies, each equipped with the weapons and armor forged by one of the brothers, also left to fulfill their destiny, When the two brothers met, they stood not in the armor they had forged, but this time they stood before each other wearing nothing but the clothes of their trade. They wielded not a sword, but instead each healed in their hands a worn forge hammer. Without speaking a word, the brothers took up position opposite each other, and focusing all of the might and essence into the hammers, they swung, and the hammers met mid air. The earth itself shook from the fury of the blow, and afterwards both brothers collapsed, having spent their full energy in that single blow. Many miles away, another battle raged, this one fought by the armies of the two great kingdoms, but fought with the implements of the two brothers. This battle was one such as was never seen before, and in the end not a soldier remained, and the earth itself wept for their bloodshed. When the two brothers left that night, they did so with a shadow bearing upon them. While they were unaware of the blood that had been spilled that day, deep down inside they knew of what horrors would be committed with the weapons they had forged.
Time continued to leave the brothers untouched, and the cycle repeated again and again. Each time the brothers faced each other wielding only their forge hammers. And each time their conflict was marked by the bloodshed of many through the implements of war the brothers had forged. Each time the skill of the brothers increased, and the earth shook more violently under the striking of the hammers.
Finally, the inevitable happened. The brothers met again, as they had done some many times before. And with all the strength and focus they could muster, they delivered a single blow, and their hammers met mid air. When the earth had settled from their blow, the two brothers were amazed to find that the Earth-Blade they had forged so many years ago had shattered, and it's pieces lie strewn along the ground. But the power of the blow delivered that day was greater than either of the brothers could have anticipated, and slowly the earth itself began to show cracks and divisions just like the blade. Before the brother's eyes the land divided and the kingdoms of the north and south fell into chaos and ruin. The world changed overnight, and in the new dawn, the brothers emerged as changed men. They awoke as the first the worldsmiths.
I’ve always enjoyed creating tech-bases, that is developing the culture, technology, and legends of a fictional world, but I’ve never been very good at doing anything with them. Quite a while ago I came up with the Legend of the Worldsmiths, and have been fleshing It out in my mind ever since. Since the Worldsmiths’ legend is one of the shorter things I have come up with, I decided to try and type it out, after two and a half hours of work, here it is. There are probably quite a few grammatical errors, but I mainly want to know your opinions on the story itself, and of course the story telling.
P.S. The names I just pulled out of nowhere, so they may be crap, just replace them with whatever names you like.
-------------------------------------------------------------
A great many years ago, in a land that can no longer be found, there came a reign of two great kings. Kirimoth, the great king of the north, and Garam, Great king of the south. These kings lead their people to great prosperity and glory, but eventually they came to make war upon each-other. The war between these two kingdoms lasted long after the kings themselves had passed on, and the people no longer remembered the first battle cries. Much blood was spilled on both sides, but the ones who suffered the most were those people who lived in the wooded regions between the northern and southern kingdoms. These people allied them selves not with either side, but yet they could not escape the consequences of the Great War. The story was an often-told one, two great armies would come to bear not far from a village. Eventually, one of the armies would come to be routed, and the survivors would retreat, and come to take shelter in the near by village. The wounded solders rarely spared thought for the villagers, and simply took what they needed, often by force if necessary. The stores and supplies of the village would be decimated, and the wills of its people would be broken. Before long the opposing army, having re-grouped from the previous battle, would march through the village, often setting fire to the homes and farms they found in order to flush out the remains of the defeated army, and sometimes even killing the villagers themselves as though they were aiding the enemy. For these villages there was little piece, as neither side gave though of the atrocities committed, nor were the villagers any match for the great armies that rode through their lands, staining them with blood.
In one of these small villages, their came to be a blacksmith of considerable talent. He dedicated his work to the making of weapons and armor so that the people of his village would be able to defend themselves should it ever pass that they become involved in this Great War. Fortune had spared the village for some time, and the Blacksmith came to rear two sons, both strong and hearty, and with a skill matching their fathers. They took to the forge with the same passion that their father had. Not long after these two brothers had come of age than the wheel of fortune had turned, and the great armies of the north and south met in a field only a few furlongs from the village. On the evening of the great battle, a small band of solders who had been wounded and escaped from battle came upon the village, and intended on taking refuge. However, the people of this village were not prepared to accept their fate silently, and the solders were met by the arms and armor of the blacksmith and his two sons born by all the men of the village. The battle was short, and the solders were turned away, but the blacksmith had sustained a mortal wound and passed before dawn.
The two brothers mourned their loss greatly, and swore an oath to avenge their father and all those to whom this war had brought injustice. Driven by their loss, and the hardheaded notions of youth, the two brothers made their way west into the great Ujeal Mountains. There, the two brothers took to the great rocks with nothing but their hands and their forge hammer, and from them they harvested a pack's worth of ore. The two brothers then headed south, where the climbed the slopes of the sleeping volcano of Almati. In the great heat of Almati they smelted the ore, and began to shape a blade in the fires of the earth. Once the blade had been shaped they carried it, still glowing from the earth-fires, north unto the glaciers of the frozen Valleys, and there in the icy streams they tempered the blade. Finally, again returning to the Ujeal Mountains the ground the blade into a deadly edge upon the granite slopes. The blade thus forged was one to which no man could recon with, indeed the brothers had forged the first Earth-Blade.
It had been several years since the two brothers had left their village, and with the Earth-Blade in hand they returned home to begin their quest for retribution. However, when the two brothers arrived they found their village burned and ruined. Amongst the ruins of their old home, the two brothers felt a great rage welling up inside of them, yet they could not resolve who it was that would carry the Earth-Blade into battle and seek justice for those slain here. Finally, the two brothers agreed that they would resolve this with a contest of skill. They thrust the Earth-Blade into their father’s anvil that stood still amongst the ruins, and their it stuck tight. They then agreed that they would meet in a year and a day upon their very grounds, and equipped with only the best arms and armor they could forge, the would fight to find out who would carry the Earth-Blade into battle.
When the two brothers left their ruined home, one of them headed north, and the other south. Each brother opened up their own smithy on outskirts of the two great kingdoms, and there they toiled, seeking to improve their skills, and to manufacture for that fateful day the best weapon and the best armor that they could.
When a year and a day had passed, the two brothers indeed met upon the ruins of their old home and stood before the Earth-Blade. Each one wore a suit of armor greater than any worn in the armies of the two great kingdoms, and each one wielded a sword of equal making. Fueled by their desire for revenge, but free of anger for each other, the two brothers began to fight. Their battle lasted a day, and in the end both brothers had broken their shields and swords upon each other, yet there was no clear victor. Exhausted, the two brothers agreed to meat again, this time in five years time, to again battle for the right to seek revenge. They then returned to their respective forges, and began anew to push their skills and developed their craft.
When Five years had passed, the two brothers again met over the ruins of their old home, this time bearing armor finer than any king had ever worn. With greater passion than before they battled, and through their battle, the sun set and rose again. On the evening of the second day, both brothers found themselves again having broken their shields and swords upon each other, and despite tremendous skill they was no clear victor. So again they agreed to match skills in five years. Another two times this pattern repeated itself, each time the brothers met in finer armor than before, and each time the battle would last longer than the time before, but there was never a clear victor, and so the great Earth-Blade remained impaled within their fathers anvil.
During this time, the skill of the two brothers became a thing of legend, and while no stories were told of their origins nor of the great blade they had forged tougher, it soon came to pass that many great heroes came to these brothers in order to equip themselves for their glorious battles. In time the skill of the brothers even came to the attention of the two kings of the great kingdoms of the north and south. Each king sent for one of the brothers, and having brought him before the court, ordered him to begin equipping the royal armies. Finding themselves in no position to object, the two brothers began forging armor and weapons of the finest quality to be carried into battle by the very armies that had destroyed their homes. Each brother worked furiously, fussing their mind such that they could developed their skills and wield the blade they had forged, and that they could seek revenge against the kingdoms whose employment they now kept.
Again five years passed, and the two brothers, seemingly untouched by the ravages of time, slipped out for their fateful confrontation. Unknown to the brothers, two great armies, each equipped with the weapons and armor forged by one of the brothers, also left to fulfill their destiny, When the two brothers met, they stood not in the armor they had forged, but this time they stood before each other wearing nothing but the clothes of their trade. They wielded not a sword, but instead each healed in their hands a worn forge hammer. Without speaking a word, the brothers took up position opposite each other, and focusing all of the might and essence into the hammers, they swung, and the hammers met mid air. The earth itself shook from the fury of the blow, and afterwards both brothers collapsed, having spent their full energy in that single blow. Many miles away, another battle raged, this one fought by the armies of the two great kingdoms, but fought with the implements of the two brothers. This battle was one such as was never seen before, and in the end not a soldier remained, and the earth itself wept for their bloodshed. When the two brothers left that night, they did so with a shadow bearing upon them. While they were unaware of the blood that had been spilled that day, deep down inside they knew of what horrors would be committed with the weapons they had forged.
Time continued to leave the brothers untouched, and the cycle repeated again and again. Each time the brothers faced each other wielding only their forge hammers. And each time their conflict was marked by the bloodshed of many through the implements of war the brothers had forged. Each time the skill of the brothers increased, and the earth shook more violently under the striking of the hammers.
Finally, the inevitable happened. The brothers met again, as they had done some many times before. And with all the strength and focus they could muster, they delivered a single blow, and their hammers met mid air. When the earth had settled from their blow, the two brothers were amazed to find that the Earth-Blade they had forged so many years ago had shattered, and it's pieces lie strewn along the ground. But the power of the blow delivered that day was greater than either of the brothers could have anticipated, and slowly the earth itself began to show cracks and divisions just like the blade. Before the brother's eyes the land divided and the kingdoms of the north and south fell into chaos and ruin. The world changed overnight, and in the new dawn, the brothers emerged as changed men. They awoke as the first the worldsmiths.
"Well, if I am not drunk, I am mad, but I trust I can behave like a gentleman in either
condition."... G. K. Chesterton
“questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself”
condition."... G. K. Chesterton
“questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself”