I'm desperate for another massassian paper, whether some one else wants to make it or I do it, I need ideas for the front page

Ideas so far:

- Top model's advances declined by massassi nerds (the-elizabeth).

- World War III instigated by Emon/Yoshi

- Vietnemese Brothel raided, Ruthven arrested and charged.

- Crisis : TimeWolfOfPast and his Ep III spoilers ensures no massasians bother actually seeing movie in cinema. George Lucas distraught as LucasArts goes bankrupt.

- Pope Dies ... New head of Catholic church decided by POPE IDOL tv contest.

- Stop the press, Sarn Cadrill dies his hair. demands money back.

- Massassians unsure of each others gender since April fools joke goes awry.

- White Houses passes new law, "your mom" jokes outlawed, by pain of death and possible removal of internet connection !:eek:

- Happy birthday massassi.

- Lord of the Rings transfered into L33t language entitled "t3H Lr0d of t3H RiNgz". Saruman quoted as telling his Uruk-hai general "pwne those n00bZ!!" referring to the fellowship.

- GBK tells massassi he is leaving for good. Admins laugh histerically, Osiris dies from split sides.

Ideas? Flames?

also can someone post the 1st 3 copies of the massassian for me? kthx.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Looks good. You could also throw in any revolutioning JK things like some special COG or clever editing (like split screen). Just ideas.

And in the rumor/gosip column: A Massassian is Gay.
<.<
>.>
*hides in closet*

/Edward

Sarn dyes his hair. FYI.




moron.










fish.

How can you group me in the company of morans?

Unfortunately Jaiph already struck two really good things with "Allow Gebohq to institute an ISB draft system. Post or else!" under a stat-thing and the "erotic post accidentially made on NeS" article. If you can think of others that'd be cool.

Maybe something about breaking Guiness record for forum with most post your pic threads? Or OO-OO! Massassi RPG slated for the Phantom console system!

<_<

Get rid of:

- World War 3 Instigated
- White House passes new law
- Lord of the Rings

You could have something about "rumours of a Jedi Knight 4, for the source engine. also known by it's full name, 'Dark Forces 5: Jedi Knight 4: Jedi Outcast 3: Jedi Academy 2: Jedi Jar-Jar'"

Well, I believe this little bit speaks for itself.

I think something like "Vatican Idol" would sound better than "Pope Idol", but maybe it's just me.

<3

This one doesn't really have anything to do with Massassi at the moment. Could you rework it somehow - perhaps saying that of the two leading candidates for the new pope, one is a JED user and one a JKEdit user or something?

..Or, just like you know...not do that.

Don't try to force the funny, use in-jokes, don't make stuff up specifically for the paper.

How about "Production of 'Massassi MMO' taken over by 3D Realms."

oh, I got a mention. How nice.

how about,
"Sarn_Cadrill commits suicide after dealing with crazy girlfriend"
ehm?

"Kedri rumored to be candidate for Popedom."

Eh?

care to share that one dude?

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

How about people not butcher classics and instead be original?

That sounds like a splendid headline, Zulgin!

I don't understand whats going on..

Please enlighten us, awesome one.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

"Cazor loses Camera.

Endless repetetive photos dry up."

There's not much too it. It's called come up with your own ideas instead of ruining Jeff's. He ended it at three for a reason.

i'm not aware of stealing any of his jokes.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

He ended it because he didn't want to do it anymore, unless I'm mistaken. Why not pick up another one.

Here's an idea--don't criticize us for wanting to revive a classic. Seriously, it doesn't affect you, so why don't you just buzz off?

I saw the first two original ones a while back, but I never saw the third....can somebody post it?

A little bit that he was tired of doing it and a little bit of him knowing not to run things into the ground, as the tendancy is with most things around here. Especially since there's no one here that could pull it off with Jeff's class.

He ended it because it will never be funny again.

Bah. You all know I'm already running for pope. I will win the election!