(deleted for submission)

Brilliant. The piece is written very well, and the mental picture it paints is vivid and astounding - the work drips with emotion. I like it. Did the girl take reference from someone in real life?

I agree, I could never write something so, well... beautiful is the word for it

The english language has become a piece of art in your capable hands

*Ruthven gives the thumbs up*

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I like it!

(and secretely I'm a bit jealous...)

Thats amazing, I had to read it twice to really soak it all in. Very Very Very good. I hope you win the contest thingamado.

Did I seriously miss something? I'm not trying to be sarcastic, but maybe the meaning of this piece completelly eluded me and I can't appreciate it like everyone else is.

wow. thanks.

*blushes*

yeah, i know, jEDIkIRBY - it was just a 15 minutes piece i wrote 'cuz i was, ehm, 15 minutes away from the contest thingamado's deadline. heh. it's not a story per se - a scene, more like a (maybe a tad bit sloppy) painting with words, open for interpretation.



not really, the girl's there for a more generic woman-beauty-sin effect.

crap, i better be careful now, or my head will grow two sizes too big or something. heh. so, again, my sincere thanks for all those who took the time to read it. really appreciated.

I absolutely love it.