Another poem it seems!

As the sun fades from the heavens
The remnants of a golden day
Drift farther from my mind
Into the depths of dreams

As the light leaves the crimson skies
The evening falls upon the world
And thick darkness drapes across the earth
And covers my mind

The mind fades as my eyes close
That soporific night fills the mind
With simple, silent, sleep

Cold, dark, alone
Then
Alive!

The mind fills
Tossed by waves of doubt
Blown by winds of wants
Thrown deep, deep, deep
Into the depths of dreams

Suddenly

I’m soaring through the sky
Then falling with a cry
Into a frozen lake
Of the purest purple dye

A lie! It’s all a lie!
I’m not soaring though the sky
I am running on the sea
Water splashing in my eye
But the ocean sprouts a tree
Then a flower
Then a vine
A towering oak
A frosty pine
Then a hazy smoke!

I awake!

My eyes open for a moment
Then a wave of sleep falls once more
Washing me away
Throwing me deep, deep, deep
Into . . .

A throbbing crowd of noise
And a blinding sight of light
Black and blue, dark and pale
Ever stronger, ever fainter
In my heart, in my mind
Is it real, am I blind?

The trees are back
The sky is growing black
I brush against each tree
Then each tree grapples me
Drags me down into the ground
Never to be found
Deep, deep, deep
Into . . .

A room
Quiet, clean, and white
With an ever present light
A fire burning bright
Sending beams into the night

The night?
Where is the room?
It is gone, it is lost, but my mind cannot remember
Nor relieve my growing temper
Where my anger’s from I do not know
But it fills the night
Burning red, glowing gold
Then a blazing bluish cold
Ever higher, ever higher
Reaching with desire
Through the sky, past the sun, past the moon
Reaching for the stars.

I awake.

Please someone reply!

That has got to be the most awesome poem I've read in a while! The description is marvelous and it took me on a journey through the mind on the edge of the cliff of consciousness and as it plummets into dreamland. And just when I thought the dream was over, it shoots back into that wondrous sleepworld again.

*catches breath* So, I thought this was a really cool piece of writing, man.

reminded me of a bright eyes song. that's a good thing.

cool stuff. and i dont normally comment on poetry.

Please, please change it so that it ends with an exclamation point!

It would fit in with my view of the poem so much better. I didn't really feel dreams so much as bright flashes of exciting imagination. It was the quickness and energy of the poem that I liked.

I see dflt.mat

Thanks for the comments everyone! Just to let you know, I read this poem last night along with several others I have written at a poetry festival at my school. I tied for first place and won a prize!

I really wish I could read my poem, because I think maybe the way I read it would make the poem make much more sense (or at least how I intended it). Someone pointed out this was one of the problems with my poetry - it sounds REALLY good when "presented" by me (I have a good, loud, clear speaking voice and am also an amateur actor, so my presentation really helps improve the quality of my poetry), but just being read to yourself, it loses a lot of its punch.

I'm curious why you think it should end with an ! Smock? I did actually consider doing that at one point, but I kind of looked at it like this:

The poem was inspired by 3 things chiefly -
1) A Latin sentence I had translated into english (this gave me the theme and idea)
2) Bohemian Rhapsody (by Queen) gave me the idea of a really soft, gentle beginning, followed by some intense, hardcore rhymes in a nonsensical dream world, followed by the ultimate climax (with my anger "reaching to the stars") followed by a soft, gentle and abrupt "I awake"
3) Mr. Blue Sky (by the Electric Lights Orchestra) in many ways similar to BH by Queen, one of my favorite bands and songs. It too, has a long, slow and climactic build-up, followed by a gentle falling action/denoument, if you will.

I also considered talking about when I woke up and the feelings I felt after the dream was over. A friend told me that he thought my poem "Wasn't finished." I'm really kind of torn on the issue. I kind of like it as is - you go through all this crazy stuff, and then you wake up, leaving the rest up to the reader. I put a period instead of an exclamation point because when you woke you were calm, somber, and in control as oppsed to wild, shaken up, and alarmed. It's hard to describe with just text, but maybe if I read it, it would make sense.

I dunno Smock, maybe I should put a !, what do you think?

Using an exclamation point there would keep with the theme of excitement that runs throughout the rest of the poem. I would like it because you go to sleep really calm, have really awesome dreams and then wake up excited about life. Really, it's that I want a happy ending and right now I don't really feel one.