The whole SAJN debacle has reminded me that I've been writing a bit lately, and even though I'm wary of posting my poetry on massassi, I've been looking for criticism for a while now. Feel free to slam it if you think it sucks, but here's some of my stuff--keep in mind most of it's done in like 10-20 minutes with little to no revision.
Originally posted by When The Wall Went Down:
I was there when the wall went down,
I was sitting in the middle of the town.
Now some of you may think I'm talking about Berlin,
But I wouldn't even contrive to pride myself in something so jive.
No, this wall I'm speaking of isn't in the eyes of any man,
It's in my soul, and its destruction was an elaborate plan,
It seems, of some force of destruction out there, maybe some distant land.
See every man has a breaking point, and mine's right here,
I tried and I tried year after fear after tear,
I poured my soul into everything I touched,
And I even tried not caring all that much,
But in the end it seems nothing could keep it away,
Nothing could keep this force of destruction at bay.
I was there when the wall went down,
I was in fact the people in the town,
And in that town everyone went wild,
And chaos ranged mile after mile.
I was there when the wall went down,
And it's killing the people in this town,
And all the "Turn that frown upside down"s
Won't change the fact that I wear no crown,
I have no greatness to distinguish myself from any other,
And find myself inheriting the scars left from my mother.
I was there when the wall went down,
And now I've gotta get out of this town.
Even if only for a little bit, I need to find solace,
For I feel my stupidity is echoed in chorus,
By every action I take from here on after,
And I've gotta reaffirm my strength so I can withstand the laughter.
Skeletons in my closet came to life,
Came to remind me of the strife,
Came to remind me I could always turn to the knife,
Came to judge me without a sound,
Came to tear my wall down.
I was sitting in the middle of the town.
Now some of you may think I'm talking about Berlin,
But I wouldn't even contrive to pride myself in something so jive.
No, this wall I'm speaking of isn't in the eyes of any man,
It's in my soul, and its destruction was an elaborate plan,
It seems, of some force of destruction out there, maybe some distant land.
See every man has a breaking point, and mine's right here,
I tried and I tried year after fear after tear,
I poured my soul into everything I touched,
And I even tried not caring all that much,
But in the end it seems nothing could keep it away,
Nothing could keep this force of destruction at bay.
I was there when the wall went down,
I was in fact the people in the town,
And in that town everyone went wild,
And chaos ranged mile after mile.
I was there when the wall went down,
And it's killing the people in this town,
And all the "Turn that frown upside down"s
Won't change the fact that I wear no crown,
I have no greatness to distinguish myself from any other,
And find myself inheriting the scars left from my mother.
I was there when the wall went down,
And now I've gotta get out of this town.
Even if only for a little bit, I need to find solace,
For I feel my stupidity is echoed in chorus,
By every action I take from here on after,
And I've gotta reaffirm my strength so I can withstand the laughter.
Skeletons in my closet came to life,
Came to remind me of the strife,
Came to remind me I could always turn to the knife,
Came to judge me without a sound,
Came to tear my wall down.
Originally posted by In The Event of my Demise:
In the event of my demise,
I want you all to realize,
That nothing I say is all that wise,
And most everything's a pack of lies
Oh god but the world outside
Where from it can I run to hide
I feel as if there's none to whom I can confide
And so I must endure the bounces of this ride
Alone.
Find myself in my home,
Going on like a drone
Work, play, talk on the phone,
As they say, when in Rome...
Why is nothing anymore new
I came here plausibly to tame this shrew
But found instead this horrid stew
In which was my witches' god's brew.
And yes my mother's god is a woman
And no I can't find where I see this goin
But like anything else in my life I'm showin
Just the fact that I can keep on flowin
Just gotta keep trudging on and on
Take another swig of that dom perignon
Tell yourself everything's not already gone
As you test the fates, peelin' out on the lawn...
In the event of my demise
I just want you to realize
Why I left that world of American Pies
And got out of the habit of tellin lies
And decided maybe goin straight was more wise
Than throwin your life to the bees in the hive
Because honey is what you make it,
Not just that drone's spit
And every flavor is a little different
So you gotta keep goin no matter how sour your honey might get.
I want you all to realize,
That nothing I say is all that wise,
And most everything's a pack of lies
Oh god but the world outside
Where from it can I run to hide
I feel as if there's none to whom I can confide
And so I must endure the bounces of this ride
Alone.
Find myself in my home,
Going on like a drone
Work, play, talk on the phone,
As they say, when in Rome...
Why is nothing anymore new
I came here plausibly to tame this shrew
But found instead this horrid stew
In which was my witches' god's brew.
And yes my mother's god is a woman
And no I can't find where I see this goin
But like anything else in my life I'm showin
Just the fact that I can keep on flowin
Just gotta keep trudging on and on
Take another swig of that dom perignon
Tell yourself everything's not already gone
As you test the fates, peelin' out on the lawn...
In the event of my demise
I just want you to realize
Why I left that world of American Pies
And got out of the habit of tellin lies
And decided maybe goin straight was more wise
Than throwin your life to the bees in the hive
Because honey is what you make it,
Not just that drone's spit
And every flavor is a little different
So you gotta keep goin no matter how sour your honey might get.
D E A T H
