I've decided to change the poems on http://www.myspace.com/contrafribularities because of all the comments that my poems are 'emo'. So I have decided that I am going to include different styles of poetry. A Feel-good poem, a comedic poem, and a serious poem. What do you think of these three representing the feel of the book over the three that are currently on the myspace page? Also, feel free to rip these apart as long as you can state reasons why you are doing so, and also ways that you think I should improve. The other thread got ripped up, so here is a fresh thread for people to run around on.


GRASS

I've always fed the upper class
While I've been fed by the earth
Accepting gifts from the greenest grass
Since the months before my birth

And the grass always turns greener
And my gifts are never poor
But the upper class gets keener
And my grass requires more

But while the world is sleeping
I'm working on my grass
And while the world is weeping
I'm working on my grass

For me the time is constant
And the time is always green
But the time that grass can grant
Cannot always be seen

For some it may take weeks
But for me it's seconds gone
Where some will see bare peaks
And I will see a lawn

While the earth can see my gift
The upper class is clearly blind
With no intent for using thrift
The upper class is clearly blind

But I'd rather see them waste
Useless items such as gold
When gold can be replaced
And useless items can be sold

Because as long as I can keep
My grass, so green and bold
I'll always have a gift to reap
More valuable than gold

So don't fear the upper class
Because eventually they'll fall
And as long as I have my grass
I'll be richer than them all

-------

PSYCHO

A psychologist knows the mind
They know how it works
Why it works
When it works

A psychologist knows women
They know how they work
Why they work
When they work

A psychologist should know men
They should know how they work
Why they work
When they work

So why does MY psychologist
Get angry at me
When I stare at her cleavage?

-------

FOR MY TRANQUILITY

You tuck me in at night and kiss me on the cheek
You're lips can speak tranquility better than most
When most lips would be afraid to speak

I tremble beneath a layer of darkness frozen to a shine
And you come back to me with the only truth you know
A makeshift comfort that comforts me divine

My pillow feels as if it's had more heads to roll than one
And so I turn around to knead the guests that don't belong
But the guests were already done

I stare deep into the sky with eyes and mind the same
I look past the heavy darkness when I catch a sudden glimpse
A passing light had made it's claim

My thoughts catch up to me and my nerves being to dance
The light has turned around and passed before my eyes
As the darkness leaves me with a glance

I look for my tranquility but I fear she's not around
My independent fantasies were all but burning through
A hope that my tranquility was simply abound

But the feeling of tranquility remains upon my cheek
Her lips could speak tranquility better than most
When most lips were afraid to speak

Don't take down art just because someone thinks you're emo.

It's still in the book, I just figured that if everyone reads these three poems and thinks I'm 'emo' people might be turned off by the book. These three are very different poems, and should give people a better idea of what the book is like.

bump for the a.m. (Also updated the FAQ on the site)

That was fast. How much time did you spend on each poem?

These aren't new, they are just different selections from the book.

I've always fed the upper class
While I've been fed by the earth
Accepting gifts from the greenest grass
Since the months before my birth

And the grass always turns greener
And my gifts are never poor
But the upper class gets keener
And my grass requires more

---------------

That sounds frighteningly like the opening verse to Big Balls by AC/DC o.O

lol

kind of, not really, maybe, not kind of....But I do see what you mean

But we've got the biggest balls of them all!