Some of you have heard this before. LANGUAGE:

More tomorrow.

Don't everyone comment at once.

Also, what do you think of this beta cover?

I hate all of you.

Dang. I didn't notice that no one other than you had commented. That always sucks to post something and not get feedback AT ALL.

Your humor is very far from my taste/style, (crude/off color?) so it's hard to give an accurate critique. The actual idea, though, is pretty clever. I mean, come on? Who doesn't want money with beautiful women on it?

George Washington is so awesome he should stay, but I'm sure it'd be okay to give him some company or something.

Well, it's intended to be very satirical. And of course, slam poetry has very crude humor.

Hahaha, that was so awesome.

haha, i liked it even though it pissed me off. :p

(Is there supposed to be no sound?)

that's better than most comedians nowadays..

Pretty funny material and a good performance. This might be a stupid question, but what exactly are you satirizing?

... What? Why did it piss you off? And no, there's sound.

Also, it's not satire of a particular thing. More a satire of what an economist might say. A satire of "popularizing" money.

I could draw a furry...

We have different outlooks on life is all. That's ok. I can get over myself long enough to enjoy it (which I did).

I still don't understand? I thought it was a purely entertaining poem with an opinionless commentary about the obsession people have with owning money. And feel free to share your opinion, no one's doing that in this thread anyway. You'd hardly be derailing.

Updated cover.

Why are you all such horrible people?

whine whine whine

the cover is nice i guess, it's pretty plain... plus i don't get the joke

It's really sad that people laugh at the sexist midget trying to be clever, inflating his ego.

And maybe your charming personality has something to do with people not responding to your threads.

Wouldn't it be great if vinny stopped posting his condescending and moral judgments every 5 minutes? People might be able to make a few ****ing jokes for once?

It's called satire. If you've got any ****ing clue, you'd realize that I'm making fun of our sexist, capitalistic materialism of women and money. But no, Vinny doesn't hear that. That doesn't let him shine his morality badge. **** off. You do this in every thread you post in, lately. Guess what? You're not a moral beacon of hope in the fallen debris of justice. You're just trying to condescend everyone into thinking you're Jon`C. Stop, it's not working.

[Also, editing this post and banning me isn't going to do anything but avoid the subject. Please try defending yourself with something other than the edit button.]

I don't know who you are describing in your post, or who you are accusing of editing your post, but it surely can't be me. Because (a) I didn't edit your post, (b) I am not attempting to be a moral beacon and (c) I could never be as dismissive as Jon`C. I don't see myself as being superior to everyone else. That's you.

You even admit to it! Let's read:

"And your comments* about my attitude are probably spot on. Massassi is a cesspool of stupidity now adays." -JediKirby

*"Sorry, tiny, but if there's a picky elitist prick here, its you? I've seen you post lots of negative words left and right on these forums about stuff you did not like. And, funny enough, your opinion is generally in the minority bin." -Jep

But whatever.

Oh, and just so you know, this and my previous post weren't attacks. They were observations.

heh, that was actually better than a lot of stand-up i've seen in LA.

I assumed you'd edit my post. And I don't see how my disdain for the community has anything to do with you calling me sexist and misinterpreting my "I hate you all" posts as anything more that jovial bumps.

I thought the first was was funny.

I don't get it though, this is poetry? It seems like stand up comedy.

In a chair (you're sitting).

I'll tell you why I didn't click on it till now... it says 'poetry' in the title and I've learned to avoid poetry showcase threads on Massassi. Having said that, your stuff actually made me laugh out loud here at work. (I wouldn't call it poetry though).

Slam poetry. Don't even start trying to debate what is or isn't poetry. This is widely accepted slam poetry. Period.

Not my style though. But still cool.

Yeah, I can tell it's poetry by some of the stylistic decisions you make... you're not just yelling, you do use some 'literary devices'... your repetition of 'I can't write' (forgot the line, haven't watched for a few days) for one.

There are many, actually. Dissonance is one of the major devices in the second piece. Lots of internal rhyme, etc.

Also, listen to any Ginsberg poems and you'll find the same. "Oh man, that isn't poetry" until you look closer.