[CENTER]The Man on the Television[/CENTER]

The man on the television
Sings through the pain
His face so like his
Familiar, yet alien
In that time
So close

The man on the television
Uses his tools
Discordant melody
His hands like his
Worn by his work

The cold light washes over me
Six months
A new year
And finally

A tear

wow. i thought poetry was popular in here. i thought i'd at least get a "you suck" from someone.

Eh, I really don't like it. Mostly because I don't like having to "figure out" poetry, but also because phrases like 'cold light washes over me' are so trite that I can't really give it a decent chance.

But that doesn't mean I don't want you to keep posting poetry. As long as you're willing to work at being a better poet, we like reading it here.

yes, i agree, the cold light bit is kind of rank. it was for an assignment and its supposed to be descriptive of a moment of grief one had. (or rather its supposed to be thematically similar to poems we read as homework/in class, which were all grief related.)

i wonder if i could write it differently so its meaning is more clear.

Ditto for the cold light part, but then again if it's for an assignment, that can force it into something that doesn't sound right.

To be honest I'm not amazed, but it's better than what I can do.