'tis a morn of merriness
a day quite sorrowless
gather 'round the evergreen
which we chop down oh so clean
and the pig squeals in agony
since the cut missed the artery
my mom can't contain herself
as dad's ashes fall off the shelf
in the ditch there lies a bum
his saliva is mixed with rum
I see a girl who's holding back
her mom from doing crack
some kids just ran a mile
from a Santa pedophile
there's a whorehouse where used to be
a place for the Christmas tree
a day quite sorrowless
gather 'round the evergreen
which we chop down oh so clean
and the pig squeals in agony
since the cut missed the artery
my mom can't contain herself
as dad's ashes fall off the shelf
in the ditch there lies a bum
his saliva is mixed with rum
I see a girl who's holding back
her mom from doing crack
some kids just ran a mile
from a Santa pedophile
there's a whorehouse where used to be
a place for the Christmas tree
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.