EDITED - story bought by Abyss & Apex, so I'm removing the draft. Thanks for all the support!

Well, I just read your story, so ha! Though it'd help if you posted stories on the ISB -- we do non-interactive stories too, you know.

I don't know what sort of feedback you may or may not be looking for, so I'll just give my general thoughts.

Good: You show me the type of world this story is set in very well in a very economical manner. You didn't need pages and pages for me to get the idea, just enough to convey the story. The conflict is also something I appreciate -- it's not some far-flung epic story, just a guy needing to be inspired.

Bad: It came off a little preachy with the idea of communication-connection via modern/future technology making us less human, but I'm hesitant to really call this bad at all because it doesn't REALLY end with the main character being happy with the change at all, so in that case I feel you at least stuck well with the characters. On a more specific point, I didn't understand why an artificial waiter/chef would be speaking stereotypical Chinese (which, by the way, I feel could have been tweaked better even if you were to stick with the stereotypical speech style).

Keep it up, Koobie! I've found most of your stuff good to read.

He speaks stereotypically for the same reason the real life ones do it now. 'Authenticity'.

I was ready to pass this over cause I don't often read the stories, songs or poems posted here, but the first line caught my attention.

I enjoyed it.

Actually I started reading a few paragraphs in, and never read the very beginning, and now that I have I can say that it could be entirely cut. The story could start right at the description of the ad that sends him to the chinese restaurant.

Incidentally, ads don't say things; they are read.

Wow, turns out all I had to do was whine a little. Thanks for the replies, guys, much appreciated (especially the crits)!

Gebohq
Thanks for taking the time to comment! I'm very glad it doesn't come out as too flowery or overworded. Any ideas on how to make this sound less preachy? Preachy is certainly something I don't want to be. Or do you mean it's the plot idea in general that comes off as preachy? I'll try to give ISB a go next time I'm in dire need of crits, BTW. Again, thanks for the feedback!

Grant
Thanks reading! Glad to hear you liked it! I kind of had my doubts about the first line working, so I'm def. happy to hear that it works for you!

JM
Very good point. This will probably see a couple more re-writes - I'll try to come up with some way to cut the excessive intro. I remember reading some tips on storytelling by Ray Bradburry and he says to start AS CLOSE TO THE END AS POSSIBLE. This definetly something I want to do with the stuff I write. And good catch w/ the "read" vs "say" for the ad. Thanks again! Cheers!