Never wrote a Western before, but there was a friendly "contest" to do so on a writing board, thought I'd do it just for kicks. The story had to be under 1,500 words, hence the format of choice. I'm not particularly impressed with what I came up with, but as always, all and any opinions on how to make it less crap are more than welcome! Let me know what you think!
The Love and Death of Alice Waddell
By Maxim Salnikov
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 13
Need help. Two of my dignitaries, Harry Parker and Tony Griggorio, failed to return after their assignment to the town of Witchtown. I have dispatched them to negotiate a buy-out of the Thirsty Miner, local drinking establishment, two weeks prior and have not heard from them since. Police refuses to take action. Please send Pinkerton agents at once to search for my employees and assist in facilitating the deal with the establishment's current owner. Advance payment to be issued to agents on their arrival to Salem.
Graham J. Rogers, Rogers & Sons,
Salem, Massachusetts
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 25
Arrived safely to Witchtown, partner stayed behind as planned. Witchtown is a former mining town with its own railroad station and a working telegraph. For $1.0 a week I can operate the telegraph at my discretion. Population is 20. I'm posing as a leather goods salesman on my way to better prospects down the Ipswich River. Mr. Rogers was kind to buy wares stock in Salem at own expense and covered rent of horse and carriage.
I was greeted into town by Sheriff Buckley, father of Lara Buckley, owner of the Thirsty Miner. The Sheriff did not make any references to Mr. Parker or Mr. Griggorio, and I did not want to appear too curious. I arranged for lodgings at Mrs. Flynn’s who is the wife to Sam Flynn, owner of Sam’s General Goods. It is apparent that she and Sam had a falling out and Sam had been spending his nights at the store. As not to cast the situation in the wrong light, I feel that I must add that Mrs. Flynn is well into her latter years.
The house is right behind Sam’s General Goods, neighbouring the church. To South West on the street opposite to Mrs. Flynn's are the stables, town jail, sheriff’s office, the telegraph, and the Thirsty Miner. Will report progress as the investigation continues. Expecting Jeremy to arrive from Salem in four days time.
Agent Samuel Derby,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
* * *
Dear Diary,
Today, I met a Man.
It’s Alabama and I’m running a good business selling fake insurance bonds to the local hard working folks of one town or another when he walks out of a bank. A bag over his shoulder and a Smith & Wesson in hand, just like that. A robber. A gunslinger. Not just any man, but a Man.
And where am I? Standing in an empty street between the robber and the the sheriff and two of his deputies behind me. Good luck, Alice. I want to move away but stare at the Man instead, like a bunny hypnotized by a beautiful venomous cobra. His hat’s hiding most of his face but I can still see his mouth. His lips. He’s smiling. He is enjoying himself. He doesn’t know that this bunny knows how to rip her cobras apart.
Before the sheriff can speak, the Man jumps towards me, and, in a moment, the barrel of his revolver is pressed into my forehead.
“Ma’am,” says the Man, “You’re going to have to come with me.”
I could fall in love.
Alice W.
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 26
Lara Buckley claims to never have heard of Harry Parker or Tony Griggorio, says saloon is not for sale. She is the widow of John Buckley who worked as underboss in the mine when it collapsed. The town makes most of its living from the saloon, the cattle farmers in the surroundings area being its regulars. As one patron told me, "It's nearby and ye can always crash in the church if ye too drunk too ride and all the rooms are full."
Sold some wares at a discount price to Mr. Flynn. With the exception of my landlady Mrs. Flynn, the locals are not very talkative. Mrs. Flynn told me that the town got its name because of the mass graves of the late 1600's. Now I can't help but think that I'm walking over the bones of hundreds of women executed during the Salem witch trials. Mrs. Buckley has strong influence on all towns people, including my new "business partner" at Sam’s General Goods. Hope to solve case soon.
Agent Samuel Derby,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 28
Agent Derby is dead. When I got to Salem his body was hanging from a roof beam of the abandoned train station with a plaque reading RAPIST suspended from his neck. It looked like he was severely beaten before he was hanged. I immediately introduced myself as Agent Jeremy Jones of the Pinkerton National Detective Agency to Sheriff Buckley, here to find Mr. Parker and Mr. Griggorio.
When I inquired about the body of my partner, trying as hard as I could not to take out my six shooter and cut the number Sheriff Buckley's testicles in two, he said the following, "The sanuva***** had it coming. Yesterday the ******* breaks into my daughter's house with his fly open and foam at the mouth. Luckily, I was nearby and managed to intervene. This is what happens to rapists in Witchtown, Sir, this ain't Chicago."
Did not reveal that Sam was my partner. Rented room at Mrs. Flynn's, but no indication of what had transpired. Going to interview Sam Flynn after sending the telegram, will try to arrange for a decent burial for Sam. Urgently require profile of Sheriff Buckley, Lara Buckley, Sam Flynn. Expect updates tomorrow.
Agent Jeremy Jones,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
* * *
Dear Diary,
We left Alabama behind and rode through Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia… We made friends, killed many enemies, and made sweet love along the way. Explosions, smell of gunpowder, easy money, just me and him against the world. They call us the The Double Dead Pair on the account of the bounties on our heads. We wear the moniker with pride. But I know that one day such life will come to an end. We will be either shot or hanged or both and I feel that it's high time we look for better prospects.
I am in love. And love should last forever.
Alice W.
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 1020 One Way St., Witchtown, Massachusetts
1888, August 28
We have no records for Sam Flynn, Lara Buckley or any other persons mentioned in the received telegrams with the exception of Sheriff Mark Buckley. The Sheriff is a veteran, fought for the blues, assigned to Witchtown from Salem in 1880. Wife deceased. No children.
Agent Norbert West,
Chicago, Illinois
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 2504 Harper St., Salem, Massachusetts
1888, August 28
For the attention of Graham J. Rogers.
Send help immediately. Need peace officers and the fire brigade. In case I do not survive please forward this to Pinkerton National Detective Agency at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois. There may not be time to write two telegrams.
I am wounded, held up in the telegraph office. I confronted Lara Buckley in the saloon on the basis of the received telegram. She was hysterical and fired at me. I caught one in the shoulder, fired back. I think I got her but can't be sure. At which point I was attacked by the Sheriff. I shot him in the knee, then the elbow, and dragged him to the telegraph office. Apart from the telegraph, the benefits are the cage door and the fact it's made of brick.
Had to shoot the Sheriff in his other knee but learnt that Lara Buckley is Alice Waddell of the famous Double Dead Pair of the 70's. Her husband was visiting his mine when it collapsed. I think they know where I am. Sam Flynn is a gang member. In the confusion the town folks thought I was still in the Thirsty Miner and set it on fire. The whole town is in on it. I can hear Sam cheering on the crowd to drag me out on the street and quarter me. Have 14 more bullets, another six in Buckley's Remington. That's enough to kill them all and still shoot the ****er twice.
Agent Jeremy Jones,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
The Love and Death of Alice Waddell
By Maxim Salnikov
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 13
Need help. Two of my dignitaries, Harry Parker and Tony Griggorio, failed to return after their assignment to the town of Witchtown. I have dispatched them to negotiate a buy-out of the Thirsty Miner, local drinking establishment, two weeks prior and have not heard from them since. Police refuses to take action. Please send Pinkerton agents at once to search for my employees and assist in facilitating the deal with the establishment's current owner. Advance payment to be issued to agents on their arrival to Salem.
Graham J. Rogers, Rogers & Sons,
Salem, Massachusetts
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 25
Arrived safely to Witchtown, partner stayed behind as planned. Witchtown is a former mining town with its own railroad station and a working telegraph. For $1.0 a week I can operate the telegraph at my discretion. Population is 20. I'm posing as a leather goods salesman on my way to better prospects down the Ipswich River. Mr. Rogers was kind to buy wares stock in Salem at own expense and covered rent of horse and carriage.
I was greeted into town by Sheriff Buckley, father of Lara Buckley, owner of the Thirsty Miner. The Sheriff did not make any references to Mr. Parker or Mr. Griggorio, and I did not want to appear too curious. I arranged for lodgings at Mrs. Flynn’s who is the wife to Sam Flynn, owner of Sam’s General Goods. It is apparent that she and Sam had a falling out and Sam had been spending his nights at the store. As not to cast the situation in the wrong light, I feel that I must add that Mrs. Flynn is well into her latter years.
The house is right behind Sam’s General Goods, neighbouring the church. To South West on the street opposite to Mrs. Flynn's are the stables, town jail, sheriff’s office, the telegraph, and the Thirsty Miner. Will report progress as the investigation continues. Expecting Jeremy to arrive from Salem in four days time.
Agent Samuel Derby,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
* * *
Dear Diary,
Today, I met a Man.
It’s Alabama and I’m running a good business selling fake insurance bonds to the local hard working folks of one town or another when he walks out of a bank. A bag over his shoulder and a Smith & Wesson in hand, just like that. A robber. A gunslinger. Not just any man, but a Man.
And where am I? Standing in an empty street between the robber and the the sheriff and two of his deputies behind me. Good luck, Alice. I want to move away but stare at the Man instead, like a bunny hypnotized by a beautiful venomous cobra. His hat’s hiding most of his face but I can still see his mouth. His lips. He’s smiling. He is enjoying himself. He doesn’t know that this bunny knows how to rip her cobras apart.
Before the sheriff can speak, the Man jumps towards me, and, in a moment, the barrel of his revolver is pressed into my forehead.
“Ma’am,” says the Man, “You’re going to have to come with me.”
I could fall in love.
Alice W.
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 26
Lara Buckley claims to never have heard of Harry Parker or Tony Griggorio, says saloon is not for sale. She is the widow of John Buckley who worked as underboss in the mine when it collapsed. The town makes most of its living from the saloon, the cattle farmers in the surroundings area being its regulars. As one patron told me, "It's nearby and ye can always crash in the church if ye too drunk too ride and all the rooms are full."
Sold some wares at a discount price to Mr. Flynn. With the exception of my landlady Mrs. Flynn, the locals are not very talkative. Mrs. Flynn told me that the town got its name because of the mass graves of the late 1600's. Now I can't help but think that I'm walking over the bones of hundreds of women executed during the Salem witch trials. Mrs. Buckley has strong influence on all towns people, including my new "business partner" at Sam’s General Goods. Hope to solve case soon.
Agent Samuel Derby,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois
1888, August 28
Agent Derby is dead. When I got to Salem his body was hanging from a roof beam of the abandoned train station with a plaque reading RAPIST suspended from his neck. It looked like he was severely beaten before he was hanged. I immediately introduced myself as Agent Jeremy Jones of the Pinkerton National Detective Agency to Sheriff Buckley, here to find Mr. Parker and Mr. Griggorio.
When I inquired about the body of my partner, trying as hard as I could not to take out my six shooter and cut the number Sheriff Buckley's testicles in two, he said the following, "The sanuva***** had it coming. Yesterday the ******* breaks into my daughter's house with his fly open and foam at the mouth. Luckily, I was nearby and managed to intervene. This is what happens to rapists in Witchtown, Sir, this ain't Chicago."
Did not reveal that Sam was my partner. Rented room at Mrs. Flynn's, but no indication of what had transpired. Going to interview Sam Flynn after sending the telegram, will try to arrange for a decent burial for Sam. Urgently require profile of Sheriff Buckley, Lara Buckley, Sam Flynn. Expect updates tomorrow.
Agent Jeremy Jones,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
* * *
Dear Diary,
We left Alabama behind and rode through Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia… We made friends, killed many enemies, and made sweet love along the way. Explosions, smell of gunpowder, easy money, just me and him against the world. They call us the The Double Dead Pair on the account of the bounties on our heads. We wear the moniker with pride. But I know that one day such life will come to an end. We will be either shot or hanged or both and I feel that it's high time we look for better prospects.
I am in love. And love should last forever.
Alice W.
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 1020 One Way St., Witchtown, Massachusetts
1888, August 28
We have no records for Sam Flynn, Lara Buckley or any other persons mentioned in the received telegrams with the exception of Sheriff Mark Buckley. The Sheriff is a veteran, fought for the blues, assigned to Witchtown from Salem in 1880. Wife deceased. No children.
Agent Norbert West,
Chicago, Illinois
* * *
WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH
RECEIVED at 2504 Harper St., Salem, Massachusetts
1888, August 28
For the attention of Graham J. Rogers.
Send help immediately. Need peace officers and the fire brigade. In case I do not survive please forward this to Pinkerton National Detective Agency at 15910 Ventura Blvd., Chicago, Illinois. There may not be time to write two telegrams.
I am wounded, held up in the telegraph office. I confronted Lara Buckley in the saloon on the basis of the received telegram. She was hysterical and fired at me. I caught one in the shoulder, fired back. I think I got her but can't be sure. At which point I was attacked by the Sheriff. I shot him in the knee, then the elbow, and dragged him to the telegraph office. Apart from the telegraph, the benefits are the cage door and the fact it's made of brick.
Had to shoot the Sheriff in his other knee but learnt that Lara Buckley is Alice Waddell of the famous Double Dead Pair of the 70's. Her husband was visiting his mine when it collapsed. I think they know where I am. Sam Flynn is a gang member. In the confusion the town folks thought I was still in the Thirsty Miner and set it on fire. The whole town is in on it. I can hear Sam cheering on the crowd to drag me out on the street and quarter me. Have 14 more bullets, another six in Buckley's Remington. That's enough to kill them all and still shoot the ****er twice.
Agent Jeremy Jones,
Witchtown, Massachusetts
幻術
kind of sad when i got to the end, you definitely had me wanting to read more.