(deleted for sub, thank you)

Hey Koobear.

Interesting. So this is a story about "A girl who realizes she has the power to read minds, and experimenting on a person leads to a reciprocal mind-reading and a deep, immediate interpersonal connection neither anticipated" or something like that? I think that it's pretty successful at that... though I think it'd work a bit more if their reactions to the event were a little more "shocked"... I think you hit the 'joy' angle, but I find myself saying "Why are they just totally cool with the weird **** that just happened." Maybe what I mean is that the brevity of the story makes it feel like things worked out too perfectly or readily, that the emotional payoff you seem to be going for wasn't quite 'earned' yet? Hmm.

That final bit... She asks him how he knew she would pick up, but she called him, right? Or did I miss something there?

Anyway, nice work. Thanks for sharing!

Hey there saberopus.

Thanks for taking the time to read & comment, that's mighty nice of you.

>> So this is a story about "A girl who realizes she has the power to read minds, and experimenting on a person leads to a reciprocal mind-reading and a deep, immediate interpersonal connection neither anticipated" or something like that?

Something like that. It's not very polished, the comments I got were very much in line with what you've said: it's too rushed. Definitely have to expand it a little... Wrote it on the weekend, listening to reggae & CENSORED BY THE DRUG POLICE in the sun on a hill overlooking Budapest, was pretty awesome.

Was a fun story to write, too.

Thanks again.

Peace.

Nice spot!