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Thread: The Never-ending Story Thread

  1. #361
    Are's ghost reviews the first rule and comes back to life. Then banishes Gary's ghost forever.

    Krig lunges at Willis with his axe. He removes Willis's head with his axe, puts it in a bag, twirls around, and throws it as far as he can. It flies away, far out of the Arena, and into orbit. (Krig can do this because of the wonders of adreneline.)

    Meanwhile Homer Simson stands evilly over Gary's body.

    Homer:"Heeheehee, I have an evil plan to resurect Gary Coleman and get donuts!"

    Homer starts evil plan. He resurects Gary into a zombie-like monster(since Gary's soul was banished by Ares), who promptly runs away to UGO.

    Homer:"D'oh!"

    Uncle Tusk:"You look sad. Let's get some beer."

    Homer:"Beer?"

    Homer and Uncle Tusk start searching around the destroyed bar for stray cans of beer.

    Geb:"My, what a lot of new guys. I wonder what happened to Dr. Evil? Is he still trying to take over the world?"

    * * *
    Meanwhile, Darkside lurked mysteriously.
    * * *
    Meanwhile, the evil demon who had got elected Prime Minister of Canada has turned it into a evil communist country in which everyone is a slave.
    * * *
    Meanwhile, Enchilada Man flies around in his Enchilada ship, in deep space.
    * * *
    Meanwhile, Dr. Evil sits in his throne atop the big golf ball in DisneyWorld, plotting. Everywhere in DisneyWorld are statues of TottallyEvil and Dr. Evil. Dr. Evil chuckles an evil laugh, which doesn't sound evil because he's been breathing helium.

    What will become of this story? Will it degenerate into meaningless nonsense like before? Or will reason and logic triumph? Hah! Not likely!



    ------------------
    My mind is like a sponge, it soaks up a lot... but it leaks

    KRIG THE VIKING
    Member of the Rebellion against AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  2. #362
    *Ante, suddenly regaining composure after the loss of the bar, the booze, and the women, looks over only to meet with the ever-menacing visage of a certain disgruntled muppet and his legion of rubber aquatic birds. Thinking fast, Ante comes up with a plan that may be crazy enough to work (as if anything here isn't...)*

    Ante: Alright... I'm gonna need a cauldron... *1 cauldron falls from the sky* Thanks writers! Now, all I need is the souls of 10 million residents of the Bowels of Eternal Punishment (BEP) and a whole lot of sugar.

    *Finding the ingredients right next to him in a ditch (thanks again, writers), Ante begins his concoction. Working over a boiling hot cauldron filled with melted sugar, he adds the souls of the BEP residents, places them in a mold, and lets them cool for a few minutes. Within a half an hour, Ante commands his own legion of... (dramatic piano/drums mix)... MARSHMALLOW PEEPS!*

    Ante: Now, my pretties, go forth and defeat the evils of the duckies and their fowl furry master!

    *What next? Skylab falls again? Mir comes after it? Somebody takes control of the Rabbit Walkers? Maybe tries to eat the peeps? Otter finally gets the girl?... (nah, that'd be way too far out of an idea.) Well, we'll see next time, where the unexpected usually happens, and when it doesn't, well, somebody tries to think there's a plot.*
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  3. #363
    *Meanwhile-meanwhile-meanwhile-*

    *Geb the writer hits the recond. It goes on.*

    *Meanwhile, amidst teh epic abttle between teh peeps and duckies, Gebohq arms himself with a Slayer, a maniacal grin streaks across his face*

    Ante: Um..Geb, didn't we decide that you had an addiction problem with rocket-launching-like weapons some time ago?

    Geb: Hush you, this is much too fun.

    *As Ante was about to stop him, Geb turns on a personal cloaking device and hides away. Using hte secondary fire on the Slayer (fly-by-wire) Gebohq shoots it off, now seeing fromt eh rocket's POV.*

    *He directed the slow-moving rocket, up, down, through crevices and doorways and stairways, and finally in the middle of the epic battle. Gebohq smiled insanely, having gone over the edge from the chaos that was order, for as he saw it (now that he had started a real job also, much like Antestarr) Order was simply chaos that people liked to look at. Gebohq was also not only armed with teh cloacking device and the Slayer, but also the DD44 Dovesti, a combat knife, a sniper rifle, and much too much bubble wrap to keep himself protected and occupied for weeks.*

    Oh no! Our beloved Gebohq has gone over the edge! Has lost his marbles, short a few cards of a deck, snapped, needs to live in a happy home-- *Random person bashes narrator over head, which he is all too use to by now* Will Gebohq ever return to sanity, or run a muck of the entire story, not to mention his friends? Oh, let's nto kid ourself, Geb isn't harmful at all...unless someone provokes his girlfriend again, or something like that. Who wants to look for teh six pieces of teh armor of mars, er..Ares...er..and jump into a flying isle and attack a huge tank. What was that..oh, sorry, I'm jumping ahead in teh script here. Anyways, tune in next time, to *drumroll* the Neeeeverending Stooory!

    Director: Aaaand cut!

    Finally, I get to take my break now...wish I got two like the minors do...
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
    http://forums.theplothole.net

  4. #364
    *Out in teh darkness of Space, Enchilada_Man recieves a holographic message. In front of him appears Maybechild, garbed in a white outfit.*

    Maybe: Enchilada_man, we need your help more than ever. Ares, god of war, has returned and threatens to bring back normality into the Neverending Story. Gebohq has also gone insane, but that's of no importance. Hurry, please--and STOP TRYING TO UNDRESS MY HOLOGRAPHIC SELF!

    *As Enchilada_man was close to unzipping the white garb, teh holographic message abruptly vanishes.*

    Will Enchilada_man be able to save the day? Or will he need the help of Miss_Fire and Snyderman? Tune in--what? Nobody's contacted E-Man? Well, someone e-mail him for heaven's sake! Jeez...er, cheese and crackers. That's right, cheese and crackers will be somehow involved in teh next post, so stay tuned to find out how!
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
    http://forums.theplothole.net

  5. #365
    Krig and Sem are now walking aimlessly around the arena. When they come to the spot where Otter is looking for the crow's nest they find a wheel of cheese and some crackers labeled "Eat me."
    Krig: "Sir, yes SIR!"
    They eat the crackers and cheese.
    Sem: "Sem hungry was, hit the spot that did."
    Sem looks surprised at his own voice and goes to a mirror to look into it, only to find himself too short to see. Krig points out that Sem has become short, green, and furry.
    Sem: "THE STORYWRITERS BASTARDS ARE!!!!!!"
    Sem and Krig had been Yodafied, yes.
    Krig: "Krig funny is talking, mmm!"
    Suddenly Morris, attracted by the sweet smell of marshmallow peeps, bounds into the arena, looking hungry. But alas, Morris spots Sem and Krig first, and the chase begins.

    ------------------
    Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  6. #366
    Krig looks at his hands, his eyes wide with shock.

    Krig:"Yodafied, Krig is!"

    Krig's eyes get wider as he realizes that, unlike Sem, his speaking has actually gotten better as a result of the Yodafication. Krig removes his Viking helmet by the horns, and two big giant Yoda ears pop out.

    Krig:"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

    Krig then turns and sees Morris the Cat charging strait at him and Sem.

    Krig:"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    KRIG THE VIKING
    Member of the Rebellion against AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  7. #367
    And Admiral Mieler died a tragic death for no apparent reason.

    ------------------
    Official Stupid Remark Apologist
    Official Stupid Remark Apologist

  8. #368
    *Losien slowly walks up to the door; banging loudly she shouts, hoping someone will let her in*
    //On the set//
    "Will SOMEONE go answer the door! This person must not have any patients..err..I mean..patience!" sceamed the director.
    //A sound member opens the door//
    "Who are you?" he asks.
    *Looking around..Losien wonders where she can get those cheese and crackers*
    "I'm Losien, Gebohq's sister. Where are the cheese and cra.."
    "What are you doing here?" Asked the director," We're in the middle of filming and you've just interrupted us."
    "Oh..I'm sorry. I just wanted some cheese and cra.." softly replied Losien.
    //being cut off again..//
    " WELL WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHEESE AND CRAP.bows head in humilty) crackers...so you may leave."
    *Losien, being hurt at the statement made about have NO cheese and crackers...burries her face in her arms and sobs quietly...before breaking into laughter.*
    //Puzzled looks on all the crew and stage members faces.//
    "So, what do you think?" asked Losien.
    "What do you mean?" asked Joe.the sound guy)
    "Do you think I can join the crew? Can I be part of the show? I never thought I'd make it into something like this..but do you think I can try? (puppy-dog face)
    "well.."replied the director," You are great at "acting". You completely had us fooled with the fake crying thing..and..I guess we can let you give it a try."
    *Losien Jumping for joy*
    "Oh thank you thank...I will not let you down! By the way..can I see my brother? Where is Geb?" Losien asked.
    //everyone eyes each other..with looks on their faces.."should we tell her?"//
    "Umm.." said many of the people in the room, "He's been acting quite different lately. Much like and insane clown..and well.."
    "WELL what?!"Losien asked, "Get to the point!"
    "Well..he's not like he used to be, he's under.." said one man..interruped by another)
    "Under the boardwalk.." said Joe.
    Echoed-"Under the boardwalk"
    "out of the sun.."
    "Under the boardwalk"
    "We'll be having some fun"
    "under the boardwalk..boardwalk"
    (Instrumental)
    *Lobien stares in awe..when she suddenly thinks she has "fallen" for Joe..the camera man.*
    "Stop singing!" yelled the director,"We have work to be done!"
    "Umm..Joe..would you like..to..g-go..out..wi-wi-with..m-me?" asked Losien (remembering when her studdering problem was much worse)
    "Sure.looks over at the director) can we talk an hour break?"
    Director sighed,"Sure..whatever..go..leave."
    *Joe smiled.*
    "So, where are we going?" asked Joe.
    "I was thinking...w-w-well..may..maybe, we cou-could g-g-go get some..chee-cheese and cra-" said losien, once again being cut off.
    "Cheese and cranberries? Sounds good!"
    //Losien and Joe were off to the.."Green" Cranberry Market...alone//

    *Losien thinks to herself.."does joe think I'm a loser like all the other guys do? I mean..people often mistake the spelling of my name and...and it's oftly close to..well...ok..I shouldn't be worrying. Joe is with me..we're going to get..cranberries..which isn't exactly what I wanted..but it will do for now..and then I'll go..*
    //Interrupted by Joe//
    "Losien, DUCK!"
    "duck?" she asked, "Those are birds!"
    "No..DUCK!" shouted Joe as the birds were flying right towards them.
    "No..I'm almost positive those are birds Joe."
    **Lightbulb comes to her head..raises her finger..and realizes what Joe was trying to say.**
    //They run to the nearest phone booth...and hide inside//
    "Phew...we're still alive," sighed Joe.
    "Yeah..thankfully..we made it"
    Minutes later..all the birds were gone..it was safe to come out.
    Losien exited first..and looked behind her...
    "Where's Joe?"
    "Right here..it's me..TOE JOE..the superhero. Joe is like my "clarke kent" body..this here..is my "superman". What do you think?" asked TOE JOE.
    "Well..I'm speechless.." she said while imagining what was under that superhero costume.
    "About those cheese and crayons..I'm getting really hungry..let's go"
    //Losien sighed..living life like this..is sure tough..I can't wait til I see Geb..I wonder how he is//

    (NSP: Well..I'm new to this..I hope no one minds that I care to join in..I'm Geb's sister.but not really) and he introduced me to this..and well..he picked out my screen name..I'm guessing because he thought I was a loser..but didn't want to "plainly" state it..so he changed it around a little. He's great..don't you all agree? Yeah..ok..I'm going to go now..sorry this post is extremely..well..boring.)




    ------------------
    **Kim**
    "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  9. #369
    NSP: I made a mistake..lol..Losien falls for Joe..the SOund Guy..not the camera man..lol..I must've been thinking about.nevermind..lol)
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  10. #370
    *Geb meanwhile is hidden behind a jutting rock, cloaked and armed with a Slayer. Going insane was nothing new for Geb, and he knew he'd get over it sooner or later. It took him quite by surprise however to find Maybe tap him on the shoulder.*

    Maybe: Hey Geb, the director just told me we're on an hour break, so you can go eat for now. Oh, and your sister came by looking for you. Her name is...Loo-see-in? Soemthing liek that. Anyway, I'm off, and when we're finished, we'll look for you again.

    Geb: Sister? Ahh, sister! (starts to sound liek darth vader) If you will not turn, perhaps she will...

    *Meanwhile, some whinny Goth kid steps out, screams "NOOOOOO!" and tries desperately to find Geb so he can kill him, though his reason to do so seems to be a mystery to him*

    *Geb then launches a Slayer on "fly-by-wire" with a note attached to it headed for Papa Johns'. Extra large cheese pizza. Mission Impossible? Quite possibly.*

    *Meanwhile, Losien hits it off with the sound guy in a laundro-mat. Looking for Ladies, teh Otter slips into the Laundro-mat...*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
    http://forums.theplothole.net

  11. #371
    //In the laundry-mat//
    "Did you hear something?" asked Losien.
    *too busy..umm..doing other things...doesn't hear her the first time*
    "what??" asked toe joe as he continued on with many sound effects...after all, he was the "sound guy."
    "Did you hear something? I think someone else is in here..shh.."
    //making even more "sounds"..joe trys to control himself//
    "Oh NO! We've been spotted" said Losien in a quiet, raspy voice.
    "Spotted? I don't see any spots.."said Joe..as he continued.
    "The person is coming closer! Hurry..we have to go before he sees..us."
    //music from "Jaws" playing in the background//
    *Losien and Joe search through the dryers close by, looking for clothes to throw on in hopes they're exposure won't be indecent to the "visitor" they were about to encounter*
    //Footsteps are coming closer and all of a sudden...//

    (NSP: Pick up the story...someone..:-))

    ------------------
    **Kim**
    "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  12. #372
    --Krig the Viking walks into the laundromat, with a big armful of clothes. He puts them in the washer, realizes he doesn't have change, and starts beating the crap out of the washer with his war-axe until it starts up.

    While waiting for the washer to finish, Krig walks over to a drier, opens it, jumps in, and shuts the door. Being only four feet tall, he can do this. He knocks on the drier's window.

    Krig:"Hey, Krig want ride! Put coin in ride, somebody!"

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  13. #373
    (NSP: So now we have 2 visitors in the laundro-mat..lol..great! The more..err..the more the merrier!)
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  14. #374
    After many long, suspensful minutes Los goes over to the drier and pops in some change.
    Krig: "Wheeeee!!!"
    Drier: "Buzz!"
    The drier door opens, and Krig, now a fluffly giant green fuzzball of yodahair floats out. As Krig floats around, a gigantic paw crashes through the laundromat door and Morris' feet step in, removing most of the roof, and destroying the washing machines. A pile of blood and green hair drops to the ground.
    Puff-ball Krig: "Semi not looking so very heltie."
    The green puff is swatted to the floor and flattened to a...... very flat thingie.
    Pancake Krig: "ouchie"
    Los, the only remaining living thing in Morris' sight emits a high-pitched noise not unlike the ICQ "uh-oh"

    ------------------
    Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  15. #375
    Pancake-Krig pops his legs out and waddles out of the way of the path of Morris's destruction. In a corner, an arm pops out of the pancake part of Krig, sticks its thumb in his mouth, and blows him up to normal shape.

    Krig:"Krig feel funny..."

    Krig looks at self, then looks at convenient mirror.

    Krig:"Krig normal again! Krig happy!!"

    Normal Krig starts to run off, notices the terrifying Morris, and hides in the corner.

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  16. #376
    (NSP: very nice, I like where you guys went with it. I wish I could post right now, but I'm getting kicked off the computer..sorry..hopefully tomorrow!)
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  17. #377
    *Antestarr looks up from his peep production facility and stares in the direction from which the sound came from. Detecting a strange, new form amongst the wreckage of the laundromat, Ante comes to a severe revelation.*

    Ante: That... that's a woman! I mean a real woman... adding to the story! The inner gentleman is getting the better of me.... Come, my horde of marshmallow peeps. We must protect this visage of womanhood from the ravages of such things as rubber duckies, rabbit walkers, giant web-kittys, and "improper" men until she learns to fend for herself.

    *Ante rides upon a wave of marshmallow peeps to the laundromat.*

    Ante: Please, follow me. You are in grave danger.

    Losien: Wha...? Who are you? Why me? C-can I have a peep?

    Ante: Yes, you may have a peep. But you must hurry. We must escape before it is too late... All your questions shall be answered soon enough...

    Will the mysteries surrounding Antestarr's sudden gaining of manners be revealed? What does Losien have to do with this? Could it be a *gasp* PLOTLINE? Find out soon enough......
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  18. #378
    *Maybechild meanwhile takes great offense at not being considered a "real woman" and vows to make Antestarr's life a living hell. Not like any of the other guys didn't deserve teh same treatment, but her level of effort was not worth it for the others. Only being challanged as a real woman and degreading Metallica could win her effort to actually try.*

    *Meanwhile, the storywriters, especially Geb, continue to search for a better word than "meanwhile". But until then...*

    *Meanwhile, Losien (which, to her approval, should actaully be pronounced Low-sai-een or Low-see-in) stands completely baffled (not to mention with few articles of clothing on) as this strange man who goes by teh name Antestarr, who says he's a co-worker of her brother, protects her with his army of marshmallow peeps against Morris the Cat and other such dangers.*

    Ante: ...I still find it hard to believe that you're Geb's yuonger sister.

    Los: Yeah, I know. He's SOO great, and look at me *all male audience members intently look at her and begin to drool*, I'm ugly, and stupid, and...

    Ante: No need to go on. I see the family resemblance...//Yeup, same family self-esteem here//...and considering you just erm...made teh sound guy very happy, you can't be as bad as you make yourself out to be. And finding your way to the Laundro-mat? That takes smarts RIGHT there, this whole place is so confusing, even for us locales! And-- *Antestarr stops as he realizes Losien is intentionally not listening to him.* OK, if you do not want me to go on, I will not do so. Where shall I take you, madame?

    *Meanwhile, Geb's fly-by-wire rocket reaches Papa John's...*

    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 19, 2000).]
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
    http://forums.theplothole.net

  19. #379
    *Antestarr looks at his above post.*

    Ante: Holy Shnikies! I forgot to mention the stuff about Maybe being the only real woman who's been able to survive extended amounts of time here... other than MissFire *drool*... er... anyway. Yeah.

    (seriously, guys, I meant to put it in. I just got too excited with a new woman amongst us.)

    Will this attempt at telling the truth sway Maybe's wrath? Will the others believe a word of it? Have we used italics too much? Will "meanwhile" be replaced by "meanwhilst"? Find out someday... or not!
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  20. #380
    As Morris the cat stalks away, Krig the Viking comes out of the corner. He looks around, smooths his hair, and looks over at the sound guy, sitting forlornly in a pile of clothing.

    Krig walks over to the sound guy.

    Krig:"You offend lady's honour!"

    Krig smacks the guy across the face with the broadside of his axe, knocking him out cold.

    Krig:"Serve you right!"

    Krig then follows the trail of peeps to catch up to Antestar, hoping to defend the lady's honour some more.

    * * *
    Meanwhilst, Darkside lurks mysteriously.

    What will become of our heroes? Anything? Who will get the girl? I'm putting my money on the sound guy, but it could be anybody! Tune in next post for more of the NEVER...ENDING...STOOOOOORYYYYYYY!!!!

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  21. #381
    (NSP: Krig looks over at the Discussion forum, and sees that ****** has disabled the whole thing. I now see how he got his reputation. )
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  22. #382
    "Well, Antestarr," begins Losien,"I still haven't been able to try the cheese and crackers everyone's been talking about."

    "Why would you want to try cheese and crackers? There's nothing special and them...and of course, there's no time for that," said Antestarr.

    *Losien sighs: Hmm..I wish I could see my Geb. It's been so long. He's probably changed so much. What if he won't recognize me as his sister?*

    //Riding along on the peeps..Anterstarr questions Los again//

    "So, Los. Where are we off to?"

    "I don't know. You're leading the way. I just hope to meet up with Geb sometime. By the way, what happened to Joe?"

    "Joe? Why do you ask about Joe? He started to go back to the filming studio. You don't have a "thing" for Joe, do you?" asked Antestarr.

    "Well..I, I can't say that I don't..because, I guess I kind of do. The whole laundry room thing..well, it brought us somehow, closer together."

    "I...I wouldn't go for Joe. You haven't known him for more than (looks at his watch) 50 mins..speaking of that, we were only supposed to have an hour break. We better get back quick!"

    //Los and Antestarr quickly sped away on their marshmallow peeps and finally made it to the studio//

    *Inside, everyone was taking their places. Losien finally spotted Joe. She couldn't keep her eyes of him. Suddenly, Joe started walking towards her and...*

    (NSP: Sorry if all that I just typed screwed up the story in any way..I really am sorry..I'm just not that great of a writer..as you all know. ANyways, I have to work today..so I guess I'll try and post later if I have time.)

    ------------------
    **Kim**
    "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  23. #383
    NSP: (as if we actually need any...)

    Los, the beauty of this story is that it has no plotline, and therefore cannot be screwed up in any way. It merely gets "enhanced" by each spin put on it from new viewpoints. Personally, I wish there were more new writers with fresh ideas, since we're running out of copyrights to infringe...
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  24. #384
    Back in the writer's office.....
    Los opens the door to her new office which is in the new wing of the building that mysteriously grew overnight to accomadate the growing number of writers. On her desk are enough flowers to re-seed the earth in the event of nuclear winter, with cards from each of the guys. There is also a card from Maybe, who has gotten used to getting all the attention from the guys in the story, with a death-threat scribbled on it.
    Los the storywriter: <Mouse-like sneeze> "Bub I'm alergikt tew fluors..."

    ------------------
    Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  25. #385
    Director:"Aaaaaaand action!"

    The heroes of the story stand before the cameras (the pay-per-view cameras of Ares), and suddenly... stand there.

    Sem:"Anybody remember what we were doing before the break?"

    Ante:"Umm... no..."

    Just then, Krig comes running into the Arena, weilding his axe.

    Krig:"Krig defend pretty lady's honour!"

    Maybe:"Oh, why thank you, Krig, I-"

    Krig stops and looks at Maybe.

    Krig:"Krig no talk 'bout Maybe. Krig talk 'bout pretty lady."

    Maybe, threateningly:"Are you insinuating that I'm not pretty??"

    Krig, suddenly cautious:"Noooooo...."

    Maybe:"No I'm not, or no I am??!"

    Krig:"Umm... Krig head hurt now..."

    In background, Ante starts leaning a little close to Losien. The boom mike drops down and bonks him on the head.

    Ante:"Who? Wha?"

    Ante looks around for the culprit, and sees Joe the sound guy.

    Ante:"Oh, you wanna rumble, is that it??"

    * * *

    Meanwhile, Homer and Uncle Tusk have gotten drunk from some beer they found somewhere.

    * * *

    Meanwhile, Darkside lurks evilly.

    What will happen next? Only the author of the next post knows! Tune in next time for more intrigue and political scandals next time on the Greatest Show of All Time. Which means SoD, not NeS.


    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  26. #386
    "AAAAaaaacchhhooo!"

    //Joe walks in the room//

    " Are you, allergic to flowers?"

    " Yes, I am. (wipes her nose w/ a tissue) Why did everyone send these to me?"

    " I guess you're pretty popular now..being the new member and all. I mean, you are really beautiful and.."

    "Wait a minute. Who in this world...would EVER think that I'm beautiful? Who would put such a crazy thought in someone's head?" said Losien with a sound of confusion in her voice.

    "Why, everyone thinks you are. Why else would they send you flowers?" asked Joe.

    "Maybe they're just trying to make me feel better about myself. Maybe it's some kind of trick. I bet Geb told them I was allergic to flowers...and that's why. But Geb wouldn't do anything like that...though, he has changed, from what you all tell me."

    "No..that's not it. I really like you...I mean..we all think it's great you've come to be a member. You were fantastic in the laundro-mat..I mean..you're a great writer."

    "Well..she said (clearing the flowers off her desk and looking at all the cards..seeing the one from Maybe. With a horrified look on her face, she says..) Oh my gosh. Please..can you leave me alone for a while. I have some thinking to do."

    "No problem. Is, is everything ok?" asked Joe.

    "Everything is, fine. Don't worry! (she says while covering her face, afraid she'll break into tears)"

    //*to herself* Great...it's my first day here, and I'm being sent threat notes. What's wrong with me? Am I that ugly that people don't even want to see me? What's wrong with me? (as she begins to sob quietly)//

    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  27. #387
    (NSP: Hey Ante...well..sorry about "apologizing" for being a very bad writer, but I am one. (It's only the truth) Oh yeah..and Krig..I'm sorry if what I wrote affected what you wrote. I didn't mean to...but we were posting at the same time I guess..so you can ignore mine if you wish. Also..for those of you that don't know, Geb and I are NOT really brother and sister. In the story we are...but in reality..we're not. If we were, I wouldn't know how to explain it since he's such a great guy and me..well..look at me. He's well..how can I put this.."good-looking" and I'm well.."not-so-good-looking." He's a great writer..and as you all can tell..I'm not. So..we're not really brother and sister, even though he's been much kinder to me than my own brothers..it's the truth. OK, enough of this..bye!)
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  28. #388
    Director: OK, our PPV watchers are getting bored. We need more intimidating evil-feeling parts here.

    *The camera zooms in on Darkside, who gives a evil look for the audience.*

    Director: Nope, not scary enough...*Darkside frowns sadly and shuffles off*...ok, I got it!

    *Camera zooms in on Krig, who, for some mysterious reason, has his bare bum facing hte camera.*

    Director: Yeup, that scared them all...
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
    http://forums.theplothole.net

  29. #389
    *Meanwhilst, in a small motel adjacent to the arena, a sinister plot is about to unfold...*

    Farr's Girlfriend: Mwahaha... The fools out there don't realize that I am the true evil genius behind you and your actions, my dear, sweet lumpkin...

    *Farr grunts in agreement.*

    F.G.: Soon, you and I shall strike, and not even the god of war, Ares, could stand up to us. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    What will become of our heroes? Can they possibly stop a pair of evil ones who obviously hail from a land way down under? Will Ernie and his horde of rubber duckies ever be mentioned again?... er... whoops. Why did the narrator switch to bold? What would happen if the question mark key on the writer's keyboard were to fail> Find out someday... maybe.
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  30. #390
    //Losien walks out of her office after an hour or so to herself. She still had no idea what to do about Maybe. Suddenly, she is swarmed by many crew members//

    "Would you like to go out.."started one person, interrupted by another.

    "Can me have you for din din.."said Krig being once again interrupted.

    //This continued many times.//

    "Los, I was wondering..would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime,"said Joe.

    "Well, I don't know what I'm doing tonight..maybe I can make arrangements," replied Los with a smile on her face.

    //Then she remembered. What if going out to dinner with someone, would make Maybe mad? Hmmm..well..I guess we'll see. I can't plan my whole life doing only things she wouldn't mind. I should talk to her sometime//

    "So Joe, where would we be going to eat?"

    "I was thinking...."
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  31. #391
    (Perhaps we should mention that Krig the Storywriter and Krig are two different people... for anybody who joined in late. Krig the writer is me, the guy who's writing the Krig parts. Geb the writer is the guy who's writing the Geb parts. Unfortunately, these writers tend do things other than merely write (such as send flowers to people who have the misguided idea that they are not pretty ). So in summary, the writers are the guys in another dimension who are writing the parts of the characters.)

    Krig stops scratching his hairy sit-down spot, turns around, and sees the camera zoomed in on his arse.

    Krig:"...."

    Cameraman:"Woa... woa... calm down man... woa... nice Kriggy..."

    Krig:"ROOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!"

    Krig leaps at the camera, and audiences all over the world see glimpses of an axe, a short hairy guy, and the ground, and a short hairy guy, and the sky, and static.

    Director:"Quick, get another camera on this! This is good stuff!"

    * * *

    Meanwhile, Ernie lurks in a dark corner of the Arena, hugging the remains of his rubber duckie horde to him.

    Ernie:"We're safe here. We'll get them back, don't you worrie, rubber duckies!"

    Homer:"Hey, Tuskie, I found a little duckie!"

    Ernie:"You get away from him!"

    Homer:"Whuh? Who the?"

    Uncle Tusk:"So, Ernie, we meet again."

    Ernie:"Uncle Tusk. You will not get away so easily this time."

    Homer:"What? What are you talking about? What's going on? Who's Ernie?

    Ernie:"I'm Ernie!"

    Uncle Tusk:"He's Ernie."

    Homer:"Oh."

    Ernie:"As I was saying, you'll not get away from me so easily this time, Uncle Tusk."

    Homer:"He's your uncle?"

    Ernie:"What? No! That's just his name!"

    Homer:"How could you not tell me you had a nephew, Tuskie? How could you?"

    Uncle Tusk:"I don't have a nephew."

    Homer:"YOU LIE!"

    Uncle Tusk:"Uhhh..."

    Will Uncle Tusk ever convince Homer Simpson that he's not Ernie's uncle? Will Darkside lurk some more?*Darkside lurks mysteriously* I see. Will Losien ever get any self-confidence and realize that her writing is just fine and that she's not ugly? How should I know, I'm just the narrator! Tune in next time on... aw, you know the name of this thread, why should I have to tell you da--

    Director:"Aaaaand cut!"

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  32. #392
    Gonk2m4 wanders around the set, serving cheese and crackers. Krig polishes his axe. Sem stubbs his toe on something buried in the dirt.
    Sem: "Bastards those storywriters are, mmm, yes, always much calamity do I encounter, yes."
    Sem reaches down and digs up a heavily beaded jaw-bone attached to a femur. (For those who don't know/remember this refers to the weapon origionally wielded by Sem in his yoda-form, which was the shamanistic severed jaw and leg of Trixie, Ante's ferocious uberdog, and soulmate of Ursus Major.)
    Sem: "Sem some asskicking is ready to do, mmm, yes! For my ally is the storywriter, and a powerful ally it is."
    The scene shifts to early first century Jerusalem, Peter, having just denied Christ, is feeling somewhat down. Sem walks over and sighs at him, getting a good grip on his weapon.
    Sem: "mmmhmmm.... betrayed your master, yes, as did Obi-Wan's apprentice"
    Peter: "WTF are you!?!?"
    Sem: "I sense much fear in you..... mmmmm yes, this one, a long time have I watched, and always his head in the clouds, mmmm, never his mind on who he was!..." (Sem starts jabbing Peter with the bones) "...Eh? Who his messiah!"
    Peter becomes fed up with this and is about to hit Sem, when the storywriter deems it wise to bring Sem out of this danger and back to the arena.

    (I'm sorry if this offends anyone religiously..... I don't think it should, but I'm not going to assume..... besides I'm making fun of my own religion here, and it's all in good fun.....)

    ------------------
    Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  33. #393
    Registered User
    Posts
    75
    Ares: "ITS TIME I BRING SANITY TO THIS THRE- ah, who the hell am i kidding? Screw this, im outta here...."

    Ares hops in his Viper and takes off. Were will he go? What will he do? When will he get there?

    Stay tuned for the next reply to this completly screwed up thread....

    ------------------
    Fear me. I am evil. I am going to take over the world. Anyone that wants a small island had better call it now.
    Shutup brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

  34. #394
    Krig sees Ares's sig.

    Krig:"Krig call Austrailia!"

    Looks around at everybody.

    Krig:"What? Krig call island of Austrailia!"

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  35. #395
    (NSP: Just want to say..that well..somethings have come up..and I, I..well, I don't know if I'll be posting too much anymore. I'm really sorry..I just, I need some time to think some things over. Please..I'm really really sorry. Umm..do whatever you want with my character...kill her, anything, I don't care. Have Maybe murder her or something..it doesn't matter...but..well, I hope you're not "upset" with me....I sincerely apologize..and please..don't worry about me...I'm sorry..this doesn't mean I won't post anymore..just not that often..till things work out. Hope you all understand)

    ------------------
    **Kim**
    "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."


    [This message has been edited by Losien (edited July 22, 2000).]
    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  36. #396
    Krig smiles at Losien. Having nothing else to do, he continues to smile. While smiling, he looks something like this:





    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  37. #397
    (NSP: You couldn't resist putting in ya pic, could cha? I eman, if I could draw that well, I wouldn't be able to either...but still!)
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
    http://forums.theplothole.net

  38. #398
    (NSP: OK, OK...too many people are telling me that I should still write for NES. The only thing is..well, I've been really busy lately, as I'm sure you all understand. As much as I'd love to be a "dedicated" writer, it's hard with such a hectic life. I will still post whenever I get the chance, as long as I don't feel stupid. :-))

    "Well," said Losien.

    "So how about the Cracker Hut?" asked Joe.

    "The Cracker Hut? For what?" asked Losien w/ a puzzled look on her face.

    "For dinner tonight, remember?"

    "Oh, oh, yes..I remember" (completely spacing it when she noticed Krig was smiling towards her..which by the way..that was a great picture :-)) "That sounds..great..how about I meet you there."

    "Ok then. I'll see you at 6:00. Great." said Joe w/ a tint of excition in his voice.

    //Meanwhile, Losien goes into her office and sits at her desk. Thinking to herself..." Wow..I've never really been out to dinner on a "date" before. It's going to be so weird. I never even thought I'd be attracting to someone. What should I wear? How should I do my hair? Wait..don't worry. I don't have to do anything to impress him...do I? Oh bother!//

    //In the other room. Joe sits on a stool in front of a mirror practicing his "welcoming speech." ...."Hey (w/ a bug cheesy smile, one eyebrow raised) How YOU doin'?"...no, that won't work..."Hello, are you ready to play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.."..slugs his forehead..'Doh..that was stupid.) What am I going to do? I'm going to make a fool out of myself. The first girl I'm asking to dinner, that I really like, and I have no idea what to do!//


    When life hands you lemons, squeeze the juice into a squirtgun and shoot other people in the eyes.

  39. #399
    (The temptation to post that pic overcame me... I must be stronger in the future.)

    Krig continues to smile after Losien has left. He turns to Geb.

    Krig:"Krig can't stop smiling. Krig's jaw locked."

    Geb (still insane):"Oh really? Well, perhaps this will unlock it!"

    Geb sticks his big rocket launcher into Krig's face.

    Krig:"Krig not think that work good. Wait, Krig not smiling! Not shoot!"

    Geb:"Oh, I'm afraid it's too late for that now..."

    Homer Simpson walks by with a black eye.

    Homer:"Watch out for that little muppet guy! He's got a mean left hook!"

    Suddenly, a rumble is heard in the distance, getting louder. As it reaches a cresendo, an enormous herd of rubber duckies bursts into the Arena from all entrances and exits. The group of hero types stands stock still in the middle of the Arena, as the duckies swarm around them. From the corner of the Arena, Ernie enters, riding the wave of duckies.

    Ernie:"You have enraged me enough! You shall all perish by the wrath of my rubber duckies!"

    Both Krig and Geb's left eyes twitch in unison.

    What will happen to our heroic hardy heroes? Will they perish a painful demise? Or will they overcome the overwhelming overdog? Find out at some point in the future, at some point in space!

    ------------------
    Great people talk about Ideas
    Average people talk about Things
    Small people talk about other people

    Member of the Rebellion agains AC
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  40. #400
    *As Ernie and his Rubber Duckies are closing in on the group, Otter remembers Ernie's Achilles Heel, his former friend & Ally....BERT!*

    ¤Otter sends up a column of fire to signal Bert¤

    *Yahweh smacks down Otter's column of fire, and booms--

    YHWH:"HEY! THATS MY BIT, CREATE YOUR OWN SIGNAL!"

    Otter(dissapointed):"Aww, stupid omnipresent higher being thinks hes better than me...

    YHWH:"I HEARD THAT!"

    Otter:"But what to do, what to do...oh, i know!"

    *Otter throws up an electronic sign w/ the letters "HELP" superimposed on it*

    ¤'Ride of the Valkyries' is heard and over the arena appear Bert's fleet of killer pigeons(Bert's pigeon that hes riding on is Bernard), w/ him leading them to kill Ernie¤

    Bert:"Die! You slow-witted lazy roommate! Die!"

    --WE INTTERUPT THIS BROADCAST--

    NewsAnchor:"Today is a very, very sad day in history. For today @ Las Vegas ,Yanni was devoured by Sigfried & Roy's tiger, Tsa-Tsa."

    --WE NOW BRING YOU TO THE NEVERENDING STORY THREAD PAGE....10?! GOOD GOD DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO LIFES OR WHAT! I MEAN COME O//

    Narrator:"The NewsAnchor has just been sacked."

    *@ the arena*

    Antestarr:"Haha, gee Bert that sure was a great battle!"

    Bert:"Haha, it sure was Ante, it sure was."

    *everyone starts to laugh*

    ¤Swedish Bikini squad appear in the arena and start to Go-Go dance for no apparent reason @ all*


    ------------------
    ---------------
    "sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
    -The Beatles, Iam the
    Walrus



    [This message has been edited by TheOtter (edited July 23, 2000).]
    ---------------
    "...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
    -Jefferson Airplane
    "White Rabbit"

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