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Thread: The Never-ending Story Thread

  1. #81
    *As the enormous Y2K beast approaches the arena, a small craft with a sign on top reading "Papa John's" lands in the adjacent fire lane.*

    Delivery boy: Pizza for a Mr.... uh... Arbiter?

    Arbiter: *gasp* My professional pizza's here! Time out for a moment.

    *Without warning, the Y2K beast devours the pizza boxes, their contents, the delivery boy, the craft, and a random mime who had managed to wander in from nowhere.*

    Arbiter: Foul creature! You... you ate my PIZZA! and a mime. How... how could you?! You have been threatening to terrorize the lives of many many people, yet you choose me as the first to insult! I have to draw the line somewhere!

    *Arbiter's eyes begin to glow a pale green... his hair occasionally streaks pure gold...*

    Arbiter: The cheese... the pepperoni... the luscious crust... NOW YOU PAY!

    *Arbiter, now done with a complete transformation into a "Super Saiyan", bum rushes the gigantic beast.*

    Antestarr (spectating): Ooh... ow... OH! I didn't know that could bend that way... dear Lord! Somebody ate his wheaties this morning.

    Miss Fire (slightly annoyed): You, cape-guy, you want some retribution, right? Well, come on then, let's get this over with. I've been wanting to whip some tail anyway.

    Antestarr: Allright... fine, but since it's my retribution, we gotta use my weapons of choice.

    *Antestarr reaches into his weapon cache and pulls out what looks like two lightsabers.*

    Antestarr: What we have here are my patented "Lightfoils" (tm). They're lighter and used more for thrusting than a lighsaber. My choice for our fight.

    *As Antestarr and Miss Fire move to tag in, Arbiter continues his frenzied assault on the legendary beast....*

    "Hey, Gebohq, if you're gonna quote me, at least do it right."
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  2. #82
    *Arbiter pulls back from the fight with the Y2K beast, and thinks to himself "Wait a sec, I have a BS detector!" Pulling out something that looks like a divining rod, he points the device toward the beast. The rod shakes insistently. "Ah, I knew it! Pure BS." Yessir, bullspit. The beast disappears with a wail.

    Arbiter, laughing: That was no more than a thing made of hype and bullspit. A phantom. I wish i could fight someone.

    *Arbiter looks at Antestarr and Miss Fire, walking toward the arena and wonders wehre Geb has disappeared to. Walking to the stands, Arbiter pulls on headphones and listens to his mix of music*

  3. #83
    *talking as they walk down toward the arena area*

    Miss Fire: Ooo! Lightbars (tm)! Did you come up with those yourself?

    Antestarr: Yup! My own design.

    Miss Fire: Ya know, I bet there would be a big market for those things! You could really make some good money!

    Antestarr: They should be available to the public in a year or so.

    *They reach the arena and the blades turn on with a swish*

    Miss Fire (while flipping back to avoid a jab): No kidding? I know I'd buy one! Pretty lightweight! These would fit extra nice in my backpack! You ought to make matching belts to go with them -- and be sure not to forget us lefties!

    *The blades clash multiple times, flashing a bright light*

    Antestarr: What was the big idea getting those slimes to gang up on me anyway?

    *Miss Fire swings her blade in a downward arc, where Antestarr blocks it just in time.*

    Miss Fire: I didn't send them after you! (ducks as the blade whizzes over her head, then rolls to the side to swing) They were Galv's old leftovers -- they got out of hand, and the only thing they seemed to respond to was popcorn! Once they multiplied, it looked pretty grim for everyone in the arena (blocks a strike) so I threw the popcorn out. I didn't know they'd come after you!

    Arb: Hey! We're still fighting here! You haven't tagged in yet!

    Miss Fire: Oops! I guess We'll have to wait our turn!

    *Both blades slip to nothing and Fire and Antestarr head back to the bleachers.*

    Miss Fire: Hey! While we're over here...
    *reaches into her backpack and pulls out a box of pizza and calls out to Arbiter* Hey! Since you missed that other box, you can have this! I was saving it for later, but I don't need it. If I get hungry, I'll order some more enchiladas. *holds up a buisness card with Enchilada Man printed on the front, then a phone number.

    I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
    The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

  4. #84
    (ignore this post!)
    The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

  5. #85
    *With all the exitement in the arena, Arbiter only noticed now that Gebohq appeared much like a drunk: not standing straight, eyes half-open, sluggish reflexes to Arbiter's attacks. But Gebohq was not drunk, for the only drink he had was a cup of coffee. Yes, only the caffine was keeping him moving at all.*

    Arbiter: "What's wrong with you man? I'm not going to fight an enemy who's not fighting to his full potential. Go take a break-"

    Gebohq: "No, that's...ok. I can.mumble)..I have to keep...fighting.."

    Arbiter: (walking to Gebohq)"Come on, I'll walk you to the bleachers. I need to take a break and eat my pizza anyway."

    *Arbiter the proceeded to guide Geb over to teh bleachers, layed him down and got a nearby blanket to put over him. Geb mumbles a few more audible words and then falls fast asleep.*

    Arbiter: "I should of figured this would happen. He has already fought a round with Rob X, he's probably been awake for 48 hours. Hey Antestarr! Miss Fire! Go have a blast."

    *With that, Antestarr and Miss Fire take the new positions in the arena and duel with their lightfoils. Gebohq continues to sleep like a log, not even a massive explosion would wake him up.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  6. #86
    Registered User
    RobX wakes up looks around
    robx:"what the hell????"
    RobX is startled but figures what the hell...

    Planet Gaming
    Bulildings burn, people die, but true love lasts forever

  7. #87
    *While Antestarr and Miss Fire were dueling, Rob X and Gebohq were sleeping away...quite loudly.*

    Guy: (to arbiter)"Can you do something to shut those two up?"

    Arbiter: "Well let's see..."

    *Arbiter nudges Rob X out of his sleep*

    Arbi: "Stop snoring or I'll hit harder next time"

    Rob X: "I wasn't...snor-zzzzzzz"

    *Arbiter was about to hit him again, but the snoring died down before he struck. He then nudged Geb, who wouldn't wake up. Arbiter then rolled him over so he wasn't as loud. The fight went on.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  8. #88
    After what seemed like weeks, Twin Suns wakes up under the bleachers.

    He sits there looking at the empty bottle of corelian whiskey and the half-eaten box of twinkies, and he realizes that something must have happened, but he didn't know what the hell it was.

    Getting up he looks out to the arena and sees two warriors dueling.

    Twin: What the hell happened?

    As he looks harder at the warriors he thinks they are evil Sith warriors. Suddenly angered by their presence he reaches into his bag and grabs two thermal detonators. In a dead sprint he races toward the arena and throws the therms with all his strength.

    !!! Will this misunderstood attack destroy the 2 warriors having a casual duel? Or will someone smack Twin sober so that he can save them, tune in next post for the thrilling answer.

    - Twin Suns

  9. #89
    *Miss Fire and Antestarr are dueling, when suddenly Miss Fire yells out.*

    Miss Fire: Look out behind you! There's a crazed maniac running this way!

    Antestarr: Come on! What kind of idiot do you think would fall for a lame trick like...

    *Twin Suns crashes into Antestarr. The crowd goes wild at the unexpected twist of a third person fighting in the arena. RobX and Gebohq continue sleeping.*

    The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
    The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

  10. #90
    *As Twin Suns and Antestarr get back up, the thermal detonators that were thrown up into teh air come back down into Antestarr's hands. Panic-striken that his life may end much shorter than he prefered, he tossed the therms to Miss Fire. She catches it as if it were on fire and throws them back to Twin Suns. All three continue playing hot potato with the therms until they realize their perfect solution, Morris the cat!*

    *Morris the web-kitty strolls past them when Miss Fire rolls teh two therms in front of the cat. Morris takes immediate interest and bats them around, them promptly eats them whole. The crowd inhales deeply as to find out what is about to happen...3...2..1..a muffled explosion could be heard inside Morris's stomach as he comically inflated in size and decreased back to his normal state. Smoke came out of the cat's ears and then it gave a loud burp. Everyone laughed at Morris, who replied "What's so funny? Someone get some Pepto-Bismol."

    *After the short episode with the therms, Antestarr stepped up to Twin Suns.*

    Antestarr: "Your obviously still drunk, I'll walk you back to the bleachers-"

    *Twin Suns pushed back Antestarr.*

    Twin Suns: "I'm...sotally tober. Now getoverhere...and fight me! Or are you too chicken."

    *Antestarr stared at Twin Suns all too much like Micheal J. Fox from "Back to the Future".*

    Antestarr: "Nobody I mean NOBODY calls me chicken! You want a fight? I'll give you a fight!"

    Miss Fire: "Cool off Antestarr, he's not talking straight."

    Twin Suns: "You tell him you two-cent whore!"

    Miss Fire: "OK, that's it. Let me help you out Antestarr."

    *Gebohq and Rob X continue to sleep, even though fat Morris was sitting on Rob X asleep with them.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  11. #91
    *Miss Fire and Antestarr both move menacingly towards Twin, foils lit.*

    Antestarr: Chicken... I'll show you what chicken looks like!

    Miss Fire: And I'll give you my two cents too!

    Twin: Wha...? I can taksh on all foura yas. Come on, whosa gonna come at me firsht?

    Antestarr: The drunken sot's not even worth the use of my foil.

    *Antestarr proceeds to turn off his foil and punch Twin in the stomach, causing him to release his innermost fluids. Continuing to take advantage of the drunk, he pushes him around and throws occasional punches, while blocking any pathetic attempt on the part of Twin to retaliate. Backed against the bleachers, Antestarr gives Miss Fire the opportunity to take a shot at Twin. She kicks him square in the chest, sending him directly into the sleeping Gebohq.*

    Gebohq (startled and still not fully awake): Great Scott!!

    Antestarr (moving towards the fallen Twin): And now, I shall give you something to remember me by.

    *Antestarr lights up his foil and carves a capital "A" into the front of Twin's garment. Meanwhile, Miss Fire sees a perfect opportunity to strike her opponent while his guard is down...*
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  12. #92
    Registered User
    43 still sleeping, more story to come.
    in the meantime...

    Planet Gaming
    Bulildings burn, people die, but true love lasts forever

  13. #93
    (ignore this)

    [This message has been edited by Twin Suns (edited January 15, 2000).]

  14. #94
    Suddenly aware of what was going on after being bruised and beaten, Twin gets up spitting blood.

    Twin: What the hell were you thinking... and look and my cloak.. you ****ing burned my cloak... thats it...

    Twin ignites his saber, and uses the force to calm his actions, and control himself

    Twin: Now then, lets get this thing started for real

    He runs to the arena and uses force jump to land directly to the side of the duel

    Twin: This time it's personal

    He advances

    - Twin Suns

  15. #95
    *Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Chimera...*

    Thrawn: "...and I suppose it all had to do with my childhood. My mother would always keep telling me "You need to be cultured. The art museums will be good for you!". And now look at me! I'm obbesed with art! I think everything is related to it. I even have a shirt that says "Art is Life, everything else pales in comparision"."

    Officer 1: "There's good that your finally letting all of this out. Now what about your eyes. Do you have alergies? Is it pinkeye?"

    *An imperial commando bursts into the scene, panting.*

    Commando: "Grand Admiral Thrawn, have you been watching the fight? They've got three people in the arena now. Three! Isn't that exciting?"

    Officer 1: "Uh-oh..."

    *Thrawn immediately stands up, now filled with a new purpose.*

    Thrawn: "Yes, this is what makes my life miserable. Not being able to take over or even destroy Earth because of this fight. Well no more! Send down the ground assult force-"

    Commando: "Er...sir?"

    Thrawn: "What is it?"

    Commando: "Er...its about the ground forces. When we were sent out, we were never stocked with the Imperial walkers or even the At-ST's sir."

    Thrawn: "Great, juuust great. You've got to tell me these things people! The big daddy needs his info, understand? Well, what do we have?"

    Commando: "Rabbit walkers sir."

    Thrawn: "Rabbit walkers. God, what will they think of next? Well, send them down."

    Commando: "Yes sir."

    *The rabbit walkers landed on Earth, headed towards the arena, equiped with beady eyes and big, pointy teeth.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  16. #96
    Meteor, watching the TV, suddenly saw something. "OH NO, it's the new imperial RWs!!! (rabbit walkers) I have to warn them." So he used his thing and appeared at the seats of the arena.

    Suddenly JK[m] stood up. Everyone stopped fighting and everyone stared at him, and the camera guys aimed the cameras at him, and everyone watching the tv stared at him. 'Oh no everyone in the universe is staring at me for me to say my speech.' thought jkm. So he said, "Stop staring at me, it's not against the rules to standup." And Ares and Arbiter and everyone gasped, even RobX in his sleep gasped. Everyone in the universe gasped!!!!!!!!! Then Twin Sun, Antesstar, and Miss_Fire started walking towards each other again, but JK said, "Some rabbit walkers are attacking!!!!" At that second the ground shook from a bite of the rabbit walkers!!!!!!


    JK [Meteor] - "Maybe you like rainbows"
    Credit for this sig goes to..... JK [Meteor]!!!!
    "Maybe you like rainbows"
    I can't remember what to say!!!!
    Click here for my homepage.

  17. #97
    Twin: What in God's name.... Rabbit Walkers??? I have an idea.

    Twin opens a dimensional gateway and teleports the cast from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" to the arena.

    Twin: "Now this should be interesting."

    - Twin Suns

  18. #98
    The rabbit walkers filled the arena -- a truly intimidating sight. Half the people in the bleachers got up and ran in fear, screaming all the way out. The other half thought it was pretty cool and decided to stay and watch.
    In the arena JK [Meteor], Twin Suns, Miss Fire, and Antesstar stood in the center of the circle of rabbit walkers.

    Antesstar: Hmm...this complicates things a bit.

    Miss Fire: *handing her light blade to Antesstar* These things are great for dueling, but I think I'd like something bigger for these things.

    *Miss Fire takes her backpack off and rummages through it. Finaly, she finds a large gun.*

    Miss Fire: This looks like it could do the job!

    *She aims at one of the walkers and fires. The walker bursts into flames and falls. After another shot, it explodes into a giant fireball.*

    Miss Fire: Oops! What am I thinking?! Sorry, ya go!

    *Miss Fire reaches back into her pack and takes out 3 guns like the first and hands one to JK [Meteor], Twin Suns, and Antesstar. She then slips her backpack back on.

    Miss Fire: have at it!
    *Back at the bleachers, people are still running out of the arena, while the people left are cheering wildly. Gebohq notices that the announcer was among those that fled, so he climbs up and takes his seat. To the delight of the remaining veiwers, Gebohq sticks in the Duel of the Fates music and plays it over the loudspeakers. The crowd goes wild as the music plays and the people in the center of the arena continue to blow up robotic bunnies!

    The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

    [This message has been edited by Miss_Fire (edited January 19, 2000).]
    The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

  19. #99
    Gebohq: "...and the destruction of these...rabbit walkers is just amazing ain't it?"

    *Gebohq takes a sip of his coffee, the caffinee keeping him barely awake. Sitting next to him was none other than John Cleese. At the moment he was assuming the role of Sir Lancolot.*

    Cleese: "Indeed chap. It's quite astounding how dangerous rabbits"

    *Gebohq had fallen fast asleep in teh DJ booth once again. This irritated Mr. Cleese, and a plan was formulating in his head.*

    Cleese: (in the mic)"And for our next piece of music good people, we will put on bagpipe players performing country music-"

    *Gebohq snapped wide awake, as if jolted with a hot poker*

    Gebohq: "I'm awake! The answer is 42! Er...I mean the next music we will be putting on is the CD "Darkside of the Moon" by Pink Floyd."

    *A small "woohoo" could be heard from Antestarr. As the music began, the reader notices the chaos that ensues on the battlefield. Despite the progress Antestarr, JK, Fire and Twin suns had made, several rabbit walkers were still terrorizing the general populous of the audience in the bleachers. Among the few people fending them off were the cast of Monty Python.*

    Sir Bellimore: "Maybe if we build a giant badger..."

    King Arthur: "Oh shut up! Brother Manyard! Bring the holy hand grenade of Antioch!"

    Manyard: "Thy shall count to-"

    Arthur: "No time for that, just throw the damn thing!"

    *Brother Manyard prceeds to throw the grenade. Unfortunatly, he forgot to pull out the pin, so the grenade uselessly hit one of the walkers on the head with a *bonk*. The rabbit walker turned around and leaped at Patsy.*

    Arthur: "You will pay for that foul rabbit. Patsy will not die in vain-"

    Patsy: "I'm not dead yet."

    *Meanwhile, Arbiter looks upon the situation in the arena*

    Arbiter: "No originality I tell you, not one bit of it. If I wasn't so evil, I'd so something about it..."

    *Arbiter then proceeds to feed Morris the cat, humming to the "Meow mix" theme while doing so.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  20. #100
    Blasting away at the remaining walkers, Twin glances at the Python crew.

    Twin: Oohhh, the holy hand grenade of... He didn't pull the pin!!

    Suddenly the walkers converge on the Pythons... and one accidentally steps on the grenade.

    Author and knights: O ****, Run AWA...... as the grenade explodes destroying the walkers, and the crew.

    Twin: the Empire will pay for such brutality. Miss Fire, Antestarr, I suggest you get to your ships, we're going to have some fun."

    With that Twin runs to the Red Talon and powers it up.

    As he exits the arena, his com crackles.

    Fire: Twin, where exactly are we going?
    Twin: To the nearest Imperial signal of course.

    With that the enter orbit.

    The engines stirred Gebohq and RobX, they open their eyes look around, and go back to sleep.

    - Twin Suns

  21. #101
    *Meanwhile, Morris the Cat finishes the food given to him and looks at Arbiter hungrily.*

    Morris: "FEED ME SEYMOR! Errr...I mean Arbiter. I'll eat you!"

    *Morris then started gnawing at Arbiter's leg, who looked at the cat indifferently.*

    Arbiter: "Odd cat you are..."
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  22. #102
    Reminds me......where did Ares go?

  23. #103
    (Good question Anglar...)

    *Ares continued to watch the many TV's in front of him, each showing a different view of the arena. Ares leaned back in his executive's chair, propping his feet up on his huge cider desk. Many papers were strewn about his office, each one offering some commercial tie-in deal with the fight of the century of the week that had been held in his arena. Once a simple place to erradicate all bad writers, Ares had now turned it into a multi-billion credit coorperation. Ares grinned as he watched the fighting, which he had long ago slipped quietly out of. The phone next to him rang, startling Ares at first, then grabbed the phone.*

    Ares: "Hello, this is Ares, god of war speaking. What would you like?"

    voice: "It's me again, CEO of Pay-per-view. We've been getting some requests for you to be put back into the fight."

    Ares: "Look here. When i said I would broadcast the fights on your channels, I specifically said I would not be directly involved. Is that understood?"

    voice: "And look here Mr. stick-up-his-ass, if the audience doesn't get what they want, your out of a job. Do I make myself clear?"

    Ares: "(grumble)yeah yeah...get right too it."

    *With that, Ares hung up the phone. He thought about how he would be able to get out of this new situation unnoticed.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  24. #104
    Registered User
    Ares realizes, 2 solutions to his problem.
    He rediales, the guy that just called.
    Ares: "FOOL! do you know who i am? I AM THE GOD OF WAR! NOONE talks to me like that!" with that ares sends a bolt of lightning through the phone line, promptly frying the CEO of HBO. He also makes a clone of himself to fight instead of him.

    (Dont expect me to write a whole lot people. )

    Happy year 2000 everyone!
    Shutup brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

  25. #105
    *With the ground forces neutralized, Twin Suns, Antestarr, and Miss Fire had launched off in their ships to take care of the Imperial Fleet. But when they reached into orbit, not a sign of teh fleet could be found.*

    Antestarr: "Well, that was a waste of good fuel."

    Twin: "Wonder where they went..."

    --Back at the Imperial base--

    Thrawn: "*munch munch* I can't miss teh Superbowl! Someone pass the chips."

    --Back at the Arena--

    *The three that were just in orbit land back in the arena, greeted by Ares' clone*

    clone: "(monotone voice)Glad you are back. Let us fight to the death."

    Miss Fire: (to Antestarr)"God, I hate clones. They're so boring."

    *Twin Suns pokes at Ares, who looks at where he was poked like it was an intriguing sensation.*

    Antestarr: "Where's a ysalimiri when you need one."
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  26. #106
    *Finally noticing that a story had existed on their forums, the administrators and moderators of the Massassi Temple arrived at the fight of the century...of the week. As the limos pulled up the entrance of the arena and the red carpet was rolled out, the crowd gathered to see the VIP's. The first to step out was Brian Lozier, to which the crowd oohed and ahhed at, camera flashes going off. Next was Nebula, followed by numerous others such as Threedee, Slug, and Speak wielding his mighty spork. JM at one point stepped onto the red carpet theatrically, saying "Ta-da! I'm here!". The audience grew silent as his arrival, crickets being heard in the background. JM snorted and continued walking. The limo drove away as the VIP's took their seats, surrounded by eager fans wanting autographs. As the fight was about to continue, a dark portal opened up and the evil-bad guy music was played as Justyn the thread killer entered the arena!*

    *Justyn looked around the now shocked audience, moving and turning his cape all too many times, if not to just hear the noise of it flapping. After the initial shock, the crowd began to boo and hiss, as hte blinking sign above them too.*

    Justyn: "Silence! Do you want me to kick you out?"

    *The audience promptly quieted*

    Justyn: "That's better. (heavy darth-vader like breathing) I have had my eye on this thread for a while now, and I have decided it is utterly useless, and therefore shall not exist anymore!"

    --Will the fighters of the arena join to stop the obvious new bad-guy introduced to hopefully spice up teh story? Tune in next time to find out!--
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  27. #107
    *Antestarr and Justyn start eyeing each other.*

    Antestarr: Justyn, eh? Never heard of ya'.

    Justyn: Antestarr, eh? Never heard of ya'.

    Antestarr: That's because I live in a warehouse, down by the asteroid belt! Hey!, if you never heard of me, how'd ya get my name?

    Justyn: Uhh... er... umm... that guy told me! *points at Geb*

    Antestarr: Mhm... sure... you've been reading ahead in the script, haven't you?

    Justyn: Enough, let's get on with this.

    *Western showdown music starts up. Suddenly, there's a cardboard cut-out town square with a clock tower that just reached twelve.*

    Antestarr: Well, I reckon, this arena ain't big enough fer the both of us!

    Justyn: Well, one of us'll have to be out of here then.

    *Both gentlemen put on cowboy hats, put their backs to each other, draw pistols, and prepare to face off.*

    Gebohq (now in bystander with bowler hat outfit): Alright, take ten paces, turn, and fire.

    Miss Fire (in western damsel dress): Oh my!

    *The two gentlemen take ten steps. Both use force speed to turn and fire quickly. Both bullets connect.*

    Antestarr: Well, it seems you managed to knock the gun outta my hand, but I took your ear clean off!

    Justyn: ENOUGH!

    *Justyn heals his ear with the force and the cardboard backdrop disappears along with all the western outfits.*

    Justyn: Now, we duel.
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  28. #108
    *Enchilada Man runs in before they are able to fight.*

    Enchilada Man: Hey! I heard there was a western party happening here. Am I late? Nobody here looks western! Say, who wants enchiladas?

    *Everyone stares at him blankly.*

    RobX: Shoot him.

    *With that, RobX falls back asleep snoring loudly.*

    Enchilada Man: Gee, you have a snoring problem, but I have something to fix that. REX! Come in here!

    *Enchilada Man's faithful dewback comes bounding in the place with an enchilada cart strapped to his back. Enchilada Man starts going through the cart, when all of a sudden, a blaster shot just misses his ear!*

    Enchilada Man: HEY! ...Do that again!

    *The whole place is filled with blaster shots, and the enchilada salesman pulls out his big burrito blaster with bean burrito bullets and starts spraying everyone with beans, cheeze, and hot sauce. He doesn't aim for Miss Fire, though, because she is a good friend of his with a frequent buyer coupon.*

    *Anyhew, he jumps on Rex's back, and they head for the Taco Grande. They enter the ship, and blast off to his hideout.*

    Justyn: Weird. Oh well, where were we? (reading the last post over) ... knocked ear off ... ear back on ... scene dissapears ... original outfits back ... ah! here we are- "Now, we duel." 'K then. Have at it, Antestarr!

    [This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited February 13, 2000).]
    Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
    Enchiladas- I got I got!

  29. #109
    *Someplace far far Glen Burnie, Lightstaff sits in a Lay-Z-Boy chair, equipt with oxygen tank and pills. Little kids scampered at his feet, tugging at his wrinkles and such. Then one of the kids looked at him with big puppy dog eyes and said "Grandpa Lightstaff, why did you leave the Neverending Story Thread?"

    Lightstaff: "Becasue it was boring. Now scat before I whip my cane out."

    annoying kid#2: "How did it all start grandpa?"

    Lightstaff: *sigh*Earth was threatened by a comet which never existed in hte first place..but it did...I think I'm going above your heads here. Anyway, I went and started what perhaps made the Interactive story board in teh first place by taking my ship and landing it on the comet. A lot of wierd stuff happened, we found out the comet was in fact a sheme of Thrawn's to take over teh Earth, a bunch of writers joined in with some wierd things to say, the french tried to launch nukes at it, but they couldn't build missles worth crap, and then Ares made his arena and challanged all bad writers to fight him. Administrators grew sick of seeing such useless posts taking up space and made a board specifically for useless posts such as these. Ares then started the fight of teh century of the week, new people joined in the fun, old people such as myself left, and now the administrators have discovered that this still exists, including teh powerful thread killer Justyn, so now all teh people in this story are at risk of being deleted!"

    *All teh little kids stared at him dumbfoundedly. Lightstaff sighed once again.*

    Lightstaff: "Kids...they don't understand anything. Go watch teh fight and keep grampy posted, will ya? Where's Snyderman when you need him to get rid of annoying kids...*sigh*"
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  30. #110
    *Meanwhile, in the bleachers, Ares' clone reads off the ridiculously gargantuan roll call of everyone in the story. It wasn't helping that his monotone voice had put nearly everyone to sleep.*

    Ares' clone: (sounding all too much like Ben Stein)" ...Ping_Me? Ping_Me.."

    Ping_Me: "Present...zz.."

    clone: "...Ping-....Rob X...Rob X...Rob X.."

    Rob X: "Not here"

    clone: "Rob...Bullier....Builler....has anyone seen Ferris Builler?"

    *All that was heard was the occasional chirp of a cricket.*
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  31. #111
    Semievil conjures himself up from the depths of tribes and everquest, back into a strange, different jediknight from the one he left.
    Twisting his neck out of it's unnatural position he rears to his full hieght(a rare occurance) with bone-snapping noises.
    Finding himself before a great arena, he arms himself(and extensive process) compleately before entering.
    As he enters the inner gates, he works his repeater methodically over the 20-some guards that attempt to bar him from the field, before deciding simply to reach back into everquest one last time........
    A massive ice comet slams the arena instantly killing all audience members and combatants within, as Sem steps onto the field he notices to his great joy that he has just utterly obliterated Raven's stadium in Baltimore.
    Sem, unable to resist the urge to quote untold, long-forgotten movies: "I was kinda like a one man force 'ay, like, like Charelton Heston, in, in Omega man, did you see it? It's beauty"
    Sem exits the game, and changes levels, entering the real arena.
    Sem is tempted to use annother ice-commet, but realizes that kind of power must not come to jediknight, as he surveys the scene, picking through the giant mettalic rabbit ears, he conjures and summons misc. items from the original JK cogs, leaving behind a trail of max-head raildet charges he leaps to the stands, and contemplates what has happened here......
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  32. #112
    Having finished his survey of the arena Sem pulls himself out, streaching at all his joints, and pulling the skin tight over his skeleton at the arms, which is rather heavy-set and impressive, however the musculature leaves something to be desired.....
    Muttering on how rude the combatants are not to notice the new arrival, he procedes to gather up the max-head explosives, and place them strategically on the scorched bunny hulks, that Miss Fire was so courtious to just leave lieing around.
    After having cleared the vaguely bunny shaped shrapnel that the explosions left he steps up to the clone of Ares and replaces the roll-call list with Webster's New American Dictionary, so that he will not run low on reading material. Drawing his lightsaber he dons a black cape, and begins to make rude gestures at the combatants, hoping to draw one of them to notice his presence.
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  33. #113
    *Semievil stands between the audience and the arena, moonign everyone in the line of sight.*

    Audience member: "Hey...can you move out of the way? I'm trying to watch here."

    Semievil: "Neeeerg..."

    *Sem stretches out his hand, gripping it as if choking someone who wasn't there. He was in fact using the Force to choke the person who chose to verbally dismiss him. At the sight of a gruesome death, sevreal audience members turn their heads at the new arrival*

    Semievil: "Ahh...that's better."

    Audience member #2: "Ohhh... Never seen an Everquestian."

    Audience member #3: "Tribesman. Must be hard adjusting to this place, with no jetpack and all."

    Semievil: "Yes, the change has been rough. And it isn't any easier that I'm so far behind technologically with JediKnight that even my supremem skills can not compare with the new people of today. Oh well, time to visit up on some friends of mine..."

    *Sem strolls over to Gebohq, who is pointing the deactivated lightsaber handle right in his face, examining it. Sem begins to talk.*

    Semievil: "We meet agin."

    Gebohq: "Ahh! You scared me there."

    Semievil: "Surprised you didn't kill..idiot. Anyway, up for a battle?"

    Gebohq: "But you don't even have SPORK!"

    Semievil: "(grumble)Well REAL jedi don't need mods. What do you say?"

    Gebohq: "Sure, but I know you too well to fight you with anything but netraul force powers. You agree to that?"

    Semievil: "Fine fine."

    Gebohq "Ok then. Hm...gonna be a tad crowded in the arena, and it looks like there's a waiting list already."

    Semievil: "Waiting list?"

    Gebohq: "I know. What has the world come to?"


    Ares' clone: "Catastrophe. Noun. It means..."

    Arbiter: "That guy is REALLY getting on my nerves...and hey! It's semievil! Wonder if he's related to Dr. Evil. Need to talk to him about the evil world leader organization's next meeting..."
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  34. #114
    *Antestarr and Justyn stop dueling for a moment to stare at the new spectacle.*

    Justyn (blinks): Wha...? Ok, wait a minute! How can there be a waiting list for fights if I'm sitting here facing off against some newbie from a warehouse just outside the solar system and half the audience/contenders are asleep?!

    Antestarr: Yeah! I think it's about time to have a slight rule change!

    *Antestarr raises his hand and several cirlces form on the ground. Each circle is about 4 feet in diameter.*

    Antestarr: Ok. Two people to a circle. You get one saber and one dagger. You have to face off using only these as weapons and defense and remaining within your circle. Remember, don't stop until your opponent has fallen! Now, pair off.

    *Sem and the drowsy Gebohq take stances in one circle. Two by two the other members take places in circles. All that are left are the Ares clone and RobX. The clone drags Rob to a circle, where Rob just falls into the clone's arms and continues to snore away.*

    Morris: Hey, what about me?

    Antestarr: Uhh.... you can face off against... this... uh... Trashcan!

    Morris: Gee, I feel so honored. *WHARF*

    Antestarr: Eeew... hairball.

    *Now paired off, the several duels begin. Nobody seeming to take the upper hand, Morris decides to interfere...*

    "I hate Spring, probably because I never find anyone to fall for."
    Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.

  35. #115
    Habitual Wrong Forum Poster
    And than I giant meteor came out of no where, and blew everyone into oblivion like the dinosaurs...


  36. #116
    I don't like that ending-I know I'm trying not to reach too much into tribes/eq, but here I just can't let it happen!!!!!

    Sem casts the spell "mesmerize" on JASRCC_Uber0010, and stepping up behind him locks his arm around JASRCC_Uber0010's neck, snapping finger bones into the apropriate joints and creating a vice-like choker hold.

    Using the other arm, Sem dons his beloved jet-pack, leaps 20 feet skywards, and begins to hover. As JASRCC_Uber0010 slowly comes around he finds himself dangling above the very jaws of death, that's right, about to be swallowed whole by Morris!!!
    (note to all: ignore this, I just don't like punks who want to end this kind of thread in 1 single-line post)JASRCC_Uber0010 drops to his doom......
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  37. #117
    ok, so back to the story....

    Semievil: "Geb, you really think you can beat me?"
    Gebohq: "Of course! With no grip your just as weak as anyone else, even Morris!!!!"

    Semievil opens the duel with a swift smite from the heel of his shoe delivered to Gebohq's face, stunning him momentarily. Gebohq retaliates as Sem bows for his adoring fans (the ones with the no-doz in the back row) by landing his dagger in Sem's knee. Sem reels back in pain, stumbling on the edge of the circle, then dives past Geb, and is quickly put in the classic evil-man gloating pose, with geb's saber at his throat.

    Gebohq: "hahaha now you see the true power of being the person to restart a post, but you will never know how it ends....." he drones on in a rediculously long bwahahaha speech, and Morris finally decides to take offense at Geb's remark.

    Morris: "hey clone-person, yeah, the god-lookin guy, gimme that dictionary"

    Gebohq: "and now Semievil, you finally see the error of your ways."

    Gebohq finishes the last words just as 17 and 1/2 pounds of english vocabulary slam down upon his head.

    Sem nudges Geb, and realizing that he is unconsious, takes an overly boastful bow for his sleeping spectators.

    Morris: "hmm damnit, I want something better to fight."

    Semievil: "hey I got an idea! how about Bernard the cyber-pidgion!!!!"

    Semievil holds up a tin-and-wood model of a vaugely pidionish bird with no paint.

    Morris shoots Sem an evil look.

    Morris: "don't start"

    Semievil now having his duel momentarily post-poned goes in search of a suitable sparring partner for Morris.

    Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

    [This message has been edited by Semievil333 (edited March 02, 2000).]
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  38. #118
    *As Gebohq peel 17 1/2 pounds of english language off of his face, Gebohq finds that Sem has left their personal circle of death to find someone else to fight. And Geb thought to himself "It was just cleaned too!". Geb spots Morris the cat, desperate for someone to duel with. Or maybe he was just hungry...again. Geb lowers himself and rubs his fingers together to get the cat's attention*.

    Geb: "Heeere kitty-kitty-kitty..."

    Morris: "Don't insult me like that. I'll open a can of whoop-ass on you, you tart!"

    Geb: "Tart? That's a new one..."

    *Gebohq activates his lightsaber and thrusts it at Morris the cat. Morris simply lurches foreward, opening his mouth way too much to look realistic, and swallows the saber whole.*

    Geb: "Hey! Gimme back my saber. Bad cat! No cookie for you."

    *Gebohq starts to punch at the cat to no avail. The protective fat was too much to injure the immense cat.*

    Morris: "Mwahahaha, you can not win now. You're useless without your saber."

    Geb: "A jedi always has a weapon."

    Morris: "The Force? Please!"

    Geb: "Not quite..."

    *Gebohq pulls out from his pocket a water spritzer, aims it at Morris, and applies more than a gentle mist at Morris. Disgusted by the water, Morris dashes out of the ring and Gebohq wins the battle.*

    *Meanwhile, even more people join in for blood-filled fun...*

    " got complicated. Well I can't wait to see this through."
    (Third Eye Blind)


    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited March 02, 2000).]
    The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories

  39. #119
    Having by now totally disregarded the 4 foot circle, Sem, after seeing morris streak past, leaps from the concession stand(where he maintains he was conducting inquries of enchilada man's employees as to nothing but morris's next match).
    Dagger drawn he pierces the water spritzer, leaving Gebohq without ammo, and running into Ares' clone as he tries to stop.
    Feeling obligated, he gives the clone a Jehova's witness flier to read, and turns to square off with Gebohq.

    Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.
    In Soviet ISB, NeS writes YOU!

  40. #120
    *hearing there was a fight somewhere involving some of his friends TheOtter decided to check it out, as he steps outside of his souped-up 1974 Volkswagen Beetle w/Saturn V rocket boosters. he gets out, he is wearing black jeans, 'rage' t-shirt, black trenchcoat, combat boots, black bowler, and a mysterious black medic's bag slung over his shoulder. breathing in the pure human anger effervessing in the air, he thinks......."where are my keys?"
    TheOtter: "son of a *****!"
    "...remember what the doormouse said, 'Feed your head! Feed your head!"
    -Jefferson Airplane
    "White Rabbit"

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