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Thread: The Never-ending Story Thread²

  1. #161
    (NSP: From Highemperor. I'll see about making a post myself soon.)

    1887. The icy wastes of Mongolia.

    There is a fortress city constructed completely of iron, nestled in the rocky hillocks here, with flames from furnaces and factories steaming up into the snow-filled air This... is the hidden city of the NeSferatu.

    Though there are only 1000 NeSferatu, the most powerful of whom is Count Desmond their leader, they have over a quarter million slaves.

    It is here that the League of Heroes come, in search of their quarry, their archnemesis. Count Desmond himself.


    Admiral Rand I: *looking through the periscope of his sea vessel, the Nautilus* I see it! The city of the NeSferatu.

    Mustang: Surely we will find Desmond here.

    Erro: Brr! Surely this hunk of junk has heating!

    Admiral Rand I: *brusquely* No.

    Erro: What? Oh, come on, I know you're joshing me, you designed this submarine, for heaven's sake!

    King Emp: Erro... electrical heating hasn't been designed yet.

    Erro: *glare* And that notion doesn't make you shiver?

    Mustang: This is Mongolia, dear boy. Shivering is what we do.

    Erro: Very funny. Not to mention a complete LXG rip-off.

    Badger: This whole scene is an LXG rip off; can't we just get on with it?

    An hour later finds our heroes trekking across the snow in fur coats, searching for a way into the city.

    Admiral Rand I: My binoculars are useless in this snow. I can't see a thing.

    King Emp: There's a side entrance with three slaves guarding it down there.

    Mustang: Heavens, man, how did you see that?

    King Emp: I'm not the world's greatest archer for nothing.

    Erro: Come on, y'all, let's go!

    Badger: Shouldn't we wait to hear from our scout?

    Erro: *confusedly* We have a scout?

    Badger: Yeah. Ol' Jim said something about the NeSferatu threatening the plotfractal, and you know his duty as a protector. He said he'd come a few days ahead of us and report.

    King Emp: Well, where is he?

    Admiral Rand: There.

    A glow can be made out in the snow, and it gradually coalesces into the figure of Jim/Satan, keeping warm with an aura of fire
    around him.


    Jim: Hey troops, report.

    Erro: *to Badger* Thought you said HE was gonna report.

    Badger: *glare*

    King Emp: Jim, we are not your soldiers. You're an ally of this team. YOU report.

    Jim: Right, whatever. Well, the NeSferatu are building weapons of war. Gunproof armor, flamethrowers, submachine guns, you name it, they've got it.

    Erro: And now that they've stolen US...

    Jim: Yes. We have to stop them.

    -----

    Our heroes sneak into the fortress, and using their powers, kill off all the NeSferatu, until at last they face Desmond himself.

    Erro: Halt! In the name of the law!

    Desmond: Actually, you're under MY jurisdiction now. London's laws do not extend to Mongolia, as I am given to understand. YOU halt, surrender to me, in the name of the law!

    Erro: Oh. Mustang?

    Mustang: *leafing through script* Yeah, he does have legal authority over us. We have to surrender.

    King Emp: Wait! Erro, don't do this.

    Erro: I don't have a choice.

    King Emp: In the name of donuts!

    Erro: Donuts?! Of course! Halt, Desmond, in the name of donuts!

    Desmond: *sigh* We seem to be at an impasse then in terms of legal authority. Perhaps you are wondering why my troops stole parts of you.

    Badger: It had crossed our minds, yes.

    Desmond: Let me explain, then. I took Admiral Rand's designs of the Nautilus in order to build war submarines much like it. I took magnesium phosphorus photographs of Mustang's spellbook printing press that I too might have access to the technology that replicates his spells on a mass-produced basis. A sample of Erro's blood - for his bloodink. Badger's skin sample, to given inhuman strength and speed to my soldiers.

    A bottle filled with Jim's hellfire, to gain the unholy powers of demons. And a wooden chip from King Emp's enchanted bow, which never misses so long as the target is within a quarter mile.

    Desmond grins chillingly, and the heroes shudder.

    Desmond: *continuing* I now have the ability to duplicate all of your powers and sciences. I will equip my armies with gunproof armor and enchanted submachine bowguns, deploying them from demonically powered war submarines, while they shall be physically altered with Badger's physiology. With Mustang's spell-capable printing press, I can multiply the strength of my own magic many times over, and with Erro's own bloodink, I can feed the strength of the Ohqs to myself! And there is nothing you can do to stop me. This is only an image of myself, you see, while I am actually secreted away in a base far from there, and you have conveniently wiped out any NeSferatu competition I might have. Starting now, my assassins will begin their work. And you... you shall die.

    Oh, no! The ominosity of the situation is dire! What will happen next? Or I mean, what DID happen next? Oh, dear! Stay tuned-

    Mustang: Actually, "tuned" refers to the radio, which has not been invented yet.

    Shaddup.

    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited April 16, 2004).]
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  2. #162
    (NSP: I've been meaning to write an actual post for some time, but then within the magical and myseterious realm of #NeS...

    <font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">* CoolMatty drags Geb over to his writing desk and tapes the pencil to his hand
    * Gebohq tries writing on his monitor with his pencil. Needless to say, disater strikes
    &lt;CoolMatty&gt; GRAPHIC TABLET F00
    * CoolMatty puts stylus in place of pencil, and puts his hand on the graphic tablet</font>
    And here is the result. Many thanks to CoolMatty.)



    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited April 20, 2004).]
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  3. #163
    Suddenly, a figure springs from a balcony behind our heroes. But no one sees him, for he is invisible. He is the Chamelion, from a completely different storyline which did not exist until about 10 seconds ago. He puts a knife to the throat of Erro, which is strange, because Chamelion is a Star Wars bounty hunter, and never carries a knife.

    "Shh," he says, "I'm on your side."
    "How do you know which side I'm on?" Erro mumbles back.
    "I'm one of the good guys," replies Chamelion, "You play as me in a mod, so I have to be the good guy."
    "Yes, of course," replies Erro thoughtfully.

    And the LXG ripoff storyline is effectively disrupted. Not that I have any simpathy for the movie-only for Sean Connery, or however you spell his name. Tune in-
    Actually, tuning is only for ra-
    (Mr. T voice): Shaddup, ya fool!

    ------------------
    "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
    "Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?"

    Contrary to most tutorials, JK2Radiant is terrible.

    Well don't just sit there, REPLY!!!

  4. #164
    (NSP: Hmm...to ignore or go with this new guy's stuff. Well, anywhos, I'm having a rather difficult time posting what needs to be posted at the moment, so let's try something a little different until I can do so...)

    We interrupt your scheduled PPV program to bring you a completely unwarranted NeS special!

    &lt;&lt;LOADING. PLEASE WAIT...

    AN NeS PRODUCTION PRESENTS...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    THE NEVER-ENDING STORY CHEAP MULTI-GENRE GAME!
    • Press Start


    *pushes start button*

    Choose Your Genre
    • Platform
    • Fighting
    • RPG
    • Driving
    • Puzzle
    • First-Person Shooter
    • broken code that will crash your system
    • Sports
    • Board Game
    • Strategy
    • Misc.


    *highlights "fighting" and presses start*

    FIGHTING
    • New Game
    • Load Game
    • Options


    *highlights "load game" and presses start*

    LOAD GAME
    • Crazy88


    *highlights "Crazy88" and presses start.*

    &lt;&lt;LOADING. PLEASE WAIT...&gt;&gt;

    ...

    ...

    ...

    &lt;&lt;Setting: Abandoned Soviet underground complex. Despite the fancy scientific clutter around, the floor space is wide and clear. In the center is the knightly custodian Janitor Bob. On a platform above is a mighty version of a Last True Evil clone.&gt;&gt;

    TLTE clone #1: Attack!

    &lt;&lt;He points at Janitor Bob, and ten other Last True Evil clones fly down to surround Janitor Bob. Since the camera is restricted to a 2-D side view, five are in front and five are behind. Janitor Bob jump-kicks the five in front, with gallons of blood spewing as their heads fly off. He then button mashes to defeat the other five.&gt;&gt;

    TLTE clone #1: Hey, that's cheap! You will not be so lucky against my other waves--HEY!

    &lt;&lt;Janitor Bob cleans the bloody floor with his mop.&gt;&gt;

    TLTE clone #1: Stop that! Next wave, attack!

    (NSP: This was also a cheap way for me to work in the TLTE "beta" clones that will be in Story Arcade -- yeah, there's actually 88 of them. Feel free to continue or not continue this as you all wish. I'll try to make an actual post once I get this school stuff out of the way...)
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  5. #165
    Child's Play CharityGoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy
    Posts
    17,363
    [NSP: W.T.F.]

    Off in a medow somewhere...

    Baby WAAAAAH!

    A baby is crying. That baby... it's baby jesus.

    Mary Smooth, Ghebohq. You made baby Jesus cry.

    Tune in next time for more BUMP posts with no meaning...

    JediKirby

    ------------------
    "I was driving along listening to the radio, when Judas Priest comes on. It was 'You've got another thing coming.' All of a sudden, I enter 'VICE CITY RAMAGE MODE' and nearly ran some guy over"
    - ]-[ellequin
    ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
    ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

  6. #166
    SAJN_Master
    Posts
    11,157
    (NSP: This is my first NSP)

    ------------------
    I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
    It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
    Originally posted by Elana14: i would love a dong like that!
    Think while it's still legal.

  7. #167
    (NSP:What does that stand for anyway?)

    ------------------
    "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
    "Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?"

    Contrary to most tutorials, JK2Radiant is terrible.

    Well don't just sit there, REPLY!!!

  8. #168
    NSP: I've got no idea either. I just use 'em since everybody else does. darn peer presure!

    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    Scions of Light
    The Never Ending Story Squared
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  9. #169
    back in the LXG ripoff scene

    Jim7: You say you war submarines are demonically powered?

    Desmond: Yes, they are.

    Jim7: Well, you should be aware that I am at the command of all demonic powers and anything demonically powered will bend to my will?

    Desmond: ...uhm... you must be lying...

    Jim7: I am not

    Jim7 snaps his fingers and one of Desmond's war submarines explodes

    Jim7: oops...

    Desmond: This wasn't in the script how are you able to do that?

    Jim7: Because of this *pulls a rabbit's foot keychain out of his pocket* it was given to me by Gelrak the Neutral a few hundred years ago...

    Desmond: What is so special about a keychain?

    Jim7: Gelrak blessed this keychain and bestowed upon it a part of his life force, and his power to create convenient coincidences for he who controls the rabbit's foot...

    Desmond reaches for the keychain and snatches it from Jim7's hand

    Desmond: MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

    OMG JIM7 LOST THE LUCKY RABBIT'S FOOT! WILL JIM7 GET IT BACK? WILL DESMOND BE ABLE TO USE IT? WILL THIS STORY CONTINUE OR BE REPLACE WITH A SUDDEN SWITCH TO ANOTHER ARC? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON VIVA LA BAM!

    ------------------
    LONG LIVE DREAMCAST!!!
    eat right, exercise, die anyway

  10. #170
    ⌐_⌐
    ¬_¬

    Posts
    6,095
    NSP: Non-Story Post

    ------------------
    The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! | Mega-ZForums

    Bot Pack JO | Let's Roll JK | Bespin JA | Patch Enforcer JK/MotS | Pac-Man JK

    "how harsh... Jedi Kirby loves his 'Special' and unique way of talking." - jEDIkIRBY, circa 2002


  11. #171
    Registered User
    Posts
    154
    as Desmond laughs maniacally, a crackling can be heard, followed by a long scream of pain, then Galrek pops out of nowhere, landing behind Desmond, a large vicious-looking sword in his hands. slightly above and behind him, a crackling Thingy portal slides shut.

    Galrek:"ah...yes...rabbit-foot...in hands of bad guy...right!"

    with a quick flip of his hand, Galrek slices Desmond's hand off, his own formidable powers easily counteracting those of the rabbit's foot. as the hand arcs through the air, Desmond's laughter turns into a scream of pain, while, on the other side, Jim7 watches as a thingy portal opens, shuts, and then Desmond's hand flies off, a flying demon of bad fortune swoops down, screeching in delight at the chance to spread bad luck, and instead swallows the hand, and the rabbit's foot. the interaction cause the two to annihilate each other, exploding violently...and wetly. as bits and pieces of Flying Demon of Bad Fortune rain down on the three, Desmond spins about to look at Galrek. Jim7 steps around Desmond to look see the new arrival.

    Desmond:"that was my snatching hand! how could you!!! how will I snatch things from my enemies now?!"

    Jim7:"where the...erm...where did you get that sword?"

    Galrek:"ehm...found it. sorry 'bout the hand, but that rabbit's foot isn't the sort of thing to let just anybody play with...which *rounds on Jim7 again* I seem to remember telling you expressly not to do? now, where is Gebohq? and Qhobeg...got to talk to them...just got back from another one of them trips through a writer's brain...might've been more than one...anyway, if you see Geb, tell him to go to hell and get his damn sword. now, if you'll excuse me..."

    Galrek turned around, leaving the Jim7 and Desmond to their own devices. as Galrek walked, a plothole screamed down out of the sky, moving faster than any warning, and sucked Galrek into it, dissapearing, not with a bang...not with a wimper...but with a noise that sounded suspiciously like "scooby-dooby-flooby"
    --------
    NSP:tha's right! I'm BAack!

    ------------------
    New from the makers of Air in a Box!
    ever find yourself in the middle of the desert, wishing you had been able to pack a gallon of water? well, now you can, with, Dehydrated Water! just add water

  12. #172
    &lt;&lt;NeS game loading... load sports...baseball...&gt;&gt;

    It's the top of the first inning, the Heroes versus the Villians at the converted ARENA stadium. Heroes are up to bat, and the first to step up to the plate is Gebohq.

    Geb: *swings bat idly, spits on the side*

    TFFE the catcher: Hey, what it!

    Geb: Sorreh.

    Darkside the pitcher: *throws a nasty beanball at Geb's leg*

    Geb: OW!

    Darkside: Heh heh heh...

    *Geb hobbles to first base. Next up -- Ford!*

    Ford: Do I have to?

    Darkside: *throws three lightning-fastballs streaked with purple*

    Cthulu umpire: STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! You'rrrrrrreOUT!

    TFFE: Ow, my hand...

    Ford: What just happened.

    TLTE: *from the dugout* RUN! STEAL THE BASE!

    *Geb runs like mad, manages to steal all the way to home*

    Darkside: Grrr....

    *Next up, Krig. With his axe?*

    Krig: Krig like smash...

    (NSP: Just another something until finals are over.)

    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited May 10, 2004).]
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  13. #173
    NSP: darn it! i've got a good idea what i want to do with QWerty, but i need alot of people present. I guess i'll ahev to wait until it gets up to speed, or at least until TLTE and Qwerty meet up with you other people.

    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    Scions of Light
    The Never Ending Story Squared
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  14. #174
    NSP: Noble -- don't wait. If you want everybody together, just write in some excuse for them to be in the same room. It's not like anyone else is bursting with ideas, at the moment...

    Geb: Or time to write it. Or both. We all can improvise

    &gt;.&gt;
    &lt;.&lt;

    *gebs it*

    ------------------
    Krig have signature.
    Krig smash.

    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited May 13, 2004).]
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  15. #175
    (NSP I feel your pain, Noble. I'll post soon and bring our characters back to everyone else, if that is your wish...
    The Last True Evil - consistent nobody in the Discussion Forum since 1998

  16. #176
    NSP: Thanks, TLTE. i still feel i'm too new to 'grab the riegns', so to speak, at least when it involves this many characters. That will be taken care of soon, though...

    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    Scions of Light
    The Never Ending Story²
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  17. #177
    (NSP: Hooray for summer! Hopefully I'll be getting into full gear with the relative free time, especially with the FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY coming this August! For now though, NeS needs a little kick.))

    Benevolant
    Upward
    Mobility
    Post!

    (Can't be witty all the time...)
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  18. #178
    (NSP: Holy mother of pearl! The signs are all over NeS, and they say "kick me!" Please let me know and/or post if you got something soon. Otherwise, I'm going to take the liberty of giving NeS the boot into something I have in mind...)

    Geb the writer: ...Oh right. Wouldn't be NeS without one of these.

    B.U.M.P.!

    So soon? You getting lazy there.

    Geb the writer: Hey, you write for one story for nearly five years and see how good YOUR stamina is!

    I am just the Narrator, need I remind you.

    Geb the writer: Besides, all I've been eating for the past 3 weeks is Twinkies.

    Oh my. This isn't good at all.

    Geb the writer: You're telling me! The office is still leaking something green and glowing from the rift opened into the NeS story, half the writers went in never to return and the other half have all mutated. STOP STARING AT ME WITH YOUR FIVE EYES, SAJN!

    SAJN the writer: o_O Er...

    *SAJN the writer gets out a marker and draws on his face.*

    SAJN the writer: 0oO_Oo

    Geb the writer: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!

    SAJN the writer: Booga-booga!

    *Geb the writer runs around in circles, trips, and falls on the floor unconscious.*

    SAJN the writer: Teehee.

    Well that wasn't very nice.

    SAJN the writer: He was hogging all the Twinkies. I'm off the plastic eraser diet now, yay!

    I'm going over there now...away from you...
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  19. #179
    Noble Outlaw the Writer looks through the two way mirror at the antics of Geb and SAJN, who needed to be put into observation until their brains regained normal (for them) activity. He sighs, and turns toawrd one of the desks in the office beyond, which happnes to be covered in trout, but that's not important. In front of this desk there is a rather sinister looking dude in a trenchcoat leaning back in his chair.

    NOtW: Darn it, TLTEtW, when are you going to get that post up!? I've been waiting for over a week!

    TLTEtW: Yah, well, i've got stuff to do, yah know? I can't be hanging around here all the time.

    NOtW: Well, all you're doing now is staring at the cieling!!

    TLTEtW: Hey, you can't force creativity. I'll get it up when I can.

    At this point, a random guy walks around a corner to see the two quarelling writers. The newcomer has a nametag that says, "Hello, I'm Yecti the Writer"

    Yecti the Writer: Hello, guys. What's all the ruckus about?

    NOtW: This oaf over here won't get a post up, and all he's doing now is staring at the cieling!

    TLTEtW: Well, when you get as good as i am at writing, i'll listen to your advice.

    NOtW: Why you-

    Yecti the Writer: Hey, you two, simmer down... wait a second. Noble, aren't you supposed to be writing for Exile now? i posted mine quite a few days ago.

    NOtW: Um, well, about that... you see... *gebs it*

    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  20. #180
    (NSP: One day we'll get back to the 'actual' NeS. Until then...)

    CM the writer: *yawn* Man, I'm bored.

    Ford the writer: Go write something for NeS then.

    CM the writer: I thought Geb said he wanted to write something.

    TLTE the writer: That was over a week ago.

    Jim the writer: And we've still kept him in the observation room with SAJN after tackling Galrek and spraying holy water on him yelling "Canadian demon, be gone!"

    CM the writer: Oh yeah.

    Tracer the writer: Hey, has anyone seen Krig lately?

    Highemp the writer: I think he's still writing the 1999th reply for NeS.

    *The writers turn to Krig's desk, stacked high with notes. Something of a small novel's worth of a story post currently acts as Krig's pillow.*

    Tracer the writer: Wasn't that suppose to have been finished, like, months ago?

    CM the writer: *pokes Krig*

    Krig the writer: *mumbles* Krig need sleep... haven't slept since starting on post... Geb needs to finish.

    *Krig the writer hangs a "Do not disturb" sign on his head and falls back asleep. CoolMatty the writer slips the mammoth post from Krig's desk.*

    CM the writer: So who wants to give this to Geb?

    *The other writers look hesitant, looking at other such facinating places like the ceiling and their shoes.*

    CM the writer: Guess I will...

    MZZT the writer: Does anyone else here feel tired?

    JK the writer: Of working at this dump?

    MZZT the writer: I meant sleepy.

    JK the writer: Oh. Right. ...Sleep is for the weak!

    MZZT the writer: Indeed. Who wants to watch Spaceballs?

    Everyone else: Woohoo!
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  21. #181
    In Teh Secret Base of Jim7...

    Jim7: You know I was just remembering a funny story about my lucky rabbit's foot...

    Tony: Yeah?

    Jim7: Back in 1887 I was using it to mess with Count Desmond and he stole it from me...

    Tony: How did you get it back?

    Jim7: I didn't, well, not right away... you see Galrek who amazingly wasn't born yet somehow managed to show up with a sword... he sliced off Desmond's hand and a demon ate it...

    Tony: this is getting confusing

    Jim7: well it took me 100 years but eventually i found it... apparently Buster Poindexter used it to get his song "Hot Hot Hot" to become a hit...

    Tony: So that's why i saw him on a one hit wonder show...

    Jim7: yeah.. well i managed to get it back from him when i whipped out my flaming sword...

    Tony: That would do it...

    Jim7: Yeah.. I wonder what is taking Geb so damn long

    Jim7 stares at the stolen Gamecube

    WILL THIS STORY IDLE AGAIN FOR A LONG TIME? WILL GEB EVER TRY TO RECLAIM THE STOLEN GAMECUBE? WHAT USE IS AN UNSPEAKABLY EVIL ACT IF THE HEROES STOP CARING? FIND OUT NEXT TIME (WE HOPE) ON THE. NEVER. ENDING. STOR....Y

    I hate that shatner guy... always grabbing my microphone...


    ------------------
    LONG LIVE DREAMCAST!!!
    eat right, exercise, die anyway

  22. #182
    *The Arabian desert. Sand for miles and miles around. Nothing particularly interesting going on except AAAARGGHH!!!!*

    TLTE: Narrators use magic to convey their evil narration. It is an unholy work, an abomination, a tool of powerplayers. I will stand for it no longer.

    Qwerty: Uh, TLTE.

    TLTE: Verily I have smote you through the unholy chest with a holy weed-picker. May you die a horrible death. Oh, and peace be with you.

    Qwerty: TLTE.

    TLTE: Now begins again my quest to seek out mages in the NeS universe, chastise them and then convince them to lay down their staves and wands and repent from their wicked ways. Having thusly disarmed them, I will kill them with my bare, un-magic-like fists.

    Qwerty: TLTE...

    TLTE: Or, failing that, I brought plenty of weed-pickers-

    Qwerty: TLTE!

    TLTE: Yes, my disciple? Any questions so far?

    Qwerty: More of a statement.

    TLTE: Let's hear it, then.

    Qwerty: Well, without a narrator, we've no bloody way to tell the story.

    TLTE: Er...quite. A good point. Well then, you narrate.

    Qwerty: What do you mean, I narrate?

    TLTE: Just...you know! Write down the non-verbal component of our adventures!

    Qwerty: I'm not...I didn't join-

    TLTE: Doooo ittt....

    Qwerty: Ahh! Back away! Fine, fine...we're in a desert. There's lots of sand around. Oh, and we're walking.

    TLTE: That's not very good, is it?

    Qwerty: What? It's the truth...

    TLTE: That has nothing to do with the NeS. Do it like this. *Ahem.*

    *The azure sun, radiating dauntlessly over the scorched Arabian sands, was but a faint glimmer in the dark eyes of TLTE, wizard-hunter extraordinaire, as with great strides he led his fearless apprentice Qwerty towards their next great challenge...*

    TLTE: Got that?

    Qwerty: I think so...you want me to talk like a knob?

    TLTE: Yes, I- NO! No, I want you to talk with the little asterisks! And the elaborate dialogue! And in the third person!

    Qwerty: What third person? It's just you and me out here!

    *The words were a feint, and TLTE knew it; for they were not alone out in the desert. There was another, the dread wizard-*

    Qwerty: Stop that!

    TLTE: The story must go on...

    Qwerty: There's no one out here and you know it.

    TLTE: How many times must I say this? The nice gentlemen in the suit said there was a wizard out here. Best eight hundred dollar tip off I ever got...

    Qwerty: He was a pimp! He rooked you!

    TLTE: That's outrageous.

    Qwerty: His suit was made of eight colours!

    TLTE: That's irrelevant.

    Qwerty: He was surrounded by beautiful women! His business card was entitled "Mr. P. Imp"!

    *Qwerty rolls his eyes. Hey-

    TLTE: Don't roll your eyes at me!

    Qwerty: Whatever. Listen, I'm going back to the shingle. Maybe some of the other heroes are around here...

    TLTE: You....QUITTER! LAYABOUT! I'LL FIND THIS WIZARD!!! THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!!! Man, I hate newcomers. Always with the I don't know this and I don't know that, I mean is it possible that they can think for themselves just once.. and another thing, where are all the others, damn them for abandoning me out here in this desert and it's hot and its dry and I'll fix them all, expecially the mages. Hate the mages. Gotta hate the mages, with their shooting fireballs and making me fall over, where do they get off, honestly it's just enough to make you so mad sometimes I think I may well just...

    Oh sorry, I forgot...tune in to the NeS next time, or something. Now where was I...

    The Last True Evil - consistent nobody in the Discussion Forum since 1998

  23. #183
    (NSP: Since the only story seems to be with the writers, I'll make another terrible post.)

    Spi Waterwing the Terrible Writer (or SpiTW for short) stands at the entrance to the NeSquared Writing Block, where all plot in the NeS is effectively created and destroyed. He looks in on the writers, wondering how they do their incredible work. A random writer walks by SpiTW.

    Random Writer: Keep out to what you don't understand, kid. *pats SpiTW on the back. The W in SpiTW falls off*

    SpiT: Hey!

    Random Writer: Ummmm... *tries to put W back on, eventually hides it in his pocket*
    Random Writer: Uh...There, all better! Heh...heh...heh...

    NSP:More terrible writing to come...)

    ------------------
    Have you ever been philosophical? It's pretty fun.
    Well don't just sit there, REPLY!!!

    [This message has been edited by Spi Waterwing (edited June 10, 2004).]

  24. #184
    In the Writer's Block (NSP: Hehe. I just have to say, I so love that name), Noble Outlaw the Writer is jumping around. He hits the ceiling.

    Noble Outlaw the Writer: Ow!

    TLTEtW: What's all of the commotion?

    NOtW: I'm out of school! Whoopee! I'm out, I'm out, I'm really out! Ow!

    Plaster falls around Noble Outlaw, who is now doing some sort of disturbing dance.

    TLTEtW: Um.. what the hell is that, and would you stop doing it? It hurts my eyes.

    NOtW: What? Its my happy dance. Its less painful then jumping around.

    TLTEtW: Not to my eyes, it isn't. Just stop it will you? And don't you have something to do no that you're out?

    NOtW: Oh, yah!

    NOtW runs over to his desk, grabs some paper and a pen, and proceeds to write:

    -----------------------


    -----------------------

    TLTEtW: You have to open the pen, you idiot.

    NOtW: Oh. Hehe. Silly me.

    -----------------------

    After a few hours of walking in the desert, Qwerty spots a rather out of place sign stuck into the sand. it reads: Qwerty, the haunted house is this way ---&gt;

    Qwerty: Well, that's convenient. Wait, didn't TLTE just kill you?

    Nah, I just played dead. Anyway, are you going to listen to the sign?

    Qwerty: Yah, I guess so.

    Ok. Well, then: he heads in that direction, and soon reaches the edge of a forest, looking rather out of place, right on the edge of a desert, and all. Qwerty looks around at the strange line between sand and green, shrugs, and walks into the forest. In few minutes, he spots the bulk of the H3. He enters the door, and, after searching through rooms for a bit, he finds the heroes. The are all huddled around a guy the Qwerty hasn't seen before, who seems to be telling a story. There are also donuts.

    Qwerty: Hey, what's going on?

    He bobs around the back of the crowd, trying to see what is going on in the center. The heroes seem absorbed in the story, and consistently push him away. He goes up to CM.

    Qwerty: Hey, what's going on CM?

    CM: Get away, you idiot. I'm trying to listen.

    CM pushes Qwerty away again. Qwerty leans against the wall, and seems a bit stunned.

    Qwerty: What did you just say?

    CM turns around, and is about to say it again, but stops. Something in Qwerty's eyes is... wrong

    Qwerty: What... did... you... just... say?

    CM: Uh... um.. guys.. I think you should turn around...

    Qwerty raises his fist. electricity crackles over his knuckles.

    CM: Oh.. is that.. uh... bad. Very bad! Guys! Turn arAAGGHH!

    Qwerty's arm is now fully extended, his palm facing CM. CM is kneeling, clutching his chest. Bits of electricity still lingers over his clothes. All the heroes are now silent, staring at Qwerty.

    Qwerty: WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU *******!

    Gebohq: Uh... maybe you should calm down a bit Qwerty. I mean... uh... donuts?

    Qwerty: No! I'm not going to! Its like I’ve been invisible since I came to this place! TLTE is the only one who paid any attention, and he's gone crazy!

    And you're not? Ow! Jesus! Ok, ok!

    Qwerty: Now I’m getting the hell out of here, and I guarantee you, the next time we meet, it won’t be so convivial!

    Gebohq Conviwhat?

    Qwerty: Happy?

    Gebohq: Oh, ok. Now it makes sense.

    CM: No... Qwerty... Anger is not the way to power the magic!

    Qwerty: Shut up! Just shut up, all of you!

    Me too?

    Qwerty: No, you're fine. Anyway... Shut up! I'm leaving now, but take this, as a warning!

    He puts his palm out once again, but instead of just CM, who has just now regained his feet, the entire group of heroes collapses, the electricity surging over all of them.

    Qwerty: MUWHAHAHAHAHA! Now, I take my leave.

    He pulls a small detonator looking device from his pocket, presses the button on the top, and disappears. The heroes slowly get to their feet, still stunned after Qwerty's attack.

    Mirimu: Will someone tell me what the heck just happened?

    Suddenly, Qwerty is again standing in their midst. He grabs the box of donuts, and then disappears again.

    Gebohq: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!


    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²

    [This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited June 10, 2004).]
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  25. #185
    CM: That old jerkoff!!! No one uses my powers like that, and against me! I shoulda never taught him...

    Geb: You... TAUGHT him that?

    Note: The folks are still laying on the ground, unable to move after the electricity.

    CM: Well yeah, and I'd have to say, it was much more successful than Mimiru was...

    Mimiru, who was not attacked by the earlier electric shock, stands over CM.

    Mimiru: Ever think that maybe it was the teacher?

    CM: Me? Hell no, I know what I'm doing.

    Geb: As shown by the fact we are stuck paralyzed from the neck down...

    CM: You act as if this is all my fault!

    Geb: You know, this reminds me of something...

    CM: What, like Star Wars?

    Both: Naaaaahhhh.

    Mimiru: What do you plan on doing? You can't just lay paralyzed like that...

    Geb: Mimiru speaks the truth! There are doughnuts calling my name CM. I NEED MY DOUGHNUTS!

    CM: Yeah, yeah I'm working on it. I just have to work my power up again. It hurts my head quite a bit to take such a shock. Mimiru, can you find Subaru? I bet she has some medical supplies.

    Mimiru: Subaru? Oh, right. She was messing with the jet. Something about power loss to the main systems or something...

    CM: You ran out of fuel?!

    Mimiru: Yeah, that's it!

    CM: JEBUS! THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER FLY THE JET. AT LEAST THE HELICOPTER CAN BE REFUELED BY THE HOUSEBOTS!

    Mimiru: But I hate the smell of gasoline!

    CM: GOOD, IT ISN'T GAS, IT'S JET FUEL!

    Mimiru: Well, that isn't what Subaru is filling the jet with...

    CM: OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, DON'T LET HER FILL THAT THING UP WITH GAS!!!!

    Suddenly finding strength where he didn't have any, CM springs up, and dashes out the door to the jet, only to find Subaru sitting in the cockpit messing with the navigation.

    CM: DID YOU FILL THE JET WITH GASOLINE?

    Subaru: What?! Why in God's name would I fill a jet with gas?

    CM: Mimiru said you were... wait a freakin...

    CM dashes back into the room, where Geb is beginning to cry over the lost doughnuts.

    Geb: O GOD, JUST LET ME HAVE ONE MORE! JUST ONE MORE BEFORE I GO!!!

    Mimiru: You aren't going anywhere, your fine. You'll be back to normal in a jiffy.

    Geb: Why did it have to be the doughnuts?! ANYTHING but the doughnuts! TAKE THE GAMECUBE IF YOU HAVE TO!

    Mimiru: That's a funny thing, I haven't seen that Gamecube in a while...

    Geb: What do you mean you haven't seen the gamecube?

    Mimiru: I mean, it's not hooked up to the TV. The controllers are there, SSBM is sitting on the table...

    Geb: Wait wait wait, the Gamecube is gone, and the SSBM DISC IS SITTING OUT UNPROTECTED?! AHHHH!!!!

    Geb suddenly, and quite similarly, finds strength he never had, and runs into the new game room, where he discovers that indeed, the Gamecube is missing. And in its place, an overturned SSBM disc. Geb dashes over to the disc, and lifts it up to the light.

    Geb: Oh no, it is as I feared! This disc is scratched to hell and back! Only one person would do such an evil deed. ONLY ONE!!!

    CM suddenly bursts into the room, and begins "discussing with Mimiru".

    CM: You scared the living daylights out of me!

    Mimiru: That was the point. It had the desired effect also.

    CM: I assume this was your handywork also?

    Mimiru: Actually no. It really is missing.

    Geb: AS I WAS SAYING... Only one person would dare do such an evil deed!

    CM: Bill Gates?

    Mimiru: Britney Spears?

    Subaru: Forrest Gump?

    Geb: No! Even worse!

    CM: Darkside?

    Geb: Of course!!!

    Mimiru: Wait a second, what's that paper where the Gamecube should be... It wasn't there earlier...

    Geb: It must be a message from Darkside, requesting a fierce battle! He shall die for this!

    CM: Isn't he dead already?

    Subaru: Why don't we just... read it?

    Geb: Right right, fine.

    He begins to read:

    "Dear Heroes, specifically Gebohq,

    I tire of waiting for a response from you, as to the missing Gamecube and destroyed disc. As such, I figured that due to my super-powerful evilness, you may not have been able to uncover the truth as to what happened to it. Indeed, I stole it, in an effort to resume our previous non-friendly relationship. If you want your Gamecube back, you know where to find me. As for the broken disc, you can keep it, as a token of my promise to hurt you.

    Satan Forever,
    Jim."


    Geb: Like I said, it was Jim!!!

    Everyone else falls to the floor from the complete stupidity of the remark.

    CM: So, uhh, what should we do? Obviously we can't let Qwerty run around frying everything he sees fit, but an injustice such as this should not be ignored.

    Geb: There is only one choice. You and Mimiru find Qwerty, I will go find Jim, and Subaru can keep guard at the H3.

    Mimiru: What do you mean, find Jim? He's obviously...

    Geb: We don't know where he is! I have to find the slick devil.

    Mimiru: But wouldn't he be in his residency, of ...

    Geb: No! He hasn't owned a house in years!

    Mimiru: No, I mean Hel...

    Geb: Watch your language!

    Mimiru: IT'S A PLACE! HELL! HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL!!!!

    Geb: What about hell?

    Mimiru: Oh for crying out loud!!!

    CM: Geb, she means to say that Jim is probably in Hell, where he usually is.

    Geb: Oh, why didn't you just say so?

    Mimiru: ARGH! If Jim doesn't kill you, I will!!!

    CM: Woah, settle down Mimiru, he can't help it, its the lack of doughnuts. He can't think straight.

    Geb: That's right, Qwerty took the doughnuts! I better get those doughnuts back CM, or your head is going to be the new mount above the H3's fireplace!!!

    CM: What's with all the death threats and hostility?!

    Subaru: Indeed, let's just go on with this plan.

    ---

    Back at Teh Secret Base of Jim7...

    Tony: Didn't you drop that letter off like an hour ago?

    Jim7: Sure did. If he doesn't get down here in the next 5 minutes, I'm going up there! I mean, it's the Secret Base of the Devil! How hard can it be to figure out where I am?!

    Tony: Wait, I think I hear something...

    A loud whirring sound is heard. It sounds strangely familiar, as if ... could it be? The THINGY! IT'S WORKING AGAIN!

    Geb: Oh HOLY HELL THAT HURT!!! Now I remember why I don't use that stupid thingy!!!

    Jim7: Holy Hell? Are you drugged?

    Geb: Just under a little malnutrition, and a slight bit deprived of expensive assets... if you catch my drift.

    Jim7: Like a gail-force wind. Unfortunately, your Gamecube is in another castle !!!

    Geb: What? Which one?!

    Jim points randomly

    Jim7: That one!

    Geb begins to run off.

    Tony: So how long do you think it'll take for him to catch on?

    Jim7: With or without the cleverly placed plot-boosting letter?

    Tony: He can't be that stupid. It was sitting right next to your foot, in plain sight. There's even a small ring of flame around it, to illuminate it!

    Jim7: Malnutition can do a lot of things to people. Apparently for Geb, it involves a steady decrease in IQ.

    ---

    Meanwhile, in the jet, flying above the forest...

    CM: Do you see him yet?

    Mimiru: Nothing on infared... how could he have run this far?

    CM: Psychotic power-crazy mad scientists can do a lot of things. Just keep looking...

    Will CM and Mimiru ever find Qwerty? What shall become of Geb's Gamecube? Is the disc salvagable? And where the hell is TLTE? All this, and more, next century, on the Neverending Story,y,y,y.... woh, oh oh, what's with the echo, o, o, o...?

    Sound Guy: Oh whoops, TLTE came running through the office screaming, "TELEVISION AND RADIO SHALL DIE, THERE WILL BE NO WITCHCRAFT WHILE I LIVE!". We had him removed from the premesis, but he knocked a few things over.

    Everything is okay, then?

    Sound Guy: Should be.

    Okay, good. As I was saying... On the next Neverending Story!!!!

    ------------------
    "The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
    I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
    Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

    [This message has been edited by Cool Matty (edited June 10, 2004).]

  26. #186
    Back at Teh Secret Base of Jim7 footsteps are heard

    Jim7: Sounds like Geb figured out what i was doing...

    Just then geb busts in

    Geb: There is no castle that way....

    Jim7: Yes, I am aware... I pointed you in a random direction so you could run off and clear your head... do you still want your Gamecube?

    Geb: DUH!

    Jim7: Then come with me...

    Jim7 and Geb walk up to the roof of Teh Secret Base of Jim7

    Jim7: You see the dark clouds to the west surrounding the creepy looking castle there? *points*

    Geb: Yeah, what about it?

    Jim7: That is Helebon's castle... It appeared a few days before I stole the Gamecube

    Geb: Why did you steal my cube?

    Jim7: To get your attention moron...

    Geb: Hey that's not... hey is that a doughnut?

    Jim7: Yeah, there's a box of them over there... you can eat them after I tell you the rest... Your Gamecube was stolen about 2 seconds before you arrived by General Cheesebucket and taken to Helebon's castle... You must go there to get it back... you will probably have to defeat Helebon

    Geb: but, can't you...

    Jim7: I cannot interfere with this... it is not my place

    Geb: what?

    Jim7: ok, I just don't want to do it ... and anyway.. it is your destiny... but you alone cannot do it... you have many allies seek them out... they will join you

    WILL GEB DO IT? DOES HE LOVE HIS GAMECUBE THAT MUCH? WHO ARE THESE ALLIES JIM SPEAKS OF? WILL I STOP YELLING? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE NEVERENDING STORY!

    ------------------
    LONG LIVE DREAMCAST!!!
    eat right, exercise, die anyway

  27. #187
    Yecti the writer: I exist?? Holy crap. Accidental infiltration. Gah.

    ------------------
    -=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
    1337Yectiwan
    OSC Returns!!
    10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On
    -=I'm the wang of this here site, and it's HUGE! So just imagine how big I am.=-
    1337Yectiwan
    The OSC Empire
    10 of 14 -- 27 Lives On

  28. #188
    Back in Jim7's office Jim7 is writing lyrics for a song when Cthulhu walks in the room

    Cthulhu: Hey can I ask you a favor?

    Jim7: I told you the last time you asked me... NO!

    Cthulhu: But...

    Jim7: No... you remember the 60s? I let you borrow my sanity for a while I ran around thinking I was a turtle princess and all hell broke loose... so i say again NO!

    Cthulhu: I was just gonna ask if you think i should call my new doughnut shop "Cthulhu Creme Doughnuts"

    Jim7: That might need some work... sounds too dirty...

    Cthulhu: ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! oh man... i gotta rethink the name for the place...

    Jim7: wait a sec.. you are opening a doughnut shop?

    Cthulhu: yeah... i need something to do around here...

    AHHH MY SANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ------------------
    LONG LIVE DREAMCAST!!!
    eat right, exercise, die anyway

  29. #189
    B.U.M.P.! B.U.M.P. I SAY!!!!



    ------------------
    "The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
    I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
    Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

  30. #190
    *Back at the Hall of Heroes, or whatever is currently passing for it.*

    Janitor Bob: (humming) "I like to mop...it's what I do..."

    *The HoH's door flies open and a haggared, exhausted TLTE collapses to the floor. A cascade of sand from his desert adventure spills around him*

    Janitor Bob: (humming) "I make the floors...look like new..."

    The Last True Evil: "By the Kremlin, do I need a drink!"

    Janitor Bob: (still mopping) "Water fountain's to your left."

    *TLTE scrambles over to the drinking fountain, sand in his wake, and begins to quench his thirst. This takes several minutes thanks to the comically weak flow of water.*

    The Last True Evil: (wiping his mouth) "Ah! And now to announce my plans for world domination, fueled entirely by my Soviet-cultivated hatred of all mankind!"

    *Bob ignores TLTE and keeps on with his mopping. In the lounge, Otter lies sprawled on the couch, the latest Die Hard sequel playing on a flatscreen television.*

    The Last True Evil: "First, I will use my evil genius to assassinate the pope, gaining the notice of varoius media outlets."

    Janitor Bob: "Please don't track sand everywhere."

    The Last True Evil: "The resulting chaos will allow me to destroy Mount Rushmore, releasing hordes of robot warriors to my control. The Last True Evil shall become synonymous with fear!"

    Otter: (snores loudly)

    The Last True Evil: "Finally, I will implement the last phase of my secret plan and unleash thermonuclear missiles upon the earth, ushering in an Orwellian police state!"

    *Janitor Bob mops in a circle around TLTE.*

    The Last True Evil: "I WILL BECOME THE COMMUNIST EQUIVALENT OF A GOD!"

    *Otter stirs in his sleep, and potato chip crumbs dribble down his shirt.*

    The Last True Evil: "Aren't you going to stop me?"

    Janitor Bob: "No."

    The Last True Evil: "But I've just revealed to you my plans to dominate the world. Now we fight."

    Janitor Bob: (shrugs) "It's all old hat. People just don't care anymore."

    The Last True Evil: "But you're heroes."

    Janitor Bob: "Not anymore. Geb's off on some adventure -"

    *Otter wakes up.*

    Otter: "Something about Nintendo. Or something."

    Janitor Bob: "- so the rest of us have more of less gone on sabbatical. I stay here to maintain the place, and Otter hangs around because he gets to sleep on the couch."

    Otter: "It doesn't mean I'm a useless do-nothing guy! It doesn't!"

    Janitor Bob: "Nobody said it did, old buddy."

    Otter: "Good. Because then I'd have to hurt them."

    Janitor Bob: "And I think Krig is in the basement somewhere."

    *A loud crash eminates from below, followed by vaguely incoherent screaming.*

    Janitor Bob: "So that's the state of things. Feel free to use the public restrooms and the information centre. They're both squeaky-clean."

    The Last True Evil: "But what if, in an effort to destroy the world, I kidnap a senator -"

    Otter: "Nope."

    The Last True Evil: "- which I will then use to destroy the internet, activating my armies of destruction -"

    Otter: "Negatory."

    The Last True Evil: "Fine. So first I sieze control of the White House -"

    Otter: (crosses arms) "Now you're just trying to get a rise out of me."

    The Last True Evil: "- doomsday device!"

    Otter: "Like I haven't heard that one before."

    The Last True Evil: "- the end of sanity! My name will become synonymous with the phrase 'dear God, no!'"

    Otter: "Are you threatening me?"

    *Sputtering, TLTE uses up his last evil scheme.*

    The Last True Evil: "Very well. But you do realize that without your little coalition of heroes, there will be literally noone to stand in my way as I systematically demolish the free world!"

    Janitor Bob: "Well, yes, except for the various international policing agencies and conventional standing armies."

    Otter: "Yeah. It's not like we were ever the last line of defense or anything."

    *TLTE's shoulders sag.*

    The Last True Evil: "Fine. Maybe I'll just sit down and watch your silly American television."

    Otter: "Sure. The Die Hard Marathon's running all day."

    *Otter and TLTE seat themselves at the couch and Janitor Bob continues to clean. Catastrophe averted!*

    ------------------
    "Look at me! I'm Tracer! BLAHBLAHBLAH!"

    -MBeggar


    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 21, 2004).]

    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 21, 2004).]

    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 27, 2004).]
    COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY

  31. #191
    *Still at the Haunted House of Heroes...*

    Qwerty: (kicking in the door) "Look who it is! That's right: me!"

    Janitor Bob: "Why do people keep kicking the front door?"

    Qwerty: "Guess what? I nearly finsihed off your leader Gebohq, and now I've come for the rest of you lowlifes!"

    *Still engrossed in their movie, Otter and TLTE don't respond.*

    Otter: "Do you hear something?"

    The Last True Evil: "I think it's part of the movie."

    Otter: "I don't see where it could be coming from..."

    The Last True Evil: "Let's watch harder."

    *TLTE and Otter's eyes widen as they stare into the television screen.*

    Qwerty: "I will destroy you with my sorcerer's magic! Ha ha ha!"

    *POOF!*

    Janitor Bob: "Oh, hello, Jellybean pony."

    *The Jellybean pony appears on top of Qwerty, instantly crushing the life out of him.*

    Pony: ...

    Janitor Bob: "What's that, pony? The other heroes need our help?"

    Pony: ...

    Janitor Bob: "We'll get on it right away. Otter, let's go. It's time to be the good guys again."

    *Otter and TLTE get up from the TV.*

    Otter: "Wow. The Jellybean pony killed him."

    The Last True Evil: "Gruesome."

    Pony: ...

    Janitor Bob: "I'll have to clean up the mess."

    The Last True Evil: "Jellybeans can be heavier than you think."

    Pony: ...

    Otter: "You said it, Jellybean pony!"

    *Everybody laughs.*

    ------------------
    "Look at me! I'm Tracer! BLAHBLAHBLAH!"

    -MBeggar


    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 24, 2004).]

    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 24, 2004).]

    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 24, 2004).]

    [This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 24, 2004).]
    COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY

  32. #192
    Back at his (mostly) secret base where, contrary to popular belief, he has been the whole time since leaving the HHH, Qwerty watches the scene on a screen, broadcast to him compliments of a cloaked spy bot.

    Qwerty: Eck. What a mess. Robots can be so very helpful. WEll, except for Thrawn42689. That madel was a mistake, plain and simple. but these new organic bots of mine are quite a feat indeed. now those scatterbrained heros will never be able to tell me apart from my decoys. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  33. #193
    Otter: Ya know, I bet that Qwerty was a decoy...

    TLTE: Why do you say that?

    Otter: When has an important evil character died so quickly and easily?

    TLTE: A few come to mind...

    Otter: Oh come on! It's so bloody obvious! I mean, why would Qwerty just stroll in here? He has newfound magic powers, and he left here in a fit of magical craziness. Who would expect him to return as if that didn't happen?

    TLTE: So what if this is a decoy? What purpose would that serve?

    Otter: Well, we would believe him to be dead, allowing him to create an ultimate unstoppable robot army that will take over the world with their laser eyes and immense calculative abilities! Then the human race would cease to exist, and we would become an enslaved race! And we will manufacture crazy abominations, and create a huge computer system that would control our minds and make us believe we are free! Then we'd fight the system, and battle over it! After that, we'd...

    *Qwerty kicks the door in*

    Janitor Bob: Again with the door! How the heck is that thing still on its hinges?!

    Qwerty: Hold on a freaking second! I would never make a Matrix! I mean, how the hell could that possibly benefit me? Do you take me as some sort of fool? Morons!

    *Qwerty storms back out the door and heads back to his base*

    Otter: So like I said, I bet that guy is a decoy.

    TLTE: You assume too much. We must investigate further.

    Pony: ...

    Janitor Bob: I was thinking the same thing, Pony. But I'm afraid if I mention that fact to them, it would dissappoint them.

    Pony: ...

    Janitor Bob: You always know the perfect thing to say, Pony!

    ------------------
    "The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
    I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
    Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net


    [This message has been edited by Cool Matty (edited June 27, 2004).]

  34. #194
    (NSP: Sorry I took so butt-long. Here's something to move it ever-so-closer to a potential new story-arc possibly involving NeS falling asleep and battling its own nightmares, blah blah blah...)

    Meanwhile (NeS count: something-or-other) in the depths of Hell...

    Geb: *grumble* stupid lack of doougnuts...freakin hell taking my gamecube...*mutter*

    *pssst*

    Geb: I'll show that Helebon...*grumble*

    *a-HEM*

    Geb: Give him a good kick in the --

    *COUGH COUGH*

    Geb: Do you have a cold, oh Narrator?

    Don't you want to do a certain something before confronting Helebon?

    Geb: Uh... pick up some cold medicine for you?

    *sigh* Wouldn't you like to maybe look for those "allies" Jim spoke of earlier?

    Geb: Oh right, forgot about that. But where the hell am I going to get any of those around here, in uh... hell?

    JK the white: Pssst. Army of kirbies over here at your disposal. Gave a whole spiel about it a few pages back.

    Geb: Kirbs! What are you doing here?

    JK the white: -_-

    Geb: What?

    JK the white: Nevermind... do you want our help?

    Geb: Uh... *sees Helebon's intimidating castle, with sharp nasty towers and demon swarms appearing like dark winds and--* By all means, I could use some company.

    Gebohq, JK the White and the rest of the Kirby force decked out in their techie black march up to the towering gates. Suspiciously enough, they meet no opposition (save a few death glares from nearby demons aimed at our heroes) as they enter the castle and into a Hell-themed lobby. A secretary demoness sits at the desk on the other end. She looks up to see the heroes strutting all hero-like up to the desk.

    Geb: Where's Helebon?

    secretary: Ah, you must be Gebohq. Hold on a moment.

    She pushes the intercom button on her desk.

    secretary: Sir, Gebohq is here, as well as a number of short, pink things...

    Helebon: Send him in.

    secretary: Yes sir. *presses another button, and a elevator door appears nearby, opening* Helebon has been waiting for you, Gebohq. The others will have to wait here.

    JK the white: We go where Gebohq goes.

    The Kirby force starts to get a little edgy.

    secretary: You can go with him, but the rest have to stay. Take it or leave it.

    JK the white looks at the demoness secretary, then signals the other Kirbies to stay as he takes Gebohq's side. The two enter the elevator, and it begins to go up...
    --------------------------------------------
    Back at the Haunted House of Heroes...

    TLTE: So... we're still looking for Qwerty, right?

    J-Bob: Yeup.

    TLTE: Then why are we going downstairs, below this haunted house of heroes and through this creepy complex lined with signs of questionable experiments gone wrong?

    Jellybean Pony: ....

    Otter: Right, we want to get the help of the other heroes.

    TLTE: OK... something doesn't seem right though...

    They turn a corner in the corridor and through an automatic door. Lined against the walls are the other heroes, restrained and with strange devices on their heads. They immediately turn their heads to TLTE.

    Ford: Get out of here while you still can!

    TLTE: What happened? Why are you all--

    MZZT: No time for that, we need Geb!

    From the shadowy half of the room, a familiar presence steps foreward, still mostly hidden in the dark.

    voice: Did somebody call?

    TLTE: Gebohq?

    voice: Thank you for bringing him to me.

    TLTE: What?

    *CRACK!*

    The Last True Evil loses consciousness as he falls to the floor.
    --------------------------------------------
    Gebohq and JK the White look uneasy as the muzak continues to play in their elevator. The elevator stops with a 'ding' and opens to reveal a typical CEO floor-size office with lots of windows-for-walls and an impressive Hell-themed desk nearby the farthest window. The chair turns around to face the two, with Helebon in it.

    Helebon: Come in, come in... we have much to talk about.

    A bit impatient at this point, Gebohq practically stomps towards Helebon, with JK the White close behind him.

    Gebohq: Let's just get this over with so I can get back.

    Helebon: I'm afraid it's not that simple. Tell me, how is the 8th dimension for you and your little band?

    Gebohq: What's it to you?

    Helebon: Just curious. It would appear they are not with you, with the exception of these sticky puffballs.

    JK the White narrows his eyes at Helebon, who doesn't seem to know or care.

    Helebon: And what of your counterpart, hmm?

    Geb: Oh snap, I forgot!

    Helebon: Oh most interesting. I'm sure he's causing a lot of trouble over there.

    JK the White: You must go, Geb! We'll deal with this monster.

    Gebohq looks at his wristwatch, which should allow him to transport right back to the 8th dimension and the HHoH.

    Geb: Crap, no signal!

    He then turns for the elevator, which closes and dissapears, leaving no exit for Gebohq or JK the White.

    Helebon: We still have some unfinished business, fool.
    --------------------------------------------
    TLTE slowly opens his eyes, and sees that he's still in the same room, but now restrained against the wall, with some odd device attached to his head. Janitor Bob appears to be tightening one of the straps, then steps back, next to Otter, both smiling rather evil-like. Out of the shadows steps Shattered Gebohq, garbed in his dark attire.

    S. Gebohq: And here I thought you'd put up a fight, torivash.

    TLTE: Damn you ******* storywriters!

    S. Gebohq: Allow me to introduce my two newest allies...

    Janitor Bob and The Otter remove their disguises to reveal... DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN! Ahnuld and Thrawn42689!!

    TLTE: Why did I not see this coming?

    S. Gebohq: We'll ponder that one later. First, however, I think I'll take the time to perform my villianous duties and reveal to you heroes my evil plans.

    TLTE: *groan* So wrong...

    Ford: Has anyone seen my great-great grandfather Mustang around?

    S. Gebohq: *ahem*

    Ford: Right, sorry. Please continue.

    (NSP: Oh yeah, btw, I finally wrote my part of the last post, if you all haven't noticed, so NeS1999 is pretty much done now. It's technically got a few bits waiting on from Ford and TLTE, and some general cleanup, but really, it's essentially finished.)

    [This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 09, 2004).]
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  35. #195
    NSP: Well, since Tracer has been so annoyed at Qwerty's lack of doing stuff, I decided to make him a bit more... active. You'll see what I mean:

    The camera theatrically zooms out from the scene in S. Geboqh's makeshift dungeon to reveal a circular wall of TVs, rather reminiscent of the architect's room. The scene in the HHH is but one of the many scenes on the wall. In the center, in a very comfortable looking chair, is Qwerty, looking rather smug.

    Qwerty: Ha. Those buffoons. Not only were they all defeated by those three villains, but none of them have been able to detect my spy bots. Now I have views all over this dimension, and even in hell now, thanks to that idiot Gebohq.

    Qwerty now turns to another section of the monitors. These all seem to be quite a bit more red then the rest. In the center, the scene in Helebon's 'office' is playing out. Qwerty watches this for a few minutes, but then turns away, bored. He turns to yet another part of the wall, one depicting views of rather ordinary looking sections of forest. Every now and then, however, a slight shimmer in the visage betrays that something distinctly metallic lies beneath. A jet can be seen flying over a different part of the forest, although at times coming close to the shimmering part of the forest. It doesn't seem to have noticed the defects in the mirage, though, and continues on its complicated flight path. Qwerty turns away yet again, but this time returns to the scene at the HHH.

    After checking the heroes at the dungeon, he looks over at the TV showing the room where Qwerty originally left the heroes. Currently, it is empty except for Qwerty's bot, everyone being downstairs in the dungeon. So, after checking a few other screens to make sure no other characters are going to be entering that room soon, Qwerty leaves the room by a door partially hidden by even more TVs. On the other side is a very different room. This has the look of a true laboratory, parts and wires littering the floor. In the center, however, there is a rather cleaner-looking area, with five almost identical robots. They all are very leanly constructed, looking like mostly just skeletal structures on their limbs, but with heavy armor over their chests and heads. On several areas on their structures there are several nasty-looking weapons, in a few different looking holsters. Qwerty goes up to the farthest one on the left. This one looks slightly lighter then the others, not as heavily armored, with smaller, though equally nasty-looking, weapons.


    Qwerty: Ah, Thrawn49995, one of my finest creations. I think that those idiots in the HHH will be rather... interested to meet you.

    With this, Qwerty takes the detonator-looking teleporter from his pocket. He opens a small door on it to revel a monitor with a few numbers on it. He stares at this, and mumbles a few numbers to himself before closing it. Unlike CM's teleportation, the device cannot teleport to anywhere else then between the last place it was used and Qwerty's base, but that is more then sufficient enough for Qwerty's purposes. he slots it in a compartment in the Robot's chest, and flips a covered switch on the back of its head. Lights flicker over it's body, then the eyes flicker to life, displaying green and red irises. It turns it's head toward Qwerty.

    Thrawn49995: What would you have we do, master?

    Qwerty: Activate your teleporter and go teach those dimwits a lesson in villainy. And make good use of that cloaking shield, too. I want to see some good television.

    Thrawn49995: Very well, master.

    Thrawn49995 presses the button on the teleporter and is gone. Qwerty walks back to the television room. On the screen showing the room in the HHH, Thrawn49995 suddenly appears. an area surrounding the teleporter pops out of his chest, and falls to the floor. The open are quickly heals over, through a sort of nanomachine component. A small hand extends and presses the button again, and the teleporter disappears once again, leaving Thrawn49995 behind this time, however. It appears in the television room, where Qwerty deftly catches it. Turning back to the television screens, he is just in time to see the last of Thrawn49995 disappear under the nearly flawless cloaking shield. After setting his spy bot to follow Thrawn49995 through the slight signals he gives off, Qwerty feeds the link through his portable monitor, and leaves the room yet again. This time, however, he goes to another room. this one is small, but dominated by one very large screen. After checking his small monitor to make sure nothing interesting has happened yet, he looks to this monitor, which is displaying two bands that look much like sound waves, and are very similar. the one on the bottom, however, starts to differ slightly, right at a point marked 'CM's arrival'.

    Qwerty: Well, it seems I have some time before Thrawn49995 makes it down to the dungeon, and so I can take another look at this. It seems that the natural vibrations of this universe changed slightly when Cool Matty arrived. Now, if I can believe what TLTE said when we were out in that desert, which is doubtful considering he was insane, but still possible, it may have something to do with this 'NeS' thing. Maybe I can find a way to utilize this change....

    WOW! QWERTY HAS NOT ONLY HIDDEN HIS BASE FROM CM AND MIMIRU AND SENT A ROBOT TO SHAKE UP THE OTHER VILLAINS, BUT HAS ALSO SEEMES TO HAVE DISCOVERED THE VERY NATURE OF THE NES ITSELF! WHAT WILL HE DO WITH THIS KNOWLAGE? WHAT WILL OCCUR? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON THE NESQUARED!!!


    ------------------
    "No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
    -Outlaw Star
    "Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
    -Tycho, Penny Arcade
    "I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
    -DX:IW
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²

    [This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited July 06, 2004).]
    A Knight's Tail
    Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
    The Never Ending Story²
    "I consume the life essence itself!... Preferably medium rare" - Mauldis

    -----@%

  36. #196
    !.*|.M.U.E|

    It's a B.U.M.P.! in reverse.

    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  37. #197
    SAJN_Master
    Posts
    11,157
    S. Gebohq: As I was saying, my evil plans are as follows…

    S. Gebohq reveals a piece of paper from his pocket

    S. Gebohq: 2 bags of sugar, apples, co….errrm…

    TLTE starts to snicker

    S. Gebohq: SHUT UP!!! Your strapped to a wall and you still mock me!? Now where did I put my list of evil plans!?

    Ahnuld: Ha, it makes sense now. I was wondering why I couldn’t find any “Kill-All-The-Heroes” in the cereal aisle.

    Everyone except S. Gebohq starts to laugh

    S. Gebohq: Grah, Fine! That’s it I’ll be back! Ahnuld, Thrawn42689, watch the ‘heroes’.

    Ahnuld and Thrawn42689: Yes sir.

    S. Gebohq storms off

    S. Gebohq walks back in

    S. Gebohq: Heh, forgot my keys.

    S. Gebohq walks off again

    Suddenly Thrawn49995 runs in with The Jellybean Pony tied up behind him, Oh the horror!

    Thrawn49995: You must be Ahnuld and Thrawn42689, I am Thrawn49995!

    Ahnuld: Thrawn42689, you never told me you had a brother!

    Thrawn42689: I don’t…technically. Wait, what happened to Thrawn42690 – Thrawn49994?

    A plot hole begins to form

    Thrawn4955 closes the hole

    Thrawn49995: No! Silence! You foolish villains, do as I ask or I kill The Jellybean Pony!

    Ahnuld: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Fine! We’ll do anything, what do you want!?

    Thrawn49995: I want you to die.

    Thrawn42689: Ha! Yeah right, we are the same type of robot, plus I have Ahnuld!

    Thrawn49995: That won’t help you! I am harder, better, faster, stronger!

    Thrawn42689: Riiight…Well, I guess that means w…AHNULD QUICK GET THE JELLYBEAN PONY!

    Ahnuld:…I’m coming Pony!!!!!!!

    Ahnuld makes a run for The Jellybean Pony, while Thrawn42689 distracts Thrawn49995

    Ahnuld: Pony! It’s me, Ahnuld! I’m gonna get you out of here.

    The Jellybean Pony: !!!

    Ahnuld unties the Jellybean Pony, then jumps on him

    Ahnuld: Hi-ho Jelly!

    Ahnuld charges towards Thrawn49995 and places a well placed punch knocking his head clean off!

    Thrawn42689: Ahnuld!!!!!!!!!

    Ahnuld: What?!?! We won!

    Thrawn42689: No, no we didn’t! Look down!

    Ahnuld looks down to see Thrawn42689’s head at his feet

    Ahnuld: Oh my god I am so sorry! You both look so much alike, how was I supposed to know?

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Shut up and put my head back on! Or I’ll have my body kick your ***!

    Thrawn49995: Ahahahaha, you two truly are morons! Qwerty was right!

    Thrawn42689’s Head: I can’t believe my own father, Qwerty has betrayed me…*sniff*

    Thrawn49995 begins to feel bad for Thrawn42689

    Thrawn49995: Oh jeese, that’s right, he IS your father too!

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Ahnuld now!

    Thrawn49995: Wha?

    Ahnuld rushes up to Thrawn49995 and hands him a box of tissue

    Thrawn42689’s Head: No, you dolt!

    Ahnuld: Oh! That! Right.

    Ahnuld punches off Thrawn49995’s head

    Thrawn49995’s Head: No! I’ve been tricked!

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Quick! Narrator! Tell a lie!

    What do I look like Pinocchio to you?!

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Just do it!

    Fine.. ehem. Ahnuld is made of wood

    Ahnuld: I am no…...aaaaaahhh.

    Everyone in the room falls into a plothole

    Ahnuld: THIS, was your brilliant plan?!

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Just shut up and wait…uhh Plot Hole Wizard?! You there?!

    PHW: Huh? Oh yes, who is speaking?

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Look down!

    PHW: Ah! Oh, I remember you. Prawn and Donald, right?

    Ahnuld: Ahnuld not Donald

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Thrawn…not Prawn.

    PHW: Right, right, I knew th..ohh, whats this?

    The Plot Hole Wizard picks up Thrawn49995’s Head off the ground.

    Thrawn49995: Hey, put me down you creepy old man!

    PHW: Well hello to you too! I am The Plot Hole Wizard, I shall now grant your three wishes.

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Oh, actually Plot Hole Wizard, he’s with us. He even asked us to wish FOR him.

    Ahnuld picks up Thrawn49995’s head and covers it’s mouth

    Thrawn49995: Mhhffmffffmm fmmfmfm!!!

    PHW: Alright then, what are your three wishes.

    Ahnuld: I want to have wings!

    PHW: I’m sorry, I can’t do that.

    Ahnuld: Why not?!

    PHW: Because you already look stupid enough!

    Ahnuld: Aww….

    PHW: Alright, wish number two?

    Thrawn42689’s Head: Yes! I wish that my head was re-attached to my body!

    PHW: It is done

    The Plot Hole Wizard waves his hand, and poof Thrawn42689 is whole again

    PHW: And for your third wish?

    Thrawn42689: I wish that Ahnuld and I could go back to the HHoH.

    PHW: What about your other friend?

    Thrawn42689: No, he wants to stay here. Don’t ya buddy?

    Thrawn49995’s Head: Mffh MmM!!! MMM!!!!!

    Thrawn42689: See? He loves it here.

    PHW: All right then, nice seeing you two again.

    Poof

    Back at the HHoH

    Ahnuld: That was an excellent idea! Thrawn49995 is gone, yippie!

    Back in the realm of the Plot Hole Wizard

    Thrawn49995’s Head: No really, they weren’t with me! I wanted to wish on my own! Please let me! Just one!

    PHW: Fine fine! Just stop begging! One wish.

    Thrawn49995’s Head: Bwahaha! I wish that I was with my body!

    PHW: It is done…

    The Plot Hole Wizard raises his hand and POOF, Thrawn4995’s body appears next to him

    Thrawn49995’s Head: NOOOOOOO!!! I wanted my head to go back to my body in the HHoH!!! You fool!

    PHW: You never said that… You just said you wanted to be with your body!

    Thrawn49995’s Head: Fine! I wish I was back in the HHoH with my body!

    PHW: I’m sorry you’ve already made your wish.

    Thrawn49995’s Head: Oh man….

    PHW: Here, have some tea

    Thrawn49995’s Head: Oh, why thank you.

    Back at the HHoH S. Gebohq makes his return

    S. Gebohq: Ah, I see you two handled things well without me. Any problems?

    Thrawn42689 and Ahnuld: NO!

    S. Gebohq: Oh..well alright then. Anyway, I got my other copy of my evil plans.

    Ahnuld: Why did you get your other copy? I have the original right here.

    Ahnuld hands S. Gebohq the Evil plans

    S. Gebohq: Why didn’t you tell me you had them before I left?!?

    Ahnuld: I thought you were just leaving to let off some steam….

    S. Gebohq: *sigh*

    Whew, that was a close one! Ahnuld and Thrawn42689 have defeated Thrawn49995, and S. Gebohq is finally about to reveal his EVIL PLANS! What are they? Find out next time on THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED!


    ------------------
    I made a thread, that turned into the debate, so I made a second thread, that turned into a debate, then I made a third thread, that caught on fire, burned down, got flamed, crapped on, bashed, then turned into a debate...but the fourth one, the fourth one stayed on topic!

    [This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited July 14, 2004).]
    Think while it's still legal.

  38. #198
    CM: We're getting nowhere, Mimiru. We should head back to the house, the jet is almost out of fuel.

    Mimiru: This is pissing me off, you know? I have done deep scans of this entire island, and there is still no signs of him, nor any base!

    CM: You mean you didn't even find his secret base? But I was already there! It wasn't exactly hidden.

    Mimiru: Then you explain just how such a base could simply disappear?

    CM: Oh hell if I know. I'm turning around, this thing is running on fumes already.

    Mimiru: Yeah, sure. Maybe we can find some info on my computer at home.

    CM: If you CAN'T find any info, then I know we're in trouble. That computer of yours has a larger database of information than the Pentagon!

    Mimiru: Most of which can be attributed to hacking into the Pentagon and stealing all their information, but I digress.

    CM turns the jet around and heads back to Mimiru's island mansion. They arrive not much later, and land gracefully, thanks to computer autolanding systems.

    Mimiru: Umm, CM?

    CM: Yeah? What is it?

    Mimiru: I forgot to order more fuel last week. The house is out of fuel, we can't refill the jet.

    CM: Oh, just GREAT. How could you forget?

    Mimiru: We were a bit BUSY, remember?

    CM: You mean that whole hell thing? Psh, that's no reason to forget!

    Mimiru: Come here so I can slap you!

    CM runs from Mimiru, down to the basement (sub-level 1 to be exact) where the info center is located.

    CM: Well, lets see what we have!

    CM jumps into the chair, and brings up the search box. A list of previous searches appears.

    CM: Ack, what's this? Sound of Music? Gone with the Wind? WEST SIDE STORY? Who were you trying to kill?!

    Mimiru: Oh shutup! They're good movies!

    CM: By whose standards? I thought it was illegal to watch those movies!

    Mimiru: I feel another slap coming on...

    CM: Alright, geez, no slapping please. I'm searching.

    CM looks through the database on information about Qwerty. They come up with little, until finally they stumble upon a zip file.

    CM: Gee, what's in here?

    CM opens the zip

    CM: Bad CRC?! Mimiru, don't you keep your files in good working order?!

    Mimiru: I just tested all the files last week! There wasn't any CRC errors!

    CM: Well that can't be right... lemme check the access logs...

    CM opens some firewall logs, only to find out that a hacking attempt had occured only a few hours earlier.

    CM: Ah ha! A hacker...

    Mimiru: But it seems as if he didn't obtain access, so how did he mess with the file?

    CM: Well, he managed to obtain access for a short while, before your security system locked him out.

    Mimiru: Oh, okay. So Qwerty was hacking into my files... wonder what he is hiding...

    CM: Well it must be the location of his base. Let's see what we can get from this zip...

    After some long hours with hex editors, and lots of notepad work, he manages to find nothing. Qwerty was successful in corrupting the file beyond usefulness.

    Mimiru: This is a lost cause. We should start heading back to HHH...

    CM: No, just wait. We have to make this trip purposeful. I'm not heading back to HHH with empty hands.

    Mimiru: Well I am flat out of ideas, unless you have some suggestions of your own...

    CM: Oh I have an idea... it's something that has been bothering me for a while.
    Mimiru: Oh? What's that?

    CM: Do you want to restart your magic training? If we are going to be battling Qwerty, the more magic users, the better.

    Mimiru: Well yes, of course I want to, but I thought you didn't want to teach me anymore, especially after the previous incident.

    CM winces at the word, suddenly remembering what had happened the last time he tried to teach Mimiru how to do those fire skills. She had managed to spark a flame, which was quite a feat, except for the fact that it was sparked right on his cloak. He was forced to teleport into the pool. After that, he swore never to teach her.

    CM: Well, I am ... willing ... to try one more time, if you want.

    Mimiru: Well that would be awesome! Com'on CM! I promise I won't burn you again!

    CM(under his breath): famous last words

    CM and Mimiru head to the practice room, which is lined with durable mats both on the floor and the walls. A recent remodel added fireproofing to the mats, as well.

    CM: You had the place fireproofed?

    Mimiru: Well, if you remember correctly, you were practicing here, and you neglected to extinguish one of the test dummies, which prompted a beautifully destructive fire.

    CM: Umm... I don't remember that.

    Mimiru: That would be because you fainted from oxygen deprivation.

    CM: Oh.

    Mimiru: Well, anyway, can we start now?

    CM: ... Oh, right right. Almost forgot! First thing is first. Close your eyes.

    Mimiru does so, and relaxes.

    CM: Good! Now, lift up your right hand, and open it, palm to the sky. What I need you to do next is imagine a wick of flame in your palm. Not too hot, just warm, like campfire. Imagine that fire growing, and growing, until it engulfs your entire hand. However, it is still not hot.

    CM: Now focus that flame, and force it into a little ball. Smaller, smaller, until you can barely see it in the middle of your hand. Focus it, even smaller now. Good! Now, open your eyes...

    Mimiru opens her eyes, to see a large flame sitting in her hand...

    Mimiru: I did it!

    CM: Of course you did!

    Mimiru: But how does focusing it small make it so big?

    CM: By focusing to a small point, you give the fire a physical presence it normally doesn't have. Although it is very small, it is plenty enough to create fire, and to control it. The more you practice focus, the better you shall become at creating fire, in different forms.

    Mimiru: Amazing...

    [i]Mimiru lifts it to her face, and looks at the fire closely.

    Mimiru, in her excitement, drops her focus on the flame, which causes it to explode outward after it's physical mass is released. The fire almost immediately extinguishes from her hand, but lights her clothes on fire.

    CM: Mimiru! Oh my god!

    Thinking quickly, CM, via telekinesis, pulls the fire alarm, setting off the sprinklers in the room. Mimiru falls to her knees, but the fire goes out. CM kneels down in front of Mimiru, scared that she might be seriously hurt. Her hands are over her eyes.

    CM: Mimiru, are you okay? What hurts? Are you burned anywhere?

    Mimiru lifts her head and looks at CM, and lowers her hands slightly. Small burns are revealed across her face, but more importantly, her eyes do not seem to be in good shape.

    Mimiru: Matt.... I ... I can't see... I think I'm going blind!

    CM: Hold on! I'll get you to a hospital!

    CM hurridly grabs Mimiru's shoulder, and closes his eyes. He imagines the closest hospital, in the ER area. Focusing on that location, he teleports them to the ER, where he proceeds to carry her into the ER, and check her in. He stays in the hall long enough to see Mimiru wheeled away on a stretcher, then slumps into a chair in the waiting room, completely exhausted from the teleport.

    Doc Oc: Sir, are you Matthew?

    CM(Drowsy): Wha? Ugh, who are you?

    Doc Oc: I am Dr. Oc Simons. I was the one treating Mimiru's injuries.

    CM quickly comes to attention, and looks up at the doctor.

    CM: How is she? Is she alright? How is her eyesight?

    Doc Oc: Woah now, settle down. It seems that she only suffered from mild burns to her face, and she is only suffering from temporary blindness. She has almost fully recovered from it already, although I have set an appointment with an eye doctor to look for any lingering damage, to be on the safe side.

    CM: Thank God... can I visit her?

    Doc Oc: Of course.

    Doc Oc leads CM to Mimiru's room.

    Doc Oc: She's just inside. I'll give you a few moments alone.

    CM: Thank you.

    CM steps inside, and closes the door. Mimiru, whose head is wrapped in bandages, turns to CM.

    Mimiru: They say I'll be out in a day or two, depending on how these burns heal.

    CM: Well that's good to hear.

    Mimiru: I messed up again... I can't believe I did that.

    CM: No, now wait. It was my fault, I didn't tell you the importance behind focusing...

    Mimiru: Well, at least I'll be alright. My eyesight is doing well, I can already read stuff across the room again, but everything has a bright white tint to it.

    CM: Well, you are going to see an eye doctor, so we'll see how you check out.

    Mimiru: There is a different problem though, CM...

    CM: What? What else is wrong? Is it... it isn't, right?

    Mimiru: Huh? Oh no! Not that. I tried to do the flame spell again a little while ago...

    (NSP: I'll explain that "it" later, lots later. weee)

    CM: You WHAT? Why on earth would you try it again?

    Mimiru: It doesn't matter. Look, when I tried, I ... kinda missed.

    CM: Missed?

    Mimiru: See that black scorch mark on the floor? It started up there instead of my hand...

    CM: And you were concentrating on your hand?

    Mimiru: Yeah, I was. I don't know what happened.

    CM: We'll figure that out later. What is more important is that you get better.

    Mimiru: I burnt a lot of my hair in that incident, ya know. I think I am going to try a new hair style now. Something... exotic.

    CM: But I thought you couldn't do anything with your hair.

    Mimiru: I'm in an experimental mood, I guess.

    A couple days later, Mimiru is released from the hospital. She visits an eye doctor, who gives her a pair of glasses. After she leaves the building, she meets up with CM again.

    CM: So, what's the prognosis?

    Mimiru: They discovered why I keep missing with my fire spells. They discovered when I summon the power for it, it blurs my vision. I'll have to wear these glasses whenever I use the power, now.

    CM: Well at least they figured out what was wrong. Any permanent damage?

    Mimiru: Besides the fire spell deal, no. I should be fine.

    CM: That's great news!

    Mimiru: I want to continue training though...

    CM: No problem, let's head back to the mansion.

    They head back, although Mimiru makes a quick stop in a hair stylist, and picks up a new hair doo. Then they go home, where CM successfully teaches Mimiru many new spells which will help her in the future. (NSP: Check the upcoming Character Sheet post for more info on her new skills!!!) After a few more days of training, the jet fuel finally arrives, and CM and Mimiru head back to HHH, in hopes of finding the other heroes and finding Qwerty.

    This post is brought to you by: Dunkin Donuts, because Donuts deserve to be Dunked!

    Stay tooned, for the next post on the NEVERENDING STOOOORRRRYYYYYYY..... echo...echo...echo...echo...

    Guy on Cell: Can you hear me now? Good!

    ------------------
    "The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
    I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
    Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

  39. #199
    Meanwhile, in another part of the 8th dimension, deep within the seeminly endless forest, a small campfire burns. It is a poorly made campfire, made with damp firewood and grass, and it doesn't give off much heat, but at least it's burning. On either side of it sits a ragged-looking figure, huddled over the flames trying to keep away the night's chill. On the left sits a man dressed in a waiter's tuxedo, his once slicked-back hair now beginning to lose it's precise neatness. His pointy little moustache is beginning to fray, and his cheeks are covered in stubble. His eyes glance furtively across the flames at the guy on the right.

    The guy on the right huddles down, clutching an empty whiskey bottle to his chest. His black bowler hat is scuffed and worn, and his black trenchcoat is splattered with mud. He too has a facefull of stubble, and an uncombed goatee. He stares through round sunglasses lenses at his counterpart across the flames, eyes narrowed and suspicious.


    TheOtter: "You can't have it. It's mine."

    CookedHaggis: "I don't want your bloody whiskey bottle! There's nothing in it anyway!"

    Otter: "Good. It's mine. All mine."

    Haggis: "You know, you're not very pleasant when you're sober."

    The two glare at each other across the flames. Otter adjusts his bowler hat. They stare some more.

    Haggis: "By Jove, I'm hungry. They don't teach you wilderness survival skills in Waiter School."

    Otter: "I don't need food. All I need is my whiskey. My precious whiskey. That's all."

    Haggis: "For God's sake, snap out of it man! That bottle is empty! It's been empty since the first day we got to this godforsaken place and you drank it all! You're losing touch with reality!"

    Otter stares at Haggis, a suspicious expression on his face.

    Otter: "You just want my whiskey! I'm on to you!"

    Haggis: "I don't want your bloody whiskey! Gah! I wish Krig would return so he would bash your head in with that axe of his!"

    Otter: "He's been gone for hours. He's not coming back. It's just you and me now."

    Haggis: "You said that last time he took off. He'll be back. He can't chase invisible rabbits forever."

    Otter: "Invisible rabbits. The bloody Viking's off his bloody rocker. He's seeing things."

    Haggis: "Actually, that's fairly normal for him. At least he's not obsessing over invisible whiskey!"

    Otter: "You stay away from my whiskey, you theif! Theif! It's mine!"

    Just then, there is a rustling in the bushes. Both ragged Brits snap their heads up, staring wide-eyed at the bushes.

    Haggis: "Uh, hello? Who's there?"

    Otter: "Maybe it's Krig... maybe he's come back for us... to destroy us... and steal my whiskey!"

    Haggis: "Hush, you. Krig, are you there?"

    From the bushes leaps a cloaked figure, tall and evil-looking. A wicked grin splits his face as he begins to cackle to himself.

    Evil Cloaked Figure: "Bwahahaha! Bow before me, for I am AIKANARO, LORD HIGH MASTER OF EVIL!"

    Haggis: "'Lord High Master of Evil'? Don't you think that's a little overdone?"

    Otter: "You stay away from my whiskey, you hear me?! Stay away!"

    Aikanaro: "I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL! Bwahahahaha!"

    Haggis: "Say, you look a little beat up, there, did someone mop the floor with the Lord High Master of Evil?"

    Aikanaro: "SILENCE FOOL! NO-ONE SPEAKS OF THE GREAT COOL MATTY IN MY PRESENCE!"

    Haggis: "CM, eh? I would have thought he'd be one of the first to die in this godforsaken place..."

    Just then, a small white rabbit hops out of the bushes. It hops over to theOtter's feet. Otter notices it, screams in terror, and jumps over the fire to get away. Haggis sees the rabbit, thinks quickly, grabs it, and throws it at Aikanaro. Aikanaro looks confused.

    Aikanaro: "What are you fools afraid of? It's only a rabb--"

    There is a resounding **CRACK** as a tiny ball of fury leaps out from the same bushes the rabbit emerged from, and smacks Aikanaro in the head with an axe-handle. Aikanaro trips and falls as axe-handle-blows fall like hail.

    Otter and Haggis: "KRIG!"

    Krig: "STINKY MAN STAY AWAY FROM RABBIT! RABBIT BELONG TO KRIG!"

    Haggis: "Well I'll be a monkey's great-aunt, there really was a rabbit after all..."

    ----------------------
    Hours later, the three heroes sit around the fire, roasting meat over the fire and singing songs. As they finish a rousing round of "I've Got a Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts", Otter takes a swig from his empty whiskey bottle.

    Otter: "...an' tha'sh how I shaved Chrishmash!"

    Haggis: "I must say, Krig, Otter and I were quite convinced that your rabbit was merely a hunger-induced hallucination, but we rather underestimated you. I'm simply glad the rabbit led you back to us."

    Krig: "Krig almost catch two rabbits, but one get away. Big one. Six feet tall. Say name was Harvey."

    Haggis: "...on the other hand, perhaps you're just as mad as the rest of us."

    Krig grins a toothy grin, bits of meat still between his teeth. Haggis takes a bite from his own piece of meat.

    Haggis: "Still, I'd always thought cannibalism would be much more repulsive! That Aikanaro fellow tastes rather like chicken. I'll have to reccomend it to the chef when we get back home!"

    Ye Gads! Can our Heroes really have descended into cannibalism? Have they really killed and roasted Aikanaro? Why didn't they eat the rabbit? And where is Maybechild, the only Hero left unaccounted for? Stay tuned to CNN to find out!

    I mean, wait! Not CNN! I meant to say the Never-ending Story! Blast it, why do I always do that? Agh!


    ------------------
    Krig have signature.
    Krig smash.
    So sayest the Writer of Silly Things!

  40. #200
    (NSP: Hey, all, I'm here today to actually write a post! Don't everyone cheer at once...)

    -----

    In the Creepy Underground Complex (TM), where the Shattered Gebohq holds temporary sway, with his allies Thrawn, Ahnuld, and the Jellybean Pony, Shattered Gebohq is about to tell the heroes his evil plan.

    Qhobeg: Hey, you know, I'm not really Gebohq. I'm just a clone of him, made by Jim.

    S. Geb: Silence, fool! Tremble before my mighty power as-

    TLTE: The only thing we're gonna tremble before is your putrid breath.

    The others snicker.

    S. Geb: *glares* ANYWAY, my evil plan consists of conducting all your neuroelectrical energy into a single vessel, namely this.

    He gestures towards an imposing machine that was wheeled into the underground complex under a curtain.

    S. Geb: Then, I will transfer a portion of my own neuroelectrical energy into each of your bodies, making you my slaves! Bwahahahahahahahaha!

    -----

    Helebon: Ah, yes, Geb Ohq. The greatest hero of all time.

    Geb: Er, I dunno about that, but really, all I want is my donuts. And my GameCube.

    Helebon: Indeed. Well, listen to my proposition, Geb.

    JK the White: We'll have no dealings with you, Helebon. Right, Geb?

    Geb: I'll do whatever you want, Helebon, as long as I get my donuts- er, I mean, right, Kirbs.

    JK the White: *sighing* Gebohq, I AM a Druid of Doughnutdelf. I can give you an infinite supply of donuts.

    Geb: You can? Why didn't you say so before?!

    JK the White: Um, you never asked.

    Helebon: HELLO - I'm still here, you both stand helpless in my domain.

    Geb: Hardly. I wield the NeSword, which, in addition to controlling the NeS, commands the loyalty of all Kirbies everywhere.

    Helebon: Except for the fact that you are in the Writer's Block. Your powers are nothing here. For without ideas, without creativity, there is nothing you can do.

    Geb: Errrrrrmm. . .

    JK the White: I think he has a point, Geb.

    Egads! What will happen to our intrepid heroes now?

    -----

    Deep within the creepy underground complex (TM), a dead man walks. Though flesh is full, and blood flows through his veins, there is only death upon his eyes. It is the look of a man who has seen too much death, who has wearied of life, and is now stuck somewhere inbetween. Abandoned by his writer long ago, in time out of mind, he is, truly, alone.

    To those who once named him friend, he is called Highemperor, but in truth, his real identity has long since been forgotten among the backwash of history.


    Highemperor: *in a voice of pale death* I knew you would come.

    Voice: -DID YOU NOW-

    Highemperor: Yes. You have haunted my dreams for an eternity.

    Voice: -AN ETERNITY? HAS IT THEN BEEN SO SHORT A TIME-

    Highemperor: Perhaps. Perhaps not. Time, or the lack of it, is meaningless to such as we, is it not? In any case, say what you came to say.

    Voice: -YOU WHO STYLE YOURSELF HIGHEMPEROR, HAVE EVER DEMANDED RESPECT, HAVE EVER JUDGED ALL ELSE, BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN JUDGED; YET YOU NOW PRESENT YOURSELF FOR JUDGEMENT BEFORE ME-

    Highemperor: *in a ghastly whisper* Yes.

    Voice: -DO YOU THEN SUBMIT YOURSELF TO THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF MY JUDGEMENT-

    Highemperor: I do.

    Voice: -SO BE IT-

    -----

    Helebon: I now summon the powers of the seven deadly NeSins against you, Geb Ohq the Great! One, EeP, through Seven, the Writer's Block itself!

    Gebohq raises his NeSword magnificently, and a gleam of hellfire shines from it.

    Helebon: Are you then to go down fighting, Gebohq?

    Gebohq: You are correct, Helebon, in that I have no power here. For the NeSword is powered by creativity, and here in the Tenth Circle of Hell, there is only annihilation.

    JK the White: *aside* Hey, Geb, I think HighempTheWriter's writing this post...

    Geb: *aside* No duh, how could you tell?

    Helebon: Do you not even attempt to summon your paltry human creativity against me, either, futile as it may be?

    Geb: No.

    Helebon: You are surrendering?

    Geb: Nein.

    Helebon: Then what are you doing?

    Geb: Option number 3. When in doubt, geb it.

    Helebon: Geb it? *laughs* You can't! There is no place for you to run!

    Geb: There is always my mind. Though you have power over the NeS here in the Tenth Circle, where I am powerless, I can still command the NeS outside of the Tenth Circle from here.

    Helebon: Yes, but the effects won't reach into the Writer's Block. So you'll lose anyway.

    Geb: Not if I order the NeS itself to geb it.

    Helebon: WHAT? You wouldn't dare!

    Geb: I just did.

    -----

    Simultaneously, Geb orders the NeS to geb it; and Shattered Gebohq throws the switch on the neurotransfer machine. A crackling and a popping are heard all over the NeS, as it splits down the center.

    --KZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT--

    Our heroes stand in a haze. The ground is solid fog; the sky and area around them, shrouded in mist.

    Geb: What happened?

    Otter: And where are my sunglasses?

    Haggis: Cry me a river. I'm missing my towel.

    Krig: *exclaiming* Krig no have helmet!

    The other heroes, who are all gathered here, each and every one of them, likewise murmur their confusion over their predicament, and the loss of something precious to them. For starters, Geb has lost the NeSword, in addition to Otter's sunglasses and Krig's helmet.

    Ford: As the team scholar, I believe I can deduce the answer. Helebon was about to destroy Gebohq here and claim the NeSword for himself, at the same time that the evil Geb was going to neurotransfer the energetic essences of some of the other heroes into his nanotechnological device. Geb, however, told the NeS to "geb it", or, in other words, leave the NeSword, bereaving it of its powers, so that, despite Geb's death, Helebon wouldn't gain anything through claiming the now-powerless NeSword.

    Haggis: I follow that, so far, but how did we all get HERE?

    Ford: Well, it seems to me that when the NeS gebbed it from Gebohq's mystic channeling sword, it automatically lodged itself in the minds of the other heroes - the ones who were strapped to evil Geb's neurotransferral machine. And when their minds were transferred to energy cells in the machine, the NeS itself went with them, not to mention overloading evil Geb's device, so that the very Neverending Story Thread we know and love entered into a comatose state, where it - and all of those within it - are in a perpetual REM state.

    Otter: Meaning what?

    Ford: Meaning we're all dreaming.

    Jim: Somehow, I thought dreamland would a little, you know... brighter.

    Ford: Well, this fog represents the POTENTIAL that the NeS dreamland can become. Everything except that which is already clearly defined is only potential, probability, and possibility in this dreamland. By focusing our wills, we can morph the landscape around us, even shapeshift our bodies.

    Geb: Could I will the NeSword back into my hand?

    Krig: And helmet?

    Otter: What about my stylin' shades?

    Ford: No to you, Geb, because the NeSword is already clearly defined, a staple of the NeS story. You could will a plastic copy of the NeSword into your hands, but it wouldn't work, because it wouldn't be the real thing. No, I'm afraid we'll have to quest through dreamland to regain our lost possessions.

    Qhobeg: What about the villains?

    Ford: They, too, could be in this dreamland, though I suspect that they too have lost their most prized possessions as well, if that's the case. Darkside, for example, will have lost his captive souls, and will be an almost normal, albeit evil, human being.

    Geb: Alright, then, let's get going!

    -----

    In another area of the fog that is the dreamstate of NeS, Highemperor stands hunched over the ground. He has willed a portion of soil into being in the ground of solid mist, and concentrates. A single lily grows out of the soil in an instant.

    Highemp plucks it and smells deeply of it, breathing in its rich fragrance. As he does, the life returns to his eyes.


    Highemperor: "Lily, my Lily... for love of Lily."

    After reciting those seven words in five short seconds with more passion than most can muster in a lifetime, he stands up, and lets the lily go, watching blow into the fog, adrift on a phantom wind...

    -----

    (NSP: Alright, we are now officially in the dreamstate of NeS. Here are some ideas I had.

    One: The heroes have to split into separate quests to regain their special possessions, powers, and/or abilities; but they can morph (consciously or unconsciously) themselves and the landscape about them.

    Two: Highemp is going to be wandering all about, but don't do much of anything with him right now. I'll come back to him in a later post.

    Thanks!)

    ------------------
    Visit my all-new website, the Lazarus Citadel!
    Last edited by Gebohq; 11-29-2004 at 09:22 PM.

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