Ok, so my story starts out like this...


My sister had a baby, but I took it over because she passed away, and then the baby lost its arms and legs so now its nothing but a stub, and I have had to work a second shift at the factory just to put food on the table but all the love I see in the little guys eyes make it worth it in the end.


True story.

But there's more.

Looking into Stubby's lil' eyes (his name is Stubby, true story), I notice something odd, so I took him to the doctor, and he said Stubby needed glasses. Things were made difficult, however, as Stubby lost his ears as well, so I bought him sports glasses with straps with what money I could scrap up. The lil' guy looked something like a human cannonball.

True story.

(Non-story post: Why not?)

And then after the sports glasses Stubby got lost in the sewers where he met an alligator and screamed the alligators head off (literrally) and then used the Force to lift himself out and use invisible hands, legs, and ears just like in Veggie Tales.