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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Correct Grammar
Correct Grammar
2012-10-04, 1:23 PM #1
PAST TENSE.

That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain, I thought. There was nothing I could have done to save these men. It could make me vulnerable, and without me, the whole operation would have went to ****. It was a calculated decision.

OR

That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain, I thought. Trying to save them would be* an unnecessary risk, and without me, this whole operation went to ****. It was a calculated decision.

*would have been?
幻術
2012-10-04, 1:25 PM #2
second ye cuz rewrite. ANYWAY. post ur grammar confuzionsw.
幻術
2012-10-04, 1:27 PM #3
That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain, I thought. If I were to shout to them, there was no telling how they would react. It could make me vulnerable, and without me, this whole operation went to ****.
幻術
2012-10-04, 2:02 PM #4
[http://farm1.static.flickr.com/126/402845296_7a029c0ba8.jpg]
幻術
2012-10-04, 2:45 PM #5
I have no idea what you're doing, but I don't think you need that comma after "me".
nope.
2012-10-04, 2:51 PM #6
That could very well be true! Thank you.

More hamster?

[http://hamsternet.nl/wp-content/uploads/funny-pictures-hamster-wants-more.jpg]
幻術
2012-10-04, 3:00 PM #7
Always had issues with tenses, agggr.
幻術
2012-10-04, 3:28 PM #8
Yes, if you add the would have been/would've been to the second bit of your first post, then remove that comma and possibly add inverted commas around the underlined bit, you're golden.
nope.
2012-10-04, 3:40 PM #9
The underlines are supposed to be italics, indicating thought.

[http://media.veryfunnypics.eu/2012/06/funny-picture-no-hamster.jpg]

:D :D :D
幻術
2012-10-04, 3:46 PM #10
Not a grammar issue, but double consonants always **** me in spelling.
I had a blog. It sucked.
2012-10-04, 3:51 PM #11
That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain, I thought. These men were doomed, and there was nothing I could do about it. I momentarily considered yelling for them to run, but there was no way to know that they'd have the brains to sprint for the trees. They could expose me, and without me this whole operation went to ****. I waited. It was a calculated decision.
幻術
2012-10-04, 3:56 PM #12
>> Not a grammar issue, but double consonants always **** me in spelling.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNAKE!!!
幻術
2012-10-04, 4:51 PM #13
It's not specifically a grammar issue. You're writing in the passive voice, which tends to make things look a little... odd. Here it is rewritten in active voice:

That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain , I thought. Trying to save them was an unnecessary risk. Without me, this whole operation was doomed to fall to ****. It was a calculated decision.
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2012-10-04, 8:55 PM #14
Correct grammar*
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2012-10-04, 9:59 PM #15
It is the Emperor's name in vain to be taken, I thought these people were found guilty, and you can do nothing at the moment to be running, screaming, but there is a way to know that you have a mind, Sprint tree. I can not open and I sincerely without action. I was hoping that it was a calculated decision.
2012-10-05, 9:55 PM #16
You Vin thank.
幻術
2012-10-06, 4:08 PM #17
how about:

That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain
, I thought. Trying to save them was an unnecessary risk, and, without me this whole operation went to ****. It was a calculated decision.

or:

That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain, I thought. Trying to save them would have been an unnecessary risk. Without me, this whole operation would have gone to ****. It was a calculated decision.


It really depends on the situation.. But none of your examples looks specifically wrong to me.. Just depends on whether the operation has already gone to ****, is in the process of going to ****, or is about to go to ****. And I can't tell for sure cause there's not enough context.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2012-10-08, 4:55 PM #18
Anyway thanks for yall help. That's the context / segment so far (obv there's like 1500 words b4 it so tis the bit further down):

---

A man in a spacesuit much like my own climbed out of the transport's escape hatch. He hesitated for a second, then took off his helmet.

"Hey, Barnie," he said, "You owe me a twenty."

Another man, helmetless, climbed out onto the hull. I prayed these two were the only crew onboard.

"Better safe than suffocated, like my grandpa used to say. Would you look at this place! By the Emperor's Staff, we crashed into a tropical forest!"

"Hey, hold on," the first man said, "Do you hear this?"

"Hear what?"

"It's like… Like something's humming."

That's what you get for taking the Emperor's name in vain, I thought. These men were doomed, and there was nothing I could do about it. I momentarily considered yelling for them to run, but there was no way to know that they'd have the brains to do it. They could expose me, and without me this whole operation would go to ****. I waited. It was a calculated choice.

The humming reached its apex. Light beams cut through the trees, forcing the men to cover their eyes. A Prisoner Transfer Ship hovered metres above the jungle floor, its projectors turning day into night. Half a dozen Guard Drones orbited the Transfer Ship, humming, eager for the kill. I expected no less. The Guard Drones were a nasty piece of work, the ultimate chase and destroy machines. The cannons under their metal bodies now all pointed at the blinded men, adjusting their aim mid-flight. The Drones changed trajectories at random, flying in mind-bending defense patterns Weiss had calculated over thousands of years of studying war.

"This is Commander Conrad Weiss," said a soft voice, amplified in the Prisoner Transfer Ship's loudspeakers. "You and all other life forms on this vessel must surrender your arms and come with us peacefully."

The first man on the ship put his helmet back on. "You climb right back in, Barnie. I'll handle this."

"I'm afraid Barnie will have to stay," Commander Weiss said.
幻術

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