A. The kickstand that no one else seems to complains about, sure. The iPad smart cover disengages easily when you use it on your lap too, but no one complains about that because it's silly. And the magnet side scratches up the iPad's surface like crazy. It's a kickstand, not a table.
B. Can't imagine why they'd want a high-res over low res screen! (That's sarcasm) This is a price point problem, not a failing of the tablet. Nexus 7 doesn't get the same complaints because it's got a price point to match.
C. The power connector is a problem, but a minor one. It's not ruining the entire device.
D. The touchscreen has to do with Windows lagging, not the screen.
E. The hardware speed isn't the problem, we know what's inside it and we've seen it work on other devices (see also: Android). The problem was that Microsoft didn't get nearly the optimization of Windows/Office that it needed to to make ARM work. Again, it's software.
F. Oh god, covers get dirty. That's obviously a mark off the device. I guess I should throw away every other cover I've ever used too.
G. And now you're
really reaching for things to complain about. An SD card under an easily movable kickstand. The way you mention this would sound like you have to dismantle it to get to the SD card. Frankly, I think it's better there. It's protected by the kickstand from the elements, and yet still easy to insert/remove. If you seriously swap SD cards so often (like multiple times an hour) that this is an issue, get an SD card reader. *waits for some ridiculous comment about how some guy cut his chair in half via the kickstand when removing an SD card*
Funny thing is, I'm not even being a Microsoft apologist with this. You just irrationally want to hate the Surface because Windows 8 blows so hard. I don't even want a Surface (anymore) because Android's been doing some exciting stuff. But I'm not trying to burn down the hardware for the failings in software. WebOS had a similar problem (except it wasn't UI, it was just performance). The Palm Pre was a damn good little device. It wasn't perfect (there were some joint problems that were fixed rather quickly and covered under warranty), but it was damn good. It had a good screen, a unique body, a great keyboard for the size, incredibly handy inductive charging, and powerful hardware (matching that of the iPhone at the time). But WebOS was asking way too much of it. It wasn't that the hardware was slow, it was the software being un-optimized (and frankly a little early for its time).
And that's why I keep drilling that home.
As for the rest (Win8, Office, etc.), yeah, I agree.