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ForumsDiscussion Forum → JJ Abrams will be the next person to rape your childhood.
JJ Abrams will be the next person to rape your childhood.
2013-01-24, 10:07 PM #1
http://collider.com/j-j-abrams-star-wars/

Fair enough. I don't think there's any way to impugn his geek street cred. The newest Star Trek was awesome, and so is Super 8. I'm ok with it.
>>untie shoes
2013-01-24, 10:13 PM #2
YES AND YES
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2013-01-25, 1:32 AM #3
is it still rape when the victim is shouting YES AND YES?


edit: voluntarily shouting, of course
You can't judge a book by it's file size
2013-01-25, 1:37 AM #4
Title sequence:

1) A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
2) Star Wars title card appears and moves back as usual... without any other sounds except for a trombone thrown off a cliff
3) No intro scroll, fade to black

EP7: "My shuttle crashed on this strange planet and an even stranger island and the Force is strong with it"
EP8: "Who are these mysterious people? Did any of the mysteries of the last movie get solved yet?"
EP9: "WE HAVE TO GO BACK"
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2013-01-25, 4:33 AM #5
I would only consider it a 'rape of my childhood' if Abrams reboots the original trilogy. Since that doesn't look like the plan, I believe this is good news.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2013-01-25, 4:47 AM #6
I just can't get excited about Star Wars anymore. Hopefully Abrams can do something with it that'll make me give a **** about it again.
? :)
2013-01-25, 10:07 AM #7
We're one step closer to a Star Wars vs Star Trek franchise. :P
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2013-01-25, 11:19 AM #8
I read an article on the guardian website before saying it's going to involve Luke starting a jedi academy. So I hope it's not a typical "an academy student turns bad" like in Jedi Outcast. That would suck balls. it would probably open with the camera panning down and luke quoting yoda as he teaches younglings. phh!

The Sith are dead. Who are the enemy?
Magrucko Daines and the Crypt of Crola (2007)
Magrucko Daines and the Dark Youth (2010)
Magrucko Daines and the Vertical City (2016)
2013-01-25, 11:53 AM #9
Hey I know, they should hire Jason Court!
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2013-01-25, 1:01 PM #10
Well, Goit, the original "Jedi Academy" stories were sorta about 'an academy student turns bad'. :/

I don't think that premise alone is enough to say if it would suck or not. There's a huge number of ways that could play out plot-wise and a huge number of treatments a screenwriter/director could give it.
2013-01-25, 2:38 PM #11
Originally posted by Gebohq:
We're one step closer to a Star Wars vs Star Trek franchise. :P


Hah, I was thinking the same craziness. Or just a crossover story. Maybe Abrams will find a subtle way to link the two universes without anyone at Disney figuring it out until its in the theaters.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2013-01-25, 2:48 PM #12
Originally posted by EAH_TRISCUIT:
Hah, I was thinking the same craziness. Or just a crossover story. Maybe Abrams will find a subtle way to link the two universes without anyone at Disney figuring it out until its in the theaters.


You mean like this?

2013-01-25, 3:20 PM #13
Originally posted by saberopus:
Well, Goit, the original "Jedi Academy" stories were sorta about 'an academy student turns bad'. :/

I don't think that premise alone is enough to say if it would suck or not. There's a huge number of ways that could play out plot-wise and a huge number of treatments a screenwriter/director could give it.


I remember when I was young reading them. There was one with Han and Leia's kids rebuilding a crashed tie fighter as the pilot lurked in the forest. Then Han can't catch it in his falcon. I've played X-Wing Alliance - just lower all your shields and put more power to the engines, idiot! :D
Magrucko Daines and the Crypt of Crola (2007)
Magrucko Daines and the Dark Youth (2010)
Magrucko Daines and the Vertical City (2016)
2013-01-25, 3:57 PM #14
Half of you saw me going mental on twitter last night.

I am ****ing EXCITED NOW!!!!
nope.
2013-01-25, 5:19 PM #15
Originally posted by Darth:
You mean like this?



Hah, forgot about that. Yes, like that.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2013-01-25, 6:05 PM #16
Originally posted by Antony:
http://collider.com/j-j-abrams-star-wars/

Fair enough. I don't think there's any way to impugn his geek street cred. The newest Star Trek was awesome, and so is Super 8. I'm ok with it.


I thought the new Star Trek movie was good at first too. It had enough nerdy little inside jokes and references to the other series that I was satisfied that it was still the Star Trek universe. But then I went back and re-watched the TOS movies and TNG episodes... and the more I thought about it, the more dissapointed I became with the new Star Trek movie.

The best Star Trek movies and episodes were always the ones that weren't just about armed conflict. The enterprises weren't warships, they were research vessels. Whenever conflict arose, they tried to find peaceful solutions first, before resorting to the use of deadly force. The TNG episode "Measure of a Man," for example, epitomizes everything Trek is supposed to be about- the moral dilemmas that come about as a result of scientific progress and culture clash. The new movie has none of that. It's a good science fiction movie, and it's fun to watch, but it's not a good Star Trek movie.

My girlfriend (who generally has little interest in nerdy things) has gotten into TNG, and she'll sit down and watch episodes with me every so often. It made me so proud when we saw a preview for the next Trek film in theaters, and the first thing she said was "That's not Star Trek. It's not what I think of when I think about Star Trek. It's all action and guns and fighting, that's not what makes Star Trek Star Trek." :)

I'm worried that Abrams will also "miss the point" when it comes to Star Wars. I don't even know what point there is to miss (it all seems pretty obvious to me), but I'm afraid he'll find a way.
2013-01-25, 6:06 PM #17
Originally posted by Goit:
I remember when I was young reading them. There was one with Han and Leia's kids rebuilding a crashed tie fighter as the pilot lurked in the forest. Then Han can't catch it in his falcon. I've played X-Wing Alliance - just lower all your shields and put more power to the engines, idiot! :D


You're thinking of the "Young Jedi Knights" book series, by Kevin J. Anderson. Saberopus is referring to the Jedi Academy Trilogy, also by Anderson, but a different book series. Kyp Durron in the student who turns to the Dark Side in the Jedi Academy Trilogy.
2013-01-25, 6:43 PM #18
Pretty sure the Enterprise was still an engineering ship forced into a fight it couldn't win.
>>untie shoes
2013-01-25, 7:22 PM #19
Originally posted by DSettahr:
The TNG episode "Measure of a Man," for example, epitomizes everything Trek is supposed to be about- the moral dilemmas that come about as a result of scientific progress and culture clash. The new movie has none of that. It's a good science fiction movie, and it's fun to watch, but it's not a good Star Trek movie.


I always had a hard time taking that stuff seriously. It always felt kind of cornball, just sort of applying the popular Hollywood morality of the day to futuristic scenarios. If see something like that, I want to it be like Dune or Foundation, where moral issues were approached from a truly foreign perspective. Now, to be fair, I haven't seen a significant amount of Star Trek, but what I have seen has always seemed too straightforward and contrived to support a fairly naive idealism. I'm happy with the action.
2013-01-25, 7:28 PM #20
Originally posted by DSettahr:
The best Star Trek movies and episodes were always the ones that weren't just about armed conflict. The enterprises weren't warships, they were research vessels. Whenever conflict arose, they tried to find peaceful solutions first, before resorting to the use of deadly force.


I think that generally the movies had more action than individual episodes, it sort of has to be that way since your trying to appeal to a wider audience. I agree with your point tho, many of the most memorable Star Trek episodes were based on difficult moral choices and strength of character.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2013-01-25, 7:43 PM #21
Originally posted by DSettahr:
I thought the new Star Trek movie was good at first too. It had enough nerdy little inside jokes and references to the other series that I was satisfied that it was still the Star Trek universe. But then I went back and re-watched the TOS movies and TNG episodes... and the more I thought about it, the more dissapointed I became with the new Star Trek movie.


The new Star Trek movie is fan service. That's why it's great, it's character development porn and space pew-pew.

List of Star Trek movies that weren't about fan service:

1.) Star Trek The Motion Picture
2.) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
3.) Star Trek IX: Insurrection
2013-01-25, 9:20 PM #22
Originally posted by Jon`C:
The new Star Trek movie is fan service. That's why it's great, it's character development porn and space pew-pew.

List of Star Trek movies that weren't about fan service:

1.) Star Trek The Motion Picture
2.) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
3.) Star Trek IX: Insurrection


Star Trek V: was about "William Shatner service." ;)
2013-01-25, 11:27 PM #23
Originally posted by DSettahr:
I thought the new Star Trek movie was good at first too. It had enough nerdy little inside jokes and references to the other series that I was satisfied that it was still the Star Trek universe. But then I went back and re-watched the TOS movies and TNG episodes... and the more I thought about it, the more dissapointed I became with the new Star Trek movie.

The best Star Trek movies and episodes were always the ones that weren't just about armed conflict. The enterprises weren't warships, they were research vessels. Whenever conflict arose, they tried to find peaceful solutions first, before resorting to the use of deadly force. The TNG episode "Measure of a Man," for example, epitomizes everything Trek is supposed to be about- the moral dilemmas that come about as a result of scientific progress and culture clash. The new movie has none of that. It's a good science fiction movie, and it's fun to watch, but it's not a good Star Trek movie.

My girlfriend (who generally has little interest in nerdy things) has gotten into TNG, and she'll sit down and watch episodes with me every so often. It made me so proud when we saw a preview for the next Trek film in theaters, and the first thing she said was "That's not Star Trek. It's not what I think of when I think about Star Trek. It's all action and guns and fighting, that's not what makes Star Trek Star Trek." :)

I'm worried that Abrams will also "miss the point" when it comes to Star Wars. I don't even know what point there is to miss (it all seems pretty obvious to me), but I'm afraid he'll find a way.

I agree, though I feel the 9-minute preview for the new one may suggest that there's at least a hint of not forgetting the point... I remain cautiously optimistic.

As for what was commented on later, part of Star Trek is in its cheese, and some episodes aren't as good as others in that aspect, though the ones that are done well are done REALLY well, and without doing what I dislike about so many other sci-fi series where everything has to be gritty and grim and "ethics don't really exist" and such in their style.
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
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2013-01-26, 12:20 AM #24
Hey Rocket Man, one more thing.
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2013-01-26, 7:14 AM #25
Originally posted by FastGamerr:
Hey Rocket Man, one more thing.

Yes?
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2013-01-26, 7:21 AM #26
I'd like to name the price for your big, sweet ass!

HA-HA-HA! HA-HA HA-HA HA!
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2013-01-26, 7:24 AM #27
And when the moment is right, I'm gonna fly a kite.
2013-01-26, 10:20 AM #28
Originally posted by DSettahr:
I thought the new Star Trek movie was good at first too. It had enough nerdy little inside jokes and references to the other series that I was satisfied that it was still the Star Trek universe. But then I went back and re-watched the TOS movies and TNG episodes... and the more I thought about it, the more dissapointed I became with the new Star Trek movie.

The best Star Trek movies and episodes were always the ones that weren't just about armed conflict. The enterprises weren't warships, they were research vessels. Whenever conflict arose, they tried to find peaceful solutions first, before resorting to the use of deadly force. The TNG episode "Measure of a Man," for example, epitomizes everything Trek is supposed to be about- the moral dilemmas that come about as a result of scientific progress and culture clash. The new movie has none of that. It's a good science fiction movie, and it's fun to watch, but it's not a good Star Trek movie.

My girlfriend (who generally has little interest in nerdy things) has gotten into TNG, and she'll sit down and watch episodes with me every so often. It made me so proud when we saw a preview for the next Trek film in theaters, and the first thing she said was "That's not Star Trek. It's not what I think of when I think about Star Trek. It's all action and guns and fighting, that's not what makes Star Trek Star Trek." :)

I'm worried that Abrams will also "miss the point" when it comes to Star Wars. I don't even know what point there is to miss (it all seems pretty obvious to me), but I'm afraid he'll find a way.


I wish that I could shake your hand, sir. I completely agree.
I like to put stupid stuff here that makes no sense.
2013-01-26, 11:04 AM #29
Originally posted by DSettahr:
Whenever conflict arose, they tried to find peaceful solutions first, before resorting to the use of deadly force.


let us look at this... first encounter with badguys, ship shows up, starts shooting at federation ship...

they sent the captain over to negotiate a peacful solution and all the bad guys wanted to do was ask about spock and kill the captain

second encounter... Vulcan sends a distress call and ships are mobilized to provide aid... the enterprise being a brand new ship takes a little longer to get going so they arrive last... the fleet sent to help has been destroyed by an obviously hostile target... once again the captain goes over to negotiate and is captured and tortured... it is revealed that our bad guy has been driven to madness by the destruction of his homeworld and death of his family... you can't negotiate with that... plus destroying an entire planet tends to make people be all "**** peaceful solutions"
eat right, exercise, die anyway
2013-01-26, 11:17 AM #30
Originally posted by DrkJedi82:
let us look at this... first encounter with badguys, ship shows up, starts shooting at federation ship...

they sent the captain over to negotiate a peacful solution and all the bad guys wanted to do was ask about spock and kill the captain

second encounter... Vulcan sends a distress call and ships are mobilized to provide aid... the enterprise being a brand new ship takes a little longer to get going so they arrive last... the fleet sent to help has been destroyed by an obviously hostile target... once again the captain goes over to negotiate and is captured and tortured... it is revealed that our bad guy has been driven to madness by the destruction of his homeworld and death of his family... you can't negotiate with that... plus destroying an entire planet tends to make people be all "**** peaceful solutions"

The movie went out of it's way to say "this is a bad guy and he's unforgivable so we can stop trying and just kill him" in the movie. The nail was at the end, when they spelled out that the bad guy would die if left to their own devices, Kirk suggests they might consider rescuing him, the bad guy spouts more "I'm a bad guy!" lines, and then they indulge their need of revenge and SHOOT HIM WHILE HE'S DYING. In any other story, I'd accept it, as it is sensible from most characters, and in Star Trek, they're supposed to be better than that, and if they're not, they make a point of it, like in First Contact or Undiscovered Country.
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2013-01-26, 11:36 AM #31
Originally posted by Gebohq:
then they indulge their need of revenge and SHOOT HIM WHILE HE'S DYING.
Because they probably wanted to make sure the ship would be destroyed instead of just time travelling like every other time a ship has flown through a red matter black hole.
2013-01-27, 3:35 AM #32
Originally posted by DSettahr:
You're thinking of the "Young Jedi Knights" book series, by Kevin J. Anderson. Saberopus is referring to the Jedi Academy Trilogy, also by Anderson, but a different book series. Kyp Durron in the student who turns to the Dark Side in the Jedi Academy Trilogy.


You're right. You were right. Tell your sister... you were *dies*
Magrucko Daines and the Crypt of Crola (2007)
Magrucko Daines and the Dark Youth (2010)
Magrucko Daines and the Vertical City (2016)
2013-01-28, 9:21 PM #33
The new Star Trek was new and therefore it was bad. Lets ignore the facts that half the movies and TOS episodes were boring pieces of crap.
"Guns don't kill people, I kill people."
2013-01-29, 2:09 PM #34
I don't really think that many of the films are boring. Just TMP, V and Nemesis.
nope.
2013-01-29, 5:27 PM #35
jj abrams could remake Trek IV scene for scene and it would be better than anything you plebians have ever witnessed.

double dumbass on you
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