Results 1 to 36 of 36

Thread: Was I Right to be Upset? (Or: How I Ruined Pure Romance Parties for My Wife)

  1. #1
    Not Suitable for Motor Vehicles
    Posts
    4,265

    Was I Right to be Upset? (Or: How I Ruined Pure Romance Parties for My Wife)

    Warning: This post is really long and probably overly detailed. But I believe that context is important. For those who don’t know, Pure Romance is a company that sells sex toys in a format similar to a Tupperware Party. There is no discussion of sex toys in this story. Mods if you still feel this is an inappropriate topic feel free to delete it.

    I’m going to preface this with a few statements:


    Firstly, I know I acted like an *******, over reacted to the situation and everyone involved is perfectly justified in being upset with me. I’m not denying any of that. I acted childish and selfish. I just want to know if my feelings about the situation are justified. Not the degree to which I expressed them, but the feelings at all.

    Second, I have no problem with Pure Romance. I think its goal of educating women about their bodies and sexuality is laudable. Pairing this education with a sales pitch seems a bit sleazy, but then again how many ladies are there who would take a class that teaches what Pure Romance does? Of those willing, how many would be comfortable talking about the subject?


    This brings me to my last preface statement. Pure Romance has a strict “No Men” policy during one of their demonstrations. I fully understand and accept this policy. Creating a safe and comfortable environment is crucial to discussing a topic as personal and sensitive as sex. Especially in a society that hasn’t quite gotten over its puritanical hang ups. Considering that many people have difficulty openly discussing sex with their partners, let alone a complete stranger, for those who are willing they must feel like they’re in a safe place to do so. There are parts of this policy I have issues with, but we’ll get into that later.


    And now the story:


    My wife and her best friend decided to host a Pure Romance party. Originally, the party was supposed to take place at the friend’s house(we’ll call her A), but due to logistics involving A’s children and more people RSVP’ing than anticipated, the party was moved to my house.


    I am not one who enjoys parties, even of the regular sort. I was excited to sit this one out. All my other friends had plans already, so I just looked forward to some me time on my computer on the second floor while the girls had their fun downstairs. That is until the night before the party when I was informed that I wasn’t allowed to be in the house at all, and preferably off the property altogether.


    Naturally, I was a little disappointed, but I took it in stride because some things had come up that day that I could take care of while the party was happening.

    The party was scheduled to start at 7:30pm with the demonstrations beginning at 8, and was supposed to last around 2 hours. This was a Friday night and I work Saturday mornings at 9AM. I expected to be able to come home around 10-10:30ish so that I could get ready for bed at a reasonable hour.

    So after work that day, I came home and gathered some things I would need on my errands. Then I did some last minute cleaning and made guacamole for the party while waiting for my wife to get home. After she did I helped put out some other hors d’oeuvres, put some recycling in my car and went off to leave the girls to have their fun.


    I had my first irritation with this whole situation when I had to stop back home to drop off beer for a party attendee and pick up something which I hadn’t realized I needed before leaving. I had my wife put it on the front porch for me so I wouldn’t have to enter the house. I was then instructed to walk around the back of the house to grab it, and then walk back around the back of the house so that I wouldn’t pass by the window of the room the demonstration was happening in.


    When I finished with my errands it was only about 9:30 so I headed to A’s house around the corner from mine to hang out with A’s husband until the end of the party. Around this time I started to get a migraine. I get these more infrequently than when I was younger, but when I do they tend to be pretty intense.


    While I was there I drank my first (and last >.<) 4loko. Because of the migraine (and the taste) I was only able to drink about a third of the can. 10:00 rolled around and no phone call. I figured that it had run a little over time. Finally around 10:45 I really just wanted to go home and go to bed, and I was really annoyed that I hadn’t been called to let me know I could come home yet. I started texting people at the party asking if I could come home. I don’t remember if I had told anyone that I had a headache at that point. After about ten minutes I got texts from three different people saying that yes, I was allowed back into my home. I bid my fellow male farewell and left for home, a 58 second drive.


    I get home and the party is still going strong. There’s perhaps 7 cars in the drive that done belong to people who live there. I walk in the door and I’m greeted by cries of “Robbie!” and “OOooh, you look so tired!” I probably responded with some sort of grunt. At that point I didn’t feel capable of human speech. I went to the microwave to heat up some food, which sometimes (but not always) helps my migraines. I was told there was pizza and hummus and pita.



    When I was done putting food in the microwave, I headed for the stairs with my laptop bag.

    At this point I should mention that at the time we were having our kitchen floor redone and it was only about 75% complete. Because of this our refrigerator and kitchen table were both in the front hallway of the house creating a very narrow pathway to the stairs leading to the second floor.


    I turn the corner into this hallway and I was greeted with no fewer than 4 women staring back at me with a look of fear/anger/disgust as if they were saying “what the hell is *HE* doing here?” Without saying a word I turned around dropped my bag and left. Just got in my car and drove away.


    I was PISSED. More upset than I should have been, but emotions, at least mine, are amplified by pain and alcohol. 5 minutes later I got a text from A. The exchange went something like this.


    A: Where did you go?


    Me: I left.


    Me: The front hallway is not an appropriate place to do business.


    A: You can come back. 


    As I drove I kept getting angrier. How DARE they keep me out of my own home? How DARE they keep me from going to bed? I obviously wasn’t using my best judgment. I.E. – texting while driving after having consumed alcohol. I wasn’t drunk, definitely not over the limit, but the intoxicant’s effects were noticeable.


    I responded to A.


    Me: If I came back now I would probably tell everyone to get the **** out of my house.


    A: Oh dear.


    I kept driving. I kept getting angrier. At that point you could call it a rage. It’s not really that easy to get me so upset. I do have a short fuse, but that sucker is hard to light if you know what I mean. But when I blow, I BLOW. A minute later I turned toward home and sent this message to A: “In fact, I think I will do that.” I received no more messages.


    Arriving at home I stormed into the house announcing, “Alright! Party’s over! Go home! Get the **** out of my house!” I grabbed my bag and headed upstairs to take some AdvilPM and set up my laptop. There are different women sitting at the table in the front hall.


    I came back downstairs a few minutes later and no one had moved from where they were. I screamed at them, “I wasn’t kidding! Get out of my house! This **** is over! We live in the 21st century. Finish your business by phone or email. I want you out of my ****ing house!”


    At this point I’m dragged outside by my wife. (Note: this happened in August) She said a bunch of things I don’t remember mostly to the effect of calm down, you can’t tell people to leave etc. etc. I just went on about how I didn’t care, I wanted everyone to leave. And for the love of god, the front hall is NOT an appropriate place to conduct business.


    Me: Whats wrong with the family room.


    Wife: It’s a privacy thing. People are ordering products and they don’t necessarily want others to know what they’re getting. We were going to have it upstairs in the guest bedroom, but there was too much cleaning that had to be done.


    (I will point out here that the cleaning that needed to be done consisted of CLOSING ALL THE DOORS BUT THE ONE TO THE SPARE BEDROOM. Seriously, the only things in that room were a bed, a dresser, a mirror, a chair, a rug, and a television.)


    Me: then whats wrong with the Garage?


    Wife: Smokers.


    Me: Front porch? Theres a table there! If you’re worried about lighting, how about the patio where theres a table chairs AND floodlights! There is NO reason they should be in the ****ING HALLWAY!


    Wife: …..


    At this point my wife is crying. A came over trying to calm me down as well. That didn’t work out well because she decided to point out that it’s “not your ****ing house, it belongs to your father-in-law. You just live here.” More fuel on the fire.


    Me: You couldn’t have TOLD me there were people in the front hall? Or stop me from doing so?


    Everyone involved at this point: There wasn’t time! You just came in and went that way!


    Me: What about the WHOLE TIME I WAS STANDING AT THE ****ING MICROWAVE!?


    Later I start ranting about gender discrimination or some other bull**** like that and my sister(B) points out that its actually illegal for me to be in the house during one of these parties because its considered solicitation for a woman to present a sexual object to a man or something like that. I immediately call bull****. If that were the case I wouldn’t be able to go to a (non-sleazy truck stop) adult store and make a purchase. Every single one I’ve ever been in was staffed by women.


    This just gets me even angrier. On top of everything else, this company has LIED to its customers about legal matters just to set their mind at ease. If what the lady told them was true, I wasn’t able to find anything in the Ohio Revised Code that applies to the situation. I later found out there are other companies who host co-ed parties of a similar nature, so I still call bull**** on that.


    My wife put her hands on my shoulders. I pushed them away, which caused B to stick her finger in my face (Which our whole family has been telling her since she was 3 years old NOT TO DO, because its irritating) and scream “DON’T YOU ****ING TOUCH HER! YOU KNOW IF YOU LAY A HAND ON HERE MOM WILL DISOWN YOU!” I look at her like she’s crazy grab her wrist to get her finger out of my face and let go.


    Around this time I realize I’m acting like a total *******. I try to calm down. Avoid talking. Chain smoke. Eventually get to the point where I feel like I can go inside and just go to bed. I don’t get to sleep until almost 3 in the morning still with a migraine.


    That’s really all the relevant points to my story. I just want to know if any of my anger, ANY of it is justified. The whole time I felt like everyone was trying to say I had no reason to be upset at all, let alone be as upset as I was.


    This whole thing came up again because two days ago my wife mentioned that she was going to a PR party today, and that i ruined them for her because she cant enjoy them as much because of this thing that happened 6 months ago.

    TLR


    I get banned from my house; get pissed about that, then act like an *******.

    Should I have been pissed?

    My girlfriend paid a lot of money for that tv; I want to watch ALL OF IT. - JM

  2. #2
    Likes Kittens. Eats Fluffies
    Posts
    11,607
    o_______________________O

  3. #3
    That sucks, and I can sort of sympathize, but to be honest, you probably should've clarified when exactly is this party supposed to end, and if it was indeed 10:30 like you've expected, then yeah, totally justified. But even if not, everybody should've just left after you told them to get out of your house. Anyway sounds pretty bad in general, can't even imagine having to deal with all this **** with a migraine.

  4. #4
    No Longer Homeless!
    Fancy Pants

    Posts
    9,833
    You should have a Pure Bromance party.

  5. #5
    Was there also some guy there demonstrating fellatio with a carrot because I think I saw this in Old School? The whole thing sounds incredibly stupid which was escalated by your reaction. You should have just said "F U" and gone upstairs to your room. Now I think I'll go watch Old School again. You're my boy Blue!

  6. #6
    COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY

  7. #7
    I have a friend that consults for a company that does allow co-ed parties, so you are correct about their understanding of the law to be flawed.

    You're not at fault for being upset, but you could have handled it better. At the same time, guests in your home should be respectful of the fact that you work in the morning.

    *****es be crazy.
    TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE

  8. #8
    Human Computer
    Posts
    2,825
    It sounds to me that you have anger issues & that you overreacted, though it doesn't appear that you beat anyone. However, I do think that you should be irritated with your wife for hosting such a cheese-fest (seriously, the entire concept is really embarrassing & cheesy--I can hardly believe that in 2013 there are still enough uptight people to have to do these things in secret).
    ? :)

  9. #9

    NIKVMVS-REX-TODOA

    Posts
    16,364
    After about ten minutes I got texts from three different people saying that yes, I was allowed back into my home


    You did nothing wrong.


    . V .

  10. #10
    Not sure you did anything wrong, but if you allow your house to be overrun by a crowd of women then you have to expect massive drama and a migraine.

    She might divorce your ass, but I think you should find a way to crash this upcoming PR party.

  11. #11
    to wound the autumnal city.
    Posts
    5,309
    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Spruce View Post
    You're not at fault for being upset, but you could have handled it better. At the same time, guests in your home should be respectful of the fact that you work in the morning.
    This. It was pretty clearly communicated to you that you were allowed back in the house, so you were in the right to return home when you did, and to be upset when you discovered that your return had not also been clearly communicated to all of the members of the party. But you definitely over reacted when things escalated after you did return home.

  12. #12
    Child's Play CharityGoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy
    Posts
    17,363
    1. I think part of the stringent requirements are justified, in that it gives women a safe space to discuss the kinds of topics they're talking about. They also probably have moan-offs, and that can get loud.
    2. I also think that some people can take the idea of a safe space and make it a hostile space, which is directly opposite of the intentions. If there's more anxiety someplace that's supposed to be safe by fear of someone encroaching that safety, and it becomes about exclusivity, it's no longer about safety. It seems to me some of those women, the ones who eyed you, were pretending the grounds for a safe space were grounds to take someone else's house over for a party.
    3. It's a goddamned sales meeting, get your products sold and get out of my house.

    While I might have attempted to be more sensitive towards the reason they felt so entitled to your house, I certainly would have made it clear that they were given the privileged to use your home, where you sleep and **** and shower, for their sales meeting. I certainly wouldn't have put up with the sister and wife making me feel bad for being pissed off, and I think it would've escalated me as much as it did you. That said, I'm not sure if our reaction would've been measured, even if relatively justified. Every incidence of making awful arguments against you wanting to come home and go to sleep was way over the line, if we're counting offenses.

    Edit: Also, while it's not an excuse at all, you should probably take responsibility for drinking a 4loco before attempting to make arguments about getting to bed for the next day of work.
    Last edited by JediKirby; 02-10-2013 at 03:56 PM.
    ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
    ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

  13. #13
    Not the senator.r
    Posts
    7,191
    Quote Originally Posted by Mentat View Post
    It sounds to me that you have anger issues & that you overreacted, though it doesn't appear that you beat anyone. However, I do think that you should be irritated with your wife for hosting such a cheese-fest (seriously, the entire concept is really embarrassing & cheesy--I can hardly believe that in 2013 there are still enough uptight people to have to do these things in secret).
    I hate it when people respond to anger like this. It's so frowned upon in our society these days to ever express any emotion but absolute and utter joy and kindness, that people hold all their frustration in. When it inevitably comes out, which happens to EVERYONE, people freak out and ostracize that person with the label 'anger issues' and all that does is make the original offender more angry, to be honest.

    I've had my fair share of scenarios where I would get treated poorly consistently and do nothing about it until one day where everything went wrong and I just absolutely blew up, and then when people would say 'WHOA BRO ANGER ISSUES YOU NEED HELP' I would feel so much worse.

    IMO, Ford was absolutely right in his anger and I know exactly how it feels to have alcohol fuel your anger. The thing people need to understand about things like that is, when you drink, you never start drinking thinking "boy oh boy I am gonna get so pissed off!", you're thinking "this is gonna make me feel so much better". Generally, drama doesn't start happening until alcohol has already been consumed, so can you really blame the alcohol? No, Ford drank with his buddy at another house before he was even mad. He got mad when he was told he could go home and then found out that he actually couldn't be at his home, and on top of that, was being judged for being there.

    Ford:
    DO NOT WANT.

  14. #14
    I think you were justified. Sure, you may have overreacted a bit, but it's hard not to when you have a migraine and have to deal with a bunch of annoying *****es. You were accommodating to them, catered to them, and all you got was *****ed at. You didn't hit anyone, intentionally raid the party, or anything. You are owed some apologies, in my opinion. The only apology you owe is one for flying a bit off the handle.

    YOU ruined the experience for HER? Alright.
    I can't wait for the day schools get the money they need, and the military has to hold bake sales to afford bombs.

  15. #15
    sounds like a bunch of drama
    Peace is a lie
    There is only passion
    Through passion I gain strength
    Through strength I gain power
    Through power I gain victory
    Through victory my chains are broken
    The Force shall set me free

  16. #16
    (Still) On 13 week vacation
    LAWL

    Posts
    10,289
    You should have walked back in and started masturbating furiously.

    This follows an old adage of mine: When in doubt, masturbate furiously.
    >>untie shoes

  17. #17
    Snake in the Brass
    Posts
    2,842
    Quote Originally Posted by Antony View Post
    You should have walked back in and started masturbating furiously.

    This follows an old adage of mine: When in doubt, masturbate furiously.
    Or when not in doubt, or any other general timeframe?
    "Guns don't kill people, I kill people."

  18. #18
    (Still) On 13 week vacation
    LAWL

    Posts
    10,289
    Really, yes. I have another saying: Win if you can, lose if you must, but always masturbate furiously.
    >>untie shoes

  19. #19
    You reacted with a lot of hostility, but given how you felt and how you were treated it is quite understandable.
    I think if you're going to have a 'no men' rule (which is very understandable) you should do your best to work with any males that would like to live in their own house. In this case it means sticking to the timeframe.
    The mighty Hindsight man would use his powers to suggest they should have rented a hotel room or found a way to keep you locked out of whatever room they were doing this in. But Hindsight man is a know-it-all douchebag anyway.

    Reading your story I was quite annoyed on your behalf. I know that there's many sides to every story, but I think if a someone wants to go to bed in the house they lives in at a time pre-discussed, let that poor ******* get their rest.
    You can't judge a book by it's file size

  20. #20
    Human Computer
    Posts
    2,825
    Quote Originally Posted by Zell View Post
    ...
    I would just like to point out that his description of the events reeks of resentment (e.g. his heightened sensitivity towards trivialities) & passive-aggressive behavior (he bottled up his irritation with said issues until the combination with physical pain was too great) & even he openly admitted that he was an "ass" & had overreacted (in other words, he's feeling a bit guilty). I would also like to point out that the very act of posting about the incident on an internet forum is revealing in itself. However, I'm not even qualified enough to be considered an armchair expert (though I have been subjected to anger "therapy" in the past) & am merely offering a critique based upon familiar &/or personal anecdotes. Honestly, reading Ford's tale of woe was very Jerry Springer-esque & there was plenty of blame to go around.
    Last edited by Mentat; 02-11-2013 at 04:11 AM.
    ? :)

  21. #21
    i wouldve been pissed, but then again...i wouldnt allow such bull**** in my house.
    Peace is a lie
    There is only passion
    Through passion I gain strength
    Through strength I gain power
    Through power I gain victory
    Through victory my chains are broken
    The Force shall set me free

  22. #22

    NIKVMVS-REX-TODOA

    Posts
    16,364
    Quote Originally Posted by Antony View Post
    Really, yes. I have another saying: Win if you can, lose if you must, but always masturbate furiously.
    Once my rowboat gets there, I'll show you what masturbating furiously is like.

    JUST YOU WAIT.


    . V .

  23. #23
    About to lose his freedom
    Posts
    3,772
    I can certainly understand being frustrated... but, that is about it. From the side of Pure Romance and whoever the rep was, yes this is a business meeting. However from the view of probably every other woman there (probably your wife included) this is a damn party, usually with booze and the whole nine yards. A party at which sex toys are purchased. Now, I know you said there was at least a reasonable expectation of them being finished around 10:30, but if it is REALLY that big of a deal if it runs late and you have to go into work for one day being a little more sleepy you probably should have had a serious talk with your wife before hand.
    I have never suffered from migraines so i cant even pretend to know what that is like, but i am sure it just compounds any frustrating situation. Honestly it sounds like a moderately inconvenient and sort of annoying situation that went to s**t for several different reasons.

    My advice, take it or leave it. Life is too short to get bent about one incident that can be chalked up to mis-communication. Suck it up and apologize to your wife (even though you honestly probably do deserve an apology as well.) and in the future either set out some solid ground rules for stuff like this or just veto it altogether.
    Welcome to the douchebag club. We'd give you some cookies, but some douche ate all of them. -Rob

  24. #24
    You didn't do a thing wrong, I'd have been just as pissed.

  25. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by The_Lost_One View Post
    i wouldve been pissed, but then again...i wouldnt allow such bull**** in my house.
    no ****ing kidding
    "it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009

  26. #26
    Boneless Chicken Wings
    Posts
    3,322
    fkn dongmongers needa leave my house

    While I was there I drank my first (and last >.<) 4loko.
    haw
    error; function{getsig} returns 'null'

  27. #27
    And take your wife to the damn sex store and pick out a few things for the two of ya!

  28. #28
    " I turn the corner into this hallway and I was greeted with no fewer than 4 women staring back at me with a look of fear/anger/disgust as if they were saying “what the hell is *HE* doing here?”

    Why the **** did you leave? It's your house, you should have told those ***** to get the **** off your property. What where you thinking?
    "Nulla tenaci invia est via"

  29. #29
    You can't judge a book by it's file size

  30. #30
    Not my fault posts that are 2 weeks old are like 5 threads down from the top
    "Nulla tenaci invia est via"

  31. #31
    Yeah it wasn't even that much of a necropost, I just love that video >_>

    WISE FWOM YOUR GWAVE!!
    You can't judge a book by it's file size

  32. #32
    if anything he should have been invited to join in on the party
    Peace is a lie
    There is only passion
    Through passion I gain strength
    Through strength I gain power
    Through power I gain victory
    Through victory my chains are broken
    The Force shall set me free

  33. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by zanardi View Post
    Not my fault posts that are 2 weeks old are like 5 threads down from the top
    Well we could keep randomly bumping this thread up like once a month and keep Ford in a constant state of rage. Between our reminders and his wife's, I give his marriage six more months.

  34. #34
    Quote Originally Posted by Deadman View Post
    Yeah it wasn't even that much of a necropost, I just love that video >_>

    WISE FWOM YOUR GWAVE!!
    Classic game. That video actually brought back a lot of memories haha
    "Nulla tenaci invia est via"

  35. #35
    Since everyone else already said anything I could think to say, I'll just say this:

    Ford, don't make me drive to Ohio and give you a real reason to be upset! (the real reason, of course, is making you write for NeS again)
    Featured ISB thread: The Never-ending Story Thread^2

  36. #36
    @OP: I think you seriously overreacted.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •