God damn it, what is wrong with this ****ing company

this looks super kewl, can't wait to hop in for some great 4 player co op action with my frands~

can't wait to score some serious goals in Metroid Prime Federation Force 3v3 Sci Fi Sports Battles in Blast Ball, too!

The main reason Metroid used to be popular was its bleak Alien-inspired aesthetic. Nintendo has been trying to shed that aesthetic since 2002 or so, mostly because it's wildly unpopular in Japan for whatever reason, and make the series more generic, anime, and light and airy french aesthete. Except Japanese consumers still don't care, probably because neo-Metroid is insipid even by anime standards, and western consumers have violently rejected it. So I'm not sure what going Full Chibi is supposed to accomplish other than punishing western gamers for liking products that Japanese people don't.

Can you imagine a game like this called Gears of War? Like, how desperate would you need to be to move copies of a multiplayer squad shooter?

So I'm sure it's going to be a perfectly serviceable game, and I'm sure that in terms of what matters for a game it doesn't deserve nearly as much hate as it's getting, but branding it Metroid has to be one of the saddest, most cynical, and most misguided things I think Nintendo has ever done.

Nintendo seem to be banking on that amiibo stuff heavily, which eerily reminds me of the e-Reader s*** (anyone remember that thing?) They aren't toys and more like some new terrible evolution of DLC, with none of the convenience of DLC but all of the evil of it (like locked on-disk content). Now Nintendo is talking about a possible new console (?) since the WiiU looks like it is going to crap the bed soon.

It's going to be a serviceable game because the people behind it made Luigi's Mansion for the 3DS iirc, and that was done well. I want to imagine this was a sudden, late change for the style in the game's development, but I doubt such things happen like that.

I'll always have a soft spot for Metroid Prime and most of its two sequels. There was a care for genuine world building that I don't see often these days (except maybe titles like Dishonored). Last I checked, a lot of people behind MP left Retro Studios. Who can blame them? Working for Nintendo with as an American studio situated in Texas must have caused rifts here and there.

Things like rain drops on the visor and seeing Samus' face in briefly in explosions, man...

This is the new amazing Metroid game? No wonder people are so pissed off about it.

It was probably intended to be an original property, then some veep said "we should sell it as metroid" and welp

The rumored new amazing Metroid game is the "non-DKC" game Retro is working on. Nothing official has been announced. And it doesn't matter because if something official is announced because:

1.) the kawaii metroid-chan bull**** that's torpedoed the series comes from high above. seriously, how in the everlasting hell does yoshio sakamoto still have a job?

2.) everybody who made Prime 1 great has either left Retro or has since died of pancreatic cancer.

3.) for nintendo especially, but any american engineering firm acquired by or managed by a japanese company is walking dead. I mean like sucking down a bunch of beta radiation and then your fingernails fall out and you barf up your stomach and if you weren't blind you get to watch yourself starve to death, that kind of walking dead. because japan as a business culture, more than as a country, views software engineering as a mcjob and software quality and testing as an afterthought at best which is SUPER RAD if you're in the business of selling easy button software proof-readers but probably not all that great if you live within walking distance of a road and do not want to die in a horrible fireball. having a company culture that regards your most expensive employees as subhuman scum isn't a great recipe for employee retention in tyool Neo-TechBubble EX3 so pretty much at this point it's Retro in name only and probably one of the most abusive studios out there.

All they had to do was re-make super metroid with a different layout, some different powerups, maybe modernize it a little bit (if they're capable of doing that without ruining it) and I'd be all over that ****.

Instead we get this ****ty animal crossing/fps hybrid using the worst possible franchise. And that might be the ugliest HUD I've ever seen.

Nintendo: because it's still 1998.

Supposedly the next Metroid is going to be on the Nintendo NX, whatever that is.

A good number of the Prime people went off to make Armature Studio, which is also in Texas. This was after Prime 3, and they are making a new IP now (working along with the guy who made Mega Man, for some reason). 2008 saw the most departures and was even mentioned in this awkward Nintendo interview (the two senior designers featured there left soon after, ouch).

Yoshio Sakamoto viewed Samus as his daughter and didn't like the Prime guys meddling with the franchise she is in (i.e. improving it as a respectable series). Supposedly, in Other M, Sakamoto made Adam after himself, who in the game acted as this weird father figure/love interest hybrid for Samus. So Other M is not only a bad game but one with uncomfortable undertones. Good for the series. I assume he still has a job because he's been elevated as an auteur of video games (bless the Japanese).

I remember when saying "Samus is a man!" on the WWW would rile people up.

The fact that they're even talking hardware is scary because it means they don't understand. Nintendo's problem isn't hardware, it's that their games don't stand on their own anymore. Brawl, Skyward Sword, and Other M weren't just bad Nintendo games, they were bad games. And while their (scant) more recent stuff isn't quite as bad, it's not nearly good enough that it would sell outside of a franchise.

Other M has uncomfortable undertones a long time before Adam is even introduced. Also, the fact that Sakamoto insisted upon handling all of the English localization and voice direction, despite not being a native speaker or even really fluent, is uncomfortably Koobian.

Don't people have to respect your work to be considered an auteur? I just assumed he has proof that Nintendo had Gunpei Yokoi assassinated.

"Other M" being a not-so-subtle anagram of Mother, the Bottle Ship having a "baby's cry," and Sakamoto's statements on womanhood throughout. Are you not satisfied with this quality writing?

I'm not sure, Echoman. Can someone please take 5 valium and then repeat what he just said?

I know in a lot of large Japanese (and Korean) companies, when you work for them, you work for life. And leaving a company can mean an employment death sentence, so workers suck up a lot of ****. I assume software engineering is the same way there? Anyhow, Nintendo surprised that their bought American company having workers getting up and leaving? They couldn't be.

Dunno. All I do know is:

San Jose, CA: $111,885
Tokyo, JP: $44,748

average base comp for similar COLs

LOL

Question from someone that hasn't ever owned a nintendo console; I realise at this point that they basically just operate on nostalgia, but when was the last time they released a first party title that actually brought something new and wasn't just a rehash of something they'd already made, with an added gimmick?

The original Smash Bros?

Metroid Prime?

Pefect Dark, maybe?

AFAIK, that was Rareware, not Nintendo.

It depends a lot on what you consider a first-party game and what you consider to be a re-hash. A lot of Nintendo's franchise titles over the past two decades have been made by different companies, and arguably even Retro Studios isn't really "Nintendo" because for the most part they've been kept at arms length.

Looking solely at Nintendo's Japanese EADs, it would probably be Super Mario Galaxy (2007), but really that game was almost identical to Super Mario 64 but for the addition of a physics gimmick. The last, best new concept was probably Pikmin (2001) or Luigi's Mansion (2001).

It's not even just nostalgia anymore, it's like a new genre in itself. Like "relive the past but now! The future is old!"

Well the most exciting thing from them over the past year is official Super Mario World romhacking so yeah basically that ^

Splatoon is their newest IP. While the core gameplay mechanic is fun, everything else about it is terrible.

As for the new Metroid game, I was never much into the series, so I can only sympathize with Metroid fans with this bad new game.

Personally, I'm looking forward to Super Mario Maker from Nintendo.

it looks like something out of early 90s Nickelodeon. I mean, it could be a good game, but at this point they are very transparently looking for anything and everything 1990s they can sell.

console only Lunar Magic that's riddled with Mario Paint Easter eggs and shipping about 6 years too late.

Don't get me wrong, I think Super Mario Maker is a product that Nintendo absolutely should make. I just think their market window was around 2008 when playing SMW romhacks on youtube was for whatever dumb reason an actual big thing. They've left an awful lot of money on the table over this.

By now most of the trendsetters have already realized two things: one, that nobody is going to play your romhack, and two, that nobody wants to watch another SMW romhack LP. so a lot of the stuff that would at least give this a year or two years of longevity just won't be there.

Splatoon reminds me of World of Padman.

I wonder how TODOA would have turned out if it had stayed all Metroid-like and stuff.

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We'd probably have a TODOA 6: KAWAII CHICKS already.

Technically the Wii Sports and Fit were new IPs, but they're dancing around the distinction of "casual" and/or "games".

And yes, Perfect Dark was Rareware. Hell, there were MP levels that were almost direct copy/paste from Goldeneye.

To be fair, Perfect Dark was just Goldeneye with a Bondectomy anyway.

To be fair, Perfect Dark didn't just have a Bondectomy, it also had a radical SciFi infusion.

Perfect Dark was... shockingly badly written

more like Perfect Dork

Isn't that what your mother calls you?

I could really go off on you, gbk.

I wish I could juice you sometime, you know? Put your hand in the machine and **AaYAaRAaYAaRaAYAa!**

Don't talk to me like that. I'm a Nassaw scientist!

Even Nintendo can't produce a worth-a-damn piece of art. Actually, Japan is basically the icon of the suppression of art. It's almost artistic how bad Japanese programmed art is.

The funny thing is Yoshio Sakamoto never had to experience how stupid his conception of woman is. Even two seconds of genuine emotional expression is worth two years of force

typicalreidpost++;

Yeah even I don't like it. I earnestly wish I could reply to a thread complaining about Metroid as part of the comedy, but instead I just make my own comedy because I'm incapable of being genuinely false.