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Thread: Kids are terrible

  1. #1
    No Longer Homeless!
    Fancy Pants

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    9,833

    Kids are terrible

    Four screaming demons
    Jumping on an air mattress
    Watch Finding Nemo

    This is a little haiku I wrote about kids. I don't have any kids but my roommate and lifelong best friend has a couple, and we're babysitting for her friend's kids. They're all cool, but at the same time, they're terribly demanding of my time, effort, and attention. But it's cool, because we told scary stories, and (honestly) the 5-year-old girls told some ****ty stories, but mine scared them til they screamed.

    I dunno, kind of random.

    So, post your kids.

    [AKA, do NOT post your kids. Just tell us why your anonymous children are cool and why you enjoy having or influencing spawn.]

  2. #2
    (Still) On 13 week vacation
    LAWL

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    10,289
    My girlfriend has an 11 year old. I have been encouraging him to pursue his piano playing and helping him expand his vocabulary.

    He's pretty cool. Smart kid, too.

  3. #3
    my sister's kids are undisciplined little ****s...
    eat right, exercise, die anyway

  4. #4
    I had been thinking about starting a thread like this for some time now. We have two kids but they're separated by about 18 years. Our daughter was a really great kid growing up. It wasn't until her teenage years that she kind of went through a phase where she lost her **** but I guess that's pretty normal. She's married now, has a masters degree, a child of her own, and is well employed. Our son's 11 now and drives me crazy most of the time. He is a really sweet kid, though. I think he's a bit immature for his age and we kind of struggle a bit with electronics. There are plenty of things I could do better but he really is a full time job. Wouldn't trade him for the world, though.
    "I would rather claim to be an uneducated man than be mal-educated and claim to be otherwise." - Wookie 03:16


  5. #5

    NIKVMVS-REX-TODOA

    Posts
    16,998
    My left hand and I have disposed of many children in the past 14 years and 2+ months.

    Anyhow, even though technically I've been a grand-uncle for several years now, I've actually never ever met the kids. Or my nephews. Or any relatives (aside from my core family left hand), really. I think I'll keep things that way.
    Last edited by Nikumubeki; 01-15-2017 at 02:29 PM.

  6. #6
    Two kids here. My four year old is starting to get into video games more. Now he finally can actually finish a race in Mario Kart.
    Sorry for the lousy German

  7. #7
    Human Computer
    Posts
    2,825
    I have one female human child.
    ? :)

  8. #8
    Zulenglashernbracker
    Posts
    5,883
    I am a kid
    I had a blog. It sucked.

  9. #9
    Child's Play CharityGoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy
    Posts
    17,363
    The woman I fancy has a kid that looks like Matilda, loves animals, is decidedly a vegan (her mom isn't), is really smart but also empathetic and soft spoken, and she's only 9. She also LOVES Star Wars (mostly the NT, but she's really enjoying the sequels now, too.) and we are pretty much best buddies. When her mom brings her along for visits to our hometown (they live a few hours away), me and mom barely talk because the kid and I are having fun.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zloc_Vergo View Post
    I am a kid
    What are you, 13 now?
    Last edited by JediKirby; 01-19-2017 at 01:52 PM.
    ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
    ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

  10. #10
    Zulenglashernbracker
    Posts
    5,883
    24 tyvm
    I had a blog. It sucked.

  11. #11
    Always uncomfortable when kids get old enough to start asking awkward questions. My boy just asked me how is it that Imperial armor can't withstand shots. I said they must be powerful blasters. He said, sarcastically, "yeah, they're ALL powerful blasters."
    "I would rather claim to be an uneducated man than be mal-educated and claim to be otherwise." - Wookie 03:16


  12. #12
    And neither can it withstand Ewok.

  13. #13
    Child's Play CharityGoY's Pessimistic Soy Boy Toy
    Posts
    17,363
    The canon reasoning is that stormtrooper armor absorbs shots from a blaster that would otherwise be fatal and dissipates the energy, which somehow leaves the wearer knocked out but otherwise uninjured.

    I hate that I know this. My dad and I were discussing Star Wars stuff around TFA and he kept asking me random questions about the original trilogy. I'd tell him what I know then look up on wookiepedia whether that had been made into legend, and over half of what I knew had been. We concluded that, if I knew as much about human history as I do about the Star Wars universe I'd be an anthropologist.
    ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
    ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by JediKirby View Post
    We concluded that, if I knew as much about human history as I do about the Star Wars universe I'd be an anthropologist.
    SW ain't real??

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