It's specifically the kind of attention I had been getting from time to time that was bothering me. I wanted to move away from JK as time went on and people did not respond so well to that, insisting that I go back to the old format of playing through levels. That easily killed a lot of the enjoyment in creating for YouTube.
Sorry if this disappoints you, but that is not my problem. I had to learn the program myself so anybody else should be able to do the same. It has built-in documentation and is pretty easy to understand. Besides which, there are other people who can help out that I've regularly referred others to. Honestly though, if the fate of a modding community, let alone a level editor depends on me making my dopey videos, then is it really worth saving? I have a hard time believing that it's that simple. I joined pretty late into the game so much of of the community's resources had already been contributed.
You did say you thought I was lying about having the videos, I'm just trying to tell you that I'm not. I don't expect you to understand this, since I don't know what kind of creative endeavors you indulge in, but as a creator and artist I am extremely critical of my work. As I improve, I hate showcasing older work that contrasts this. It has nothing to do with ego, I'm just a perfectionist and I can't really help that. Besides, if it was about ego, then deleting the channel would make no sense since I've essentially cut myself off from my audience completely.
And either way, yes it is about me. I made the videos. I created the channel. I shared my work. When it comes to my work, it is not unreasonable for me to want to have the final say in how it is developed and displayed. People do this all the time on the Internet, this is nothing new. I don't owe anybody anything, especially if all I get in response is an entitled and ungrateful audience acting like my time belongs to them.
You really don't know anything about me. You only assume that I was somehow at fault just because you still hold some kind of bias against me. That was unprovoked on their part in which I was literally told that I just don't fit in and should go back to the hub with my old friends. They didn't care about my channel or my videos, in fact they've made fun of them at times and so have I. This was merely me coming to realize that the people I had been associating with in recent years were just not very good people to begin with. I am not the source of any elitism in the JK community, I just don't want to be a part of it anymore.
Even though it has been almost half a year since you posted this thread, I thought responding with an explanation and apology would be the right thing to do. In any practical sense I have no reason to give you answers, but I like seeing issues resolved, even if those involved still aren't happy about it. Yet you still attack my character and act like I committed some kind of transgression against the Jedi Knight fanbase.
So if I couldn't convince you before, let me make it clear in a different way: You are acting like the same people that ruined making videos for me in the first place. When I wiped my channel, I was still considering how I might go about restructuring it and creating new content, which is why I told you that I wasn't sure whether or not I'd put the tutorials back up or re-do them. But it was when you went behind my back to get them from my friends (and here for some weird reason since I don't talk to these guys) that I decided I had enough and pulled the plug. So was it really worth it in the end? I mean seriously, at the end of the day, it's an old-ass Star Wars game you're putting so much stake into. It's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. To quote one of my favorite level editors, "Of course we're autistic: We're the dying fanbase of a 20-year-old Quake clone with lightsabers."
Please tell me though, if I did re-release my videos, what would you do with that? I saw that the videos on your YouTube channel were modding tutorials taken from other sites. Would you do the same with mine? If so, why would I ever choose to put my stuff back up? Is it really not reasonable for others to simply respect my decision in leaving for whatever reason that be? Did you ever stop to think about what it was that might have actually compelled me to feel that way, or was it just YOU being selfish in wanting something from me regardless? I'm not trying to be antagonistic here, but I just don't see how I can get you to understand any other way.