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ForumsDiscussion Forum → Age difference
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Age difference
2004-01-27, 2:44 AM #1
So there’s this girl at work, and it definitely feels like there’s a little something between us. I met her and a few of her friends by chance after work today, and ended up, at her invitation, back at her place watching Finding Nemo. She’s a great girl.

Anyways, here’s the thing, she’s sixteen. I am 22. It just feels morally wrong. 20-23 would be perfect, 19 or 18 I could deal with... 16? That’s just so damn young. And I’m not even sure it’s legal... But, arrrgh, she’s just such a great girl. And freaken hot, too, yowsers!

So, would you date someone 6 years younger than you?

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

[This message has been edited by Spork (edited January 27, 2004).]
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2004-01-27, 2:47 AM #2
Meh.

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[This message has been edited by FastGamerr (edited January 27, 2004).]
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2004-01-27, 2:47 AM #3
Go for it. Age doesnt matter.

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Thats why i look like a pie.
With banana cream."


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2004-01-27, 2:55 AM #4
22-16 isn't really that bad, it happens a lot. Just make sure her parents really like you.

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2004-01-27, 2:55 AM #5
I sure would, I'm not sure of the legal standing of it, though.

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"When all else fails, eat pie."
thoughts from beyond observance
2004-01-27, 3:05 AM #6
The voice in the back of my head says:

Perhaps she's being friendly because she likes you, but thinks that the age difference will keep you from coming on to her.

Anyway, an actual girl would have to back that up before I'd consider it a legitamate possibility...

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2004-01-27, 3:16 AM #7
heh, my aunt and uncle are 16 years apart =P
(granted it was his second marriage...)
and i know some people who are 8 years apart (first marriage)

so i say go for it!
and yeah, make sure her parents are cool with it [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

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2004-01-27, 3:20 AM #8
This is such a complicated situation. I have some issues with the situation I am currently in and it is not as drastic of a difference of age. The woman I am currently interested in is 4 years older than me; I'm 20 and she is just turning 24. There are things that we've talked about were things have been made awkward cuase I'll end up making her feel old. I can work out with age differences though, i mean, hell, my sister and her husband have a huge age difference. Monica is 28, almost 29, and Rami is 50. I have seen very few people who participate in a relationship as true equals as they seem to.

I think you should try to go for it. If you can think of eachother as people, and not simply numbers, it might be able to work out for you.

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2004-01-27, 3:23 AM #9
It’s different once they get to a certain age, though. There’s nothing wrong with a 6 year gap when you’re 30 and 36 or something like that, but when one nearing the end of high school and the other has a college degree... Hell she hasnt even finished maturing physically yet.

It just seems so wrong.

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

[This message has been edited by Spork (edited January 27, 2004).]
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2004-01-27, 3:36 AM #10
if it feels rong, dont do it.
pure and simple.
Spend this time getting to know her as a friend. if it feels rong, wait untill she's gotten a little bit further in her life to have that type of relationship.

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Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2004-01-27, 3:38 AM #11
Elana said the most important thing there: "if it feels wrong, dont do it."

Love is based on emotions, thus feelings, and if it feels wrong, you're probably better off having her as just a friend.

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2004-01-27, 3:43 AM #12
I believe she phrased it "if it feels rong", actually.

As for my position, I feel the same way. Some females do develop faster than others, but aside from that, it should feel comfortable before such a relationship is initiated. I don't spend much time considering the possibility of becoming infatuated with a girl who is under 18 (though age of consent in Kansas is 16). I prefer to stick close to my own age.

That said, if you are at the point where you are asking members of an internet forum whether or not it is a good idea, chances are it isn't.


-Fox
2004-01-27, 3:51 AM #13
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Firefox:

That said, if you are at the point where you are asking members of an internet forum whether or not it is a good idea, chances are it isn't.
</font>


were not that bad of a bunch to ask about these sort of things.. *looks around* [http://forums.massassi.net/html/redface.gif] [http://forums.massassi.net/html/tongue.gif]

Please stop making fun of my spelling.

------------------
IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

Employees dying on the job are faling to fall down. THIS PRACTICE MUST STOP as it becmes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of he staf.

Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll.

[This message has been edited by Elana14 (edited January 27, 2004).]
Laughing at my spelling herts my feelings. Well laughing is fine actully, but posting about it is not.
2004-01-27, 3:55 AM #14
The most I have had was a 4 year difference. She was 19 and I was 23. We met in college. I had just graduated and she was still in college when we started dating.

Uh... let me just bottom line the legalities for you. In most places you could just date her without any legal problems, but if you got... serious... you could definately be thrown in jail.

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2004-01-27, 4:45 AM #15
Not in Australia, though. At 16 you can do whom thou wilt.

I'd be a bit leery going out with a 16 year old, and I'm only 19. I think the "if it feels wrong, don't do it" advice is pretty sound.
2004-01-27, 5:20 AM #16
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Firefox:
I believe she phrased it "if it feels rong", actually.

As for my position, I feel the same way. Some females do develop faster than others, but aside from that, it should feel comfortable before such a relationship is initiated. I don't spend much time considering the possibility of becoming infatuated with a girl who is under 18 (though age of consent in Kansas is 16). I prefer to stick close to my own age.

That said, if you are at the point where you are asking members of an internet forum whether or not it is a good idea, chances are it isn't.


-Fox
</font>


You know, you're a smart guy, Fox, but you can be a real prick sometimes. Lay off dude.
You had no reason to insult Elana's spelling; your post would have been perfect without that little gibe.
2004-01-27, 5:29 AM #17
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Matthew Pate:
Not in Australia, though. At 16 you can do whom thou wilt.</font>


Ahhh, so it is 16. You sure on that, Matt? One of my friends seemed to think it was a 2-year difference till both are 18, and then ‘whom though wilt’.

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.
2004-01-27, 5:32 AM #18
As long as you have love you'll pretty much move over the age obstical.

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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Burrie|WatchingFromTheShadows holds up a skeleton's head. "= or !=. That is the statement."</font>
2004-01-27, 5:40 AM #19
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Spork:
Ahhh, so it is 16. You sure on that, Matt? One of my friends seemed to think it was a 2-year difference till both are 18, and then ‘whom though wilt’.

</font>


I think Matt may have meant the age of consent.



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2004-01-27, 5:50 AM #20
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by powertickle:
You know, you're a smart guy, Fox, but you can be a real prick sometimes. Lay off dude.
You had no reason to insult Elana's spelling; your post would have been perfect without that little gibe.

</font>


Perhaps it's my own bias, but I agree with Fox. A senior in High School should know how to spell simple words such as "wrong" or "post".
Those bees all have paws!
2004-01-27, 5:54 AM #21
It's still completely unneccessary, especially in an advice thread on a forum which is supposedly inhabited by the more mature of the age group.

Did you ever think her finger just slipped, maybe?
2004-01-27, 5:56 AM #22
Her finger missed the "w" key, twice? And she is in that much of a hurry to get the post out she can't even re-read her post, or even hit the faffing backspace key once or twice? Riiight.

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"When all else fails, eat pie."
thoughts from beyond observance
2004-01-27, 5:58 AM #23
I think Austraila and Canada are the same: age 16 is the age of consent (I know Canada is at least)

ANYWAY!
I agree with what everyone else has been saying, if it feels wrong don't bother. If you actually do end up going out with her you should make sure no one gets too upset about the matter, like her parents.

I had the same problem with an age difference before, not 6 years but still.. it feels wierd when they're still in high school and you're going into 2-3 years of college so I kinda know your situation.
"You were probably a result of sabotage."
2004-01-27, 6:07 AM #24
Tough call. And age does matter.
I'm 35 (in 3 weeks) and my wife is 29. She was 18 when I met her so there were no legal problems to be worried about. heh...
I have dated a 16 year old girl when I was 21. And a 17 year old when I was 22.

The bottom line is, if you like her enough and she likes you, it doesn't matter what we or your friends say. LOL!!! You'll want to put your hands on her no matter what is going on. heh...

Last year I asked a 23 year old out on a date. Mind you age difference gets less meaningfull when you get over a certain age.

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To artificial life, all reality is virtual.

[This message has been edited by Darth Evad (edited January 27, 2004).]
2004-01-27, 6:48 AM #25
Yes, 16 year olds arent as *****d up as the older girls, they're young and innocent. Make her first relationship a good one, cos who here can honestly say 1st ones usually are????

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if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
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2004-01-27, 6:58 AM #26
The two of you are in different stages of life. I imagine that alone would result in a less than stellar relationship.
2004-01-27, 6:59 AM #27
I would, but not if the ages are 16 and 22.

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Pissed Off?
2004-01-27, 7:02 AM #28
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by powertickle:
You know, you're a smart guy, Fox, but you can be a real prick sometimes. Lay off dude.
You had no reason to insult Elana's spelling; your post would have been perfect without that little gibe.

</font>



I acutally laughed when I read Fox's reply cause I thought the same thing.

I did the same thing to her in her "need vibes for tomorrow thread"

She wanted our vibes for her driving, and her typing looked like a fourth grader. Sorry, but its true.

2004-01-27, 7:06 AM #29
Like Spork said, the younger someone is, the more the age difference matters. From what I've experienced, a lot of mental and emotional maturation goes on during the years right after High School. You've experienced that, but she hasn't, and your goals, interests, motivations, etc. will be different than hers.

A few years after High School the age difference doesn't matter as much because the emotional differences between people aren't as drastic. As you get into your 20's and 30's you can afford even greater age differences like have been shared here.

I hope I've said this tactfully because I've had an experience a lot like yours not too long ago. I'm 19 and she's 14, she's really nice and hot too, but I could tell there was a lot of differences between us emotionally. So I didn't pursue a relationship; I could just tell it wasn't going to work out well because of the differences in our development.

"It just feels morally wrong." It sounds like you know what you have to do.

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Check out updates for my editing work at the Shadow Jedi Academy.
2004-01-27, 7:11 AM #30
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Please stop making fun of my spelling.</font>


Please stop making glaring spelling errors that make my teeth grind when I read them. As has been mentioned before, a senior in high school should demonstrate better spelling.

Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Did you ever think her finger just slipped, maybe? </font>


Her fingers slip every time she spells "post", "wrong", and countless other words incorrectly?


-Fox
2004-01-27, 7:11 AM #31
16 is a little young. Right now, I personally won't touch a chick unless she's 18 or older. There is a 7-year difference in your situation, and that is pushing it very close.

I remember how it was back in High school. the 16 year old chicks looked good, but they had practically zero experience. At your age, you can seriously do better. Save the minors for R. Kelly. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

Also, even if you aren't in it for the sex, 16 year olds are still very immature and don't really know how life works yet.

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[This message has been edited by Pagewizard_YKS (edited January 27, 2004).]
2004-01-27, 7:13 AM #32
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
Ahhh, so it is 16. You sure on that, Matt? One of my friends seemed to think it was a 2-year difference till both are 18, and then ‘whom though wilt’.
</font>


Well, it's anyone that you aren't teaching or counselling. Which I assume you're not doing.

The "within 2 years" thing is from ages 10-16, I believe. Of course, I could be wrong, since this isn't exactly my area of expertise.

Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">

I think Matt may have meant the age of consent.
</font>


I think Spork did too!
2004-01-27, 7:14 AM #33
Presently I'm 16, so 10 is a bit young.

If she was 16 and I was in my 20's I woudn't have a problem.

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Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by DrkJedi82:
thanks for the all your <3 are belong to somebody set up us the 1337 swank OWNED
</font>
2004-01-27, 7:15 AM #34
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Kievan Mereel:
Like Spork said, the younger someone is, the more the age difference matters. From what I've experienced, a lot of mental and emotional maturation goes on during the years right after High School. You've experienced that, but she hasn't, and your goals, interests, motivations, etc. will be different than hers.

A few years after High School the age difference doesn't matter as much because the emotional differences between people aren't as drastic. As you get into your 20's and 30's you can afford even greater age differences like have been shared here.
</font>


Nail on head

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I'm not an actor. I just play one on TV.
Pissed Off?
2004-01-27, 7:19 AM #35
Haha, Spork is the one who started this thread--sorry about the semi-misquote [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

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2004-01-27, 7:40 AM #36
Imagine all the girls in the world are a sea. A sea of girls, or a girl sea, if you will. Now imagine you're in a supermarket. Imagine a girling boat girling for girls and selling them to the supermarket once a week. You do your shopping, but before checking out, you remember you've run out of girl. You go to the girl counter. You want to pick the fresh ones.

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<A HREF="http://www.rot13.com" TARGET=_blank>Wnav "Xebxb" Ghbzvara
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Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2004-01-27, 7:57 AM #37
A humorous analogy, but the last part is a bit off.. A girl that's 13 would be considered more fresh than a girl that's 16, no? Might want to rephrase it. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

Perhaps something like, "You want to pick the ripe ones." [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

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"When all else fails, eat pie."
thoughts from beyond observance
2004-01-27, 8:50 AM #38
well i know you to not be a dumb girl crazy boy, spork. so if you really dig this girl i think shes not some immature little twit (better not be :P dont let me down buddy). if she's a mature girl who can handle bein with you and not make you feel like youre babysitting her, its worth pursueing. but i think you need to get to know her a lot better (spend time with her as friends, and like someone said, get in good with her parents). because usually if you just meet someone, its still a little odd to ask them out. on top of that if youre 6 years older its odd x 2, so give it a little time, so the just-met oddness thing is way over. i hope that helps. the highschool-college thing happens a lot btw, but generally its a trend where the girl is stupid and foolish and thinks the college ugy is mature, where as he just thinks he's got an easy lay, so you hvae to be very careful with how you portray yourself and how you are with her.

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2004-01-27, 8:58 AM #39
Quote:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Jin:
A humorous analogy, but the last part is a bit off.. A girl that's 13 would be considered more fresh than a girl that's 16, no? Might want to rephrase it. [http://forums.massassi.net/html/wink.gif]

Perhaps something like, "You want to pick the ripe ones." [http://forums.massassi.net/html/biggrin.gif]

</font>


But the supermarket doesn't accept them that young, as they're too small for them to gain enough coverage.

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<A HREF="http://www.rot13.com" TARGET=_blank>Wnav "Xebxb" Ghbzvara
w_ghbzvara@yhhxxh.pbz</A>
Looks like we're not going down after all, so nevermind.
2004-01-27, 8:59 AM #40
Me being 14 I think it would be pretty disgusting if I were to date a girl 6 years younger than me. But I would date a girl that was 6 years older...tehehe In all seriousness though, I think it's illegal if you're over 19 and she's under 19. I could be wrong though...not sure where you live. :/

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