I defer you to Ruthven's suggestion in this case.

Will you be my gf maeve? I'll let you use my account, and we could write up posts together, and everytime you write something, I could look you lovingly in the eyes and say 'that's aptly put, darling'.

I even wrote you a poem..

grass of eternity
the house in the west was
and is
everlasting aficionado
the wind and the words without

Well this thread recently got a while lot more amusing...

old newz: I turn women lesbian

Its a gift

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}