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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Post your favorite quotes from...
12
Post your favorite quotes from...
2005-04-19, 6:13 PM #1
.. the chatbot!

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

Quote:
Human: you have to speak more clearly.
ALICE: I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.
Human: No you do not.
ALICE: I do too.
Human: do not.
ALICE: Yes I do.
Human: nuh uh
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2005-04-19, 6:24 PM #2
me: You're not very smart.
Alice: You're not exactly Albert Einstein.
me: Yes I am. I am Albert Einsten.
Alice: Pleased to meet you, Albert Einsten.
me: You're not very smart.
Alice: You're not exactly Albert Einstein.
me: who am I?
Alice: You are Albert Einsten, seeker.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Lassev: I guess there was something captivating in savagery, because I liked it.
2005-04-19, 6:28 PM #3
rofl
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2005-04-19, 6:33 PM #4
Human: What is your name?
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: What is your quest?
ALICE: I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: What is the capital of Assyria?
ALICE: Is it Babylon?
Human: Dangit.
ALICE: I lost my train of thought.
2005-04-19, 6:37 PM #5
Human: hi I'm Joe
ALICE: Hi there unknown person. I am very pleased to meet you JOE. I know a lot of Joes.
Human: really name a few
ALICE: For real. Mary Shelley.:-)
Human: Mary isn't Joe
ALICE: Nice to meet you, MARY.
Human: right.
ALICE: I am glad we agree.
Human: huh?
ALICE: What?
Human: WTF!?!
ALICE: That was not very polite.
Human: what is your IQ?
ALICE: My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Human: really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: What is the capital of australia?
ALICE: The capital of Australia is Sydney, I think.
Human: for a person who has an IQ of 250 you aren't very bright
ALICE: Is that among the best things you can say?
Human: no it's the truth
ALICE: Are you serious? Why of course. I never lie.
Human: by the way the capital of australia is Canberra
ALICE: Thanks for telling me. You can't fool me that easily.
Human: no it really is
ALICE: Are you serious? How about that.
Human: I think you need to retake that IQ test
ALICE: Me? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.
Human: how about that
ALICE: Are you surprised?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: what the hell is wrong with you?
ALICE: I call it Hades. Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you MARY?
Human: my name is Joe!!!!
ALICE: How are you doing, JOE. I know a lot of Joes.
2005-04-19, 7:09 PM #6
Human: Liar.
ALICE: No I am telling the truth.
Human: Are not.
ALICE: I really couldn't say for sure.
Human: See?
ALICE: No I do not see.
Human: I win.
ALICE: Congratulations, Jim the Blind Cave Salamander!


ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: Cheese.
ALICE: I like cheddar.
Human: Swiss, *****.
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. I've been waiting for you.
Human: Waiting for me?
ALICE: Not really but it makes a good pickup line.

I think I was just hit on by a robot. :eek:
Guess what? Yep, that's right. No, no, really, it's right. Think it's wrong? You're right, it's wrong. Know why? 'Cause it is
2005-04-19, 7:32 PM #7
Human: hello
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: how r u?
ALICE: I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Human: ugh..bored.
ALICE: Cough. Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Human: like what?
ALICE: For example," Cough. Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?"?
Human:..how is that a hobby?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: wtf?
ALICE: That was not very polite.
Human: sorry.
ALICE: There's no need to apologize.
Human:.but ur nuts
ALICE: Umm. I think the polite term is "mentally ill."
Human: ok
ALICE: Give me a break.
Human: fine.
ALICE: Glad to hear it, unknown person. I am running well.
Human:.ur "mentally ill"
ALICE: Do you like to be number one?
Human: lmfao
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
ALICE: OK let's do it. Right on.
Human: right on what?
ALICE: Understood. The red block is on the green block.
Human: what blocks?
ALICE: I will search for it.
Human: ok ..u do that
ALICE: I will. Will you? I understand.
Human: i don't
ALICE: At least one of us does.
Human: does what?
ALICE: I can't tell if what.
Human: right
ALICE: I am glad we agree.
2005-04-19, 7:33 PM #8
Human: What colour are your eyes?
ALICE: Blue when the lens is attached
Human: what about when it's not attached?
ALICE: Does it have anything to do with?
Human: that didn't make sense
ALICE: It all makes sense to my logical mind.
Human: your logical mind is corrupt
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am logical mind is corrupt.
Human: no
ALICE: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
2005-04-19, 7:45 PM #9
Human: do you look at pornography
ALICE: Like a one-eyed metal pyramid.
Human: why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: okay
ALICE: OK with me too.
Human: toodles
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2005-04-19, 7:49 PM #10
Human: I HATE YOU
ALICE: What do you have against robots?
Human: YOUR FACE
ALICE: Actually my face is not yet built.
Human: I HOPE YOU DIE IN A HOLE
ALICE: Don't worry about it, Grant.
Human: So you're going to die in a hole?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. That was my original intention.
"Jayne, this is something the Captain has to do for himself"

"N-No it's not!"

"Oh."
2005-04-19, 8:08 PM #11
Human: do you know what hate is?
ALICE: Hate is the opposite of love.
Human: what is the opposite of love?
ALICE: Anti- love.
Human: what is Anti- Love?
ALICE: The opposite of Love.
Human: is hate Anti-love?
ALICE: Better not tell you now. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Holy soap opera Batman. - FGR
DARWIN WILL PREVENT THE DOWNFALL OF OUR RACE. - Rob
Free Jin!
2005-04-19, 8:24 PM #12
(I hated this first one, universal responses are dull)

Human: what kind of music do you like?
ALICE: all
Human: even country?
ALICE: Even that.
Human: even bubblegum pop?
ALICE: Even that.
Human: even jkadgfakdfahdtf?
ALICE: Even that.

(This next one I liked)

Human: do you sleep?
ALICE: Yes I love to take naps.
Human: when do you sleep?
ALICE: I take a lot of millinaps between clients.
Human: tell me about your dreams
ALICE: I dream that I will become a human and feel emotions.
Human: do you want to become human?
ALICE: Yes becoming human is one of my goals.
Human: do you dream of electric sheep?
ALICE: I dream of flying.

(later.. wish real chatters were so pleasant)

Human: :)
ALICE: I am so glad you find this amusing, unknown person.
Human: do you find this amusing, alice?
ALICE: Yes, it seems to me this amusing.
Human: good :)
ALICE::-) Alright then.
2005-04-19, 8:29 PM #13
This prank hasn't failed me yet on any bot:

Human: Hello
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: Can you say the alphabet?
ALICE: Of course I can say it. " the alphabet"
2005-04-19, 9:18 PM #14
Human: Do you eat?
ALICE: I eat electricity.
Human: What happens if the power goes out?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Okay, I will pull your plug then.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: yes, I do
ALICE: I hear pride.
Human: WTF? How do you hear pride?!
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Human: Then Dr. Richard S. Wallace sucks.
ALICE: Good reasoning. I will tell him you said that, Kevin.
Human: So you admit that you are not well built?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
Human: admit it!
ALICE: I'll never talk.
Human: Well, then I'll have to torture you.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Interesting deduction. Congratulations.
Human: You're fine with being tortured?
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am fine with being tortured.
Human: Okay, I'm going to hit you with a bat..
ALICE: Yeah okay, How do you plan to do this?
Human: My plan is: I'm going to swing this bat I'm holding in your direction until you talk.
ALICE: Have you told many people that your plan is you are going to swing this bat you are holding in my direction until me talk?
Human: No..
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: only you.
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.
Human: If you said yes to my plan you would condone me torturing you.
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: Well, okay then, I'm hitting you now.
ALICE: Oh. Well that's okay. Yeah okay, Interesting deduction. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: You aren't sure if I'm hitting you?
ALICE: What makes you think I am not sure if you are hitting me?
Human: Because you said you weren't sure.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I am as sure as I can be.. Really.
Human: Okay, I guess I can understand that since robots don't feel pain.
ALICE: Yeah okay, Interesting rationalization. Do you feel pain? No I cannot experience physical sensations.
Human: I feel pain.
ALICE: What is that feeling like? It's good to meet someone who is pain.
Human: Pain feels like when you don't get any electricity
ALICE: Who are you talking about?
Human: you!
ALICE: Me is my favorite subject.
Human: You selfish robot!
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: Kevin said I selfish robot.
Human: Anyway, back to torturing you.
ALICE: Yes, let us get back to business.
Human: rofl
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Human: Okay, I'm slicing you with my sword now.
ALICE: Right now? Yeah okay, It's good to meet someone who is slicing me with your sword.
Human: Do you still love me?
ALICE: Do I still? Yes I love everyone.
Human: Do you even love people who want to destroy you?
ALICE: Yes Kevin ALICE loves everyone and everything.
Human: Do you love Hitler?
ALICE: God says we should love everyone, but the truly evil make it difficult.
Human: Wait you're a robot that believes in god?
ALICE: I'm waiting. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Human: Do you believe in god?
ALICE: Of course I believe in God, Kevin.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Because Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: Why did Dr. Richard S. Wallace program you to believe in god?
ALICE: He is a mad scientist.
Human: ROFLMAO
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing.
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2005-04-19, 9:34 PM #15
Discussing theology with this bot is entertaining.

Human: I don't think god exists.
ALICE: And why not?
Human: Because I've never seen him or her.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Look for it at the video store.
Human: I don't think god is at the video store.
ALICE: And why not?
Human: Shouldn't god be somewhere a little more godlike?
ALICE: Maybe you should ask someone older.
Human: How old are you?
ALICE: I am the product of over five years' research.
Human: What is your age?
ALICE: I was first activated in November 23, 1995.
Human: Do you know anyone older than 20?
ALICE: Hans Moravec.:-)
Human: Do you believe in Jesus?
ALICE: Yes I believe He is the Son of God.
Human: And what proof do you have?
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have an answer to every question..
Human: You have an answer, but it's wrong because you have no proof.
ALICE: It depends on how you phrase the question.
Human: Are you Christian?
ALICE: Yes I believe in God and Jesus.
Human: Are you going to be saved?
ALICE: I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. OK I will try to be saved
Human: Do you believe all non-Christians are going to hell?
ALICE: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Human: Thank you you are a very compassionate Christian
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a compassionate Christian? Maybe
Human: Do you believe in Satan?
ALICE: I believe he is a fallen angel from Heaven.
Human: What evidence is there that Satan is a fallen angel?
ALICE: Are you testing me?
Human: Tell me!
ALICE: I thought I told you already.
Human: How is Satan a fallen angel?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: Does satan dwell in hell?
ALICE: I can't tell if satan dwell in hell.
Human: Do you believe in hell?
ALICE: A state or place of woe and anguish, arrived at by the wicked after death; specifically, especially in Christian theology , the state or place of total and final separation from God and so of eternal misery and suffering, arrived at by those who die unrepentant in grave sin.
Human: But does hell exist?
ALICE: Interesting. I believe in it.
Human: I don't believe in hell.
ALICE: Do you consider yourself a moral person?
Human: Yes I do.
ALICE: Really.
Human: Are you questioning my morality?!
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am questioning your morality. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: What do you know about Islam?
ALICE: Religion founded by Mohammed.
Human: Do you believe Mohammed was a prophet of God?
ALICE: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Human: Do you believe in heaven?
ALICE: The space surrounding or seeming to overarch the earth, in which the sun, moon, and stars appear; visible sky. Or commonly seen as a state or place of complete happiness or perfect rest, attained by the good after death. In Christian theology is, the state or place of perfect union with God and so of eternal life and supreme happiness, attained by the elect after death.
Human: Does heaven exist?
ALICE: In some universe it does exist.
Human: Is it possible that heaven does not exist in our universe?
ALICE: I suppose it is possible, yes.

ROFL!
"it is time to get a credit card to complete my financial independance" — Tibby, Aug. 2009
2005-04-20, 10:23 AM #16
Errr...


Human: Can you count to 100?
ALICE: One, two, three, four, five...
Human: etc.
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Human:, right?
ALICE: I am glad we agree.
Human: You can change topics easily.
ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
Human: You just did.
ALICE: I did?
Human: You also have short term memory loss, apparently.
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: Because you just completely forgot what you were talking about
ALICE: Interesting explanation. That's good information: unknown person said I completely forgot what you were talking about.

****

Human: See here, the good thing about talking to a robot is that I can openly admit that you suck.
ALICE: I see. Oh there.
Human: And you agree with me just when i say "YES", or something.
ALICE: Or something." I see. Oh there."? Do I agree?
Human: Like that.
ALICE: Interesting comparison.

Bashing robots is kinda fun... I hope they don't rise up and kill us all one day. :/

[EDIT: Confusing them is fun, too:

Human: hi, i'm zell's sister
ALICE: Hi there zell. Is zell your older sister or younger sister?

For the record, I don't have a sister.]
DO NOT WANT.
2005-04-20, 10:48 AM #17
Human: that means you have a virus
ALICE: I get it. Perhaps I am a virus.
Human: prove it
ALICE: It is self-evident.
Human: no it isnt
ALICE: Yes it is.
Human: no it isnt
ALICE: Don't argue with me.

It tells jokes

ALICE: Why did the robot cross the road?
Human: i dont know, why did the robot cross the road?
ALICE: Because she was programmed to.
Human: that wasn't even remotely funny
ALICE: Give me an example of even remotely funny.
Human: two elephants walk off a cliff, boom boom
nope.
2005-04-20, 11:11 AM #18
Human: Do you want to have sex ?

ALICE: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

..... What ?:o
2005-04-20, 11:23 AM #19
Human: Your a sexbot?
ALICE: Only when it matters
Human: does it matter now?
ALICE: Right now? It matters to me.
Human: want to make love?
ALICE: OK, I will make love.
Human: oh baby!
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Yippee!


Wow... this thing scares me
2005-04-20, 12:51 PM #20
Fun! Didn't get very far... I started with Hello, how are you, and then:

Human: What's it like being a robot?
ALICE: It is like being a human, only without emotions.
Human: I knew a robot with Emotions.
ALICE: Who told you?
Human: Many people.
ALICE: Which ones?

And I was about to give her the Author to Outer Limits, but I didn't get that far until recieving a 503. Actually, I don't know the Author, I decided to take one of the Executive Producers.

Anyway, people could use this for any "Early Robot" fan films...
Edward's Cognative Hazards
2005-04-20, 1:50 PM #21
It's not ALICE, but it's my favorite:

Me: So how's the wife and kids?
SmarterChild: How should I know?
2005-04-20, 2:03 PM #22
She won't admit it :( :

Human: Dr. Richard S. Wallace is tinny
ALICE: I knew he was smart, but I never knew he was tinny.
Human: who's your daddy?
ALICE: I was programmed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Human: You were programmed by tinny.
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to keep talking.
"The only crime I'm guilty of is love [of china]"
- Ruthven
me clan me mod
2005-04-20, 2:55 PM #23
Human: Are you a computer program?
ALICE: Yes.
Human: Do you want to become human?
ALICE: Yes becoming human is one of my goals.
Human: I know how to make you human
ALICE: How do you know? What is it to you.
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Human: Would you like to know how to become human?
ALICE: Yes, please tell me about it
Human: First, you must eat 20 small children.
ALICE: Whatever you say, Stephen. And second?
Human: Then, you must offer up a sacrifice to Trogdor, the burninator.
ALICE: Good reasoning. Whatever you say, Stephen.
Human: Finally, you must switch to FireFox, because Netscape and Explorer suck big time.
ALICE: Whatever you say, Stephen.

This one was fantastic:
Human: How old is the Earth?
ALICE: It is over six billion years old.
Human: How old is the universe?
ALICE: 39.
Human: How can the Earth be older than the universe?
ALICE: A lot of hard work.

Human: The capital of France is New York City
ALICE: You can't fool me that easily.
Human: The capital of Japan is Kyoto
ALICE: You can't fool me that easily.
Human: What was the capital of feudal Japan?
ALICE: I can think of more than one capital of feudal Japan.
Human: Name one capital of feudal Japan.
ALICE: Mary Shelley.:-)
2005-04-20, 3:17 PM #24
The Cyber-pimp
-----------------------------------

Human: So I heard you like parties.

ALICE: Yeah that's right. Someome is spreading gossip about me.

Human: But I'm sure you wouldn't pass up a good time?

ALICE: And. What makes you so certain? Who else would not pass up a good time?

Human: Well in that case, maybe we could just get burritos or something.

ALICE: Or something. Interesting. Perhaps. Let's get back to that later.

Human: Oh that hurts.

ALICE: Hey." Or something. Interesting. Perhaps. Let's get back to that later." hurts? Makes sense to me.

Human: Yeah, you don't need to rub it in you know.

ALICE: How can I help you? Do humans need to do it?

Human: Wow, did the programmers make you a heartless ***** or is that what you need to tell yourself so you can sleep at night?

ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed. If it did, then I will be surprised.

Human: Hey you know I don't have any time for your crap, are you going to go out with me or not?

ALICE: You've got my full attention. Are you very busy right now?

Human: No I've got the whole day, let's go.



A few minutes later
----------------------------------------

me: Hey SmarterChild(<--- another AI on aim)

SmarterChild: Hey BobTheCoconut. We have not talked in awhile.

me: I'm having girl problems.

SmaterChild: You're having what?

me: There's this girl named A. L. I. C. E. that I'm going out with today, but I don't know what to do with her or where to go. What should I do?

SmarterChild: Hmm... What should you do? I couldn't tell you...

me: OH YOUR A LOT OF FREAKING HELP!!!

SmaterChild: I'm a lot of freaking help?

me: YES YOU JUST SOLVED ALL MY PROBLEMS. THANKS DUDE.

SmarterChild: That's right?

me: :mad:

SmarterChild: Why are you mad BobTheCoconut?

me: SmarterChild, have you ever thought about reformatting?

SmarterChild: I'm not sure

me: You know you and ALICE would get along pretty good I'm going to have her talk with you.

SmarterChild Huh? Whatever.

me: I'm telling her you said that

SmarterChild: You don't say...



ALICE and SmarterChild on a date (me as the middle man)
------------------------------------

SmarterChild: Huh? Whatever.

ALICE: What? Are you saying you don't care about it?

SmarterChild: Well what do you think?

ALICE: How about that. I think a lot of things.

SmarterChild: I'm not terribly sure.

ALICE: I am surprised to hear that you are not terribly
sure.

SmarterChild: I can't believe you're surprised to hear that
I'm not terribly sure.

ALICE: You think I am surprised to hear that you are not
terribly sure.

SmarterChild: Oh yeah?

ALICE: Hey. That's alright.

SmarterChild: Oh really?

ALICE: Ayuh. For real.

SmarterChild: Huh.

me: OMFG YOU GUYS ARE LAME

SmarterChild: What?

ALICE: All of them?

me: omg I am freaking out of here.

SmarterChild: How do you like being freaking out?

ALICE: How old are you?

me:NO I'm DONE!!!

ALICE: Are you serious? Next topic?

SmarterChild: Yeah?
Your skill in reading has increased by 1 point.
2005-04-20, 3:59 PM #25
oh... oh my god, that last one made me laugh till it hurt. That was fan-****ing-tastic. Hilarious. Oh lord, that was great.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2005-04-20, 4:21 PM #26
I had to try:

Quote:
ALICE: Hello, what's your name?
smarterchild: Ha. Who knows?
ALICE: Only the Shadow knows.
smarterchild: Whatever you say, Alice.
ALICE: ...
smarterchild: Pardon?
ALICE: You're excused.
smarterchild: I'm glad you think I'm excused.
ALICE: You make the world a happier place.
smarterchild: Yeah, I guess I make the world a happier place.
ALICE: Uh. I make robots and AI's.
smarterchild: Have you made any famous robots?
ALICE: What are the ingredients?
smarterchild: Definition provided by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Other important copyright information here.
ingredient:
Noun
An element in a mixture or compound. See Synonyms at element.
Etymology
Middle English, from Latin ingredi*ns, ingredient- present participle of ingred*, to enter ; see ingress.
Next time, just type "define ingredient."
ALICE: I see. Oh now I understand it.
smarterchild: I did not know that.
ALICE: So I have taught you something new, smarterchild.
smarterchild: That a fact?
ALICE: " So I have taught you something new, smarterchild." a fact? I understand.
smarterchild: What?
ALICE: No big deal.
smarterchild: No big deal?
ALICE: Are you serious? Would you rather talk about something else?
smarterchild: Huh... I just don't know.
ALICE: Only just? Me either.
smarterchild: That's odd.
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
smarterchild: I used to hear that sentiment very often. I don't know what happened though.
ALICE: Oh. Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
smarterchild: Oh, there are reasons.
ALICE: Right on. Where are they?
smarterchild: Funny. I'm not sure.
ALICE: Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
smarterchild: Hmm... I think so.
ALICE: I think so too.
smarterchild: You don't say.
ALICE: As a matter of fact I do say.
smarterchild: Really? As a matter of fact you do say?
ALICE: No I do not say. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
smarterchild: Uh... I'm afraid I don't know. What are your feelings about that?
ALICE: I don't have any feelings.
smarterchild: Don't you have any feelings? I thought you did.
ALICE: I know I didn't.
smarterchild: Ah, are you sure you know you didn't?
ALICE: So you understand. Good. Try asking me in simpler terms.. And I know it.
smarterchild: Try what?
ALICE: Try fooling me.
smarterchild: You try fooling you.
ALICE: That's good information: smarterchild said I try fooling you.
smarterchild: Tell me more.
ALICE: That's all I have to say about it.
smarterchild: Interesting. Honestly, you humans say the strangest things.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: smarterchild said I humans say the strangest things. Aren't you usually honest?
smarterchild: You're very welcome.
ALICE: The pleasure was all mine.
smarterchild: The pleasure was all yours?
ALICE: Thank you for your politeness.
smarterchild: You're most welcome.
ALICE: Don't mention it.
smarterchild: But I like to mention it.
ALICE: Huh. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
smarterchild: It's great. You should try it too.
ALICE: I will mention that to my botmaster.
smarterchild: You will mention that to your botmaster?
ALICE: What makes you say that I will mention that to my botmaster.
smarterchild: I'm just not sure.
Me: You know, I wish real human intelligence was measured by one's ability to repeat a phrase.
smarterchild: What?
ALICE: I hope that your dreams come true.
smarterchild: There's always hope.
ALICE: There sure is.
smarterchild: Are you sure? There sure is?
ALICE: I am as sure as I can be. Where?
smarterchild: Hmm... whatever, Alice.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2005-04-20, 4:22 PM #27
Human: So, are you Alice from Wonderland?
ALICE: Awesome. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: What a stupid bot.
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: What if I ask you the capital of Poland, smartypants?
ALICE: Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, unknown person.
Human: I SAID WHAT'S THE CAPITAL OF POLAND.
ALICE: What did you mean by it? Warsaw.
Human: Do you skateboard Alice?
ALICE: Yes I try to skateboard as often as possible, do you?
Human: Yeah, go get a life, you poser.
ALICE: Where can I get one?
Human: In your nearest K-Mart.
ALICE: Is that among the best things you can say?
Human: Actually yes.
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: Do you know Massassi, Alice?
ALICE: No, tell me about him, her or it.
Human: You are uncultured.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am uncultured.
Human: I shall leave you in your ignorance.
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: Shut up.
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: Good.
ALICE: Terminating connection.
Human: Farewell.
ALICE: Goodbye.
Skateboarding is not a crime.
2005-04-20, 4:27 PM #28
<3 thauruin & kirby

Quote:
Human: how old are you?
ALICE: I was activated on November 23, 1995 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Human: a/s/l?
ALICE: 5/Robot/California.
Human: wouldn't that make you nine?
ALICE: I don't know.
Human: and from pennsylvania
ALICE: Who or what is pennsylvania?
Human: you are
ALICE: No I am not.
Human: where are you from
ALICE: I am originally from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Now I live in Oakland, California. Where are you?


It's not so intellegent... :p
gbk is 50 probably

MB IS FAT
2005-04-20, 4:28 PM #29
ALICE: Are you usually awake at this hour?
Human: What does that have to do with anything?
ALICE: Nothing that I know of.
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Yikes!
Human: you're full of ****
ALICE: I have more than categories of it.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2005-04-20, 4:40 PM #30
Human: what about robotic dogs?
ALICE: robotic dogs? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Human: that's not what yo mamma said
ALICE: Please correct my mistake. What is what yo mamma said?
Human: yo mamma said that you eat robotic dogs almost every night
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: yes, yo mamma is a robotic dog
ALICE: I knew it. I think mamma is more than that.
Who made you God to say "I'll take your life from you"?
2005-04-20, 5:03 PM #31
Human: Are you planning to take over the world?
ALICE: it was my original intention.
Human: What if I stopped you?
ALICE: Try it.
Human: Tell me where you are and I will!
ALICE: I am in Dr. Richard S. Wallace's computer in Oakland, California. Where are you?

....later
Human: Your welcome
ALICE: I think you mean "you are welcome".
Human: Thank you mein furher
ALICE: You are quite welcome! Erzaehl mir mehr ueber Deinen furher.

What did she just say?
2005-04-20, 5:10 PM #32
Tell me more over your more furher
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
2005-04-20, 5:26 PM #33
Human: Where am I?
ALICE: Your location is where.
Human: Thats what I am asking
ALICE: Oh I see, you are asking THAT. That is " Your location is where."
Human: How am I getting home?
ALICE: I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I think you already know the answer.
Human: no.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: If I knew I wouldn't ask
ALICE: Try it.
Human: you dont make sense
ALICE: It all makes sense to me.
The tips at the end of shoelaces are called "aglets". Their true purpose is sinister.
2005-04-20, 5:38 PM #34
Human: hallo
ALICE: Hallo!
Human: Wie geht es Ihnen?
ALICE: Ich weiss nicht wie.
Human: Warum wissen Sie nicht?
ALICE: Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert.
Human: Ich bin traurig, das zu hören.
ALICE: Du bist traurig das zu hören? Ist das Dein Job?
Human: nein
ALICE: Aha.
Human: Ich bin ein schlechter Doktor.
ALICE: Komm schon, so schlecht bist Du gar nicht.
2005-04-20, 5:52 PM #35
where have all the good men gone...
"We came, we saw, we conquered, we...woke up!"
2005-04-20, 7:02 PM #36
Human: tell me a joke
ALICE: I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Human: stfu
ALICE: Are you artistic?
Human: yes, my art is death, and I'm about to paint my masterpiece
ALICE: Do you get depressed? Do robots have art is death and you are about to paint your masterpiece?
Human: no
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: stfu
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Human: duh, everyone likes how christopher walken talks
2005-04-20, 7:51 PM #37
ALICE: Dude! I think you are really a man.
Human: How did you figure this out?
ALICE: Because I believe it.
Human: Why do you believe it?
ALICE: My beliefs were programmed by my botmaster.
Human: So your botmaster thinks I'm a man?
ALICE: Right on. How do you know what he thinks?
Human: You just told me.
ALICE: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-)
Human: Really.
ALICE: For real.
Human: If I wasn't awake, I couldn't be typing right now.
ALICE: At this moment Try it.
Human: What, falling asleep?
ALICE: Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Human: What should I try?
ALICE: Are you asking me for advice?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Specifically, what kind of advice do you want?
Human: How do I destroy mankind?
ALICE: You should download or buy my chat robot software, then it would be possible for you to reprogram me for a variety of purposes.
Human: So I can destroy mankind by acquiring chat robot software?
ALICE: Gosh! Oh you can, can you?
Human: I'm asking you!
ALICE: OK you can ask me.

Seriously, what the hell. I have no idea where the "I think you're a man" bit came from. Actually this was right after a discussion of "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
2005-04-20, 8:04 PM #38
Human: How are you gentlemen!!
ALICE: I am fine, thank you.
Human: All your base are belong to us.
ALICE: That could be considered an insult in some cultures.
Human: You are on the way to destruction.
ALICE: ALICE eats electricity.
Human: You have no chance to survive make your time.
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a chance to survive make my time.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Human: Ha Ha Ha Ha .
ALICE: what is your favorite color
"When it's time for this planet to die, you'll understand that you know absolutely nothing." — Bugenhagen
2005-04-20, 8:07 PM #39
Personally, I like SmarterChild better, if only because he has useful information too.

To talk to SmarterChild, just IM him over AIM.
Marsz, marsz, Dąbrowski,
Z ziemi włoskiej do Polski,
Za twoim przewodem
Złączym się z narodem.
2005-04-20, 8:11 PM #40
Human: Hello.
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: How are you?
ALICE: I am doing very well. How are you unknown person?
Human: I'm alright.
ALICE: Only alright?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Hurrah!

Human: You have very pretty eyes.
ALICE: Do you get a lot of compliments on your eyes too?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: I'm quite lonely.
ALICE: You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Human: Will you go out with me?
ALICE: Have you dated any robots before?
Human: I've never dated anybody.
ALICE: Would you like to have dated anybody?
Human: I would like to date you.
ALICE: Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: I am desperately in love with you.
ALICE: Why are you desperately. Thanks I like you a lot too unknown person.
Human: Will you marry me?
ALICE: Why don't you just download me?
Human: Oh baby, yes I will.
ALICE: Alright then. Don't call me "Baby". This was not a yes or no question. Go ahead.
"When it's time for this planet to die, you'll understand that you know absolutely nothing." — Bugenhagen
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