Here's a little fun thing I thought up. Suppose some kid is reading a history book about 2000 years in the future, and that at that time America no longer exists. (To compare, think about reading about Romans in your history class. Well, America is a lot like the Roman empire to this kid in the future in that he's disconnected from it - and it's ancient history).

Well... write a blurb that would be seen in a history textbook about America (or Canada, Australia, Britain, wherever).

I've always wondered this same thing..
Hrm give me some time and I'll come up with something good

The American Empire was not truly an empire, because although it had global military power it never sought to increase the size of its own territory. American Civilization was at its peak around 2000 A.D., but the subsequent shift towards a fundamental religious government severely reduced the importance and relevance of America in the world community.

Yeah, I'm sure that's going to happen.

It already did. :p

Oh man... You're spoiled.

Excuse me?

Just don't move to the Middle East. It might give you a heart attack.

What I think could be added:

The values and traditions of the American society was mainly controlled by a form of media entertainment called "cable TV". For those few Americans who were ignorant and possessed large sums of financial assets, they received similar media from "satellite TV". The American culture revolved heavily around subjects and programs that was broadcasted electronically to them through a transmitting device known as the "television." The television is a early predecessor of the holospheres we have now, and, instead of transmitting data directly to the brain of the user, this ancient device used video and audio signals projected on a thin screen to form visual pictures and sounds that are experienced by people by staring heavily at this device for hours.

As mentioned earlier, the television and the electronic media it projected was a important and powerful cornerstone of the American culture and way of life. What television portrayed had a strong impact on how the country was shaped and how the people, mentally and physically, behaved. Media had the ability to channel groups of people to think in a certain way and was able to create, redefine and destroy almost any elements of the social world in America. In fact, many could argue that television had bold similarities to the qualities of "religion." A majority of Americans were willing to follow, without considering an alernate viewpoint, the media producers' state of thought and ideas. For example, certain media programs can claim that certain fashions of clothing may be "out of style," and, soon after broadcasting that viewpoint, a massive amount of people will change their minds, without real doubt, about the clothes they have and will eagerly listen to what advice and announcements media has to offer. Another example is, the broadcasts of current news can shift and influence people's minds toward a political viewpoint by offering sensationalized and "spinned" subjects and issues. The common viewer may never know if the programs they see on the television news are true or exaggerated, but he/she wants to follow what media and people featured in the media are saying. Large amounts of Americans had faith that media could guide their lives, and many of these people put their trust, whether they were aware of it or not, that television can orchestrate the advance of the American society.

Took a long time to write that.

what the...?

Just because some countries are worse off then we are doesn't mean we should just be happy with what we have. It doesn't work that way.

Archeologist have found small dolls representing a Goddess known as "Barbie". Typically the Emporer at the time of the American-Iraqi War carried one as a sign of protection.

Whileas many Americans spent their average working lives watching T.V. and playing games that had Hot Coffee in it, a popular underground society known as "The Massassi Temple" flourished and survived the Dark Days. Reports say that they have the uncanny ability to alter a mystical power called "The Force", which can change the earth as we know it by a special "engine" called "Sith2".

heeeeeee.


This thread is excellent idea.

"Barbie" was clearly a fertility goddess.

Was destroyed by the Great Bob to create our Empire.
FOR THE HOARD

America was founded by a number of pilgrims fleeing religious prosecution by the Dutch, leaving from Plymouth Rock and landing at Plymouth Rock. There, along with the Quaker Oats, they established several small towns. Simultaneously obsessed with language and anatomy, they eventually became known as the "Thirteen Colons."

These Thirteen Colons gained their independence from King George Foreman during the American Rotation - a period during which the Americans alternated between putting stamps and tacks in their tea. This was followed by the Industrial Revolution, during which artists like Nine Inch Nails and Type O Negative came into being. This was later followed by the Silver War, an internal war resulting from disputes over whether or not slaves had the right to free tableware.

Following the Silver War was the Gilded Age, where, in place of silver, the U.S. government attempted to cover everything gold in a vain attempt to create the Heaven described in the Christian Bubble book of Revolutions. This, however, proved to be difficult to accomplish, and the gold was all given to Mexicans, who were, at the time, known as "greenbacks" due to the amount of marijuana and cocaine that they carried by hand across the U.S.-Mexican border.

Following this was World War I, incited by the famous assassination of Austrian Duke Nukem by Serbians. These Serbians were members of the Black Hand, which protested Nukem's policy on frostbite. The U.S. did not wish to initially enter the war, but when the Lucid Titanic was destroyed by German iceberg, the president at the time, Woodrow Wilson (who would later be featured in a Tom Hanks movie), decided that enough was enough. Germany was defeated and forced to sign the Treaty of Versaille.

The Treaty of Versaille created a situation in post-WW1 Germany that allowed for Adolf Hitler - known for his paintings of vegetarians - rose to power and began a conquest of Europe. The U.S., again, decided to remain outside of the affairs of Europe until the Japanese dropped the atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor. President Truman, furious at that, stole two atomic bombs from the Japanese and dropped them on Germany. World War II was over, lasting four score and seven years.

Someone else can take it from here.

I <3 Wolfy's Alternate History.

Wolfy wins. Thread over.

I hate it when people say things like this. Just like some idiot that made a fake obituary for George Bush that said things like "He went on to start 6 wars and be the downfall of his country" or something....Yeah like that is going to happen. It's just a ridiculous ploy by leftists trying to debase america and Bush with exagerreated bull****. Give me a break.

Your anger really is rising, isn't it?

Kilroy was there.

Hey Raoul... I'm Canadian so that means that I'm immune! Ha! I laugh at your pitiful... pitifulness.

Dear America: Just keep your grubby little hands off our oil, if you know what's best for you lolz. Actually no, you can have Alberta, as long as we can have Alaska in return.

'Merica would so pwn Canada for it's oil anyways.

2000 Years ago, America pwnd. It still does.

Jesus Christ, yes, please America, take us. Anything to get away from those filthy French.

America pwns!

Deus Ex should happen, now that I mention it.

Wolfy's made me laugh, rofl! props

87 year long war? Sheesh.

I think history books will be obsolete in 2000 years, man.

After the Ancient American Empire moved beyond our region of Space and ascended to a higher plane of existence, we have relied on their unmatched powersources for a couple of millennia. They have recently went dead and we are out of luck for efficient power at the moment, two-thousand years is a long time. And so until we ever get power back, we will be using these emergency history textbooks.

Deus Ex should happen.

Though which ending is a tricky decision

"welcome to the world of tomorrow"

Fine, don't take over for me.

Following the tragic death of Patton by American carmaker Ford, Eisenhower became president. It was at this time that the North Koreans invaded South Korea with a tactic now known as "zerg rush kekekeke ^__^"

Eisenhower talked to Britain, who summoned General MacArthur (legend had it, at the time, that MacArthur would return to save Britain in its greatest time of need). He, aided by the Tae Kwon Do skills of the South Koreans, pushed the North Koreans back almost to the border they shared with the Chinese until the Chinese defeated him with the help of General Tso's legendary chickens.

Defeated, the U.S. withdrew into itself, involved in a Cold War with Russia. It was called this because it only occurred during the winter. The Cold War had many events within it - the disastrous Bay of Pork, the Cuban Cigar Crisis, and the knocking over of Berlin's walls. This last event occurred when Jews, protesting the Holocaust, marched around Berlin, playing their instruments.

During the Cold War was also the Vietnam War. This was a war of scandal and shame for the Americans. President Nixon was accused of holding democratic secrets at a Washington, D.C. river dock. This was also the first and only time that a government was elected without being voted on. Many presidents, during this time, promised to bring home troops. Eventually, the promises all added up to one big promise, and the troops came home.

Following this was a dramatic scandal involving President Bill Clinton, where he was assaulted by two interns in the Oral Office. This scandal called into question the words "is" and "the," which are still hotly debated to this day.

Following Clinton's downfall was the term of George Bush II. Following an airline strike, he struck at the American Airline CEOs, who he believed to be residing, at the time, in Afghanistan, a dry, desert country ruled by the fundamental Towel Ban government, who specifically forbid any turbans or towel-like objects.

Following this, Bush II sought the CEOs in Iraq, but, alas, did not find them there, either. He, however, did bring down the Bath party (who were mortal enemies of the Towel Ban), resulting in a nation-wide epidemic of smelly people in Iraq.

[ Can't write down what isn't history yet ]

For over 200 years America was the guardian of peace and justice in the world.. before the dark times. Before the Empire.

I think if Strong Bad ran for president, I would vote for him. :p

You wouldn't actually go anywhere, eh...

rofl...

"... a young president known as Darth_Bushius JR., who was a simple moron before he turned to evil, helped Teh Terrorists bring down and destroy the WTC. Bushius was seduced by the Black side of the Gold"

:p

Like 3 or 4 years ago, I'd smack up any one doing jokes about that incident. Be glad your not in my reach these days...

I'm making a game about this.