(I've often wondered about this very subject, actually, being something of a history nut. I've done my best here to simulate an A.D. 4000 high school level textbook. I've taken great pains to make it about as accurate about our times as our high school textbooks are about anything before 1 B.C.
)
Little is known about the ancient empire of Omorka (possibly pronounced "Amarka" or "Omoraka"). There are many reasons for this, but one of them is that most Omorkian documents were recorded not in clay tablets or even on papyrus papers, but rather in fragile electronic storage units. Many of these units, which varied widely in shape and size, have been recovered, but most have been damaged beyond readability. Recently, historian James K. Polkadot has argued that early Omorkians used paper documents, but his theories have been ridiculed as absurd (he also proposes, among other things, that Washington was a real person and the Revolution War was a real historical event!).
It was believed in older times that Omorka was founded by rebels fleeing from the persecution of the Britch Commonwealth, but modern scholars now agree that it is more likely that Omorka was initially populated by migratory fishermen who set up temporary settlements on the shores of Omorka, and interbred with the local indiginous peoples. The result was a mixed population speaking a European language possibly similar to Swedish, and ruled over by a class of European nobility.
Over time, the population on the continent of Pippiwig (known then as "North Omorka", named after its largest country), slowly developed into two main groups: In the North, fur-hunting barbarian tribes known collectively as the "Canda", and in the south, a group of small city-states known as "the Colnies" (legend has it that there were originally 13 of these city-states, but scholars agree that it is unlikely that the number of colonies should just happen to be such a signifigant number. Estimates range between 7 and 22 "Colnies"). According to the Myth of King Washington, the various city-states were united when they were attacked by a powerful Canda chieftan called Gorg. Some versions of the tale say that King Washington's first name was "Gorg", but scholars believe that this came about from a garbled retelling of the war between King Washington and King Gorg. Some legends even claim that this King Gorg came from across the sea.
Scholars now agree that King Washington and Gorg were not real people, but there may be a kernel of truth in the legends. Many believe that there may have been a war or perhaps a series of conflicts between the Omorkian Colnies and the Canda tribes, which caused the Omorkian city-states to unify under a single leader known as a Prezdand or Prezidand. According to legend, many of these city-states at first refused to join the newly born empire, and King Washington's son, Ablinkon, conquered them in a bloody war of expansion. While there is debate as to whether Ablinkon (or Ab-Linkon) existed, it is certain that some sort of conflict embroiled the Omorkian Empire in its early days.
Next Week: The World Wars. The Omorkian Empire conquers Europe and Japan, but it is not long before the Ruskan Empire halts their progress and begins a decades-long standoff.