Ladies and gentlemen (but predominantly the latter) of the Massassian community, I have a problem. And let me forewarn you that for those of you adverse to bloggish threads, this does involve an aspect of my personal life which I'm trying to sort out, so if you're disinclined to read on... just remember that no one's making you.

I can't kiss girls, and for the life of me, I can't get over this. I enjoy it, I'm not all that bad at it, but I can't seem to initiate it. It's as if I'm violating the personal space of a stranger, or that, in taking a grand leap of faith that we both dig each other enough (even when I am 100% positive that she wants me to), I'm suddenly smothered in clouds of doubt. I deathly fear that look of dread and disgust, the look of revilement at which women seem to have so craftily perfected, or even the casual but polite brush-off that I know probably won't come but nevertheless paralyzes me from any action. I just can't do it. I feel that I need some excuse in order to get into a kissing situation, but there have been times when I would literally do anything to get *out* of a situation where I might have to give a first kiss.

I was in a drama once where kissing was involved and not only did I insist on stage kissing, I almost walked out of the show because this was a requirement. And when practicing with my thankfully patient though understandably confused actress counterpart? I paced around and talked nonsense and couldn't look at her and literally shook like a leaf. How cute, right? Ugh! And then last night, I was walking this girl back to her dorm and she tooootally wanted it, and even delayed by suggesting we go over to this less lit and populated area, and I followed, but I cracked some joke which I filled with nervous laughter on my part, and she still wanted it, and I just walked off into the night. Yeesh

I went out with a girl for a month once without kissing her - and then when we finally did it, after a whole night of me hedging about and avoiding the subject, she decided to give me the friends talk the next week. The first girl I would have kissed, when I tried to make the delivery had never kissed before back in my ladhood, was afraid and I didn't want to impose so she just left. I think I can trace it back to that. Afterwards, I was never able to kiss anyone, really. I always tried to build emotional relationships rather than physical, but that physical glue works wonders on the ladies, I've found, I just can never seem to apply it, and I don't know why. It's so irrational, and I'm rambling, but it's something that, to the very core of my being, I am absolutely and positively terrified about. It doesn't help that I went to an all guys school and had no social skills when I was younger.

Please help?

You did just fine last night....

>.>
<.<

Kissing is fun.

Maybe you just need to loosen up a little. Booze?

If she wants you to kiss her, sack up and kiss her. Asking a girl for her "permission" to kiss you can work out too. The girl might think that's cute.

Set your Geo 4, or the Adjoin Flags to 7.

Golden. I haven't laughed like that for a while...

I think if you start to realize that girl's WANT you to invade their space when it's someone they like (i.e. you), you'll loosen up. People know how to send these messages out; when you know she's ready, you should be ready... if that makes sense.

grissy me old chum, whelly is correct, The best cure for lack of confidence, is realising british women are really loose and easy and are constantly looking for a nice kiss or shag (no offence to maeve on taht just generalising)

But i know what u mean about the history getting in the way,

After that lesbian b**** from hell who told me she loved me, I couldnt go near another woman for 6 months, and didnt kiss for 9, and even then i was scared,

But then I found a new girl (albeit a bi sexual untrust worthy cheerleader) and after 5 minutes of sticking my tongue down her throat, i realised its great.

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

I'm sure your girlfriend's going to love reading this, Ruthy.

Yikes. Gee, now I really can't wait until I first kiss someone!

Zell, aren't you like... 14? You'll understand when you're older

15. And I understand how it's good, but I don't really want to do it the way Ruthy does it. I'm fine with a simple kiss, thankyewverymuch.

Your at the age where you get random erections in math class and you don't know why.

...

:banned:

Oh, I know why.

I know all about sex, people!

No, it's because you freaking love math....Pig!

Grismath, at least your emo rants are well-written... that's a good part of what makes blog-esque posts annoying.

I don't really have any advice to offer, though, so sorry this post is more or less useless. Personally I think it's better for a guy to be tentative and shy rather than a self-assured manpimp who's necking every other girl he sees, but whatever. I know you don't see it that way because we're our own worst critics and all that fun stuff.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]No, it's because you freaking love math....Pig![/QUOTE]

Haha! You had me fooled there. Crazy man.

yeah, Ruth, I don't think I've ever kissed a chick without it being tongue, and I've never met a cheerleader I've never hit on, but in all those kissing situations, someone was under the influence of something or it had been waaaay drawn out. (i.e. we were in bed for like an hour)

I feel like because I haven't been more assertive with some of these girls that I'm quickly sliding into the dreaded FRIEND ZONE. :O And yet I feel compelled to set up another exciting date to build up to a kissable moment... which I'll probably miss once again. Gah.

And talking about this stuff with girls is just as bad. I pretend like it never happened, or like it's some bad thing we had done that's best forgotten. "you know... that, uh, thing we did the other... evening? we should, um, do it again sometime..."

What I find REALLY turns a girl on when kissing is if it's a gentle kiss, but you tease her with your tongue and don't fully go ahead and probe her mouth. Hell, it gets me riled up even talking about it.


Make their Knees buckle.


Oh and.. If you're bad at or afraid about kissing, you've got a lot more complications waiting for you when you eventually make the southern journey. It gets a little more ah..tricky.

Yeah, but at that point I'm assuming mad chemistry takes over and I'd go on some manner of autopilot. Anyway, that's the least of my problem.

So.... should I just set up some sort of make up make out date? argh, I really hope I don't just chuck it again, it's become almost habitual to expect that I won't be able to go in for the kill.

Okay the past three threads I've read, had the words 'testicles' 'balls' 'cock up' 'teabag' 'pearl necklace' 'facial' and now 'the southern journey'. These forums are crazy I tell ya!

<3

Or else a total loser... one of the two.

If she's not 14 years old and/or doesn't have the mentality of a 14 year old, she shouldn't really. Mature girls realize the shortcomings some men have in relationships.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]No, it's because you freaking love math....Pig![/QUOTE]

Okay, that was unnecessarily mean, but it was funny. Laugh out loud funny.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort] 'pearl necklace' [/QUOTE] what is that? o.o *kina scared*

I don't want to be the one to tell her.

Someone else?

It's not what it is, it's what you do with it. Heh.

UrbanDictionary.com, for all your word-defining needs. I looked up "pearl necklace", and yeah, it ain't pretty.

BTW, I don't suggest you click that link. If you do, please note that there is bad language and extremely... graphic... descriptions therein.

Ah, UrbanDictionary. Constantly adding entries to the list of words I didn't want to know about.

Sigh... There's another one.

[QUOTE=Victor Van Dort]No, it's because you freaking love math....Pig![/QUOTE]

Very happy smile time out loud laugh funny. But what? Does that happen to all you american kids?

:/
>.<

ugh... this is ridiculous. Chicks put an astonishing amount of weight on the first kiss. Get it right and they follow you around and call you all the time. Get it wrong or miss the cue and they don't want to be associated with you anymore.



I went to this concert with a girl and she was being uberflirtacious on the way back and she extended my letting her off at her dorm and whatnot and gave me the look... and yet I, in my infinite wisdom, realized that I would not, nay, could not kiss her goodnight. I made a bunch of excuses in my head, and when she said goodnight, I asked her to throw a bottle away for me and waved goodbye as I took the jog of shame back to my dorm.

I was really angry at myself later that night, and on the few occasions I've tried (perhaps a big clingily) to get in touch with this girl to hang out again, she's ignored or shrugged off the invitations. I decided to fold and try to learn a bit more and let her in on my dark secret phobia, and the following occurred:

Me: well, suffice it to say, I have always missed or messed first kisses goodnight and since people often put an astonishing amount of weight on them or the lack thereof, I've grown terrified of that ritual - the bottle was me realizing that the moment had passed and a little bit of me just not feeling like carrying stuff on the way back

Her: well, don't worry, I threw the bottle away for you

Her: I'm going to go eat a sandwich before my japanese class

Now I realize that in sharing myself there, I gave up, but yeesh, I guess she was pissed off. Oh well, I'm pissed off too, now. And pretty sad, because the girls who were on to me got to the kiss stage and then took path B to the 'not worth my time and emotional investment' stage, because I guess I'm slower than a slug.

I think the best thing that ever happened to me was this one time this girl said "Well, I'm just going to tell you I'm not good at making moves" then I went right in.

...that didn't help, and I don't know if I'll be able to make your concert, college seems to have changed the girl I had really wanted to meet down there for the far, far, worse.

Okay this isn't really my area but...that seems totally unnecessary. Did you actually say that? Couldn't you have just said that you wanted to kiss her but you were too shy? Like, tell her the simple truth, not "well suffice and astonishing I hate that ritual so the bottle threw away" or whatever the **** you said. I think simple would be better in a case like that.

Is she a sorostitute now?

Who knows, I don't really care. I've moved out of mopey depression and into the next stage: defensive apathy. Emon, you were so right, I really didn't need to add all those bells and whistles to my confession, in fact, they only distance the recipient, I just always have to translate into a sugarcoated version of whatever I'm thinking because I always think in that sort of higher diction. Anyway, screw her and her kind, I can do without them. I should focus within, on the self, before expanding so rapidly outward. I feel drained and funkified so I suppose I'll take a break from the life of a dependant socialite, justifying my existence with a superficial popularity, and instead better myself. Life doesn't seem to work too well under a system and the scientific method, but I can keep trying. Thinking while doing. Who knows what's right?

Yeah, I don't understand why people comment on Grismath's writing so often. It seems to me he overuses adjectives and adverbs. An eloquently placed adverb here and there is great, but not before every single verb. I find myself agreeing with Emon here. Blogs are annoying enough to read as it is, and now you want it to take twice as long to read?

And Freelancer plays the "cool outcast" sheep role once again.

Gris has a great writing style. Description is good, especially in the way he uses it and how he doesn't so much use it to impress as much as he does for actual effect.

I agree a little on the adverbs, though, I remember a gradeschool paper I wrote where all my teacher said was: "ADVERBS ADVERBS ADVERBS that's all I see! minus a gozillion" And I was all "yay! adverbs!" and the other kids were all "ad...whats?"