From the least stupid to the stupidest...



- Doing an april fools joke on april 2nd.

- Slipping twice during the same science presentation and pronouncing 'sclerotic' as 'erotic'.

- Accidently dropping a 3 inch long scorpion down my shirt.

- Waking up, going to school and realising that it's sunday in the middle of a christmas vacation.

- Spending an afternoon at a neighbours house because I lost my keys... Then later realising that my keys were in my right pants pocket, rather than the left.

- Waiting at the wrong bus stop for 50 minutes. Then taking the wrong bus and not realising it for another 30 minutes.

- Going to a subway to apply for a job. Buying a sandwich, and forgetting to apply.

and the grand champion...

- Walking out the wrong door after a job interview, sounding a very loud alarm throughout the store, and then running away.

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WAITER: Here’s your green salad, sir.
ANAKIN: What? You fool, I told you NO CROUTONS! Aaaaaaargh!

[This message has been edited by Flexor (edited May 27, 2004).]

What ever happened with that fire alarmed-job interview?

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

Damn Flex, you win.

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http://www.sporkaudio.com

Didn't get it. Can't say I'm surprised!

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WAITER: Here’s your green salad, sir.
ANAKIN: What? You fool, I told you NO CROUTONS! Aaaaaaargh!

I don't have to many embarassing moments. I'll think some up later. But I love to laugh at you guys

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Prowling out of the tundra, swinging a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Outlaw Torn! And he gives a gutteral bellow:

"I'm seriously going to hump you until you scream like a banshee!"

Humiliating things? There's lots of them, but I don't remember any.

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<landfish> FastGamerr > Satan

[This message has been edited by FastGamerr (edited May 27, 2004).]

I've repressed those memories.



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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

While watching a documentary in school about Swedish nazi parties during WW2, I started to sing along to the song the dudes in the film was singing (Friheten Leve).

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"For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries."
-Robert Jastrow

-Doing something for assembly in Middle Shcool, and having three people tell me my fly was open.

-Nearly tripping on a step at my confirmation. Somehow I just knew I was going to do something like that.

Those are the two big ones I can remember.

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"This thread is still alive? Someone should kill it."

Last night I was driving home from work. It's an hour and a half drive, and I was running low on gas. Knowing that I needed gas, I pulled into a gas station. In the parking lot there were two cops in their cars. In my moment of panic-stricken panic, I parked in a space instead of at the gas tanks. "What do you do in a situation like this?" you might ask. You don't pull out and move over to the pumps; nay, you march in the store, buy a soda, and march yourself back out again, hoping you have enough gas to make it to the next gas station that happens to be 3 towns over.

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Baby Mama's Drama

I don't get the situation. Are the cops looking for you or something?



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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The phrase "swallow your stash" was strangely missing from Zuly's above post...

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The Massassi-Map
There is no spoon.

[This message has been edited by Spork (edited May 27, 2004).]

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

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"This thread is still alive? Someone should kill it."

yeah.

Zully: was it Reefer or coke?



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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Putting things up your nose is bad.

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Baby Mama's Drama

Accidentally measured something in imperial units. :-(

... I think I would've had a heart attack if i ever dropped a scorpion down my shirt.. or anywhere on my body for that matter, I hate those critters.

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I'm walking towards dead end, and I'm walking all alone. Two steps ago I passed insanity - Aleksi Laiho

-Falling asleep during a test.

-Mocking Nazi marching and acting (as a joke) when I didn't know there was a German student behind me. (not saying all Germans are Nazis)

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Snail racing: (500 posts per line)

-------@%

The Massassi JO/JA Single Player contest info

I was at a concert and was talking about how one of the guys in the band was hot and you know how concerts are loud... but then all of the sudden the song just stopped and there was a 2 second gap between the ending and the clapping and I'm just sitting there saying "GOD Matt is Hot!" and I got looks, but it was more of everyone agreeing with me than the Ew. It also helps that 75% of the audience was female and also enthralled by the sexitude.

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free mp3 ~Jump - Young America

new album Between the Dim and the Dark available now

Woke up at 7 pm and ate breakfast (I took a nap).

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for(i = 0; i < 00; i = i + 1) Print("massassi is good");
PrintInt(i); //print the integer value of infinity

Took 20 minutes to turn on my computer because I forgot to press the button

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There is no signature

I once read an entire thread about people's most embarrassing moments.

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"Guns don't kill people, I kill people."

i installed aol on my new computer

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IMPORTANT NOTICE PLEASE READ

Employees dying on the job are faling to fall down. THIS PRACTICE MUST STOP as it becmes impossible to distinguish between death and the natural movement of he staf.

Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll.

I had to fart in the middle of church. I thought it would be silent...and right when the priest said something like "Now let us bow our heads in silence" I fart the loudedst fart ever..everyone is quiet so it echoes extremly loud. I can't help but turn red and laugh. I try to hold my laugh in, I snort making it even worse, then I just burst out laughing...oh jeese.

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OSC Empire | A.H.N.U.L.D.
[Jim7 PING reply]: 666secs

i'll try to get one tonight, a dance AND playing for graduation whhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Kroko> Massassi is like Nazi Germany online, only it's not in Germany.
|\|\|\|\|\|
<kak> WHY DO THESE RETARDS CONTINUALLY TRY LINUX?
<kak> IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL.

Somehow, I'd expect somethin like that from you

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My Life.

I'm not going to post my embarrasing moments, since pople i know in real life read/post here, but one of the guys on my tennis team had one. It is as follows:

We were playing a rival team, and we had almost finished throughly pounding them into the ground (all of our teams had won by at least 3 games per set), we were just waiting for our last singles player to finish, when one of our team member said, in a rather louder then normal voice, "Is this the worst team we're going to play?" Now, realize, tenis is a rather quiet game, especially when only one pair is playing. Every single member of thier team looked at him. It was rahter hilarious. luckly, we pounded them again the next time we played, so he didn't have to eat his words.

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"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]

[This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited May 27, 2004).]

haha i like that one the best.

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1337 suxx0rz

Council of 21

Need cheap web hosting? Well then lookie here!
http://www.out-post.net/index.php?action=hostingplans

No single event but recently my ablilty to succesfully navigate stairs has been lacking.

One of my friends back in school managed to do something really funny. Somehow he managed to delete his work from the network by pressing delete and enter at the same time...so he had to go to the administrator and get it restored from the backup... Then later on he was telling someone what happend.. instead of just telling them he showed them and managed to delete his work again.


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WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF PEANUT!
----@%

[This message has been edited by TheJkWhoSaysNi (edited May 27, 2004).]

I feel asleep and starting snoring during my AP Physics test.

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"I'd rather be hated for who I am rather than loved for who I pretend to be." -Janis Joplin

That ones my fav... I would loved to have seen that... go in with the intent of getting a job and walking out with nothing more then a sense of being less hungry as you were when you first went in...



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Inter arma silent leges

When I was 12-13, my family and I were returning home on the train from a day out. We had the unfortunate luck of being in the same carriage as a few dozen annoying noisy boy scouts.

Anyway, I needed to go to the toilet so went to the crappy cramped toilet in the carriage, did my business and went to go back out. Whoops, off breaks the door handle. I try to force it open but it's no use, I'm stuck. Eventually my folks come looking for me and I yell through the door that it's jammed....so they go get the conductor who somehow manages to get his hands on a sledgehammer.

As he smashs the door open with it, I try to get as far away from the door as possible, which is not easy in a train toilet. A few minutes later the door finally flies open and there standing outside is the conductor, my family and the whole group of boyscouts who'd been cheering him on and were now laughing at me huddled on the other side of the toilet away from the door.

Yeah I haven't been able to outdo that one quite yet.

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Cantina Cloud | BCF | The Massassian 1, 2 & 3 | Gonkmeg
Corrupting the kiddies since '97

Heheh, this one sucked bawls.

I was eating lunch in the school cafeteria, with a few friends. One of my buds got up and left to get something from his locker, so I took this moment to spill some milk on his chair on purpose. A few minutes went by and he didn't return, so I got up to go see where he was. I couldn't find him, so I headed back to my table. He was sitting in my chair, and, sadly, I had forgotton about the milk on the other chair. So, I went to sit down on the milk drenched chair... wearing black pants.

All I can say is the following: PWNED!

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Titan A.E.

Don't get me started.

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There is no signature

Am I the only person here who's ever broken into a church?

-Yeah, I left my jacket there, and forced my way in through the doors, and discovered that my church has an alarm system.
Then, someone else got arrested for it.
But they didn't press charges.

-Also, there's nothing like having your zipper wide open while playing lead guitar on stage. I was pretty secsi!

Also, I'm reminded of a time when I was younger when a pastor's belt had come out of the loop of his pants, but was still under his shirt, so it looked like... well, figure it out.

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Genesis 22:2-5 - And God said unto Abraham "You must kill your son, Isaac." And Abraham said "What? I can't hear you! You'll have to speak into the microphone." And God said "Check, check, check, check. Jerry, can you pull the high end out. I'm getting some hiss up here."
"I'm not quiet: I just like to quote mute people."
^ My life story
Valuable Life Lesson: Frog + Potato Gun = Blindness
Catalog of Electronic Components - Complete IC data sheets
National Electrical Code® (NEC®) Online - Legal requirements for wiring projects.

[This message has been edited by DogSRoOL (edited May 27, 2004).]

[This message has been edited by DogSRoOL (edited May 27, 2004).]

Well.

So at my school I'm in a club called Botball (We build robots out of legos, program them, compete with other schools.)
Anyway, so it was the night before the competition, about 12:30, and we were just starting to seriously work on the bot. We decided we needed a camera that came with the set. So we go get it, and try to put it on... No workies. We realize it was the camera from last year, which was missing a peice.

I realize I saw it in a container.. that was in my physics teacher's room (he sponsors the team). So we all look at each other, smile, and get some paper and start pouring out all the security knowledge of the school we have.

So we finally come up with a plan to slide open the window of the room, push one guy's girlfriend up through it who was there (she's small) and then she has my flashlight and she goes in, grabs the camera, gets out, and then we haul a**.

So we all get in the car, and drive up to the school. It turns out that there was a calculus club sleepover, and the guy driving (who only had a provisional liscense, so he couldn't legally drive then) was in calculus! But the teacher couldn't let us into the part of the building we needed to get to, so we pretend to leave, then we drive around the school, and slide out of the car. (Note- the school has silent-alarm motion detectors, I've heard stories about people getting caught by them, so we had to go directly in through the window, as opposed to through the hallway. We also weren't sure if there was one in his room.. so we had to be FAST.)

So the girl gets pushed into the room, and then comes running to the window about 30 seconds later, and then we help her climb out, and then HAUL. A**. out of there. As we approach the car, it was locked.. and we didnt' know it.. so we tried to open the door.. and the car alarm went off.

A beautiful end, to an awesome evening.

Oh yeah. The ironic part is we didn't even endup having to use the camera.

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[16:38] Correction: dick tracy was a real man
[16:38] happydud: Actually...
[16:38] happydud: He wasn't.
[16:38] happydud: hehe..

Hehe. Another embarassing moment was when a kid threw an unopened condom at me, and the teacher just saw me with it, and made me bring it up to his desk.

Also I once called my teacher mom. That's actually happened more then once.

PG-13 WARNING

Just a week or so ago, I was talling a joke to someone on AIM. The end of the joke was "She can give head and sing opera at the same time" Well for some reason I had that copied. My mom also had something copied..so she hit ctrl+v and that quote poped up. She was...surprised to say the least.

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OSC Empire | A.H.N.U.L.D.
[Jim7 PING reply]: 666secs

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited May 27, 2004).]

Tonight was my last night at ITT. I was suppose to stand in front of the class and discuss a network proposal . . . After I got up there, and the PPT started, I completely forgot what I was suppose to talk about. It was terrible.


Apparently Im not a very good public speaker.

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I used to believe that we must fight the future, lest change come without our consent. I was wrong. The truth is that we must embrace the future, for only with change can we remain the same.
:wq

When I was 15, I was at an art exibition with the graphics classes from my school. There were several other schools there, too. One of which was a very large private school. As a dare, I walked up to one of the students from the private school (who just happened to be an English fellow) and insisted he eat one of my jelly beans. I opened with "Lovely peice, eh? ... Care for a jelly bean? No? No really, I insist. Have a jelly bean. No, really, have a jelly bean." Unfortuantely he declined, and looked rather worried, too. Poor guy.


And a few weeks earlier, I was at a big talent competition thing, doing backstage work for my schools performance. Well, there were a group of my schools dancers talking with each other. They were sort of standing in a circle. Well, me and and buddy of mine had this killer idea to re-enact the scene in American Pie, where Jim walks up to Nadia at the party and starts laughing with the girls and makes a fool of himself.
So, me and my buddy sort of stroll around the girls, waiting for them to laugh at something. Just as they do, we move into an opening in their circle, and just being laughing with them. They all suddenly stop and look at us in silence. We laughed some more, then giggled a bit, then just sort of stood there. A few moments passed, then we said "Seeya later.." and walked off. A few of the girls laughed, and most of them just had that "WTF?!" look on their face. Priceless, to say the least.

Good times.

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«»The Scratchware Manifesto
-¬thoughts from beyond observance

haahh, You guys are great.

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"Whats your name"
Cody
"No, whats your real name"
Arkon............
Proud member of the Co-op