I know I should be googling this for advice, but I wanted to get your guys' [usually humorous] responses.

I've been dating this girl for 6-7 months now and I really love her. As of yesterday we've sort-of started talking about sex and how soon we should do it. I have my boundaries, and I'm not gonna jump into something I'm not ready for. This is, afterall, my first relationship, and I don't want to ruin it (though I'm not sure how that's possible). I'm not sure if I'm really ready for the kind of commitment having sex would bring, and it feels really wierd with this big of a decision on my shoulders. Part of me, the part I hardly ever obey, is saying "Dude, WTF are you waiting for? **** her already!", yet my other side, which I trust, is pulling me to be cautious. Don't get me wrong, this girl of mine is one sexy beast, and at times I have the urge to just undress her right there. But the truth is, she and I haven't gotten past the kissing and feeling stage.
I love her so much, and I'm afraid to hurt her in any way. I know she wants sex. But I'm hesitant...like, when we're making out I feel her boobs and stuff but when I reach down to touch...well, you know where, I catch myself and stop before I get too far. For some reason I don't want to leave this stage innocence. But at the same time I want to go to the next level. And to top it off, I'm doing a pretty crappy-*** job of communicating my feelings to my girlfriend.
I guess it's normal for me to feel these two-sided emotions when faced with the idea of sex. I want it, but I want to go slow, but I want to go fast...ughh. I know what you're all gonna say. Tell her everything I just told you. I think I will.

pix

You'd like that, wouldn't you? :p

I think we need to know how old you are... or maybe that's just me, out of curiosity. Also, you're probably going to want to ignore most of the comments on this thread...

Why would you want to go slowly? You love her, so just "prove" it to her already. Have fun and quit making such a huge deal out of it.

With that attitude towards having sex, you'll end up throwing her into a wall.

You're a virgin, right?

What are you waiting for? Stop screwing around and fill her out like a job application.

hahah


i can see it now as he's reaching down.. with his hand.. he feels a sudden bulge. :em321:

Fixed.

You need to decide for yourself what you feel comfortable with. Yes, this will require introspective criticism. God forbid.

7 months? That's an extensive foreplay.

How old are you? If you really do love her then go for it i think. And yea talk to her about it


Btw your post just made me laugh lots at parts, the way you put it

6-7 months isn't fast, by any means. With my current GF, it just happened, very naturally, about a month after we started going out. I suggest you talk to her and let her know how you feel. Too long, and she might start thinking it's something she is/isn't doing right, and you don't want to let that happen.

it's going to have to be something you decide for yourself. if you're unsure about it, don't jump into it just because everyone else is saying "DO HER NOW DO HER NOW LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ". never do something that you're not sure about just because people pressure you into doing it. it's your own life, and your own free will. don't let other people screw around with it.

do her now lolz

I'm thinking... that sex is something you'd want to be pretty sure about before you jump into it. If you aren't completely sure it's what you want, you might end up making a decision you regret in the future.

But then again, sex does sound like fun. I'd go for it, but that's just me.

is she on the pill, do you have condoms?

if the answer to either of these questions is yes then...

just kidding,

i will say that not untill you feel comfortable touching her then no you shouldent.
that said: talking abtou it is key, but since your already talking about it with her, then good. however, you should definatlly try and explain to her what you feel about it, and why so that she's not just guessing what your thinking about it, or why you've been acting the way you do.

anyway, dont feel pressored into anything you dont want to do. And she's not the only fish in the sea.

This is why I don't have a girlfriend. Heh.

HAHAHAH this thread makes Ruthven laugh...


"I touched boobies etc etc"

As for Elena's comments, she's a good girl, and therefore her statment is only 50% truthful, cos there are lots of BAD girls out there.

But they're easier you just bang em till they cry. erm


ok here's my serious comment for Delphian:

If you dont do the dirty, you risk loosing her, i say risk, cos some girls want sex enough to go elsewhere if they cant find a bf to lay em down and show them heaven.
You're a man, a human being, that over-ripe organ in your head is just confusing you, listen to your gut, and more importantly, your WANG.

And if you DO give her one...

Hold her close during intercourse, like tightly hugging sort a thing, for 1st timers it needs to be more special, though usually its awful the 1st time. [/B][/SIZE]

Hope that helped

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

The master has spoken.

make it too 'special' and she'll never let you go. and you may not want that.

tehee.

"A bag of sand? Come on man, you can do better than that!"

Ok. This is where I come in and trounce everyone with sage advice. *ahem*

First and foremost, we're all still waiting to know how old you are. The rules change based on your age regardless of how important you think that is. That said, the following are the rules / guidelines:

<14 - Play it safe and just say no. You're far to young to care about this at this point in your life, and if your girl is putting the heat on (and is around the same age*), then you're in a heap of trouble. Girls that are younger than 14 who are already desiring sex throw up the red flag. She's coming from a broken home and wants attention in a "special" way. Her life without you sucks, and you've shown her something good. DON'T BE A HERO! You'll end up hurt and bitter in the end, because eventually her relationship with you will sour and you'll be the bad guy.

14><18 - These are the years when experimentation begin, and it's a REALLY tough time to make this choice. On one hand, you should probably experience all that life has to offer. Missed opportunities usually come back to bite you in the *** when you think, "what if?". However, the same still applies to her rules. If she's around the same age as you* and she's pressing hard for you to fufill her needs, then she's probably got some reasoning behind that. It should be a mutualistic decision. I would recommend meeting her folks and spending some time with them before you decide on this. Make sure you're not boffing a nutjob, it's the worst thing you could possibly do. I know this from experience.

18+ - You're a man. Do what feels good for you. At this point you're pretty much going to be with a mature enough girl / woman to understand that there are real risks and responsibilities that come with your actions. Your life is your business and you really should take what opportunities seem right. If you really love this girl, and you know she's not a head case then at this point in your life you start thinking about the dreaded M word. Not yet! But keep things good and you might end up only being with this girl. I wouldn't bank on it, but it's a possibility. Keep your wits about you.

*- Remember me?! I'm the asteriks from the first 2 age groups! If your girl is alot (read 2+ years) younger than you, then you're nuts and should probably start considering getting the hell out of that relationship as soon as you can. However, if she's a lot (read 2+ years) older than you the situations change. In the <14 group, you need to tell an adult. Seriously. That's gross. In the 14><18 range, you've nabbed an older girl. Good on you. I really hope for your sake that she's not a nut job, but she probably is.

Most importantly, good luck.

I love this thread.

Me too Oxy. Me too. <3

I'm 16, my girlfriend is 15. And I talked to her about it, turns out I kind of misunderstood. She's not quite ready. That said, thanks for all your comments folks!

Just pay attention to what you said...
Ergo, you aren't ready.

i dont know what any of you are fretting about, especially yecti, its only a shag, get it over with, nowt special, loads of people do it.

The problem with your logic is that most of the populus isn't psychologically geared towards such a sociopathic outlook on sex. We're programmed to look at sex as a special event.

Having been with multiple partners I still subscribe to this mentality. Previous attempts were mistakes, and are regrettable.

<3 Ruthy

this thread is so timely

Does -no one- believe in sex after marriage these days?

I believe in sex after marriage. Just so happens that I also believe in sex before marriage.

If adequate protection is used, I don't really see the need to wait, really.

Maybe you should listen to that part of you more often.

He's 16, he shouldn't be having sex yet, and since she's 15 he should avoid it even more.

That's you're opinion. It's not fact. Once I heard, in some article in a magazine i was reading at my moms work that the average person is not mentally capable of handling post-sex emotions until they're 16 or something.

Of course its my opinion, does that really have to be said?