I've since changed my stance on this.
Wow. So there's this girl who I've known for about a year, right? She's one of those people who everyone pretty much dislikes because she very plainly assumes she's above everyone else. Even she would admit as much. She's cocky, and agressive with people. Furthermore, she really hated my girlfriend before she and I ever met. Before I was even dating her. WE became really close friends, but then she got a boyfriend that made her fade away. Suddenly, she PMs me on AIM after a sort of falling out.
For those of you without imaginations, the word in question starts with a C, and is a slang for the female genitalia.
She tells a handful of her friends that I’m a disrespectful ******* and they end up arguing with my girlfriend and disliking me greatly, based only upon this discussion. She had only told them that I CALLED her a **** and that I used it just to spite her.
Somewhat annoyed, I try to make peace by explaining that I would have completely respected her by not using the term, I had only tried to discuss it with her before, simply because that's the kind of people we USED to be. I thought I could apologize for offending her, and maybe clear my name in the argument that I was only discussing the science of it, not attempting to offend her. Instead...
People give far too much power to words said without any connotation intented. WHY you would empower someone at all confuses me. If my enemy hung a red and green flag in their territory, what good does it do to be offended by those colors? It's stupid, and amazingly shallow. Sure, the term '****' isn't at all appealing. I never said it was. It just wasn't intended as an attack, and to make such a gigantic deal out of it is beyond me.
Discuss.
Wow. So there's this girl who I've known for about a year, right? She's one of those people who everyone pretty much dislikes because she very plainly assumes she's above everyone else. Even she would admit as much. She's cocky, and agressive with people. Furthermore, she really hated my girlfriend before she and I ever met. Before I was even dating her. WE became really close friends, but then she got a boyfriend that made her fade away. Suddenly, she PMs me on AIM after a sort of falling out.
For those of you without imaginations, the word in question starts with a C, and is a slang for the female genitalia.
Quote:
Girl: My pussy is emo.
Girl: it bleeds
BSG: Ew
Girl: lmao
BSG: I'm going to kick you in the ****.
Girl: hey now
Girl: no c words for me please
Girl: 'tis offensive
BSG: psh
BSG: Many things are offensive.
Girl: so please refrain from saying them
BSG: OR refrain from being offended.
BSG: I see it both ways.
BSG: And dealing with what people say makes far more sense than everyone else conforming to you, doesn't it?
Girl: Two words:
Girl: Common Courtesy.
Girl: +one more:
Girl: respect.
Girl: adhere to it
BSG: Using the word "****" is far from disrespect.
BSG: And I refuse to change my vocabulary for anyone else. Especially when my vocabulary contains no connotations.
BSG: "****" was never a phrase used against an entire race under slavery.
Girl: what is considered disrespect is relative
BSG: Exactly.
Girl: and depends on the person
Girl: so, if I ask you to please not refer to my vagina as a ****, then respect my asking and don't, you deformed, semi-evolved gorilla.
BSG: OR don't PM me after not talking to me for 3 months only to ***** about your vagina bleeding, and then continuing to ***** about terms I use merely because you're PMSing.
Girl: and you haven't talked to me for three months
Girl: and the bleeding thing was a joke
Girl: i'm far from PMSing. My last period was ten days ago.
Girl: it bleeds
BSG: Ew
Girl: lmao
BSG: I'm going to kick you in the ****.
Girl: hey now
Girl: no c words for me please
Girl: 'tis offensive
BSG: psh
BSG: Many things are offensive.
Girl: so please refrain from saying them
BSG: OR refrain from being offended.
BSG: I see it both ways.
BSG: And dealing with what people say makes far more sense than everyone else conforming to you, doesn't it?
Girl: Two words:
Girl: Common Courtesy.
Girl: +one more:
Girl: respect.
Girl: adhere to it
BSG: Using the word "****" is far from disrespect.
BSG: And I refuse to change my vocabulary for anyone else. Especially when my vocabulary contains no connotations.
BSG: "****" was never a phrase used against an entire race under slavery.
Girl: what is considered disrespect is relative
BSG: Exactly.
Girl: and depends on the person
Girl: so, if I ask you to please not refer to my vagina as a ****, then respect my asking and don't, you deformed, semi-evolved gorilla.
BSG: OR don't PM me after not talking to me for 3 months only to ***** about your vagina bleeding, and then continuing to ***** about terms I use merely because you're PMSing.
Girl: and you haven't talked to me for three months
Girl: and the bleeding thing was a joke
Girl: i'm far from PMSing. My last period was ten days ago.
She tells a handful of her friends that I’m a disrespectful ******* and they end up arguing with my girlfriend and disliking me greatly, based only upon this discussion. She had only told them that I CALLED her a **** and that I used it just to spite her.
Somewhat annoyed, I try to make peace by explaining that I would have completely respected her by not using the term, I had only tried to discuss it with her before, simply because that's the kind of people we USED to be. I thought I could apologize for offending her, and maybe clear my name in the argument that I was only discussing the science of it, not attempting to offend her. Instead...
Quote:
BSG: Dear
Girl: yes?
BSG: I can understand that you assign a gigantic overtone to a silly word like ****
Girl: the thing is, i'm so hypocritical about it
Girl: I use it like, ten times a day
BSG: But it's very unappreciated that an entire group of people whom I've never met have an assumption about my moral standings before I've ever even met them.
Girl: oh
BSG: I'm not really angry or anything at all
Girl: my friends?
BSG: I just sort of "hmphed" about that
Girl: well, I don't appreciate people using that word when they talk to me, it's a respect issue, and if you are not willing to give me the respect I deserve, than that does reflect poorly on your morals
BSG: I like to argue my own standpoints. I don't care what people think of me, but I'd like them to dislike what I think, not disagree with something secondhand. Granted, it says something about them to judge immediately.
BSG: Regardless, that's YOUR opinion. In my opinion, someone could use a term I don't like in front of me, and I won't care. I don't see it as a disrespect. There's no way we can live life appeasing other's personal levels of comfort by muting our regular opinions.
Girl: especially when, instead of simply apologizing to me, you decided to make it an issue, a point of debate. Which is fine, I don't care. I will stay here all night and argue with you.. in the year 2015 when I don't have a bazillion things to do, but I did tell my friend about it because I was offended,
Girl: well brandon, the term offends me. I respect your opinion, and I would appreciate it if you would respect mine.
BSG: I don't apologize for being me. I'm sorry you take offense, and I probably wouldn't use it in front of you, but **** is the least offensive word there is. You give the term power by shielding yourself from it.
BSG: Put it this way, all of the offense in the word was YOUR doing. Not mine.
BSG: Who owns the problem?
BSG: I'd totally understand were I using the term in an offensive tense.
BSG: To me, **** is a word for the vagina.
Girl: which can be twisted into a derogatory term
BSG: By people looking for a derogatory meaning, or by someone intending it so.
Girl: just like nigger, dick, ******, midget, cripple, etc.
BSG: Exactly.
Girl: and i do not like being referred to in a derogatory manner
BSG: The word is only as powerful as the person twisting it makes it.
BSG: I NEVER referred to you as a ****.
BSG: I checked the logs to make sure.
BSG: I was talking about your vagina itself.
Girl: well then please
BSG: However, that doesn't mean I'm above calling someone a ****.
Girl: call it my vagina
Girl: vagina, pussy, snatch, whatever
BSG: Why does the term offend you?
Girl: I don't care
Girl: I am sensitive only to the word ****. It's an abuse word for me Brandon. Please respect that. I'm not willing right now to discuss the philosophy behind words, and I apologise for making you look badly in the faces of my friends, I wish only that you refrain from using the word "****" in front of my in the future.
Girl: Goodnight to you.
BSG: "****" is a play-on word from "Scabbard" in old English. It's NEVER been a derogatory term, only slang. That'd be like becoming offended by the term "phat."
BSG: YOU empowered the word, not me.
BSG: And being offended is YOUR problem, not mine.
BSG: I won't use it in front of you
Girl: ok, then I suggest you not talk to me any more, if you will use words that offend me
BSG: Because I am a person of respect.
Girl: I am too
Girl: I respect others, and expect to be treated in the same manner
Girl: but that is not the case here
BSG: But the point I'm trying to make is that you're the one making the word
BSG: NOT me
Girl: ok. I agree.
Girl: thank you.
BSG: Well, my point isn't over. The point is that, when you talk to your friends about it, you're obviously not going to argue my side of it
BSG: So now there's a handful of people that think I'm this immoral person who tosses aside respect and does whatever he wants.
BSG: If you read the log of that discussion, I said the SAME thing as I am now. I just wanted to discuss the reasoning in it, and the silliness in the offense of the matter.
Girl: that is what you appear to be, yes.
BSG: ****, no. Listen.
BSG: I was only discussing the concept of offense to the term
Girl: no. I am busy, you are a hubris ***, and I must say, exactly like your girlfriend. Which, is why we are not going to get along any longer.
BSG: You turned a philosophical debate into a reflection of my morals.
BSG: Which doesn't bode well with me.
BSG: Especially when these people don't even know me.
Girl: I don't want a debate
BSG: I KNOW you don't.
Girl: I want to you quit talking to me
BSG: Holy ****, Girl. Didn't you just claim morals?
BSG: You're being ignorant, and inconsiderate of the possibility that I was taken the wrong way.
Girl: Please. Why do people always talk to me when i'm in the worst mood?
Girl: This always happens!
BSG: I didn't MEAN to come off as intentionally offensive!
BSG: I wanted a discussion, you didn't.
Girl: Ok. So get off your high-horse and SHUT THE **** UP!!!
BSG: Holy **** Girl!
BSG: You're being a gigantic ***** right now. I'm only trying to show you that I wanted to discuss the concept of the matter. IN context.
BSG: In all practicality, I avoid hurtful words that piss people off.
BSG: Even if I don't understand why.
BSG: I thought you would have been a smart person to discuss it with.
BSG: THAT'S all.
BSG: Instead you blow EVERYTHING out of proportion, make me look like a mega-******* to people who I don't even know, and STILL refuse to even DISCUSS the matter on a non-defensive level.
BSG: I'm trying to REASON with you. Trying to APOLOGIZE. I'm not trying to ANTAGONIZE you.
BSG: A time ago, you used to be perfectly rational to things like this, and I found you one of the most intellectual people I knew.
Girl: You are either contradicting yourself, or not being clear enough in your argument. I have things to do. I'm not your **** to just order around in a one-sided philosophical debate whenever you ****ing want
BSG: *head explodes*
Girl: I am in a bad mood, have had a very bad month.
BSG: You're always in a goddamn bad mood.
BSG: It's impossible to have a normal conversation with you without offending you, or making you defensive.
Girl: I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED A **** AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! ASK ME ABOUT MY DAY! MY LIFE! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE! i DON'T WANT TO GET IN A ****ING DEBATE WITH YOU ABOUT THE MEANING OF ONE ****ING LITTLE WORD!
BSG: Maybe some of us don't like to have to choose their words? Maybe some of us thought you were better than to use your misfortunes as an excuse for an entire friendship to fall.
Girl: ****! YOU!
Girl: AHHH!!!!
*** "Girl" signed off at Mon Mar 20 19:46:49 2006.
Girl: yes?
BSG: I can understand that you assign a gigantic overtone to a silly word like ****
Girl: the thing is, i'm so hypocritical about it
Girl: I use it like, ten times a day
BSG: But it's very unappreciated that an entire group of people whom I've never met have an assumption about my moral standings before I've ever even met them.
Girl: oh
BSG: I'm not really angry or anything at all
Girl: my friends?
BSG: I just sort of "hmphed" about that
Girl: well, I don't appreciate people using that word when they talk to me, it's a respect issue, and if you are not willing to give me the respect I deserve, than that does reflect poorly on your morals
BSG: I like to argue my own standpoints. I don't care what people think of me, but I'd like them to dislike what I think, not disagree with something secondhand. Granted, it says something about them to judge immediately.
BSG: Regardless, that's YOUR opinion. In my opinion, someone could use a term I don't like in front of me, and I won't care. I don't see it as a disrespect. There's no way we can live life appeasing other's personal levels of comfort by muting our regular opinions.
Girl: especially when, instead of simply apologizing to me, you decided to make it an issue, a point of debate. Which is fine, I don't care. I will stay here all night and argue with you.. in the year 2015 when I don't have a bazillion things to do, but I did tell my friend about it because I was offended,
Girl: well brandon, the term offends me. I respect your opinion, and I would appreciate it if you would respect mine.
BSG: I don't apologize for being me. I'm sorry you take offense, and I probably wouldn't use it in front of you, but **** is the least offensive word there is. You give the term power by shielding yourself from it.
BSG: Put it this way, all of the offense in the word was YOUR doing. Not mine.
BSG: Who owns the problem?
BSG: I'd totally understand were I using the term in an offensive tense.
BSG: To me, **** is a word for the vagina.
Girl: which can be twisted into a derogatory term
BSG: By people looking for a derogatory meaning, or by someone intending it so.
Girl: just like nigger, dick, ******, midget, cripple, etc.
BSG: Exactly.
Girl: and i do not like being referred to in a derogatory manner
BSG: The word is only as powerful as the person twisting it makes it.
BSG: I NEVER referred to you as a ****.
BSG: I checked the logs to make sure.
BSG: I was talking about your vagina itself.
Girl: well then please
BSG: However, that doesn't mean I'm above calling someone a ****.
Girl: call it my vagina
Girl: vagina, pussy, snatch, whatever
BSG: Why does the term offend you?
Girl: I don't care
Girl: I am sensitive only to the word ****. It's an abuse word for me Brandon. Please respect that. I'm not willing right now to discuss the philosophy behind words, and I apologise for making you look badly in the faces of my friends, I wish only that you refrain from using the word "****" in front of my in the future.
Girl: Goodnight to you.
BSG: "****" is a play-on word from "Scabbard" in old English. It's NEVER been a derogatory term, only slang. That'd be like becoming offended by the term "phat."
BSG: YOU empowered the word, not me.
BSG: And being offended is YOUR problem, not mine.
BSG: I won't use it in front of you
Girl: ok, then I suggest you not talk to me any more, if you will use words that offend me
BSG: Because I am a person of respect.
Girl: I am too
Girl: I respect others, and expect to be treated in the same manner
Girl: but that is not the case here
BSG: But the point I'm trying to make is that you're the one making the word
BSG: NOT me
Girl: ok. I agree.
Girl: thank you.
BSG: Well, my point isn't over. The point is that, when you talk to your friends about it, you're obviously not going to argue my side of it
BSG: So now there's a handful of people that think I'm this immoral person who tosses aside respect and does whatever he wants.
BSG: If you read the log of that discussion, I said the SAME thing as I am now. I just wanted to discuss the reasoning in it, and the silliness in the offense of the matter.
Girl: that is what you appear to be, yes.
BSG: ****, no. Listen.
BSG: I was only discussing the concept of offense to the term
Girl: no. I am busy, you are a hubris ***, and I must say, exactly like your girlfriend. Which, is why we are not going to get along any longer.
BSG: You turned a philosophical debate into a reflection of my morals.
BSG: Which doesn't bode well with me.
BSG: Especially when these people don't even know me.
Girl: I don't want a debate
BSG: I KNOW you don't.
Girl: I want to you quit talking to me
BSG: Holy ****, Girl. Didn't you just claim morals?
BSG: You're being ignorant, and inconsiderate of the possibility that I was taken the wrong way.
Girl: Please. Why do people always talk to me when i'm in the worst mood?
Girl: This always happens!
BSG: I didn't MEAN to come off as intentionally offensive!
BSG: I wanted a discussion, you didn't.
Girl: Ok. So get off your high-horse and SHUT THE **** UP!!!
BSG: Holy **** Girl!
BSG: You're being a gigantic ***** right now. I'm only trying to show you that I wanted to discuss the concept of the matter. IN context.
BSG: In all practicality, I avoid hurtful words that piss people off.
BSG: Even if I don't understand why.
BSG: I thought you would have been a smart person to discuss it with.
BSG: THAT'S all.
BSG: Instead you blow EVERYTHING out of proportion, make me look like a mega-******* to people who I don't even know, and STILL refuse to even DISCUSS the matter on a non-defensive level.
BSG: I'm trying to REASON with you. Trying to APOLOGIZE. I'm not trying to ANTAGONIZE you.
BSG: A time ago, you used to be perfectly rational to things like this, and I found you one of the most intellectual people I knew.
Girl: You are either contradicting yourself, or not being clear enough in your argument. I have things to do. I'm not your **** to just order around in a one-sided philosophical debate whenever you ****ing want
BSG: *head explodes*
Girl: I am in a bad mood, have had a very bad month.
BSG: You're always in a goddamn bad mood.
BSG: It's impossible to have a normal conversation with you without offending you, or making you defensive.
Girl: I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED A **** AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! ASK ME ABOUT MY DAY! MY LIFE! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE! i DON'T WANT TO GET IN A ****ING DEBATE WITH YOU ABOUT THE MEANING OF ONE ****ING LITTLE WORD!
BSG: Maybe some of us don't like to have to choose their words? Maybe some of us thought you were better than to use your misfortunes as an excuse for an entire friendship to fall.
Girl: ****! YOU!
Girl: AHHH!!!!
*** "Girl" signed off at Mon Mar 20 19:46:49 2006.
People give far too much power to words said without any connotation intented. WHY you would empower someone at all confuses me. If my enemy hung a red and green flag in their territory, what good does it do to be offended by those colors? It's stupid, and amazingly shallow. Sure, the term '****' isn't at all appealing. I never said it was. It just wasn't intended as an attack, and to make such a gigantic deal out of it is beyond me.
Discuss.
ᵗʰᵉᵇˢᵍ๒ᵍᵐᵃᶥᶫ∙ᶜᵒᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
ᴸᶥᵛᵉ ᴼᵑ ᴬᵈᵃᵐ
Originally Posted by Chaz Ghostle
