I've gotten myself into a difficult situation.

Recently, this girl whom I have found attractive and I started flirting and the like. We found very similar interests in each other, and feelings grew.

She has a boyfriend.

Not the worst part, though. Saturday, she came over to my apartment, ostensibly to do homework, as she was failing one of her classes that I happen to have a decent amount of knowledge about. It definitely didn't happen that way, though. First, we went out and bought a tonne of Chinese food, and then we climbed in my bed and watched The Phantom of the Opera and Under the Tuscan Sun. Halfway through the second one she fell asleep, so I went around my apartment, shut off all the lights, and climbed back into bed; attempting to fall asleep. However, sleep wouldn't come, so I began doing something I do when I need to work through a problem: I monologued. I spoke of many things involving her and the current situation, and made some admissions to myself.

Then I realised that the Chinese food was still sitting out. So I got up, put it all away, and then went to the bathroom. Upon returning, I noticed that the way she moved when I got in bed wasn't characteristic of someone who was asleep. I confronted her with it, and she admitted that she wasn't, and had heard everything. D'oh. Then she told me that she had prayed for guidence whilst I was in the bathroom, for she knew not what to do. Well, shortly after this, our flirting began to intensify to include a lot of touching, and she ended up getting so turned on that she... Uh... Started to have some fun with her bad self. I few seconds later, I took over for her, and she moved to me.

However, the instant we kissed, it all came back to reality. She had a boyfriend.

We stopped. Now what? Well, we ended up having a pretty poor rest of the night. We went for a long walk, wherein she gashed her foot open on a piece of glass because she was wearing flip-flops. We eventually got to sleep at about 5:30 that morning.

She left at 11:30, the homework never started. She promised that she would continue to talk to me before she left. At this point, my feelings for her were pretty strong -- and given the way she acted toward me, I would guess that hers were just as strong, too.

It was interesting, because holding her was like holding an extension of myself. She was the most comfortable person I'd ever held, bar none. Moreso than even my mother. Hell, at several specific points during the night, our heartbeats were running in synch -- something neither of us had felt before. She also clicked with me on an intellectual level -- not only was she beautiful, but she was a geek, too. Stargate: SG1 and Stargate: Atlantis, FarScape, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Wars... These were all things she loved.

But now... She decided to do the right thing. I applaud her for it, honestly. She told her boyfriend, and cut off all contact with me. Completely. She's also decided never to put herself in that kind of situation again -- which, in all honesty, makes me respect her far more than anything else she could have done. If she hadn't done that, then the chance are that I would never see her as a viable girlfriend.

But now I hurt, and I don't know precisely what to do. I can't stop thinking, and she is fairly predominant in my thoughts. I've cried, a lot. Of course, I've went to all my friends for help, but there isn't much they can tell me. I already feel like **** for causing her to cheat on her boyfriend. I've already beaten myself up over it. And I know I have no right to miss her.

But I do.

God help me.

It's like you took a page from my journal if I wrote one :/

At least there was one moment/night though. Oh well.

/me puts on a silly hat

Let things be.

Everything that happens -- whether bad or good -- is an experiance. She betters herself by cutting all contact with you because she still loves her current boyfriend. For you, it's a learning experiance in which you don't kiss girls that already have boyfriends, because you're getting yourself in some deep ****. Physically or mentally, in your case, mentally.

So, what now? I suggest you let things be and move on. Don't become attatched towards a woman when things are still young.

For some reason, girls like it when they think you don't care about certain things. They find this (sometimes they call it pineing or somthing) unnattractive. But that doesn't relate here. All I'm saying is get into the pimp mindset and be cocky. There's plenty more of where that came from, and sometimes you'll find even better women than her!

Are you in highschool or collage?

Tuff man...

I'm afraid I'm lacking in the Pimp instinct. I always care -- which some girls do honestly find attractive; or so it seems. Some girls like the effeminate men, it seems.

This week has just been weird. Went to the hospital on Tuesday because my foot had been hurting for a week. Turned out it was broken, and now I hobble around like a fool. Then, last night, my friend Aija was feeling rather down, so she and I went for a drive, then went to my place to clean (?!). She's engaged, though. Anyways, she pulled some Adderall out, and gave me a pill -- snorting one for herself. After that, we cleaned until 1:00 AM. Fairly little happened, except for a constant stream of flirts and anti-flirts from her. 'Twas weird.

I know she's a liar, though. I can feel it -- which means my subconsious is picking up on signs. She lied when she said she doesn't do drugs anymore. She lied when she said she didn't lie to me. And she lied when she said she didn't cheat on her fiancee.

Somehow, my life is just getting weirder and weirder.

Oh, and college.

I'm twenty... My birthdate is listed right in my profile...

Aija sounds like a finnish name.

Not precisely sure where it comes from. I believe her parents were/are drug-using hippies, though.

I'm not saying to not care about women. Just pretend to not care.

Did you seen her boyfriend? Does he have something special that you can't offer?

Not something I've ever been able to pull off. I'm too sincere, methinks.

Not something I enjoy doing, either.

I should make it known that I don't like people that interefere with current relationships by making love triangles of doom.

Nor do I.

I've been cheated on more than once. It sucks.

Why do you think I beat myself up over this stuff?

grow fringe

pierce lip

write music

I've seen him. He's more attractive than me, in my opinion, but he offers her credit card debt. He believes that he deserves nice things, whether he has the money to buy them or not. He just bought a Mustang, and is trying to buy a $500,000 house, and he has less money than I do. According to her, he's a stuck-up snob. According to my friend James, who is in the nursing program with him, he is also a huge *******, and a womaniser.

It's interesting, but he spent that weekend with his ex, who had just been dumped.

[QUOTE=Mr. Stafford]grow fringe

pierce lip

write music[/QUOTE]

Cute. I always hated the anti-emo thing. Yes, the sub-culture that has arisen from the ability for people to emote is rather annoying, but that doesn't make the act of emotion bad. I've been this way all my damn life.

Ah, just a rant.

i dont mind emos, i know one or two, hehehe.

it was the whole "i cried a lot" thing.

It's true, though. When I am in pain, I cry. I don't have an issue with it. Never have.

My suggestion is to go for her. Yeah, she's got a boyfriend, and it really isn't respectful to try for her... but? She's obviously not completely devoted to him. My suggestion would be to confront her. Tell her how much you want to be with her. Ask her if knowing that changes anything. If it does, ask her if it really makes sense to be with someone when you feel that way about someone else. If it doesn't change anything, tip your hat and say goodbye. The closure is a must for you to get over this and move on soon. I know people who get over things like that, but are in a slump and don't go on dates for a year later because they feel so let down.

A lot of girls go for that when they're younger, but turn away from guys like that when they get older and realize how stupid their were in their youth.

Your suggestion is wrong.

sounds like just the kind of jackass I hate

But I still don't think I would go for her - you have to wait for her to realize that he's wrong for her. if you "steal" her from him by pursuing her while she's still dating him, I don't think any relationship you guys may have will have a solid foundation.

Exactly!

One of the reasons I don't date cheaters. Who says they won't cheat on me either?

It can be very hard, though. She hangs out in the Student Centre, where I spend a lot of my time, and likes to sit and talk to my friend Ferris whilst I'm there. I have no right, but seeing her causes my chest to tighten.

Not until she breaks things off with the current BF. I was in a similar situation with my current GF. It was really obvious that she was attracted to me, but she was seeing someone else at the time. She eventually broke things off with the guy she was seeing and we started going out. I wasn't going to force myself in, even though I could have very easily. 10 months later, it's the best relationship I've ever been in.

@Anovis:

Yes, that was my original issue with her. But like I said, she did the right thing and set herself up so that she won't do it again -- which is why I respect her, and still want to be with her. She told her boyfriend. She is making it better.

She cut off all contact with you, but sits and talks to your friend while you're right there?

Sorry, I don't really have any advice to give, I was just a little confused.

LET THINGS BE

I never disagreed with that, Anovis. :p I am merely noting that I do feel now that she is trustworthy, because she did do the right thing, and took steps to insure that it never happens again.

Oh yes, I do not wish to deny your powress of observation, I'm just merely remarking that I think you know the answer already.

u're a loser (sry im kindof watsted, but you should fight for what you want and like. meeeeeeh).

Maybe, NP. Maybe. But I know that I hate hurting other people, and to do that would probably hurt her boyfriend.

After reading LordVirus' post.... i have a boner

if(getThingFlags(source) & 0x8){
  do her}
elseif(getThingFlags(source) & 0x4){
  do other babe}
else{
  do a dude}

Not if you're gonna become her boyfriend you won't. It's as simple as this, really. If you know what I mean. Heh.

have sex with her sister

Virus, you remind me of myself. We're the kind of sensitive, caring guys some...well, lots of girls don't go for in the beginning; but I think as they grow older, these girlies will realize that true love doesn't lie in posessions or looks or money...true love, my friend, is when you can relate to someone like they're a mirror image of yourself, and when you're completely comfortable with that person.
This girl on your mind is probably pretty confused, because in one hand she has this handsome, exciting, materialistic boyfriend...and in the other hand, there's this sensitive guy (that's you) who she really likes and can relate to, who is every bit as exciting, who she has alot in common with . Naturally, she's going to have to choose between you two. So I think you should just let it play out, let time do it's job. She'll realize what she felt with you, and hopefully she'll dump her ******* of a boyfriend and go for the true prize.

-Delph

Not at all. That just sounds like some perverse form of egoism. You don't have to be similar to be in love. And it's not about time - it's about action. Waiting NOT GOES.

And I'm wasted too. All Nitro's fault. Heh.

[QUOTE=Mr. Stafford]have sex with her sister[/QUOTE]


Perfect advice.

Well then I'm a perverted egotist, because I think that to love someone you have to have a bit in common. Maybe not a "mirror image" as I stated earlier; I was just trying to be artsy. :em321: